Chapter Fifteen
Cassie paused as she picked up the cashmere sweater from the table where it’d been stacked in a pile of folded luxury. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and a chill settled at the base of her spine.
She turned and looked around the area but nothing seemed amiss. “Cassie? Honey, are you all right?”
Shaking off the dread, Cassie turned and found herself looking into the face of Edward Chase.
“Edward, hello.” She kissed his cheek and he gave her a hug.
“You looked upset just then. Is everything okay?” He looked around the area much as she had.
“It just felt like someone was watching me. Probably because I’m here buying Shane’s Christmas present.” She tried to believe the lighthearted laugh she gave but couldn’t.
“Sugar, you should tell Shane. Do you think your ex has found you?”
“I don’t have any reason to think that, Edward. My brother is keeping in regular contact with the investigators and they’re all in contact with me and Shane. He hasn’t surfaced since the summer. Maybe he’s given up.”
Edward looked at the charcoal-colored sweater she held in her hands. “Shane will like that. Can I take you to lunch?”
Cassie really liked Edward Chase. She definitely enjoyed Polly but Edward was quiet and insightful and Cassie treasured their conversations on everything from post modernism to baseball.
“Sure, why don’t I meet you at El Cid in fifteen minutes? I just need to pay for this.”
He kissed her cheek and agreed, heading out while she went to the cashier to pay for the sweater and the shirt she’d found. With the assistance of a local artisan, she’d made Shane a bracelet of pounded copper and silver that she hoped he liked. The sweater and shirt were nice and all, but the bracelet had taken her a lot of time and effort. She’d never done anything like it before and wanted to create something that fit his personality perfectly. But now she had a new skill and had taken to working with silver to create earrings and necklaces that did very well.
Edward was waiting with fresh chips and salsa and waved as she caught sight of him.
After they’d ordered and the food arrived, Edward told her that he’d been looking into how she could go about practicing under her new name with her medical license.
“I don’t want you to think I’m presumptuous but I’m asking around. The state board is going to want to have the ability for your patients to know who you are. This name change project has been around for several years but it’s still hard to get professional licenses in the new name for many women.”
“I appreciate that, Edward. I’ve been thinking on it long and hard. I miss medicine a lot. I know I’ll have to go back to get more training but if I mean to make my life here, I’ll need to figure out what I want to do. I like working at the bookstore and all, but it’s not what I’ll do forever.”
“So you plan on making Petal your home then? Pardon my nosiness but my son loves you very much. The change in him is remarkable. I’d hate to see his heart broken.”
Cassie reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I never thought I’d want to be with anyone else again. I swore the last thing I needed was a big, domineering man and look who I went and fell for. I want to be where Shane is. He gets me. Like no one ever has. He understands me and makes room for my quirks and works around my crazy stuff. I adore him.”
“Good. That’s good to hear. I like you, Cassie. I like you being in my family an awful lot.”
* * *
After lunch, Cassie went home and wrapped the presents and checked to be sure Brian’s flight was on time. He was flying in for the weekend to celebrate Christmas with her and the Chases.
Shane managed to convince her that she and Brian should stay at his house because it was bigger and more comfortable for everyone. In truth she spent seventy percent of her time there anyway, and Brian knew they were a couple and was very happy about that fact.
Even though she had a key, she knocked on Shane’s door and ignored his annoyed look.
“Hi, baby, take these will you?” She thrust the packages at him and bent to pick up a bag of extra clothes she’d packed.
“Darlin’, use your key. You’re not a guest. And let me get that.” He held the door and then went to put the packages under the tree they’d both picked out the weekend before.
“It feels weird just letting myself in.”
He grabbed her and pulled her down onto the couch with him. “Move in here and it won’t feel weird.”
“What?”
“I’d ask you to marry me but I know that would be rushing you. But I want you here with me. I want to wake up with you every morning. I like that my bathroom has your stuff in it. I want to build a life together.”
“I...I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
His face lost a bit of its light and seeing that she’d caused him pain sliced through her. But she was afraid of making another Terry-sized mistake.
She put her hand to his face. “I love you, Shane. But it’s only been five months since I met you.”
“Almost six and I love you too. You’re here or I’m at your place almost every night. What’s the difference?”
“Shane, I don’t want to hurt you but I need the haven of my own place right now.”
Kissing her he nodded. “Okay, fair enough. But you know how I hate it when you treat me like I’m him.”
“This argument is really old, Shane. I don’t want to have it again. I promise you that’s not what I’m doing.”
“Bull. If it hadn’t been for him you’d move in here. How is that not making me pay for his behavior?”
“If it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t be here so that’s a moot point. Stop making this about you! I am not wanting to take this slow because I think you’re Terry. I know you’re not Terry. I’m taking this slow because the last man I lived with nearly killed me after beating the hell out of my body and soul for years. The difference is pretty major, Shane.”
“It feels the same to me.”
She stepped back, out of his embrace. “I’m sorry. All I can do is feel what I feel and tell you the truth of it. I’m being honest and trying my damndest to explain the inexplicable to you. This is about me. If you choose to make it about you, I can’t stop you.”
“Why are you so difficult? Why don’t you let me love you?”
“I do. I’ve given myself to you, heart and body. I’m not giving anyone my soul, Shane. I love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved but that’s not going to stop me from using my common sense. I’m sorry it offends you that I want to wait to move in together. I’m not doing it because I don’t trust you or want to be with you. I’m asking you to respect my feelings and to give me time. But I can’t make you what you aren’t any more than I’ll let you make me into what I’m not. So if you can’t live with that, tell me now so I can walk away. I’m in deep enough with you and your family, if you’re going to break it off, do it now.”
Pacing, he shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m not going to break it off. I love you. Things would be so much easier if you just agreed with everything I said.”
Cassie snorted a laugh and he moved to where she was standing to pull her close. “You’re a very complicated, difficult woman.”
“You’re a very arrogant, difficult man.”
“Perfect match.” He grinned.
“So you say.”
“I do. Wanna get lucky? I’ll let you open a present early.”
“Oh you think I’ll fall for that one twice?”
Laughing, he took her down to the carpet.
* * *
“I can’t believe you gave me rug burn on my ass,” Cassie murmured in Shane’s ear as they had Christmas Eve dinner around a table filled with only about four hundred of his family members.
He chuckled. “It was worth it.”
“For you! I was on the bottom.”
“Next time roll me over, darlin’, I’m quite happy to have you on top.”
She fought off laughter. “As if I’m not nervous enough meeting all these people, I have rug burn.”
“And a bit of beard burn on your inner thighs too, I’d wager.”
The charming devil had the audacity to leer at her and she burst out laughing. Luckily, everyone seemed to find their interaction wonderful and amusing and his grandparents only dropped marriage and great-grandchild hints about every twenty minutes.
“Did you tell Shane about how you felt like you were being watched at the department store earlier?” Edward’s voice was casual but Cassie heard steel there and fought annoyance as her brother and Shane both rounded on her.
“I just felt weird, not necessarily watched. And no, I hadn’t had the chance to tell either my brother or Shane about it. Thanks for that, though.” She rolled her eyes at Edward and Polly sighed and smacked her husband on the arm.
“Cassie, you promised to tell me!” Shane glared at her.
“And me,” Brian echoed.
“Look, as much as I’d love having this conversation here with the family of my boyfriend looking on, I’m not going to. I hadn’t had the chance to tell either one of you. Brian, your plane was late and Shane, you waylaid me when I got to your house. I appreciate your concern but it was nothing. And that’s all I’m going to say right now.”
“Cassie...”
“Shane Edward Chase, let it go. Your daddy made a big enough mistake, don’t compound it. She’ll talk to you about it later.” Polly narrowed her eyes at him and he backed off with an annoyed shrug.
Maggie changed the subject quickly to the trip she and Kyle were taking in the spring to Italy and Cassie sent her a grateful look. Penny was there with Ryan, he’d come to town once or twice since the Grange night and had spent quite a bit of time on the phone and email with her. Cassie approved, she’d never seen Penny so glowing before.
After dessert and a game of cards so cutthroat that Cassie just watched in awe, they made their way back to Shane’s. They’d promised to be back at seven the next morning in exchange for not sleeping over. Cassie felt self-conscious enough, she really didn’t want to sleep with Shane at his parents’ house.
On the way out, Edward took her aside. “I do apologize, honey. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. I just spoke while thinking about it and then realized that you must have felt nervous with all those new people and all. I know it seemed nosy of me, but I care about you like one of my own. I was just concerned. I hope you’re not mad at me.”
She kissed his cheek. “Thank you for explaining. I feel a lot better now. I do appreciate you caring about me, honestly. I’m not angry. It takes a bit of getting used to, being part of your circle, I’m trying.”
“You’re not part of our circle, honey, you’re part of our family. You’re one of us. Even if it was only that Shane loved you we’d think of you that way. But we love you too. You’re an eminently lovable woman. Now go on, Shane’s going to want to hear all the details along with your brother. We’ll see you first thing.”
All she could do was nod. It was a simple thing, the acceptance and love from the Chases, but it meant so much more than she could ever begin to put into words. Swallowing back her tears, she smiled and walked out, garnering hugs and kisses from a whole host of Chases before she reached Shane who waited for her on the porch.
* * *
In the car she got belted in and held up a hand as they pulled away from the curb. “I will tell you everything. I was shopping and felt odd. Like a cold chill. I looked around but there wasn’t a damned thing wrong. Your father bumped right into me, asked if I was all right. I assured him it was and we had lunch. That’s it.”
Shane sighed hard. “All right. But I want you to tell me this stuff right away. Call me from the restaurant.”
“Me too! Damn it, Carly—Cassie, I can’t be here, the only way I can keep from worrying to death over you is your assurance that you’ll tell me what’s going on.”
“Brian, you were on a plane. And Shane, I wasn’t going to call you from the restaurant over a funny feeling. I was with your father and you know why I was a bit busy later on. If it had been important I would have called you immediately. Now it’s Christmas Eve, let’s talk about something else, please.”