Chapter 4
Jenna
He pulls away. My heart pounds, my core has just been woken up, I'm not ready for him to leave. But there's a look in his eyes that says something I'm scared to hear.
"Are you mad at me?" I ask the question even though I hate to even say it out loud. But it's as if he doesn't like the fact that I was a virgin. I always assumed all men love the idea of virgins. Hollywood and every novel I've ever read has told me they do.
"Dammit, Jenna. I didn't mean to take you like this if it was your first time. Jesus fucking Christ, baby." Chris steps forward again, suddenly softening, and pulling me to him -- tightly. Kissing my mouth again, our bodies melting back together. With his tongue entwined with mine, it feels like all the problems in the world could just float away.
When he pulls back he says, "Jenna, we didn't even use a condom. And Luke? Hell, I just took his daughter's virginity."
I shake my head fiercely. "Stepdaughter. Ex-stepdaughter. You know that Luke was never my father. Thank God for that, too. If he …," I close my eyes, so close to saying my deepest truth. A truth I wouldn't be able to take back.
"If he what?"
"Chris, don't make me. I..."
"Jenna, I'm not gonna make you do anything. But if you don't tell me what you're thinking, I can't help."
"I'm Luke's ex-stepdaughter, for starters. But he and my mom didn’t get married because they were in love. It was never like that, you know that. And the truth is ... the way I feel for you..." I shake my head, knowing I am saying too much.
Chris and I may have just given one another our bodies, but that doesn't mean Chris wants to give me his heart. He doesn't need to hear my deepest desires of my desperate longings. He didn't ask for that.
"Do you want Luke the same way you wanted me?"
My eyes widen in surprise, shocked that he is able to read my mind.
"Don't look so surprised, Jenna. I saw your face. Just now outside the barn when Luke came up, I saw the way your body responded him. Maybe I was a fucking fool to think you wanted me. Because, girl, for so long I've wanted you. I feel like a fucking idiot because it wasn't me you wanted to take your virginity, was it?"
I reach out for him, scared he will walk away when he has it all wrong.
"No, Chris. That's not it at all. Yes, part of me wants to sleep with Luke... which, I can't even believe I'm telling you. But another part of me... wants you. So badly. I know. Who do I think I am to want two of the most amazing men at once?"
"At once?" At this, Chris looks firmly at me. "You want two of us at once?"
"I'm sorry. I know I have no business saying this to you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I pull up my panties and button my jean shorts, then quickly tying up my shirt. All while trying to gather my thoughts. "Chris, can you just pretend this never happened because I'm really, really embarrassed right now."
I run out of the barn, confused why I just felt so safe admitting my deepest desires to Chris. I hear him following me, and I turn around, my heart beating fast at the sight of him. He stands in front of the big red barn in his blue jeans, his flannel shirt, and he looks like such a man. A man who just filled me with himself.
"Jenna, I don't want you running away, don't want you scared to speak to me. Let me make this right. Let's try again."
"How? How do you want to try again? We just went from zero to one hundred and missed all the stuff in between. And then I told you things I can't take back...," Tears fill my eyes. I lost my virginity and may have lost Chris's friendship, all in the space of an afternoon. It's too much.
Chris wraps me in his arms, tighter this time. In my ear, he whispers, "We can try again. We can take steps two to ninety-nine if that's what you need. Because baby, I'll do what you want. I've wanted you for years. And your dirty little thoughts aren't going to scare me away. They're only gonna make me want more."
I pull in a sharp breath, his words exciting something deep inside me.
I haven't scared him off.
"So tonight you and I are having dinner in the farmhouse," he tells me. "Understood? It'll be real nice. You can wear something naughty and I'm gonna wash myself up and we're gonna sit down at the table like a man and his woman and we're gonna eat our supper. You and me."
I nod my head, trying to breathe.
"Okay, Chris, okay."
He slaps my ass. "Now, baby, go into that house and wash yourself up nice and good. I want you to get your body good and clean, wash your hair so it's soft, rub lotion all over your tits, all over your legs. Make them nice and smooth because I want to lick you up and down. But first, we're gonna eat our supper."
I smile, raising an eyebrow. "And then, Chris, do you promise to eat me out?"
He adjusts his cock, stepping away. "Scout's honor."