“Everyone has had ample time to think about the future and what you want. It’s time we all go into the den and discuss it.” Nik said tossing the last dish in the dishwasher and starting it.
Like scolded children we shuffled back into the empty den. The women had left to go shopping, giving us time to work through our decision alone. We all took a seat Nik, Tosha, and Kiev on one couch and Damon and myself on the other.
“Has everyone made a decision?” Nik asked giving each of us a long hard stare.
A round of muffled sounds rolled around the room as everyone answered that they had.
“We all know how this goes. There is no split decision. There is no taking one for the team. We all have to agree. We all have to be happy with the decision.” Nik continued. You could feel the weight of the room boring down. It was nearly stifling.
“Who would like to go first?” Nik asked, looking around the room for a volunteer. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as Nik’s gaze settled on me. Fuck. I thought as he continued to stare me down.
It was now or never. I didn’t seem to have much of a choice. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath holding in it I forced myself to be calm. With a slow exhale I spoke. “I don’t want to go back out on the road. I love what we did. I love making music, rocking the crowds, and playing with you guys.” I let my gaze fall on each one of them as I spoke.
“But things have changed. When we were younger and hit the stage you would feel the energy ripping through the room. The crowd stood on their feet cheering. There were mosh pits going, crowd surfing, and the lingering smell of marijuana that contended with the deafening roar of the crowd as they held their lighters in the air screaming for an encore. “I let out a long sign.
“Things have changed. The crowds are glued to their phones, more worried about sharing their location and posting what they are doing than about what is actually going on. There is no glow from lighters; it’s all smartphones in the air as they record the show. Everyone stands like zombies as we play. We have to watch for lawsuits from the random old school mosher who accidently hurts someone. No one smokes cigarettes anymore let alone the hidden joint. The crowds are cloaked in vape clouds and all you can smell is the designated flavor of the month. Maple one week and fruity pebbles the next. It’s not that I think everyone should smoke pot or cigarettes, I’m just illustrating the differences.” I say holding my hands out in front of me in defense.
“I love what we did. I love making music. I just don’t want to go back out on the road. I want to stay home, build on my marriage with Heather and start a family.” I admit with a sad smile. I can’t read any of their faces. I have no idea if they agree or disagree and that leaves my stomach a mess of nerves.
“I’m not going back out there. Dominik has changed my life. I want to be home with him, spend every single day with him. I can’t be the father I want to be. A father my father would be proud of, if I went back out. I’m not opposed to small shows or the occasional appearance, but I’m not leaving my son.” Damon says with determination.
“Cassie and I have spoken about this extensively. She is on the hook for one album and a tour but then she is out. She wants to be with me. She proved to herself that she has what it takes to make it and that’s good enough for her. I’ll support her in whatever decision she makes in the future, but as for me, I’m done. I love helping out at the studio and I want to focus all of my energy there, helping others fulfill their dreams.” Damon finishes and sits back hands behind his neck. The relief is visible on his face at having expressed his position.
Tosha clears his throat drawing all the attention in his direction. “Katinka and I are out. We have one baby and another on the way. Like Damon, I don’t want my kids growing up without me. We’ve seen too much of it while we were on the road. We watched as our friends lives were destroyed by the distance, the lack of trust, and the endless temptation. I can’t go back. Katinka is going to continue writing and I’m happy with my lessons down at the studio. We have enough money to sit back and enjoy the rest of our lives and I’m going to take it. I agree with Damon, if a show comes up or an event, I’ll jump in. But I can’t commit to a tour schedule or anything that will take me away from my family for more than a few days at a time.” Tosha’s arms crossed his chest taking a defensive pose. I know he is expecting a verbal assault. It’s sort of tradition for us to rib him every time he opens his mouth, only this time he’ll get nothing from me.
“I’m out.” Nik sighs heavily. “I spoke with Evie. I enjoy what I’m doing now, pushing new talent. We just had Livi and I can’t see myself going back out there. I’m happy just where I’m at.” With a shrug Nik has bowed out. All eyes move from Nik to Kiev, the last to speak.
Kiev holds his hands out defensively. “Look, I love the road. I love it more than anything. I completely understand where all of you are coming from. You have wives, children, and enjoy doing work at the studio. I completely get it.” A smirk forms on his lips as his eyes scan the four of us.
“You guys know how much I love the road. I’ve seen this decision coming a mile away. Honestly, I made my peace with saying goodbye to you guys a while ago. It was a bitch and I didn’t make my decision lightly.” You could hear the air being sucked out of the room. Kiev had already decided what he was going to do long before a decision was needed.
“I’m staying. I love what I do. I love scoping new talent and helping them get a foothold in the door. I love the road but I love this more. Besides, I’m about to be a dad. I can’t go leaving my woman behind to raise my baby alone. Plus, my parents aren’t getting any younger. I can’t make up for the time I spent away but I can take the time to spend with them now. I don’t want to go back on the road.” The tension in the room began to lift, slowly dissipating as Kiev’s words sank in. He wanted to stay home as well.
“So everyone is in agreement?” Nik asks making sure we were all on the same page. A round of agreements fills the room.
“So who is not good with doing an occasional show or event?” Nik asks further clarifying everyone’s wishes. With a look around, everyone has agreed to do the occasional show. Music will forever be in our blood, pumping through our veins. I couldn’t imagine any of us completely cutting it out of our lives and walking away.
“I’ll let the label know. I’m down for creating new music and releasing it without tours, just taking a chill approach to everything. What do you think?” Nik asked knowing damn well we were all about new music.
“Get out of here old man.” I waved him away with my hand. “Fuck you, Uncle Ike.” Nik winked teasingly. I had already made peace with the nickname so his taunting did nothing but boost my pride.
“You kiss your momma with that mouth?”
“Nah, but I kiss yours.” Nik retorted. I didn’t give him time to say more before I was flying across the couch, tackling him to the floor. I felt the weight of the other guys on my back as they joined in the fray.
“Quit biting.” I screamed as I felt teeth sink into my calf. Kiev’s snickering alerted me to who the biter in the family was. I made a mental not to punch him in the dick when he wasn’t looking.
Tackling Nik just for shits turned into an all-out brawl across the living room. We rolled around on the floor, crashing into everything that crossed our paths. There were no punches thrown, just grappling as we fought for dominance. We rolled around until we had all finally tired out. Arms and legs were sprawled out everywhere across the floor.
“Tink is going to kick your ass.” Tosha huffed, lifting his head to survey the room.
We all sat up enough to take a look at the room. The coffee table had been broken, all of its contents spilled out onto the floor, magazines, and baby toys lay littered around the room. The corner table had been knocked over. A lamp lay on the floor. The room had been thoroughly destroyed.
“Damn Tosha, why’d ya have to go all beast mode just because we wouldn’t let you touch our dicks?” Damon bellowed out indignantly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Tosha’s face scrunched up in confusion.
“No means no. Tosh.” I said in a sing song voice, continuing to bait him. One by one we plotted to blame Tosha for the destruction to the room.
“Fuck you guys. If my wife even thinks for a second that I’m the cause for this mess then I’m going to make all of you pay.” Tosha threatened.
“How the fuck do you think you can do that?” Kiev said rolling his eyes.
“Easy, I have something that would bury every single one of you.” Tosha said in a sing song voice.
“You don’t have shit Tosh.”
“I know that if this room isn’t spotless by the time Tink gets home a video of the four of you singing Justin Bieber songs will hit the net and most certainly go viral.” Tosha smirked, standing up he dusted off his jeans and walked out of the room whistling.
“That bastard. Do you think he’ll do it?” Kiev asked.
I shrugged. “No telling what that evil bastard would do.” Tosha had officially left the pussy zone and was now taking back his balls. He just might earn his man card back after it’s all said and done.