LAUREN

 

Since I had already worn the only nice dress I brought with me twice, I borrowed one of Billie’s for the fashion show. She and Gabe had left hours before everyone else and I had spent the free time flicking through the photos I had taken earlier on a borrowed laptop. I made a note of each of my favourite shots, choosing a selection of both staged and formal, as well as my ‘messy’ personality ones. I would need to do a little touching up later before supplying Hamish with a copy, but I was pleased with what I had seen so far. 

It was arranged that I would meet Jake and Tyler downstairs at exactly seven o’clock and we would travel to the show together. Tyler had arranged for a date to meet him here, leaving Jake to be my escort for the night.

Although Billie and I were close enough in height, my body filled the dress in ways hers didn’t. It was a slim fitting dress that on Billie, no doubt, looked stunning, but on me, it looked as though someone had attempted to wrap a present without enough paper. My breasts spilled over the neckline of the dress and jiggled as I walked down the stairs. The shoes on my feet were too tight and too tall, and I struggled to walk gracefully, scared that one wrong placement of my foot would send me sprawling down the stairs to land in a glorious pile of emerald green material, black heels and wobbling boobs at Tyler’s feet.

I didn’t though. I managed to walk down without one misstep and loop my arm through Jake’s.

“You look stunning,” he said.

“I look like an over-filled sushi roll,” I said under my breath.

A small smile flickered across Jake’s face, but it vanished as Tyler and his date joined us at the bottom of the stairs. Tyler’s eyes moved over me and I felt embarrassment burn up my cheeks. Next to his date, I looked like the frumpy cousin that everyone wished they could leave off the invitation list. Her dress was styled the same as mine, but instead of spilling out in all the wrong places, it draped over her body beautifully, fitting like it was made for her. Which it probably was. No wardrobe selection from her boyfriend’s step-mother for her.

“Lauren, I’d like you to meet Amanda.”

The creature called Amanda smiled and nodded gracefully, inclining her head just slightly in my direction.

“Shall we?” Tyler moved down the hall, Amanda draped on his arm, without even waiting for Jake’s reply.

“Guess that’s our cue,” Jake whispered in my ear.

I groaned, watching the way Amanda’s lack of hips swayed under her dress. Already, I felt so out of place and we hadn’t even arrived.

Jake patted my hand resting in the crook of his arm. “Don’t worry,” he said, noting my discomfort. “If you ever feel out of place, just look next to you.” He laughed loudly and tossed his long hair over his shoulder.

I gave him a feeble smile and didn’t bother telling him that somehow, dressed in a suit with a wild beard, and long tangled hair, he still managed to look as though he belonged on a runway.

The room was dark when we entered, the only light coming from the spotlights that ran down either side of the empty runway. I was grateful for the dim light and felt myself relax, ever so slightly, though it didn’t last long as I felt my stomach fold into the tight material of the dress. The curtain behind the stage fluttered and Billie waved me backstage and over to a nervous Gabe. His eyes bulged when he saw me, and then they fell to my chest.

“Wow,” was all he said.

“Don’t.” I covered my chest with my arms. “I’m self-conscious enough as it is.”

“Why on earth are you self-conscious? You look divine. In fact,” Gabe tugged me towards him, “if we weren’t surrounded by all these people right now…” He kissed my forehead.

“Distance!” Billie pushed Gabe away from me. “You cannot let this stuff rub off. Lights please!” The lights came on and for a moment I was blinded by their intensity. Billie cursed. “I’m going to need makeup here,” she yelled.

With my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I was able to see Gabe in all his glory. His skin shimmered under the light, having been dusted with some sort of gold glitter. His hair had been teased and stood high above his head and he wore nothing but a cropped white fur vest and black leather shorts. Very short shorts. Shorts that barely covered the cheeks of his backside. Strips of the same white fur as his vest, wrapped around his wrists like handcuffs. I swallowed the urge to laugh.

“I cannot believe I am going out there looking like this.” Gabe dropped his head between his hands just as Billie walked over and yanked them away.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Gabe? Watch the makeup.” A makeup artist followed in Billie’s wake and began dusting more gold sparkles on Gabe’s chest, carefully avoiding getting any on the fur.

“Please,” Gabe begged playfully. “Just kill me now. I am never going to hear the end of this from Tyler and Jake.”

“You look good,” I said, trying not to smile too much.

Gabe looked up at me. “Sure,” he said, staring at the smirk that spread across my face.

I leaned close so I could whisper in his ear. “I’ll help you forget later on. We’ll see just how much of that gold dust I can—”

“Gabe?” a surprised voice interrupted. “Gabe, is that really you?”

I turned around to find a girl with a shock of blonde curls staring at Gabe, her mouth slightly ajar.

Gabe stared back at her a moment before splitting into a grin. “Isabel?” he said, walking over and wrapping his arms around her.

“Gabe!” Billie yelled from across the room.

Gabe stood back and held her at arm’s length. “Sorry. I think that might be my final warning. She’ll get the whip out soon. What are you doing here? I thought you were over in the UK?”

Isabel laughed. “Home for the holidays.”

“What are you doing here? Are you in the show?”

“It’s Kaitlyn’s first show. I just came back to wish her well. I can’t believe I ran into you. I thought you were off travelling the world?”

“I was. I’m home now,” he replied without offering a reason why. And then, as if it suddenly dawned on him that I was standing silently by his side, Gabe turned to introduce me.

“Isabel, this is…” He paused, searching for the right word and I was taken back to when I had to introduce him to my parents for the second time and struggled to know how to label us. “This is Lauren,” he finished lamely.

Isabel stuck out her hand and I shook it awkwardly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lauren,” she said confidently. “Are you a friend of Billie’s?”

I looked over to Gabe but his eyes had drifted to the floor. “Sort of,” I replied.

A buzzer sounded and Gabe took a step away. “That’s my signal,” he said. “We’ll catch up later.” And then he was gone.

I walked back through the curtains and found where Jake had reserved a seat for me between him and Tyler’s date. I sunk into the chair just as the announcer welcomed the audience to the show.

“You okay?” Jake nudged me as my eyes glazed over the next model wearing nothing but lace, fur, and leather.

I mustered a smile. “Sure.”

“Are you sure you’re sure? Because you don’t look sure.”

“I’m fine, honestly,” I replied.

The fashion show took a small break and Tyler’s date excused herself, walking down the aisle in front of me. I spotted the girl Gabe had been so thrilled to see sitting further down the row. “Who is that?” I asked Jake.

Jake scanned the crowd until he locked on the girl. His eyes clouded over and he shook his head.

Tyler leaned across the now empty seat beside me. “That, is Isabel Flintoff, the reason Clark is no longer with us.”

“Tyler,” Jake growled a warning.

“She asked,” Tyler said, resting back in his seat.

“Wasn’t it a car accident?” I asked, confused. Gabe had told me that his brother fell asleep at the wheel while driving back to the city later one night after getting into a horrible argument with his father.

“It was,” Jake quickly assured me, but I couldn’t help the twist in my gut at the way he glared at Tyler. He was clearly warning him to stop speaking.

Tyler scoffed.

“Are you referring to the argument Clark had with your father before he took off?” I asked.

Tyler lifted his brows at Jake as though challenging him. “Is that what my kid brother told you?”

“Yes,” I replied through gritted teeth. “That’s what your kid brother told me.”

Tyler’s date moved back down the aisle, excusing herself to the people who had to move their legs in order to make way for her.

“Interesting,” Tyler mused.

“Are you saying that’s not what happened?”

“That’s not what he’s saying at all,” Jake said.

“I suggest you talk to your boyfriend again if you want to know exactly who Isabel is,” Tyler said just as the curtains were pulled open to reveal a golden Gabe in all his fur-covered glory. Down the aisle from me, Isabel raised her fingers to her lips and whistled loudly. Gabe smiled at her and walked down the runway, oozing confidence with each step, grinning and waving to the crowd in a purely un-model-like way. He posed at the end, hand running through his hair, the muscles in his arms, chest and stomach rippling with a golden glow. I looked back at Isabel who was looking on adoringly, hands clasped under her chin, eyelashes batting and I was hit with a wave of jealousy like I had never experienced before. It wasn’t in the way she looked at him. I had seen many girls look at Gabe in a similar way. It was because of the way his eyes slid to her and not to me as he walked off the stage.

With the show over, nibbles appeared on trays floating through the crowd, resting in the hands of invisible waiters. 

Tyler’s date complained each time a tray floated past. “How can this possibly be considered finger food?” she asked, looking down her nose at the small savoury pancakes topped with cream cheese and salmon. “The only way these could be defined as bite-sized were if you were a horse.”

The tray was just about out of my reach, but I stretched out and grabbed one of the pancakes, shoving the entire thing into my mouth. Tyler watched me with an amused grin as I struggled to chew without it escaping.

Jake grabbed another pancake and followed suit, easily devouring it. “Just call me Phar Lap.”

“Who’s Phar Lap?” Tyler’s date asked. I’m sure I had been told her name at some stage, but I couldn’t be bothered recalling it.

“You ready?” Gabe appeared at my side, scrubbed clean of gold powder and dressed in normal clothes again.

I swallowed the rest of my mouthful and planted a kiss on his cheek. I could have sworn he tensed a little. “You were great out there.”

“Yep.” Gabe laughed, though it was a little forced. “Such talent displayed in walking.”

“Hey,” Tyler’s date protested, confirming her career choice. “There is more to it than simply walking.”

Gabe shook his head. “I know, sorry. I’ve just got a wicked headache.” He looked over at Jake. “Would we be able to just go back now?”

Jake nodded at Tyler. “Tyler drove.”

“Hamish and Billie are staying for the after party, but I don’t see why we have to. Sure, let’s go home,” Tyler said. “I’m sure you have a lot on your mind right now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gabe snapped.

Tyler looked over to me, and then let his eyes drift to where Isabel was talking with a group of girls. She looked over and waved to Gabe.

“Nothing,” Tyler said. “Nothing at all.”

I sat squished between Jake and Gabe in the backseat of the car. Gabe’s head rested against the window, staring blankly out at the street lights as they flashed by, their reflection caught by the odd drop of rain that plastered itself against the glass.

“You okay?” I asked quietly. He had barely said a word since we left the venue.

Gabe smiled sadly. “Headache,” was all he said.

I was surprised when Tyler walked his date to her car without inviting her in. Gabe stalked inside, heading straight for the liquor cabinet and grabbed an unopened bottle of whiskey. He slumped onto the couch, the dark stain from his spray tan gone. Unscrewing the cap, he lifted the bottle to his mouth.

“Help yourself,” he said, motioning to the bar.

“Allow me.” Tyler moved gracefully behind the bar and poured a drink. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it tasted great and I swallowed hungrily. I needed something to dull the twisting in my gut. Isabel meant something to Gabe. Meant enough to plummet him into this dark mood that had overtaken him. I watched as he brought the bottle to his mouth time and time again, barely swallowing as he poured the liquid down his throat.

“Easy there,” Tyler walked over and attempted to ease the bottle out of his hand.

“Fuck off,” Gabe growled.

“I just think you need to slow down a little,” Tyler said.

Gabe pulled himself off the couch and walked over to the sliding door. “I need some air.”

I moved to follow but Jake pulled me back. “I’ll go,” he said, flashing a warning look Tyler’s way.

The two brothers sat outside on the balcony, Jake sipping on his beer, and Gabe hungrily chugging on the bottle of whiskey as though it were nothing more than juice. I envisioned the rest of his night spent bent over the toilet bowl. Already, over a quarter of the bottle was gone.

“You need to tell me what happened,” I said, looking over at Tyler who had loosened his tie and removed his jacket. He sat on the couch, arms spread out over the back and one ankle resting on the knee of his other leg.

“I’m under very specific instructions from Jake that I must wait and let you talk to Gabe.”

“Gabe isn’t exactly in the mood for talking at the moment.”

Tyler leaned forward. “What has he told you?”

I sighed, recalling the brief conversation we had not all that long ago. “He said that Clark had travelled back from the city and that your father started on at him about what he wanted to do with his life. They had this huge argument and Clark decided to travel back, upset and tired.”

Tyler nodded. He leaned back against the couch again and ran his hand through his hair. I was momentarily distracted, imagining that it was my hand running through his dark hair, before scolding myself and returning to reality.

“That’s a version of the truth.”

“But not the full version?”

Tyler shook his head. “Gabe should really be the one to tell you.”

I looked out the window, my eyes focusing past my own reflection and falling to where Gabe leaned over the railing, pouring a thin dribble of dark liquid onto the ground. It hurt a little knowing that I had opened up to Gabe, yet he was still holding secrets from me. “I need to know,” I said firmly.

“Very well,” Tyler said. “But you’ve got to tell him that you were the one who asked.”

“I will,” I promised.

“When Clark returned from the city, he did have an argument with Dad. There was a lot of yelling. There was a lot of slamming doors. What Clark didn’t count on was walking up to Gabe’s room and finding his girlfriend in bed with him.”

“Isabel,” I said under my breath.

“Isabel,” Tyler confirmed.

“It’s not like Gabe did it just to get to Clark. They were close. I think Isabel and Gabe really felt something for each other. Gabe just kind of fell to pieces after that. He blamed himself for Clark’s death, though he took it out on Dad. I think tonight was the first time he and Isabel have spoken since Clark’s funeral.”

I didn’t know what to say. My heart ached for Gabe at the same time as being annoyed by his behaviour. No wonder it had thrown him. I remember Drew telling me of the darkness that had descended over Gabe after his brother’s death. Darkness that haunted him still.

“Should we stop him drinking so much?” I asked.

“Sometimes it’s just best to stand aside and let him drown his misery.” Tyler looked out the window. “Jake will look after him. I’ll look after him. You should just go to bed. Things will be better in the morning.”

No sooner were the words out of Tyler’s mouth when the door opened and Gabe stumbled back in. Behind him, Jake looked to Tyler and jerked his head in my direction questioningly.

“She knows,” Tyler confirmed.

“Who knows what?” Gabe asked, his voice too loud, his movements too clumsy. Holding his bottle in the air and stumbling across the carpet, Gabe yelled, “Who knows how to party?” He tipped the bottle so the liquid spilled from the opening and poured into his mouth, most of it hitting its target, the rest splattering onto his face or falling to the floor. “Lauren,” he slurred, walking over and flopping onto the couch as Jake excused himself. “Lauren,” he said again, shakily putting the bottle on the floor and moving closer to me. He held his mouth close to my face and the scent of alcohol repelled me. “I’m drunk, Lauren,” he attempted to whisper.

“That you are,” I said, pushing him away.

Gabe frowned and pouted. “Hey, I want a kiss.” He moved across the couch, smacking his lips together.

“You’re drunk.” I pushed myself into the corner of the couch, trying to get away from the smell. Tyler watched our interaction.

“That I am.” Gabe mimicked my previous words. He moved so he was leaning over me, pushing his mouth into my neck and groping my breast through the tight material of Billie’s dress. Over his back, my eyes met Tyler’s. They were burning and his jaw tightened.

“Come on, Lauren,” Gabe urged. “I want to fuck you.”

“Gabe!” I exclaimed, attempting to push him off, but his body lay heavily on me, dulled from alcohol. “Gabe, get off me. This isn’t the place.”

Gabe mashed his lips against mine and slipped the strap of the dress off my shoulder, his mouth diving to the over spilling flesh of my breast. I pushed harder against him and Gabe lifted his head. “What? Is it because Tyler is here? You don’t mind watching, do you, Ty? In fact, I bet you like it.” Gabe’s tongue dipped between the crease of my breasts and he moaned with lazy desire.

“Not now,” I said, pushing forcefully. “Leave me alone.”

Suddenly, Tyler leapt from his seat and grabbed Gabe, shoving him against the wall and pressing his forearm over Gabe’s throat. “She said to leave her alone,” Tyler growled.

“Are we turning you on, brother?” Gabe laughed.

Tyler applied more pressure to his throat and Gabe’s laughter turned to a choking splutter. “She asked you to leave her alone. I suggest you leave her alone, little brother.” Tyler released the pressure to Gabe’s throat but still held him against the wall, pushing against his shoulder to hold him in place.

Gabe coughed, drawing in deep breaths once Tyler released him. He leaned over, heaving in gasps of air before straightening himself and throwing a punch at Tyler. But because Gabe was so drunk, Tyler was able to avoid the blow by simply moving his head to the side. Gabe swung again and Tyler moved out of the way.

“Gabe,” I pleaded walking over to him. I hated seeing him like this. Hated that seeing Isabel again had brought out this darkness.

Tyler held his arm out, shielding me from getting any closer.

“You are protecting her from me?” Gabe spluttered. “You? You arrogant piece of shit. Let me tell you exactly what this piece of shit is like, Lauren.”

“Lauren, go to bed,” Tyler instructed.

“He keeps women on a rotation schedule, just so none of them get too attached. He takes them to various functions, eye-candy on his arm, then takes them back to his apartment to fuck them senseless before sending them on their merry way. That’s right, isn’t it, brother dearest? That’s what you do. Use and abuse. All because they don’t tick all the boxes on your stupid lists. I am nothing like you. Nothing.”

Tyler was fuming. “At least I’ve never slept with a girl who was going out with my brother.”

Gabe’s eyes snapped to Tyler, all drunkenness draining away with that one movement. And then he lunged at Tyler, wrapping his arms around his waist and knocking him to the ground. Gabe rose over his brother, one hand clenched in a fist, but he never got to bring it down as Tyler’s hand enclosed around his. The two brothers glared at each other, both waiting for someone to make the next move.

I was frozen to the spot, unsure what to do. Should I interfere? Should I try to pull Gabe off? Or should I just let them sort it out themselves? Gabe was clearly drunk and not thinking straight, but Tyler was sober and hopefully had the situation under control.

Just as Gabe’s fist wavered in Tyler’s grasp, Jake ran back into the room and pulled Gabe off. “What the fuck?” Jake pushed Gabe away.

Gabe stumbled over to the wall, hit it and then slid down, holding his head in his hands as giant tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Gabe?” I asked. He clawed across the floor towards me and curled into a heap at my feet.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

Jake stretched out his hand to help Tyler to his feet, but Tyler jerked away from the offered help. “This is who you’re dating,” he said to me as he glared down at Gabe. “This is who he is.”