Chapter Twelve
The next week went by in a blur. Shane spent every moment he could with Cassie, getting to know her better, falling in love with her a bit more every day.
Holding a bag of sandwiches and cream sodas, he headed up the stairs to her apartment and froze as he saw her on the landing, hugging another man. She clung to him tightly, her face buried in his neck.
Shane saw red and then his heart broke into a million pieces. It was Sandra all over again. He’d fallen in love after so many years and it happened to him again. He wanted to fall to his knees and howl at the unfairness of losing a woman he’d thought cared about him as much as he did her.
“Fuck all if you didn’t totally fool me with your act. I’m as damned as you’re faithless apparently. If you’re going to cheat on me, Cassie, you should do it out of the public eye.”
Cassie froze and looked around the man. And when the man turned Shane saw three things. The look of horror and pain on Cassie’s face; his brother Matt standing in the doorway of her apartment behind them and that the man looked a lot like Cassie. Shit.
He moved quickly toward her but she pulled back into the apartment and shoved the man inside who looked about ready to punch Shane. Of course, judging from the look on Matt’s face, he’d have to stand in line.
“Cassie, I’m...”
“Let me guess, you’re sorry? Shane Chase, this is my brother, Brian. He’s here to meet the man I fell in love with and to tell me that Terry has been sighted.” She tried to slam the door but he put a hand out.
“Cassie, I’m sorry. I thought...when I saw you with another man...it just... I’m sorry. Please. Can’t we talk about it?”
“No, I don’t think we can.” She put a hand on his chest, shoving him back, and slammed the door in his face. He leaned his forehead against the frame and let out a ragged breath.
* * *
“Oh honey, I don’t know what to say.” Matt sat down and watched Cassie as she fought back tears. He was so angry at Shane he held his hands together between his knees to keep from shaking. The man found this woman who loved him so much, who’d never do anything so bad, and he might have just thrown it all away.
“I appreciate you coming over, Matt, but I think my sister needs to be alone right now.” Brian stood and went to the door.
Matt looked back at Cassie. “He loves you, Cassie. He tries to pretend like what Sandra did didn’t hurt him that bad, but it wrecked him. He couldn’t trust anyone for years. I’m not saying he was right, but I want you to try and understand why he jumped to conclusions the way he did.” He went to the door. “We’ll see you tomorrow night at dinner then.”
“Oh no you won’t.”
He sighed. “Cassie, don’t. Please don’t shut him out. You’re good for him and he’s good for you.”
“I can see how good he is for her. Accusing her of being a whore on her doorstep, making her cry. Fabulous.” Brian crossed his arms over his chest.
“It was wrong, I’m not saying it wasn’t. But my brother loves her. He’s a good man and he deserves a second chance. Everybody makes mistakes, Cassie.”
“Yes, and they always tell you they’re sorry after they hurt you. Until they do it again. There’s always an excuse. I’m not her anymore. I won’t go back to being her.”
Matt realized the depth of Shane’s mistake then but didn’t say anything further about it. “I’m next door if you need me. No matter what is going on between you two, I’m your friend. Okay?” He moved to hug her and she let him.
“Thank you, Matt.”
“Please don’t judge my brother too harshly, Brian.” Matt raised his hand in a wave and left, hearing the locks click into place behind him.
Shane sat on the bottom step.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Shane?”
Shane shook his head, Matt saw tears shining in his eyes. “Oh shit. I hurt her so badly. It’s just...when I saw her there it made me think of Sandra. I forgot who she was for a moment. I spoke before I thought and oh, her face.” Shane rested his forehead on his knees and Matt knelt there, touching his brother’s arm.
“I know why you overreacted, Shane. I understand.”
“I may have lost her forever.”
Matt took a deep breath. “I hope not. But. I’m sorry to say this, Shane, but you attacked her and falsely accused her and your shit with Sandra pushed her buttons. Both of your emotional shit hit in the same place at the same time. She’s really upset and her brother is pissed off.”
“And the ex has been seen?”
“She didn’t tell me much. She came home from work and saw me out front. Told me her brother was on the way and that she wanted us all to meet him and for him to meet us. Then she told me the brother had said the ex had been seen. She didn’t know more than that and I came over to her place to watch over her.”
“I need to go to her, work this out.” Shane stood.
“Don’t. Shane, not right now. Her brother is really angry and protective. She’s a mess. Call her, leave a message. Go to her stall tomorrow. Let her know you’re here but don’t rush up on her. Give her some space. She’s scared right now that you’re like her ex. Hurt her and say you’re sorry and hurt her again.”
“Fuck. I’m an idiot.”
Matt hugged his brother. “No you’re not. You’ve been one in the past but you got scared tonight and reacted before thinking. You love her and you hurt her. But you’re not her ex.”
Looking back over his shoulder at her door, Shane let Matt drag him over to his apartment where he called and left her a message.
* * *
“Carly, what is going on, honey?” Brian sat next to her on the couch, brushing a hand over her hair. “I thought this guy was the one.”
Cassie had successfully fought away her tears and now just felt numb. “I thought he was too, Brian.”
“Who’s Sandra?”
She told him the story of Shane’s ex-fiancée who he’d found cheating with his best friend.
“So he saw you with me and he must have flashed back on that. He’s already left you a phone message apologizing. He sounded sincere. What do you think?”
“I’m afraid, Brian. He’s probably the most sincere person I’ve ever met. But I don’t know if I can trust my own perceptions these days and I’m afraid if I take him back that it’ll be like with Terry.”
“I understand. Well, I don’t, but I trust your feelings here. I don’t know this guy well enough to say. Why don’t you give it some time to see how he acts in the coming days? Because I’d hate to see you write him off if he’s the one for you. But I’d hate to see you take him back and end up with another asshole.”
She put her head on his shoulder and sighed. “Tell me about Terry.”
Brian did. He told her about how her ex had been sighted in San Francisco three times before dropping out of sight again. All the more troubling was that one person claimed Terry tried to get her to use her state job access to search information about Cassie.
“We don’t have any reason to think he knows you’ve changed your name or that you’re here. But I think you should be aware at all times. I can’t see that you should move away from Petal. You’re building a life here and that’s important.”
Lying in bed that night, Cassie stared at the ceiling and felt the emptiness next to her in bed. She’d gotten used to Shane’s body there at night. Reaching out and touching him. Knowing she was safe and loved. And that was gone and her heart felt empty. Everything felt empty as she tried to figure out what the hell to do.