Chapter Six
RUTH
“I don’t want to see you,” Ma clipped out at the sight of me entering the rehabilitation center’s cafeteria. She sat with a few other regulars that frequented this place as much as she did. I was on a first name basis with most of them.
“I miss you too,” I said as I parked my ass in the seat across from her. She purposely scooted her chair to the left so that it was no longer directly across the table from mine.
“Always a pleasure to see you, Ruth,” Brian, one Ma’s oldest friends said to me with a smile. He was heavyset and balding with a bad habit of drinking and becoming violent afterward. In this place though I’d never known him to be anything other than nice.
“If I had a daughter with all that money, I sure wouldn’t be telling her to shoo,” Darlene muttered as she stood and made her way to the only TV in the cafeteria which tended to start fights between everyone here. “Who has the remote?” Darlene asked as she limped on her good leg. “You better not be hiding it again, Dylan, or I’ll karate chop your skinny ass.”
Dylan was a twentysomething-year-old whose family kept putting him in here every time he overdosed. He always enjoyed stirring up trouble with the way Darlene talked about him every time I came to see Ma. He took one look at me and averted his gaze. It was amazing how unimportant I was in the face of someone who loved drugs more than anything or anyone else. Any other person would have dropped the remote and become speechless or tried asking me for an autograph. In here, people were different. They looked exhausted. I was just another face, and I didn’t mind.
“How are you, Barb?” Jayne asked Ma as she crossed her arms and scowled. I had inherited that same scowl from her.
“Why you keep sendin’ her here?” Ma asked.
“To check on you, and to see if you want to come home.” I leaned back in my chair and returned her glare.
“I don’t want that house,” she hissed, and I sighed. She wouldn’t take anything I offered her. I bought her a house the moment I got money, and what did she do? She stayed in our ratty-ass apartment until her pill popping became so bad I had to check her into this place. Ma would leave, and I’d bring her back, until lately, she liked staying more than leaving. There was no apartment to go back to. She was stuck coming home with me or going to the house I got her. She didn’t like me getting her anything, but even I was surprised that she refused my money time and time again.
“You look good,” I told her honestly. Her hair was clean and brushed. Her skin had a healthy sheen to it as did her eyes. She glanced over at Brian and gave him that look I recognized. He got up and waved to me goodbye. I braced myself for whatever it was she wanted to say.
“Have you spoken to your father?” she asked sourly.
“You mean that sperm donor?” I scoffed, then paused. “No, why?” My father had never been a figure in my life unless you counted the times he’d come home for a few days, take what he wanted from Ma, then leave her in a deeper pit than she already was with her vices.
“He stopped by…”
“Ma,” I hissed.
“Don’t start, Ruth, I told him to get gone.”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and told myself to calm down.
“Good. He ain’t never been there for us, you know that. You’re better without him.” I mumbled softly since I knew how she was when it came to me trying to compliment her.
“You’re a beauty like Ruth,” Jayne added embarrassingly, in her typical odd fashion. “I bet you got all the dudes lining up for a chance with you in this place.”
Ma gave her a moronic look that had me smiling. “Honey, the fellas in here got more problems than I do.” My grin waned when Ma’s eyes fell on me once more. “Leave me be, Ruth, I don’t want your money.”
“Ma,” I pleaded. “Look how far I’ve come, let me take care of us. Better yet, let’s check you out right now and take a vacation. You’re doing great, I can tell—”
“Ruth, you made a name for yourself. You’ve come this far all on your own.” No, I didn’t but no one knew that. “Lord knows I didn’t help you any growing up and because of that, you leaned on someone that stole your lyrics and nearly took your shine.”
“Don’t bring her up,” I told her. “It’s in the past. I’m over it.”
“I’m not. You were almost overlooked because of where you came from.”
I studied her. “Where is this coming from?” Normally, she was all venom and no regret, always trying to shove me out the door. Something was definitely amiss.
“Nothing’s wrong. Just wish you’d leave me alone.” She wiped her forehead and looked down at the table. Ma was in her early forties, yet she was prettier now than she was years ago. I’d like to believe I gave her a reason to do better, but for the most part, I knew it was wishful thinking. I’ve never been enough for her.
I leaned over the table and reached for her hands. She looked up when I grabbed them. “I love you enough for the both of us, you know that? I feel like these years have been working. You look different. Good.”
She pulled away, and I could tell she was uncomfortable. And it must have been more wishful thinking on my part when I saw the water in her eyes before she wiped them. “I didn’t give him your number, but he’s becoming more persistent lately.”
“Who the sperm donor?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Your sperm donor. Don’t give him your money. That’s the only reason he’d come around.” She’d given him my information a few times before which proved my point that Ma was different. I’d change my number and every time, I always gave her my new one because unlike her, I was never bothered by that man. I just blocked him and moved on.
I grinned. “Won’t be the first time he’s tried or the hundredth. Why? Are you worried he’s going to give me problems?”
“No.”
I smiled anyway because I knew with Ma some things were the opposite.
______
I turned my head and eyed Jayne beside me in the back seat. I had nothing I needed to do, and although there was so much I wanted to do, John drove us to my house.
Jayne glanced at her phone and said, “Huh?”
“What is it?” I leaned against the door and stared at her.
“Liz seems to be trying to make a comeback.” She glanced over at me. “She has an album in the works.”
“Good for her,” I mumbled as I peered out the window.
“You really don’t care at all, do you?” she asked incredulously.
“No.” And that was the truth. “I’m not eighteen anymore. I lost some songs but in the end, I got what I wanted. She crashed and burned so quickly that I was disappointed more than anything. Besides, I have so much more to worry about than Liz’s comeback.”
Like dying.
“Like telling Amit Kingston to fuck off?” I could hear the smile in her voice, but at the mention of his name my mood dampened.
“Fuck him,” I muttered again just because I could. Hey, it was my prerogative. It didn’t help anything, but it lifted my spirits to curse at those who pissed me off.
“You got his number.” She leaned in. “Want to go get a prepaid phone and prank call the bastard?”
That made me laugh. “What are you twelve?” I sat taller in my seat until I was caught by my seat belt. “Aye, Rupert,” I yelled, and he was already smiling so he must have been listening in on our conversation. “Aye, John, stop and pick us up some drinks.”
“Yess!” Jayne hissed excitedly.
______
Five hours and too many of Jayne’s nasty drink concoctions later, she was giggling, and I was snorting too loud. The more she giggled, the more I snorted—it was a chain reaction.
“Ruth,” she slurred, resting her head against the sofa where we sat on the floor. Moose lay between us silently observing. “Not that I hate it, in fact, I love that you’re down-to-earth enough to hang out with little old me, but why aren’t you out enjoying your fame and money partying with the fellas and having fun?”
I cocked my head at her. “Have you forgotten that I’m Dark Goddess?” I caught my head in my palm as I leaned against the sofa. “Someone dies every time I try to have fun.”
“Are you talking about Matt Donavan?” She sat up and lifted her eyebrows. “Just what kind of fun are we talking about?”
I snorted, clutching my head as it swam for several seconds. “I haven’t had sex since I started singing.”
Her mouth fell open. “I knew it!” she screeched. “I’m with you too much, so I would have—” She stopped and gave me a bashful smile. “Sorry, I was always curious. You’re beautiful, Ruth, and it’s a shame someone isn’t giving you attention. You know it’s nothing but accidents, right? Accidents happen all the time. You’re not cursed like they say.”
If only she knew.
“That doesn’t bother me,” I said, reaching for my cell phone on the coffee table. Unlocking it, I pulled up Amit’s number and studied it harshly. I sighed long and hard. “Damn it.”
“What?” she asked.
Instead of answering, my fingers were in a fury tapping against my phone screen.
Me: Fuck youuuu.
Me: Fuck.
Me: You.
Me: This is Ruth, BTW.
“Who are you texting?” Jayne asked me.
“Why did you take me to see him?” I groaned. “Makes me furious just thinking about him.”
“Did you text him?” She frowned despite being drunk. “That’s probably not a good thing. Oh well, he deserves whatever shit you’re giving him.”
I dropped my phone accidentally hitting Moose with it. He yelped and moved away. “Sorry, Moose.” I groaned. “But really, why does he have to be so mouthwatering? It only confuses me.”
My drunken text was sent in anger, but in a moment of truth, it might be an act of desperation to snag the attention of someone that appealed to me.
I’m running out of time, and the demon won’t let me fall in love or act on lust.
________
AMIT
“I think they are talking about you, Sire,” Lars stood beside me as he spoke.
I sighed. “They are.”
My eyes fell on Ruth’s legs as she stretched out. I couldn’t figure out why neither of them were sitting on the sofa. Instead, her and Jayne were both sitting on the floor beside the coffee table. She parted her legs, and I quickly looked the other way. She was wearing those damned shorts she always wore around the house that left nothing to the imagination. Slowly, I let my gaze trail back over her.
Mouthwatering?
I wasn’t going to think too hard about the fact that my food thought I was mouthwatering. The irony…
I leisurely let my stare roam up her legs, to the way her shorts rode up her slit. She always sat the same way most of the time, never knowing she was placing me at the brink of madness. My form rippled and moved to my heightened emotions, namely desire.
I hated the human body—hated my own even… Until now. Until hers.
It was such a habit for me to watch her over the years, and now I couldn’t seem to break myself from it. Even with Lars here, I still tended to observe her in person. What else did I have to do while I was stuck in the human world waiting to eat her soul?
I’m a fucking idiot.
Since when, for how long, I didn’t know, but when I saw her each day, the need to fill her, plunge into her ripe human body grew increasingly worse. I had the means to take her however I wanted, thanks to my human form—I’d never been thankful of that part of me before.
But that didn’t mean I liked those thoughts. I fucking hated them in fact. Most days, I pretended they weren’t there. Her soul was what I was after.
“Aren’t you going to go see what she texted you?” Lars looked up at me.
I was curious, but I’d burn in Hell before I’d admit that to Lars.
“You’re normally in the dog by now, what’s that about?” I asked him instead of answering his question.
“You always get angry when I go near her when you’re around. I figured I’d wait—” He saw me move and flinched. “I’m going, I’m going. Maybe you’ll go back to normal after eating her soul.”
Ignoring his comment, I watched Lars creep up toward Moose so that the dog wouldn’t see him. As soon as Lars was inside the dog, the animal jumped into her lap. Unbelievable that Lars had the nerve to wonder why I was pissed every time he possessed the dog. I did not allow myself to touch Ruth, so the fact that he always got to was beyond irritating.
I left without saying another word to Lars. He already knew to be on his best behavior and let me know if Ruth tried to do anything like get laid. A soul flourished the longer it strayed from sinful acts. It wasn’t that what she did mattered to me. I cared about the soul I was tending. Only today had definitely put a damper on her soul’s health. And that was the entire reason I’d left her to live this long, because the day I had originally planned to devour it her soul wilted. I couldn’t waste a soul such as hers when it had fallen apart because of the human Liz. Add to the fact that she had met me right after was even worse on a soul. Humans had a hard time accepting that anything beyond their comprehension existed.
So, I took on the biggest nuance of my life.
It better be worth it.
I spotted my phone on the sofa back at my house where I left it. I switched forms, sliding into my human one, conjured up some clothes, and checked my messages from Ruth.
Fuck you.
Fuck youuuu.
Fuck.
You.
This is Ruth, BTW.
I gripped my phone and felt the veins in my neck pulsing.
Her soul better be worth it.
Somehow, I knew it was.