Mandy and Elliot sat in horrified silence as the birthing video came to its conclusion. Mandy had read about having a baby, she knew the particulars. Her book had gone into detail about the hormones that caused the muscular walls of the uterus to contract. She understood that the mother’s body would naturally know how to expel the fetus.

But none of that had prepared Mandy for what childbirth actually looked like. To make matters worse, Elliot hadn’t said a word, not one during the thirty-minute video. He had sucked in harshly during a few moments and his hand on Mandy’s leg had seemed almost painful at times.

She knew that she should reassure him somehow. But all of the terms kept floating around in her mind vying to attention. There was breech presentation, APGAR scores, placenta, amniotic fluid, meconium, the cephalopelvic disproportion.

Mandy didn’t know what to think, but one thing was certain, she couldn’t do this.

Her hands were shaking, and she tried to push herself up from the couch.

Elliot’s hand on her arm stopped her, “Where are you going?”

Mandy tried to brush him off, “I can’t do that. You need to call Dr. Robert’s and tell him that there has been a mistake. Elliot, I cannot push a watermelon out of my vagina. Did you see what happened to that woman? This is insane.”

Elliot’s eyes widened, Mandy was seriously freaking out. “Hey,” he tried to reason with her, “You will have doctors and medicine if you want it, whatever you need.”

“I need to not have this baby!” Mandy wailed, her eyes rapidly filling with tears. “Did you see everything that could go wrong? Elliot, I am the poster child for things going badly. You have to stop this. I am not kidding.”

“Mandy, you are four weeks away from delivery, I would say we are committed at this point.”

Tears ran down her face and she buried herself in his neck, “I’m sorry, of course I want our baby. I am so just damn scared. What if I screw this up? What if something goes wrong?”

Elliot gathered her close and whispered against her hair, “I refuse to let anything go wrong.”

“You aren’t God!” Mandy weakly hit his chest.

Elliot’s brows rose, “Sweetheart, every new mother gets scared. Shit, I am terrified.”

Mandy wiped her nose on her sleeve and hiccups, “You are?”

Even during an ugly cry, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

“Fuck yeah,” he answered honestly, “What if I am a terrible father? What if I lose my business and I can’t support my family?”

Mandy frowned at him, “That’s ridiculous, you will be an amazing father. And even if you lost the business you have more money than you could spend in ten lifetimes.”

His lips twitched, and she realized that he had been making a point.

Mandy hiccupped again, “D-Damn I hate when you are right.”

“Maybe we could talk to a doula?” Elliot offered, “I am sure that Dr. Robert’s won’t mind.”

Mandy arched a brow, “What do you know about doulas?”

Elliot’s cheeks were flushed, “I’ve been studying up on my birth plans. I know a thing or two.”

Mandy felt the knot inside of her loosen a little. Elliot was so good for her, and she knew that.

“Okay,” Mandy nodded, “Let’s talk to a doula.”

**

ELLIOT CALLED DR. ROBERT’S and was given a few names of doulas that Mandy could choose from. On the third interview she knew that she had met the woman that would help her through the birthing process.

Her name was Faith and she was in her early thirties. Having had three children of her own, Faith had gone back to school to be a midwife and was working as a doula on the side. She spoke highly of Dr. Robert’s and liked working with him.

For the first time since watching the video, Mandy felt like she had a sliver of control back. They talked about medication options, things that Mandy could use in place of those methods or in conjunction with them. Faith said that she would be there every step of the way. And as much as Mandy loved Elliot’s support she needed someone who knew what they were doing to help them.

Mandy had been having nightmares of Dr. Robert’s assistant Tina being the only one to help her. It was crazy and not at all likely, but then Mandy figured that pregnant dreams were meant to be crazy.

She was rushing home to speak with Elliot when he was struck on the head from behind. One moment she was walking on the street and the next she was trying to push the obnoxious thing off of her face. The paramedics fought her to keep the oxygen mask on.

When Mandy realized that she was on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance she really began to panic.

“Is my baby okay?” she pleaded over and over again.

“Ma’am, there is no reason to assume that anything is wrong with the baby. But you have a nasty gash on the back of your head. You are lucky that someone caught you before you could fall to the pavement.”

Mandy wracked her brain over and over again to try and see if she could remember who might have hit her. But the faces on the sidewalk were a blur to her, she hadn’t been paying the least bit of attention. Mandy’s focus was to get to the apartment to tell Elliot after he had gotten home from work.

She was rushed to the emergency room. There Mandy was immediately taken back to check vital signs on the baby. The doctor seemed young, Mandy wanted to ask him how old he was.

“Did you call Elliot Brand? I need Elliot Brand!”

The doctor motioned for a nurse to call Elliot and hooked her up to a fetal monitor. He did a regular ultrasound and a vaginal one.

“Mrs. Brand, you were very lucky. Your baby seems to be doing well, I wish the same could be said for you. I had to put in five stitches to seal the wound. Your hair will most likely cover the scar in the long term. I will be keeping you overnight for observation and Dr. Robert’s will be coming over shortly to evaluate you further. But rest assured that your baby is fine.”

Mandy hadn’t even known she was crying, she thanked the young doctor over and over again. And then felt the medication that he had given her start to kick in. Her eyelids became heavy and she was drifting off when she heard a great commotion in the hospital. But she was too far gone to know what all of the fuss was all about.

Elliot was livid. The police had tracked down Andrew three blocks over, he was still carrying Mandy’s purse. The junky cockily admitted to hitting Mandy and then boasted how he gently laid her down afterward.

Elliot had been told as he was on his way home and immediately traveled to the hospital. With his heart on his sleeve and his stomach in his throat he demanded that she be moved to a private room and be given the best care that money could buy.

She seemed so tiny, lying there with machines hooked up to her belly to monitor the baby, oxygen mask and an IV in her arm.

He had sworn to protect her and let her down. Elliot felt like he wanted to vomit. He spoke with the police but refused to leave her side.

Dr. Robert’s arrived shortly after and was followed by Nate and Kim. Apparently, Kim and Mandy’s parents had been involved in a drug-related shooting. They were both dead. Kim was a mess and Nate promised to bring her back in the morning after she had gotten a little sleep.

Elliot nodded mechanically before looking down at Mandy’s small body still under the influence of the medication. His heart broke for Mandy, because he knew that no matter what they had done to her she would grieve their loss.

It was a long quiet night, the sounds of the machines the only thing breaking the silence as he sat beside her and prayed.