Chapter 8
“Oh
come on. Does this guy actually think he’s fooling anybody?” said Adriane Gurney, one of the directors in Trevor’s company. “We all know he’s just another closet-case Republican.”
“Who?”
Adriane turned her monitor toward Michael Knop. “Bradford Hollingsworth. That congressman. He went to some mining company dinner with this woman and the conservative press has their pictures splattered everywhere.”
“Isn’t Hollingsworth married to a woman?” asked Linda Collins.
“Not the father, the son. He’s the new golden boy of the Republican party.” Adriane turned the monitor toward Linda. “Look at this guy and tell me if you think there’s any chance he’s straight.”
Trevor jerked his gaze away from his own monitor and listened to the conversation at the other end of the table.
“He’s cute,” said Linda. “And very nicely dressed.”
“Yes. He’s very nicely dressed.” Adriane rolled her eyes. “He’s also thirty-seven years old, never been married, and gay as the day is long.”
“You think everyone’s gay,” said Hank Lenox.
“Not everyone. Just women I find attractive.” Adriane shrugged. “What can I say? Wishful thinking.”
“That article describes his date as his soon-to-be fiancée.” Linda pointed at the monitor. “And she’s clearly a woman.”
“Right. And I’m sure he’ll make a lovely first husband for her right up until they catch him on his knees in a public bathroom.”
“Time to stop gossiping and start working, people,” Trevor barked. Hearing that Ford was out on a date didn’t sit well, but listening to people insult the man was unbearable.
“It isn’t gossip, Trevor. I know you don’t like political talk at the office but this person is voting for our rights. Yours and mine.” Adriane’s eyes blazed as she leaned forward. “He’ll be the first to vote against ENDA, claiming we’re all sinners, when in truth—”
“Adriane,” Trevor snapped. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “The man’s been in office for all of four months. As far as I know, the Employment Nondiscrimination Act hasn’t come up to vote during that time. Now, can we please start this meeting?”
Looking surprised at Trevor’s out of character anger, Adriane settled into her chair and mumbled, “Quinton’s not here yet.”
“Again,” whispered Will Herman.
Rubbing his palm over the side of his face, Trevor sighed. “He’ll do his report last. Linda, you start. What’s the status of our telecom projects?”
While Linda spoke, Trevor thought about Ford. He understood Adriane’s point. A man of Ford’s age wasn’t single, at least not in his line of work. Or if he was, it was because something went wrong in his marriage. He wondered if Adriane’s comment about him was her own insight or part of a widespread speculation. Ford had aspirations beyond his current office, and with rumors floating about his sexual orientation, he’d eventually be forced to either come out or prove them wrong by marrying a woman. Thinking of the tender, kindhearted man he knew living in hiding sent a sharp pain through Trevor’s chest. Suddenly, he needed to hear Ford’s voice or, even better, his laugh.
“Does anybody have any questions?” asked Linda, apparently done with her report.
“Who do we have on the Downings project?” The high security cell phone they were developing was still much too expensive to bring to market, which was what his team was trying to fix, but having a prototype in hand would solve one impediment to keeping in closer contact with Ford. The other possible impediment was the man himself, but Trevor wouldn’t know if that was an issue until they had a safe communication method.
As it was, Ford was terrified of his texts and cell phone records being discovered. The possibility wasn’t out of the question, so Trevor hadn’t pushed him to stay in contact after their weekend together, instead saying he’d let him know next time he was in town. Ford had said he’d do the same if he came to New York. But a month had passed with no contact and, once again, Trevor found himself missing Ford to the point of distraction.
“Uh, let me check,” said Linda, as she hit a few keys on her laptop. “Isely’s the lead and Roberts, Franklin, and Cho are on his team.”
“You have Trent Isely leading up our team for a cell phone project?” he said incredulously.
“Yes,” she said hesitantly. “Is that a problem? I needed someone experienced to step in and solve the last few barriers at Downings when Maura Herman went on maternity leave. Isely’s been with the company for five years and has a great track record so I asked Quinton if we could borrow him.”
“Five years working software development,” Trevor pointed out. “He’s a genius at code but he’s never done work on the hardware side.”
Nodding agreeably, Michael said, “He sent me pictures from Burning Man and all I got was part of a finger and fuzzy lights.”
His eyes wide in surprise, Hank said, “Trent Isely went to Burning Man?”
“I know. Completely out of character. I think—”
“Someone make a note to remind me never to have a meeting on a Friday afternoon again. The distraction level in this room is out of control.” Dragging his hand through his hair in frustration, Trevor looked at Linda. “You’ve only been with us for eight months, so I understand how you might not know details about staff outside of your team, but didn’t Quinton mention any of this to you?”
Linda shook her head. “No. I asked if he could spare a senior person to help on our project while Maura was on leave and he said Isely could help. I didn’t think to ask about his limitations. I…” She gulped and looked down, her skin pale.
Though she was smart, well-educated, and extremely hard-working, at twenty-six years old, Linda was the youngest person on his leadership team by nearly a decade. Some things could only be learned through experience, which meant making mistakes. That explained Linda’s error, but it didn’t account for Trent’s failure to speak up and it most certainly didn’t explain why Quinton suggested him for the project.
“We’ll talk more about this after the meeting,” Trevor said, not wanting to embarrass Linda further in front of her colleagues. He’d hired her knowing the associated challenges and he didn’t regret the decision. Given time, patience, and attention, she’d live up to her potential. “Adriane, you’re up.”
Trevor was still at the office at seven that night when his cell phone rang from a newly familiar number. He wasn’t the only person who worked late, so he got up and closed his door as he answered the call.
“I see you got my present,” he said.
“I sure did. Hand delivered by a very persistent courier who refused to have anyone but me sign for it. I already have a phone so I assume you sent this one because it’s not registered to me?”
Leaning back in his chair, Trevor dropped his hand onto his lap and idly rubbed himself through his pants. Just hearing Ford’s voice aroused him, his mind already associating Ford with sex.
“That’s part of it. I know you’re worried about personal communication on a phone you use for work. But if that was all, the gift wouldn’t be very useful because nobody likes to carry two phones, and even if you did, someone might notice and then they’d wonder about it or know to ask for records about it, right?”
Hesitantly, Ford said, “Right.”
“That’s why that particular phone you’re holding is special. You can connect up to a dozen different telephone numbers to it, each with its own password so accessing one shows only the information for that line. You can use multiple carriers, so your records with them only show the calls on their line. It’s encrypted so nobody can get into it unless you let them, and if you need to do that, you can choose a line to use and they’ll never be able to know there are others on there. And it has a built in scrambler so anyone trying to listen in will hear static.”
“I didn’t know that was possible. Any of it.”
“It’s possible but it costs too much to be commercially available yet. That’s what we’re working on. Yours is a prototype.”
“But it works?”
“It works. The number you’re calling me from now isn’t linked to you. Set up a password for it and it’ll be secure. Then we can add your number to the new phone and transfer over your contacts and whatever other information you want and put in a new password. You’ll access the line you want depending on the password you choose.”
“That’s amazing. Thank you.” Ford was quiet for a few beats. “How will we put my current information on this phone?”
“Well—” Trevor took in a deep breath. “I can talk you through it now or…”
“Or?” Ford repeated, his voice lower, huskier.
“If you’d rather have hands-on assistance, we can get together in person.”
“I think we’d better do the second one. Your assistance gets much better results than when I go at it alone.”
Pressing the heel of his hand over his balls, Trevor said, “The jet I chartered to deliver that phone is still in DC. Can you come tonight and stay the weekend?”
“You chartered a plane for a cell phone?”
“I chartered a plane for you.”
“I see.” There was a short pause and then Ford said, “You’re spending an awful lot of money for a bootie call.”
Trying and failing not to let the words upset him, Trevor sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t be doing this if all I wanted was a random piece of…bootie.”
“Then why are you doing it?” Ford asked quietly.
That was the million dollar question. The one Trevor wasn’t ready to answer, and even if he did, it’d be with a response Ford wasn’t ready to hear.
“I’m doing it because I want a very specific bootie,” Trevor said, keeping his tone light.
“Yeah. I can come tonight.”
“Good.” The tightness in Trevor’s stomach loosened. “I’ll text you the airport information at this number.”
“Hi,” Trevor said as he opened his front door. “Fancy meeting you here.” Thrilled to be with Ford again, he smiled broadly. “How was your flight?”
His cheeks red, Ford looked at him from underneath his eyelashes and shuffled inside, the door swinging shut behind him. “Hi. Thanks for inviting me.” He licked his lips and clutched his small, black suitcase in one hand and his jacket in the other. “The flight was good.”
Arching his eyebrows, Trevor said, “Not that shy isn’t an adorable look on you, but we’re past that, aren’t we?” He plucked Ford’s jacket from his hand and hung it by the door, relieved him of his suitcase, and then curled his hand around Ford’s nape and tugged him into a hug. “Let’s try this again,” he mumbled against Ford’s neck as he peppered it with kisses. He straightened and set the bag down. “Hi,” he said softly as he cupped both sides of Ford’s face. “Fancy meeting you here.” He brushed his lips against Ford’s in one gentle kiss after another, until Ford relaxed his muscles, sighed contentedly, and leaned into him. “How was your flight?” He slid the tip of his tongue across the seam of Ford’s lips and then slipped it into Ford’s mouth. The kiss was deeper and longer, but still gentle and unrushed. After several long minutes, Trevor pulled back.
“Hi,” Ford said breathlessly. “Thanks for inviting me.” He curled the sides of his lips up. “The flight was incredible. I didn’t have to go through security or wait at the gate, and they gave me bottled water and offered me candy and snacks. If I’m not careful, you’ll spoil me from flying commercial again. I’m already ruined for hotels after our weekend at the Jefferson.”
“I enjoy spoiling you.” Trevor traced Ford’s jawline with one finger. “You look tired.”
“It’s late.” Ford sighed and rubbed his face against Trevor’s hand. “And I haven’t been sleeping well.” He smiled sheepishly. “Bet you regret going through all the effort to bring me here now. You were hoping for a good time and you get a worn out dud.”
Trevor might not know exactly what he wanted from Ford long term, if anything, but when he’d invited him over, it wasn’t because he was lonely or didn’t have other options. It was because he wanted to be with this kindhearted, sweet-natured man.
Having no interest in hiding that or playing games, he said, “I was hoping for you.” He grasped the handle on Ford’s bag, wrapped his arm around Ford’s shoulders, and herded him through the apartment. “Do you need to eat or take a shower?”
Ford shook his head. “I cleaned up before I went to the airport and I’m not hungry.”
“Okay.” Trevor slid his hand up Ford’s back, squeezed his nape, and then carded his fingers through the back of Ford’s hair. “Then your choices are watching TV or going to bed.”
Opening his mouth as if to answer, Ford instead yawned and then immediately blushed. “Lord, this is embarrassing. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Trevor massaged Ford’s scalp as they walked toward the bedroom. “Let’s go to sleep.”
“Trevor?”
“Mmm hmm?”
“I’m probably not up for a marathon session or acrobatics but I’d like to”—he licked his lips and then bit them—“make love before we go to sleep.”
Though he’d heard all sorts of euphemisms for sex, ranging from crass to silly and everything in between, Trevor had never, in real life, heard someone call it making love. Yet, coming from Ford, the phrasing fit.
“Slow and gentle’s good too,” Trevor said reassuringly. When they got to the bedroom, he set Ford’s bag down next to the wall. “Anything in here we need to unpack tonight?”
“No.” Ford shook his head. “I’m all washed and brushed. I’ll get my stuff out in the morning.”
“Okay.” Already barefoot, Trevor reached over his shoulders and pulled off his shirt before shoving his jeans to the ground and then tossing the clothes in the direction of his hamper. Once naked, he glanced at Ford who stared at him, his mouth open and his eyes hungry. “Let’s get you undressed,” Trevor said.
He grasped the bottom of Ford’s sweater and undershirt and pushed them up his chest and over his head while Ford toed off his shoes and unfastened his pants. Before long, they stood at the foot of Trevor’s bed, gazing at each other in the soft light from the bedside lamp.
“You have a great body,” Trevor said as he skated his fingertips over the ridges on Ford’s chest and belly.
“I exercise a lot.” Ford shook. “Helps clear my mind.”
“Lucky me.” Trevor kissed Ford’s earlobe, jaw, and lips. “Let’s lie down before you fall over.”
They climbed onto the bed, slid under the covers, and laid on their sides, facing each other.
“I saw pictures of you at an event last week.” Trevor did his best to keep his voice free from the unreasonable jealousy he felt about Ford having a date. “You were with someone.”
“Aceve, the mining company. My dad was a speaker at their gala so my entire family went. Kathy Smith, the woman in the pictures, works with my sister Judy. The press turned it into something it wasn’t.”
“I see.” Trevor breathed out a sigh of relief, partially because he didn’t like the idea of Ford dating someone else, even as a ruse, and partially because he didn’t want Ford to live a life in hiding. At least not more than he already did. He brushed Ford’s sandy-colored hair off his forehead. “Other than tired, how have you been?”
“Good. Busy.” Ford flattened his palm over Trevor’s chest and caressed him. “I’ve been learning my way around Congress, being introduced to people by my father and the party, and figuring out what to do about…you know.”
“Coming out?”
Ford nodded.
“Have you made any decisions?”
“I’m going to tell my parents before I decide on anything else.”
“Makes sense.” Mimicking Ford’s movements, Trevor traced Ford’s nipple with his fingertip. “Are you waiting until you’re with them both to do it?”
“I want to do it in person, but when we’re together, it never seems to be the right time.” He breathed out heavily. “Who knows? Maybe it’s never the right time for that type of conversation and I need to get it over with and tell them so they can mourn and hopefully heal.”
Though he winced at Ford’s phrasing, which sounded like he was announcing his death rather than something that wasn’t anyone’s business except his own, Trevor didn’t say anything.
“What?” Ford asked, apparently having noticed his reaction. “You don’t agree? What do you think’s the right time?” Noticed but misconstrued his reaction. “How did you do it?”
“How’d I do what? Come out to my parents?”
“Yeah.” Ford nodded.
“It wasn’t the same for me. Our families are really different.”
Ford stiffened and dropped his hand from Trevor’s chest.
“I didn’t mean it like you think,” Trevor said apologetically. He curled his fingers around Ford’s and rubbed the back of his hand. “I’m not insulting your parents.” Even though he questioned how people who claimed to love their child could make him feel so anxious and terrified of being himself. “I’m just saying our relationships with our parents, or, I guess, what we want from our relationships with our parents isn’t the same.”
His brow furrowed in confusion, Ford said, “What do you mean?”
Trying to find the right words without insulting Ford’s family or his own, Trevor said, “You love your parents and want them to be happy and you’re worried this will upset them.”
“And you don’t love your parents?”
“Of course I do.” Trevor rolled onto his back and rubbed his palms over his eyes. He rarely spoke about his parents, and when he did, it was vague and in passing. But Ford trusted him with something nobody else knew so it was only fair that he open up too. “When you describe your family, it sounds like one of those black and white TV shows. Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best. I get this image of kids sitting around a table eating homemade cookies, but not enough to spoil their dinners.”
“I can’t decide if you’re making fun of my family.”
“I’m not. Believe me, I’m not.” Trevor lowered one of his arms and reached for Ford’s hand, threading their fingers together when he found it. “But my situation wasn’t like that. First off, I didn’t have any siblings, but mostly, my parents have always been focused on work. Whatever office my dad held was the center of their life, not me or each other. It doesn’t bother me now, but when I was coming out at eighteen, I didn’t give two shits what my parents thought.” He laughed humorlessly. “Hell, thinking back on it, I probably wanted them to be upset.”
“Were they?” Ford asked quietly as he gently moved his fingertips over Trevor’s palm.
“No.” Trevor shook his head. “They barely reacted.”
“That’s good, right?”
“Using my forty-two-year-old brain and considering the alternatives, yes. But at the time—” He sighed. “Like I said, I was eighteen and hoping to get a rise out of them.”
“It’s ironic, right?” Ford said. “There you were, having the conversation I need to have and getting the reaction I wish I could get. And here I am, scared to death of talking to my parents because they’ll react like you wished your parents had.”
“Family’s hard.”
They lay quietly for a few minutes, holding hands and gently touching. With over two decades of sexual experience under his belt, Trevor’d had his fair share of men in his bed and regardless of the reason people stayed in his life, they did stay, which meant he had friends he’d known for just as long. Yet, he’d never shared his feelings about his parents with anyone other than Ford and he’d never felt comforted by someone’s presence like he did Ford’s. He raised their joined hands to his mouth and kissed the back of Ford’s.
“I’m sorry you felt ignored as a kid,” Ford said.
“Not ignored exactly. They didn’t ship me off or hire someone else to raise me. I was always with them.” Trevor pressed his lips together and tried to think of the right words. “It’s hard to explain. It was like a workgroup not a family, I guess.”
“Thanks for telling me. It helps.” Ford turned onto his side and rubbed Trevor’s belly with his free hand.
Flipping over to face him, Trevor asked, “How did that story help you? Our situations are completely different.”
“On the surface that’s true,” Ford admitted. “But the core’s the same. Like you said, family’s hard. You didn’t have the childhood you wanted but you love your parents anyway. They’re still in your life. My parents aren’t going to like what I need to tell them, but as long as they love me and stay in my life, I’ll be okay.” Ford searched Trevor’s face. “Right?”
“Right,” Trevor assured him. The same likely wouldn’t hold for the Republican Party, but true to character, Ford was focusing on family before politics. It was one of the things Trevor admired about him. “C’mere.” His chest warm and tight, Trevor rolled over and blanketed Ford’s body with his own. “I need a kiss.”
“Just one?” Ford smiled up at him teasingly.
“We’ll start with one and take it from there.”