Nine

Johnny

I took in a gulp of air. “You have?”

“Yes.”

“And?” I fought to control the urge to kiss her again. Scarlett Rayburn was quickly becoming an addiction and I couldn’t afford to become too attached.

Her fingers toyed with my T-shirt right over my chest. “And I don’t think we can be friends. Not anymore.”

I blinked down at her, unsure how to read her words or her expression. I was trained to handle enemy combatants, but I was at a loss with this one little woman. “Why not?”

Hazel eyes flecked in spun gold lifted to mine and I finally saw the truth in them. She felt the same way I did. “I never expected this in a million years, but I think we’ve jumped way past that, haven’t we?”

I continued to hold her close, refusing to lose this moment. “I guess we have, darlin’. So, just to be clear, you’re saying . . .?”

She rolled her eyes, which was kind of adorable. “Good Lord, Johnny. For a smart guy, you sure can be dense sometimes.” She tugged me closer with a smile. “I’m saying, I vote for the more than friends option.” Her smile fell just a fraction. “For however long it lasts. I’m not expecting anything serious from you. I know you’re leaving soon.”

“Deal.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “And, just so you know, I didn’t expect this either, but, God, am I grateful it happened.”

“Me, too. Though I have to admit I’m a little scared.”

“Of me?” My heart caught in my chest. “You know I’d die before I’d hurt you or those boys, right?”

Wide eyes tipped up to mine. “Intellectually, yes, I know that. Emotionally, I will have to work my way through it. He scarred me deep, Johnny. I’m getting better, day by day, but those scars are still there.”

I dropped my forehead to hers and cradled her jaw in both hands. “Baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Just be patient.”

I squeezed my eyes shut to the burn. “I can do that.”

~ ~

“Something’s different with you this morning.” Joanna eyed me shrewdly as she unloaded her duffel next to me in the living room the next day.

I shrugged and glanced away, hesitant to divulge too much. I’d always kept a low profile, never being one to kiss and tell, and I would never betray Scarlett’s confidence. It was up to her how much she wanted to share or not share with her best friend about our relationship—if you could call it that.

She circled behind me, wasting no time in working my shoulder and making me grimace. “Sore?”

“A little,” I admitted, not bothering to lie.

“Have you been doing your stretches like I told you?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She hummed some sort of disbelief, but my mind was still back on Scarlett. I would’ve loved to have stayed at her place last night and made good on everything she offered. I’m sure if I’d pushed, she might’ve given me everything I’d ever dreamed of and more. But the timing wasn’t right. Instead, we spent some time simply catching up. Just talking and laughing and getting to know each other again. Now that the stress of not knowing where we stood with each other was gone, we quickly eased into something fun and flirty and, I could tell already, altogether dangerous to my heart. Still, I couldn’t have stayed away if you’d have told me she was Shadeek himself in drag. I was a smitten fool and I knew it.

“Okay, what gives?” Joanna cocked her hip and stared down at me like I’d grown a second head.

“What?” I tried to refocus and figure out what exercise she wanted me to do next.

She pointed a finger toward my face, circling the general vicinity of my mouth. “That.”

I wiped my lips. Did I miss some jelly from breakfast? “What is it?”

“That goofy grin you’ve been sporting since I walked in today. What is going on with you, Ray? You’re usually a grumpy son-of-a-gun early in the morning.” She kicked my boot. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s a nice change. Just suspicious. You get laid or . . .?”

“Good morning!” Scarlett chose the exact wrong moment to waltz in the door, gigantic grin plastered to her face just for me as the boys tromped in behind her and made a beeline for my mom in the kitchen since today was donut day. “Hey, Johnny.”

“Hey.”

I’m sure if eyes could speak, ours spouted love sonnets or broke into a sappy song the moment we locked gazes. A million things were said in that one look, but we didn’t need to say a word. We were becoming a we, a unit, a twosome. Something was happening that wasn’t quite in either of our control, and yet, I had a feeling, even if it was, we wouldn’t change a thing.

“Wait. What?” I felt Joanna’s eyes ping back and forth between us. “You two? How?” Her voice was high and a bit screechy by the last word. “When?”

“Last night.”

“I’ve wanted her forever.”

We spoke at the same time and Scarlett’s cheeks stained an adorable shade of pink.

“Are you sure about this, Scarlett?”

My eyes zipped back to Joanna at her soft, heartfelt words. I could tell they weren’t meant as barbs for me, but out of genuine concern for her friend. “I’m not like him,” I grit out. “I’d never hurt her.”

Sad eyes met mine and I could feel Scarlett’s gaze on us both. “Not on purpose, no, but make no mistake—you will hurt her when you leave and go back to your life, Johnny, and I just want to make sure you both know what you’re signing up for before you get so deep into something you can’t get out of it.”

My eyes sought out Scarlett’s. I was relieved by the strength and assuredness I saw there. She was not swayed by Joanna’s words. We were solid. If we were in too deep, we were going to drown together.

~ ~

After Joanna left, I hung around while Scarlett did a little bit of work, then we took the boys outside to burn off some energy. We talked while they played, we ate our meals together, I helped her with their nighttime routine, we talked more, we made out a little on her couch, though it was all I could do to keep from throwing her down on the ground and having my way with her like some kind of animal. Slow, I reminded myself. Easy. She deserved better.

And so became our routine over the next week, the only changes being the kisses getting more heated, my heart getting more invested, and the goodbyes at night getting harder.

It was becoming so easy to forget that I had a whole other life outside of this ranch.

Especially as Christmas rolled around and I got to experience it through the eyes of those boys with Scarlett by my side.

“Johnny!” she squealed when I took them all outside to show them the brand new kid-sized four-wheelers I’d bought for the boys.

“What?” I grinned as they climbed up and began making engine noises. I glanced over. “Too much?”

Her smile was spun sugar. “A little bit.” She turned back to the kids, her face falling a fraction.

My heart sunk. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Is this a bad gift nowadays? I probably should’ve asked you first, but I had one around their age and I just—”

“Yes, you should have asked, but that’s not the problem.”

I blinked down at her. “Then what is?”

“You shouldn’t have bought them something so extravagant. We can’t possibly do anything like this for you.”

“Scarlett.”

When she didn’t look at me again, I shifted into her line of vision and grabbed both of her hands, forcing her to look up and meet my eyes.

“You don’t have to do a thing for me.”

“I know, but—”

“No buts.” I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the boys were good then tugged her closer. “I didn’t do this because I expected anything from you. I did it because I wanted to. Because those boys deserve a nice Christmas. You’ve given me more than enough just by spending time with me, baby. It’s more than I could’ve ever hoped for when I came home all shot up and angry.”

Emotional hazel eyes bored into mine. “Stop talking like that, Johnny Ray, or I might do something foolish like fall in love with you.”

I cupped her jaw in both hands, and before I could do something stupid like beg her to do just that, I dropped my head and kissed her with everything I had.

Her hands clenched my jacket at my waist as her soft moans drifted into my mouth. She tasted like chocolate and sweet wishes and I was suddenly ravenous.

“Ew, gross.”

Scarlett drew back, a laugh puffing from her lips across my cheek at Daniel’s words.

Soft laughter let me know we had an audience, so I pulled away and shot my mother a look. I had no idea if she knew anything about me and Scarlett before this morning, but the look on her face told me she wasn’t stupid. Her smile as she glanced between us and the boys let me know she was more than okay with it, too.

“Can we ride them now?” Nathan asked impatiently, tugging my jacket. “Can we? Please?”

I looked to Scarlett.

She seemed uncertain, but these were her children, so the ball was in her court. She finally relented. “Fine. But listen to Mr. Johnny and do everything he tells you.”

“Yes, ma’am!” they hollered in unison, both of them clambering aboard their four-wheelers.

“And don’t go too fast,” she added, her face clouding with concern. “And wear your helmets.”

“Already ahead of you,” I said, pressing a kiss to her nose.

Her eyes spoke a million things. “Yes. I think you are.”

Somehow, I think she meant so much more than Christmas morning and four-wheelers.