Seven

Johnny

I had no idea what came over me that night, but I’d never been happier to be possessed. I had no clue why Scarlett wanted to go home and change after we got Nathan and Daniel settled in with my folks—she looked fine to me—but when she sauntered out her front door all decked out in tight white jeans and a sinfully soft-looking red sweater that showcased all the curves that had been invading my dreams more and more at night . . . well, I got it and I shot up a prayer of thanks.

“Ready?” I think she caught me drooling and I could’ve sworn she blushed, but the dusk hid it well.

“Yup.” I had the truck already warming up for her, so I opened the door and helped her up. Damn it, she smelled even better than normal. I stifled a groan as she brushed past.

We drove off the ranch and I adjusted the radio to a low hum, finding myself at a loss for words with no idea why. We’d known each other for forever. And, yet, after Joanna’s revelation, Scarlett felt like a stranger to me.

I glanced over at her dainty profile.

A sexy stranger.

I bypassed the normal bars in town and found a small restaurant that had a live band playing. I’d been laying low since I’d been back in Eagle Pass, just trying to recover and get back to my team without any pity or empty platitudes from anyone who used to know me. Hopefully, we wouldn’t run into anybody we knew here.

I helped her out and held my hand at the small of her back as we stepped inside, the scent of beer and sizzling burgers hitting us hard.

The place was decently crowded, but not bad. My eyes automatically scoured the joint for any sign of danger. I stayed close as the hostess led us to a booth in a back corner.

I sat with a view of the bar and the door, my brain already working out an exit strategy if we needed one. I also had my concealed carry permit and my Glock tucked in my coat. Once a Marine, always a Marine, and I’d learned my lesson pinned down in that casino.

“So . . .” I glanced at Scarlett, who was perusing the menu. “What looks good?”

She set it down, her expression suddenly unsure. “I’ll just get a skinny margarita.”

“A . . . what? Is that even a thing?”

She pushed her menu across the table and pointed at the low-calorie section. “Yes, smartass, it’s a thing.”

I frowned up at her. “Why not just have a regular margarita?”

“Because Todd always said—” She slammed her mouth shut, her expression mortified.

I gently pushed the menu back. “Todd always said what?”

She shook her head vehemently. “Nothing. Never mind. That just popped out. I’m sorry.”

“I told you never to apologize.” I glanced up when our waitress approached. “We’ll take two regular margaritas—” I turned back to Scarlett. “Salt?” She shook her head. “On the rocks. No salt. And some chips and salsa, please.”

“Anything else?”

I looked askance at Scarlett, but she shook her head again. “No, thank you.” Once the waitress was gone, I reached over and cupped the back of Scarlett’s clenched hand. “What did Todd say to get you wound up this tight?”

I cursed the fat tears that filled her eyes. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered.

“It does if it still makes you cry.”

“He’s gone. It shouldn’t matter.” She dabbed her tears with her free hand, but let me hold her other one, making me warm in my chest.

“It matters to me. Tell me.”

Deep hazel eyes, so dark with emotion, they looked almost brown, lasered mine. “He said I got fat after I had the boys. He wanted me to lose weight, so he watched what I ate and drank. He weighed me every week, watched the size of my clothes, monitored the food in the house so I wouldn’t cheat. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

I sat back, stunned. “No. I . . .” I dropped my head and caressed the back of her hand with my thumb, unable to help myself, her skin was so soft. “He should never have done those things to you.”

She waited until I looked back up to ask, almost in a dare. “Why not?”

“Because it’s bullshit, Scarlett. Surely, you know that. Surely, you know how beautiful you are. How beautiful you’ve always been. And he was a goddamned idiot if he couldn’t see that.”

I released her hand when the waitress returned with our drinks and chips and let the conversation go. I had some idea of Todd’s treatment after talking to Joanna, but I was getting my first glimpse of it through Scarlett’s eyes, and it was more painful than I cared to admit.

How could my best friend, the guy I’d known all those years and called a brother, been like that and I’d never seen the signs?

More importantly, what was I going to do now that I knew? What could I do?

“So, how’s your shoulder therapy coming along?” she asked after a few sips, obviously ready to let the conversation die. “Is Joanna being a task master?”

“She is, but I appreciate it. It’s getting me in shape quickly so I can get back to my team, hopefully sometime after New Year’s if I’m lucky.”

Her gaze turned thoughtful. “It was a bad injury?”

“It was.”

“You were shot? I never got the details.”

“Yes. It was a shootout with a drug cartel we’ve been tracking. The team is on their tail as we speak.”

“And you’re stuck here. With us.” She must’ve seen the longing on my face.

“It’s not so bad.” I munched a chip.

“Still. I’m sure you’d rather be with your team.”

I shrugged. Being with her wasn’t so bad. Not at all.

She smiled in return and I shifted the conversation to high school memories and got her loosened up and laughing. I don’t even think she noticed that we finished our drinks and I ordered us another round.

Fuck Todd for ever making her feel bad about herself. She was perfect just the way she was, and as the tequila hit my system hard and heavy, I found myself wanting nothing more than to kiss those pretty pink lips.

The band kicked into a slow song that I remembered from our high school days. On instinct, I rose and held out my hand. “Dance with me.”

Wide eyes lifted to meet mine.

I thanked my lucky stars that she didn’t question it or hesitate. Instead, she slid her warm palm into mine and stood, interlacing our fingers to follow me to the dance floor.

I felt her soft intake of breath as I tucked her close to my chest, her nose pressed right into my neck. I didn’t bother with any casual, friendly dance holds. Nope. I pulled her in like we were lovers and held her like I’d been dreaming of for weeks. Probably years. I let the alcohol take me away, not too far, but far enough, as I enjoyed the ripeness of her curves, the sweetness of her scent.

She clutched the back of my jacket in her fist. “Johnny.” The one word whispered across the flesh of my throat, making me ache for all we could have been. All I’d been too frightened to fight for back when I was a young, dumb kid.

But I was a man now.

I wasn’t scared of anything anymore.

I cupped her chin with care and tipped her face up. Our eyes met as the melody floated around us like a blanket. Something shifted between us. Subtle, but momentous.

I searched her gaze for a hint of what she might want from me. What she felt. For a flicker of fear. Of longing. Anything to point me in the right direction and wipe away the last vestiges of confusion I might be feeling about her being my best friend’s wife. He was gone now, she was free, and I was just coming to grips with the fact he’d never deserved her in the first place.

But did I?

She answered that question for me by sliding her hand up to cup the back of my neck as she tilted her head back in a clear invitation to be kissed.

Well, I was not about to let either of us down.

I gripped her hip and bent to brush my mouth across hers oh, so gently. Once. Twice. Three times. Her moan floated to my ears as I licked the seam of her lips with the tip of my tongue. She opened to me willingly, so I slid in and tasted warm woman and cool margarita.

The kiss was brief but electrifying. I sucked in a deep breath and pulled back to rest my forehead against hers.

We’d stopped swaying to the music, lost in our own little bubble of intimacy in the corner of the dance floor.

“What was that?” she whispered, her grip on me never loosening.

I couldn’t help my half smile. “If you have to ask, I didn’t do it right.”

She tipped her head up, her eyes dazed. “You know what I mean, Johnny. What are we doing?”

I brushed a strand of honey hair back from her throat, letting my fingertips linger near her pulse, watching it jump under my touch. “I’m not sure.” I lifted my gaze to hers. “What do you want to do?”

“What do I want? I wasn’t even sure we were friends anymore, much less friends who kissed. My head is spinning, and I don’t think it’s just the margarita.”

I couldn’t help it and I pressed another kiss to her temple. “My head is spinning, too, but probably for totally different reasons.” I drew back to look into her eyes and be honest for the first time in a long time. “I’ve been wanting to do that for I don’t know how long.”

“You have?” She looked adorably confused.

I brushed her lower lip with my thumb and began moving slowly as another song started. “You have no idea.”

“No. I didn’t.” She glanced away toward our table then back, swaying with me. “You sure this isn’t the drinks talking?”

This made me laugh. “I’m sure. I guess I should’ve said something a long time ago, but I’ve been too busy feeling sorry for myself and convincing myself that I couldn’t compete with Todd’s place in your life.”

She stiffened in my arms at my words. “So, what changed? Why now? Why tonight?”

I drew her closer, taking in every detail of the way she melted into me, even when I could tell she wanted to resist. “Nothing. And everything.” I dipped my mouth close to her ear. “I just can’t hold back anymore. It would be a lie and you don’t deserve any more lies.”

Her fingers reflexively tightened and loosened at my waist. “Is this because you feel sorry for me?”

I pulled back, surprised. “Sorry for you? Why would I feel sorry for you?”

“Because of what I told you about Todd.” She searched my eyes. “And the way I reacted earlier. In the kitchen.” It was then that I knew she knew her abuse was out in the open between us. She may not have spoken a word, but she didn’t have to. Her actions spoke loud enough.

“Sweetheart, the last thing I feel is sorry for you.” I tugged her off the dance floor and back to our table, so we were away from the noise and crowds. “I have to admit, I had no idea about Todd until recently, but now that I have an idea of everything he put you and those boys through, all it makes me feel is extremely angry with him and extremely proud of you for being strong enough to survive it.” I cupped her hands in mine. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t save you from it. I’m so sorry, Scarlett.”

Tears began to fall in earnest down her cheeks. “Oh, Johnny. Why couldn’t it have been you?”

“What?” I leaned closer across the table.

She bowed her head as the sobs escaped her and her shoulders shook. “Why couldn’t you have loved me back then? Why couldn’t we have made it work and gotten married and had those babies? Why did I have to live through that hell without you?”

Heat bit the back of my eyes as I realized I’d wondered the same exact thing about a million times since the moment the truth had spilled from Joanna’s lips, and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it now.