Week 35: Baby is the size of a papaya!

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds. Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete.

***

“MRS. JOHNSON? THE DOCTOR will see you now.”

Mandy didn’t bother correcting Tina, she just followed the chubby woman into the back to get her vitals done.

Elliot was supposed to be meeting Mandy at Dr. Robert’s office. There was some trouble from the other day that he was still dealing with. It was when the news story about Mandy and Elliot had first come out. Paparazzi had surrounded their apartment building and it made coming and going difficult.

In the meantime, Elliot had hired guards to protect Mandy, but she didn’t like having them hovering over her any better than she liked those slimy reporters yelling things at her.

To make matters worse, Andrew had come into the coffee shop drunk a day or two after Christmas. He broke a few things before the police had been able to arrive and arrest him. A new restraining order was in place so that the ‘douchebag’ as Nate called him, couldn’t come back and harm Kim.

Mandy was worried about her ex-brother in law. Andrew wasn’t stable. Kim and Nate went down to the police station and filled out reports on his threats of violence as well as the information about his drug usage. Elliot had been in contact with someone he knew on the DEA. The agent had asked for a meeting with Elliot, Kim & Nate.

Mandy glanced at her watch, he was a half an hour late. But she knew that he wouldn’t miss the appointment unless it was absolutely necessary. And keeping Kim safe would always be a top priority.

“I am going to need you to strip from the waist down.”

Tina’s words permeated Mandy’s head and she frowned. Mandy hated the ‘naked’ appointments. She loathed being handed a piece of tissue paper that was supposed to be a gown and left in a room where it couldn’t be more than fifty degrees.

She grumbled a response and Tina left the room for Mandy to have some privacy. For a second, Mandy contemplated making a run for it. Or in Mandy case it would be a brisk waddle, she was thirty-five weeks pregnant.

There was a sharp knock on the door and then Elliot slipped inside. He stared at her questioningly as she stood there in her panties and socks.

“Do you and Dr. Robert’s have something going on that I should know about?”

Mandy threw her jeans at him, “Go ahead and laugh it up. I have heard there is a machine that they can hook up to the husbands so that they can feel the pain of labor. There is a theory that it helps the father be more involved with the delivery. I thought that since you have missed so much, that you would want to do something like that.”

Elliot sexy grin told her that he wasn’t buying it, “What kind of idiot would strap something like that on?”

Dr. Robert’s entered the room, “How is my favorite patient?”

Elliot’s smile fell, and he growled at his friend.

Mandy had slipped her panties off and was sitting on the examination table with her tissue gown covering her legs.

“Dr. Robert’s! I am so glad you are here. Elliot and I were wondering if you might have that special machine that helps fathers to feel the pains of labor?”

Dr. Robert’s looked from his friend who was scowling at this point back to Mandy who looked happier than he had ever seen her.

“As a matter of fact, I have one here,” Dr. Robert’s patted Elliot on the back before going over to the sink to scrub up and put his gloves on. “We will give it a whirl right after we finish your exam, Mandy.”

Elliot’s color had started to ebb, “There is no need to take up your valuable time.”

Dr. Robert’s shit-eating grin told Elliot that he was well and truly fucked.

**

“WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?”

Robert the butler and Mrs. H leaned over the table in anticipation. Elliot was full-on pouting at the end of the table. He was the only one that was attempting to eat the dinner that Mrs. H had prepared. He for one would rather forget this entire afternoon from the moment he had walked into the OBGYN office.

“They hooked him up to an electronic device which simulates the experience of having a baby.

Which means that it stimulates the muscles in the abdomen with electric shocks to make it contract and at the same time simulate the pain endured by mothers during childbirth. Dr. Robert’s said that Elliot did really well.”

Mrs. H looked perplexed and Robert was downright flabbergasted.

“Must we talk about this over dinner?” Elliot knew that he sounded like a prick. But the last thing he wanted to do was finish this conversation.

“They begin with the low level of fifty,” Mandy explained.

Elliot snorted, there had been nothing low about that first wave of agony. He felt like his skin was ripping apart and had said as much to Dr. Robert’s. What he hadn’t anticipated was that his friend would nod and say that usually the mother was in such pain that they didn’t feel when their skin ripped.

Elliot had almost lost it. What in the fuck was Dr. Robert’s talking about?

And then horror of all horrors he began to explain himself. Elliot had never heard of an episiotomy let alone ripping and tearing. His lunch had started to rebel against him and that was when the sadistic doctor cranked up that damn machine.

Robert looked over at Elliot, “What possessed you to agree to it?”

How in the hell was Elliot supposed to explain to them that his manhood was at stake? How could he expect Mandy to go through the same thing and not be willing to at least try? Mandy smirked but she didn’t comment. Elliot was well aware that he had been played like a damn fiddle.

“How far on the pain scale did he make it?” Mrs. H asked.

Mandy’s grin widened, “So, when a mother delivers the simulated pain threshold is five hundred. And before I tell you how far he went, Dr. Robert’s said that Elliot did better than most fathers in his practice.”

“One-seventy-five!” Elliot boomed, “I made it to one-seventy-five. I am a pussy and there is no way that I could possibly ever give birth to a child. I bow down to the female superiority.”

Mrs. H lips twitched, and Mandy outright laughed. Elliot could feel his own resolve start to crumble.

“It hurt! That stupid mother fucker was the worst thing I have ever been through.”

Mrs. H tied to be properly scandalized at Elliot’s colorful language, but Mandy saw the wink that she gave him, and it warmed her heart. Mrs. H was such a large part of who Elliot was. Even though the older woman hadn’t given birth to any children, Mandy knew that she would be invaluable to them when the baby came.

“You know?” Elliot tapped his chin, “I bet that Nate will tap out before I did.”

Robert barked out a laugh before pretending to cough and excusing himself. Mrs. H shook her head and began to clear the table. Mandy leaned over to kiss Elliot softly on the lips.

She didn’t want to tell him that it scared the shit out of her to see how much pain that he was in. Mandy had worried that he would be angry with her, but Elliot took it all in his stride.

“I am going to call the bastard, Dr. Robert’s needs to bring that thing to the next poker night!”