Not hearing from Brady has me worried. I figured putting some time in at the bar would dissuade my thoughts. Wrong. Every time a shadow passes the door I look up, expecting him to walk in. I’ve even tried listening to music, but everything reminds me of him. Brady has enough reggaetón programmed on the sound system to open a dance hall.
After an hour of pretending to do inventory, I decide to get some real work done. Payroll needs to be finished. I’m barely out of the room when someone knocks. My heart stutters. Turning around, I see my little sister with her husband at her side. Moving to the door, the stutter morphs into hammering as I mentally prep the conversation we’re about to have.
As soon as I throw the lock, Tia and Brian rush in. My gaze goes from their connected hands to their beaming faces. They’re happy. Joyfully in love with each other and clueless of the danger we’re all in. Their actions smack of immaturity. Brian should have known better. He was supposed to remind Tia of their obligation to the creed, not act like a couple of teenagers. Happy or not, there are consequences. It’s time to throw a little cold water on the party.
“Hey, Audra,” Tia says brightly. She takes a good look at me, and her smile fades faster than the setting sun. “Crap. You’re in a bad mood.”
For Brian’s sake, I force a grin on my face. “Is this better?”
My sister releases his hand. “Maybe we should talk in the office?”
My new brother kisses her cheek and goes over to a table near the door.
Keeping my thoughts to myself, for now, I pivot on my heel and leave the room. Tia runs behind me, her heels clicking across the wood floor. I let her take a seat before slamming the door.
“What in hell were you thinking?” I shout.
Tia squirms on the wooden chair. “I—”
“Did I give you permission to speak?” I swear I sound like Mom—not my intention. “First, you mate without discussing the matter. Then, you run off and get married. What? Are you pregnant?”
Rolling her eyes, she says, “No. I’m not stupid, Audra. Can you stop being so dramatic?”
“How am I supposed to be?” I drag a hand through my hair. “Did you expect me to join in your celebration?”
She folds her arms over her ample chest. “What I expected, dear sister, was your support! Last time I checked, Brian and I are adults. We didn’t need permission to bond or marry.”
I mimic her posture. “Oh. So you’re grown now?”
“I’ve been grown. You would have noticed if you stopped obsessing over pack shit for a minute.”
My jaw drops. Tia has never sworn in front of me. In a quieter voice, I say, “I don’t obsess.”
Tia gives an impatient snort. “Right. It’s all you’ve done since Mom and Dad died. All we ever hear is pack this and pack that.”
“Someone had to be the responsible one,” I shoot back.
“Have you received a fucking award for your sense of honor?” Tia stands up and points to her vacated chair. “For once, you need to listen to somebody else speak.”
Holding my ground, I simply stare at the chair. My sister can’t possibly be serious.
“Sit your ass down!” she screams.
Okay. I guess she is serious. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I perch on the edge of the chair. Taking orders from my younger sibling doesn’t sit well with me, but I’ll allow it.
This time.
“Thank you.” Tia lowers her voice. “How long has Brian been my best friend?”
I scrunch up my forehead and shrug. That’s a dumb question. They’ve been friends since they were little pups.
“Like forever.” Tia pushes her hair off her forehead, holds it for a minute, before letting it fall back in place. It’s a bad habit for the both of us—playing with our hair when frustrated. “We fell in love when we were sixteen. Remember what you said to me back then?”
The memory has haunted me ever since I learned Tia and Brian mated. It was the same speech Mom and Dad said to me when I announced I was in love with Brady. “You were too young to be in love. You should wait until you were adults to decide how you felt.”
“Exactly. Maybe you thought we would grow apart, but our feelings only grew stronger and deeper. We kept right on loving each other. By the time we graduated, we knew what we wanted. Brian proposed to me last year.”
“He did?” There’s a news flash. I had no idea things had gotten that serious. I wonder if Brady knew.
“I tried to tell you, but as usual, pack business was more important.” Tia leans against my desk. “Now that I have a mother figure in my life again, maybe my big sister could come back?”
“I didn’t go anywhere.”
Tia shakes her head. “You don’t see it. When you took over the pack, you became some scary blend of Mom and Dad. If you weren’t stressing over politics, you were treating me like a toddler. You’ve never taken me seriously. Brian does.”
Of course, he does. He’s in love with her.
“I’m glad for you, but couldn’t you two have waited?”
Tia sighs. “How do I get you to understand that we didn’t need to wait? We’re good for each other, Audra. We complete each other. Brian didn’t want to become beta. He was scared that he might have to be alpha one day.”
“That’s usually how it works,” I say.
“We know that. Brian just needed to know he wasn’t alone. We talked. I helped him see that there were benefits to the title. As long as he’s a strong beta, Brady can be the leader members need. Unless something happens to Brady…” Tia’s brow wrinkles for a brief moment. She raises her palms. “Well, nothing’s going to happen.”
“That’s a child’s way of thinking,” I point out.
“No. It’s embracing optimism. I refuse to look at it any other way.” Tia rubs her eyebrow. “You always search for the negatives in every circumstance. You’ve lived your entire adult life in negativity. When are you going to do something for you?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I attempt to stand up, but Tia stomps on my foot with her high heels.
“Ow!”
“I’m not done,” she says through clenched teeth. Her eyes stay fixed on me. “We didn’t come here to argue.”
“What do you want then?”
Tia removes her foot. “I’m delivering a warning. You need to accept the bond with Brady for your protection. Elsbeth—”
“Can’t protect us against the Mercier witch. I know all about it.”
Tia’s eyebrows draw together. “What do you plan to do? Brady can’t protect you without the bond.”
Splaying my hands wide on my thighs, I push myself off the chair. “Ever think I might be able to take care of myself?”
“Against a witch?” Tia cocks her head to one side. “You’re strong and stubborn as a mule, but it’s going to take more than that with this witch. Or maybe you plan on hiding underneath Elsbeth’s filthy skirts?”
The thought of sharing that space with her pets makes my skin crawl. Not to mention whatever else is buried under there. Eeew! “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.”
There’s a knock on the door. It creaks open and Brian sticks his head in. “Sorry to interrupt, but Mom wants us home.”
Tia nods as she faces me. “Audra, I’ll always worry about you. Someone has to. You’re too busy worrying about everyone else.”
Not fair. I don’t have a choice.
Instead of addressing her comment, I glance over at Brian. “Welcome to the family, little brother.”
He flashes a toothy grin at me. “Thanks. I hope Tia was able to convince you. Brady needs you. We all need you.”
“No promises, but I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all we’re asking,” he says, before tugging my sister from the room.
My sister’s words stay with me right through the lunch crowd. Neither of my siblings has a great opinion about me. One thinks I chose to be alpha.
Didn’t you? No one put a gun to your head. The pack would have survived.
The other one thinks I’m only concerned with the pack.
Well, you do care. The pack trumped bonding and marrying Brady.
Not true. I’m being responsible. Someone had to. Greg will never pick up the slack and take over. Tia chose the Romero family. She’s content to be a wife. A follower. That’s not me. Will never be me.
Are you sure?
Contrary to Tia’s beliefs, I am thinking of me. I have the bar and a home. I have a pack that will continue to support me as long as I do what’s best for them. I don’t regret my choices.
Keep telling yourself that. One day you might believe it.
I pour myself a couple of fingers of Devil’s Mark and continue working on payroll. I’m appreciating the quiet when the front door swings open. The stench proceeds him.
“We’re not open. Come back in two hours, Cal,” I announce and start gathering my files.
“Not looking for a drink, Audra. Just want a few minutes of your time. A talk. Nothing else.” He lowers his beefy body onto a stool. “It won’t take long.”
This may be the biggest mistake I’ve yet to make, but I choose to let him speak. Words can’t hurt, right?
The right ones from the wrong individuals can do plenty of damage.
“Make it quick,” I say.
“Promise.” He points to the lone bottle beside me. “A few fingers of whiskey might be nice since I came to bury the hatchet.”
Did I hear him right? I twist the cap off the bottle and reach for another glass. Pouring out a smidgen, I pass one across the counter. “What’s this about?”
“Your boyfriend got the wrong idea. He called in reinforcements like he’s prepping for something to go down.” Calhoun tosses the drink down in one gulp. He wipes his mouth with the back of his chunky hand. He gestures for a refill. “Thought you might like to know Drew and I ain’t planning shit.”
My eyes narrow as I pour out another few fingers worth. “How can we be sure? Ryders aren’t known for being trustworthy.”
“Listen, ain’t nobody got time for games. Drew and me got to go to New Orleans and claim our father’s body.” He stands so fast the stool topples over. “Tell your army to stand the fuck down.”
Maybe I should cut him a little slack? I’ve been in his shoes. Having to claim a body is hard. When it’s a parent, it’s even harder. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Calhoun finishes his drink and slams the glass on the counter. “Don’t need your pity. Just talk to your damned boy.”
Grieving doesn’t give Calhoun permission to be nasty. The oversized cat won’t intimidate me. I lift my chin. “First, I’m not with Brady anymore. Second, if he’s raised an army, it’s for a good reason. As long as you keep your word, you have nothing to fear.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I fear no wolf. Especially a no-account Romero wolf.” Calhoun clumps toward the door. He stops and faces me. “Oh, one more thing, Audra. When we get back, you and me gonna finish what we started.”
Butterflies, carrying an arsenal of sharp weapons, meander in my gut. “What are you talking about?”
“Me helping you…” He points a finger at me. “…forget about Pretty Boy.”
Bile threatens to rise up my throat. I choke back my disgust. I’d rather fuck a jackal before I let the likes of Calhoun Ryder even touch me. “No, thank you. I have a generous supply of batteries.”
He grabs his crotch. “None needed.”
I press one hand against my heaving stomach while the other covers my mouth. Calhoun laughs and then walks out the door.
Between the conversation with Tia and the confrontation with Calhoun, I’m too flustered to work. Leaving my assistant manager in charge, I head home.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to coming home to an empty house. No one to share my day with. No one to share a meal with. It’s damned depressing. But tonight… Tonight I’m not alone, and it doesn’t surprise me.
“Mind if I turn on a light?” I say into the darkness.
“Actually, it matches my mood,” Brady says from the other side of the room.
Not him too. I toss my keys onto the table by the door. “Let me guess… You’re here about the bond. You need me to accept it along with your protection.”
“Yeah.”
I flick on the lamp. “Not necessary.”
Brady’s eyebrows squeeze together. “Huh?”
“Cal came by the bar a little while ago.” I sit on the opposite end of the sofa. “He told me that the Ryders aren’t planning anything.”
“Bullshit!” Brady’s face reddens. “You believed him?”
Gazing at the floor, I say, “He’s going to New Orleans to claim his father’s body. War is the furthest thing from his mind.”
“Still—”
“I’ve been in his shoes, Brady.” I glance up. “Losing a parent is hard.”
His hands, resting on his legs, fist. “I may not have lost a parent, but losing a brother is just as hard.”
“So maybe we can cut Cal and Drew a little slack?”
“No.”
“No?”
Brady stands up. “Don’t let them play you. They can’t be trusted. I’ve spoken with Hank. Elijah’s been dead for a good long minute. Why would they just now be going to claim the body?”
I rub my temple. “I don’t know. Maybe it takes awhile for the city to turn over the body?”
“I’m not buying it. If you refuse to bond and marry me, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable.”
“Damn it, Brady! I’m not a child! I’m as capable as you are. I can take care of myself!” I shout. Frankly, I’m tired of this whole scenario. “Stop trying to change me.”
Brady stops pacing. He crouches in front of me. “I’m not trying to change you, Audra. I’m not trying to take away your freedom. If anything happens to you, I’ll die.” He exhales. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
Good question. And I don’t know the answer.
Give up being alpha?
Put all the nonsense behind me?
No more worries.
No more struggles. Isn’t it the decision I’ve been trying to make?
But I can’t. Not like this.
Sure, it would be easy to give in and let Brady do what he’s been wanting to do for years—take care of me. Thing is, I don’t want to become one of those submissive alpha wives. I witnessed my mother trade in her hopes and dreams for Dad. He transformed a strong female with a promising singing career into one content to serve. Her days were filled with courtesy calls to the homes of members, checking on newborn pups, providing shelter to strays, and helping elderly members find a new purpose. Boring shit that stole the gleam in her eyes. By the time she died, Mom did whatever Dad asked and never considered her own needs. I won’t let that happen to me.
Truth is, I like being an alpha. What I don’t like is having to make this choice—my happiness or the good of the pack. No one should have to do this.
But you do.
Drawing in a deep breath, I prepare to deliver the words that might be the death of this relationship. I lean forward and grasp Brady’s hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to bond and marry. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Brady’s chest hitches. “I hear a but.”
“Let me finish.” I clear my throat. “My problem is I don’t want to be an alpha’s wife. I like my independence.”
A lop-sided grin tugs at Brady’s lips. “Who said you had to lose it?”
“Tradition. A pack can’t have two alphas.” The situation would lead to chaos within the packs. Members wouldn’t know who to follow.
“Understood. But I need my mate and a wife. There won’t be a match with Amber. She’s about to get married to someone from the Broussard pack.”
Thank the heavens for that.
“Yeah, yeah.” I wave my free hand in the air. “But we no longer have a threat. Can’t we just continue as we’ve been doing? Give this a year? I’ll select a new beta and groom him to take over.”
Brady frowns and stands up. “It doesn’t take a year to groom a beta. If you choose the right wolf, he should be eager at the chance.”
I rise to my feet. “I’ll think about it. Okay?”
“Fine. Will you at least do me a favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Stay home. I’ll station some of my pack around the property. That way if the Ryders try anything, you’re protected.”
Pushing my shoulders back, I purse my lips and shake my head. “No. I come and go as I see fit. We both have pack members who work at Balls Up. I’m not living in a fortress. Cal and Drew will not force me into that type of life.”
Brady frowns before he wraps his arms around me. “You have to be the most stubborn female on Earth. I swear if anything happens to you, I’ll tear this fucking town apart. There won’t be a rock left for the Ryders to hide under.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”