Chapter Thirteen
RUTH
It took two days to get Ma set up in her new home. It made me happy to finally know it would be lived in. It was a thirty-minute drive from my house, and I truthfully wished she’d stay with me. I didn’t think she’d agree, though, because by the time everything was set up in her house; she kicked me and Jayne to the curb. Something about us being annoying, and she couldn’t make her house a home with us around. So, I left her a credit card and a car for her to do as she wanted. I didn’t care what she did as long as it had nothing to do with drugs or my sperm donor. I’d admit I was nervous leaving her alone, but something felt different this time. The only way we’d know if she could succeed was if I treated her like she wasn’t a recovering addict. If I stuck by her side, she’d know what I was doing.
“You haven’t gotten a moment to write any lyrics the last couple of days, have you?’ Jayne asked me as John drove us to the studio.
“It’s fine. Getting Ma in her house has been worth it.” There was a warmth in me that continued to linger. I wanted this to work with Ma. She deserved to be happy even after I was gone.
She agreed. “It has.” She peered out the window thoughtfully. “Think she’d get mad if we crashed at her place?” Jayne didn’t bring it up much, but I knew her parents had passed away when she was around nineteen. Sometimes I thought that’s why she helped me so much to mend my relationship with my own mother.
“She’s probably already put padlocks on the doors.” I stared out the window, the idea of Ma doing just that sent a fuzzy, warmth of affection for her throughout my chest.
Jayne’s unladylike snort had me glimpsing her way. “I’d say you’re right.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go in with me?” I sent The Oppressors a text earlier letting them know I’d be here today so that they could hopefully help get the words out of me. They were as restless as I was, so I knew they’d be there.
It didn’t help that I hadn’t seen or heard from my muse since my masturbation video call three nights ago. I had no chance to call him, but he hadn’t called me either. That didn’t matter. The fact that I wanted to talk to him was the issue. Time was of the essence—aka time to be selfish.
But besides that, there was a more urgent problem like the fact that Jayne tucked her imaginary tail between her legs and wouldn’t come with me while I hung out with the band. “Don’t think I don’t remember you running away the moment they gave you attention.” I squinted at her.
Her face turned red. “Something about them makes me nervous,” she whispered, pushing her hair behind her ear. “You wouldn’t understand being a celebrity yourself.” Then her shyness vanished in an instant as she lifted her head and gave me a sneaky leer. “Or maybe you do.” Oh, God. I knew where she was going with this. “You act like a weirdo around Amit!” she accused.
I laughed. “That isn’t very nice.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Go see your band. I’m going to work out then buy a dozen donuts for me to eat later since that’s the way I roll.”
“You’re so childish.” I shook my head as I opened the car door, then pointed toward her before getting out. “You better halve those donuts with me.”
______
Liam stopped singing abruptly a couple of hours later, forcing the guys to stop playing. Instead of being in the room across from them, I sat in the floor as they played around with some sounds. My knees were propped up and my notebook was in hand. My hair was up and I wore a pair of jeans and T-shirt with a slight bit of makeup. As a singer, I felt required to give so much into my appearance, but I appreciated the days I could avoid the heels and designer clothes.
Liam grabbed his forehead and sighed. “I can’t concentrate like this.”
“I know what you mean.” Pete glared.
I frowned. “What do you mean? Actually, I think the sound is quite good.”
Liam twisted around on his stool and glanced down at me for a second. “It’s not the music.” He slanted his head forward in a way that had me peeking through the window. “He’s been glowering through the window at us for the last hour.”
Amit was on the other side. His rigid posture sent off his signature don’t-fuck-with-me vibes.
Liam brought his arm up and started waving then said, “Hi,” which had the other two doing the same thing. Apparently, they didn’t care if they pissed off the president.
I gripped the notebook as I studied him. Too perfect. Too imitating. Even after days of not seeing or hearing his voice, my stomach still dipped. And for some reason, this unpleasant man let me do and say what I wanted to him. Double stomach dip.
Dark blue suit again. That color always made his penetrating gray eyes more intense.
“Is he waiting for you?” Liam quirked a brow and asked me.
I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t think…” I glimpsed over and caught Amit staring at me. Heat seeped between my thighs, and I wondered if he knew his effect on me.
“How unfortunate.” Pete placed his guitar down.
“What is?” I asked.
“You.”
I blinked, then blinked again. “How am I unfortunate?”
“For encountering someone like him,” Steve answered disdainfully, motioning his head toward Amit.
My eyes widened as my gaze snapped toward Amit who was still glowering at me, then back to them. “He can hear us you know.”
“We know.” Liam added, then the three of them gleamed like devils.
I gazed back through the glass at Amit, only he was gone. “Damn, he left.” Pete said in a monotone like he was disappointed Amit gave them no reaction.
I stood and rubbed a hand over my numb ass since I’d been sitting on the floor for hours. “I’ll be right back.”
They all gave me a disapproving look as I opened the door and stepped into the hall. Once it closed behind me, it only took me a second to spot Amit waiting. “Fancy seeing you here again.” No reaction as usual, but it didn’t change the fact that I knew the only reason he was coming around was because of me. “Do you want to grab some food?” I asked easily. Why not? Amit was seeking me out even if he pretended otherwise. I liked it. Even if he had a strange way about doing it.
His strong silvery eyes blinked. Before he could say no, I went ahead and said, “I have a baseball cap I keep in the car.” There was a sudden impulse to reach for his arm, which caused a moment of terror when I thought of the demon and what he might do. I dropped my outstretched arm. I stepped ahead of him then peeked over my shoulder at him. “Come on. There’s a hot dog stand a few blocks down. We can walk.” I stopped and sighed. “Shit. Hold on, I left my purse.”
He finally spoke. “I’ll get it.” I hadn’t expected him to offer.
I nodded slowly. “Okay… then I’ll meet you downstairs after I get the cap?” A hat really didn’t make me incognito but it did help somewhat. People would have to actually look to see who I was.
He didn’t answer, but I assumed since he was grabbing my purse for me he planned to walk with me. After he entered the room where The Oppressors were, I headed downstairs and called John. It only took him a couple of minutes to show up so he must not have been far away. I picked up the cap in the back seat and let him know he could take the rest of the day off since I planned to get Amit to take me home.
He walked outside as John drove away. Observing Amit’s stern expression, I slipped my ponytail inside the cap and adjusted it. “Ready?”
He handed me my purse and asked, “Are you fine with walking?”
“Oh yeah. I love being outside.” I tilted my head to the side as we started walking. His question was surprising. “Do you mind?”
“No.”
Quietly we crossed a street. I noticed the difference in how we must appear—Amit in a suit while I wore holey jeans and a T-shirt. “We look strange next to each other.”
He actually frowned. “Why?”
I pointed to his suit. “Your suit and my jeans. Do you ever wear anything else?”
He looked up at the sky. “Does being naked count?”
I giggled, not expecting this side of him. I didn’t think he was trying to be funny, he was still scowling at the world, but it was still nice that I could be at ease around him. “No.”
“Then no, I don’t.”
So he walked around his house naked? Interesting. Maybe I should stop by for a visit. I’d need to know where he lived, of course, but I didn’t think the demon would like that too much.
“That wasn’t meant to be funny, was it?” I asked him.
He squinted his eyes over at me. “I don’t find things funny.”
I sucked my cheeks in to keep from laughing again. “Um… You’re serious, aren’t you?”
He sighed, staring ahead. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
I covered my mouth with my hand as I said, “What? That you’re extremely gloomy while being scary in the process?”
“Gloomy?” His frown dug deeper into his features as he looked at me, then he scoffed. “If you say so.” His gaze flicked over me. “Stop smiling.” That only made my lips grow wider, reaching my ears. “You’ve been busy?” He looked ahead as he spoke.
“Oh, yeah,” I started. Did he want to ask about why I hadn’t called him lately? Was this his way of doing that? This big gloomy guy suddenly seemed very cute to me. “I’ve been helping my mom out the last couple of days.”
He said nothing else until we reached the hotdog stand, and I asked him how he wanted his. We both ended up getting two, Coney Island-style and sat down on a bench nearby. I kept the distance between us. He noticed because when I didn’t sit right beside him, his gaze flickered over me disapprovingly, but he said nothing about it.
He looked up at the sky. “It’s going to rain.”
I did the same and frowned. “It’s been raining a lot lately.” When I looked back down, he was staring at me. “What?” He didn’t say anything as he leaned over and placed his thumb against the side of my mouth and ran it across my skin.
“You’re extremely messy,” he finally said.
“Oh.” I wiped the same spot again after he removed his thumb and resumed eating. He took me by surprise there, like he’d been doing since we left together. I didn’t even think to pull away when he touched me. Fear raced through me as I watched him without blinking until I was sure the demon wasn’t going to swoop in and steal him from me.
“What is it?” He took a drink of his water.
I leaned back and shook my head to break the spell of staring at him. “Nothing. I just don’t really like people touching me.” I swear it was like he was peering through me sometimes when he watched me through those gray eyes. So unnerving and thrilling all at once.
“I don’t have any intention of touching you,” he stated with a high-level of gloom in his voice.
“You just did.”
He looked irritated that I pointed it out or maybe he hadn’t realized himself. A drop of rain fell on his cheek and directed his anger to the sky. “Come on.” He took my hand when he had just said he had no intention of touching me.
I jerked away, and we rushed into the first building we came to. We didn’t get wet. The rain let us get inside before she poured. “You touched me again,” I whispered.
“I won’t again.” He stood a breath apart from me. Too close. I backed away, but his gaze still felt way too close. It was suffocating. I took a deep breath as we stood by the window and watched the rain fall instead of focusing on the feelings spiraling out of my chest for the man in front of me.
“Call tonight.” It was him that initiated it.
But it was me that answered. “I will.”