LAUREN

 

The rest of the evening was spent sipping on wine and listening to Billie talk about her fashion show. Tyler and his father talked over in one corner while Gabe and Jake chatted in the other. Billie occasionally pestered Jake, asking about his duties in the army, but every time it was mentioned, he ducked his head and said he couldn’t really talk about it. No one knew what he did, where he was stationed, but judging from the pain that flickered across his hooded eyes each time it was mentioned, we all knew it was something he hadn’t recovered from.

I fell into bed exhausted and was a little relieved to hear Gabe’s gentle snores, brought on by the quantity of alcohol he had consumed.

My mind raced back to the sensations that had travelled through me at Tyler’s touch, and I felt guilty that another man had distracted me. But I reasoned with myself that it was okay to notice another handsome man, and if the Thornton men were anything, they were handsome. Jake was wild and untamed, Gabe was gorgeous and had a smile like no other and Tyler was dark and dangerous. Each had their appeal. It would have been almost strange if I hadn’t been slightly attracted to them. Besides, it was Gabe who lay beside me. Gabe who I loved. My beautiful, sweet, Adonis of a man. I inched across the bed and Gabe sleepily snuggled into me, draping his arm over my shoulder and pulling me close.

  Billie insisted we stay for the New Year’s Eve party, and I spent the next few days exploring the tourist-driven town with Gabe. My original attraction to Tyler faded, and I began to wonder if it was merely a wave of hormones that somehow flooded my system at the surprise of being surrounded by such beautiful humans. He had barely spoken to me since that night, and even Jake, although polite and respectful, kept his distance. It was as though there was an unspoken rule between the brothers. I was Gabe’s and Gabe’s alone. Nothing more than a considered and courteous friendship was required.

Billie, on the other hand, never shut up. She dragged me shopping and took me to her studio to show me the strips of fur and frills of lace she called clothes.

The New Year’s party was filled with well-dressed strangers. Since I had only brought a couple of dresses with me, and one was only a little cotton thing, I felt a little underdressed wearing the zipped up black number again, but it was my only option. Everything else was too casual. Music tinkered in the background, Billie floated around the house, slipping from room to room, exclaiming over this woman’s dress and laughing over that man’s jokes. She was the perfect hostess as I cowered in the corner with Gabe who sat on the couch, leg jiggling. It reminded me a lot of the cocktail parties I used to attend with Derek, only there was far more money represented at this one. I hid in the corner during those too.

“I hate parties like these,” Gabe said, scowling at the peals of fake laughter pouring from Billie. Jake leaned against the wall behind him, beer bottle in hand instead of the long-stemmed wine glasses and crystal whiskey glasses in the hands of the other guests. He looked out of place among the well-groomed guest list.

“It’s almost worse than war,” he said. He meant it as a joke, but the tightness in his throat betrayed him.

Earlier, I had walked in on Jake and his father arguing over his long hair. It was longer, and if I was being honest, more beautiful than mine. His father hated it.

“Real men don’t have long hair,” he had told his son.

Jake hadn’t said anything and continued to stare at the newspaper.

“What is it with you and Gabe and your insistence on embarrassing me?”

Jake, who had been eating a slice of toast, merely lifted it to his mouth again and crunched loudly.

“I’m going to book you into my barber,” Hamish had announced.

“No,” Jake said, his mouth filled with toast.

“No?” his father replied.

Jake looked up. “No,” he repeated.

It was only then that Hamish Thornton noticed me and excused himself gruffly.

“Sorry about him,” Jake had said to me. “Sometimes he forgets he doesn’t rule the world.”

Jake’s compromise had been to tie his hair back into a ponytail.

“Got a pretty good grip on that bottle there, Jake.” Gabe nodded to where Jake’s fingers were white against the green bottle.

“Can’t say this is exactly my scene anymore.” His eyes were fixed where Tyler was seamlessly integrating himself into the party.

Tyler smiled easily. He flirted with the women and joked with the men. He was a perfect replica of his father and nothing like his younger brothers.

“Doesn’t his perfection just make you want to retch?” Gabe asked Jake as he took a sip of whiskey. “Look at them fawning over him. I think some of the men even have boners.”

Jake smiled. “Tyler’s alright.”

“Whatever,” Gabe muttered. “Hey,” he said looking up at Jake. “Want to get out of here and escape down to the basement like old times?”

“Like old times?” Jake repeated. “You were fifteen when I left, little brother. There were no old times.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Fine. Like last time then?”

Jake looked over to where Tyler and Hamish were cornered by a group of men who were nodding seriously, and then over to where Billie was busy playing barmaid, pretending to spin bottles in the air. He winced as one smashed to the ground and a squeal of laughter poured from Billie.

“She coming?” Jake nodded to me.

“She?” I repeated. “I have a name.”

“Sorry,” Jake apologised. “Is Lauren coming?”

“Oh, Lauren’s definitely coming. I’m not leaving her here alone with these vultures. We’ll get back and find her overly tanned or something, Billie’s orange having rubbed off on her.”

Jake snorted. “Alright then. Why not?”

Gabe got to his feet. “I’ll go grab something out of the jeep and meet you two down there. Try not to make it obvious we’re leaving or Dad will have a fit.”

I tried to imagine the poised and controlled Mr Thornton having a fit. It wasn’t possible.

“What’s he talking about?” I asked Jake as we made our way through the crowd of people. Every now and again someone would stop and exclaim over him, claiming they hardly recognised him under all that hair. Jake would nod awkwardly and take a step closer to me as if I could protect him from their over-exuberant onslaught. One man in particular gripped Jake’s arm, his fingers digging into the flesh of his forearm. He leaned in close, and whatever it was he asked Jake, it caused a storm to cross over his eyes. Jake peeled the man’s fingers off his arm and I saw the man wince.

“Excuse me,” I said to the man, looping my arm through Jake’s, “but I’ve promised to introduce him to someone I know. Perhaps he can catch up with you later.”

“Thanks,” Jake whispered when we walked away, swiping a bottle of whiskey from the table. He took me back out to the garage and opened a trap door I hadn’t noticed before.

“What did he ask you?” I asked.

Jake’s eyes clouded over again. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He held the trap door open expectantly. “Are you going down?”

“Down there?” I asked, peering into the darkness.

“It’s the basement.”

“I’ll follow you.”

That brought a smile to Jake’s lips and he began to walk down the steep steps. After a few seconds, a light switched on. “It’s okay now,” Jake called out, his voice coloured with amusement.

I walked down the stairs cautiously. The room below was plain and simple, decorated only with a few couches and beanbags, a TV on the wall and an expensive looking sound system attached to it. The only windows were where the walls met the ceiling, just narrow strips illuminated by the street lights.

  Gabe pounded down the steps behind me, waving a plastic bag of tightly wound green leaves. “Found it,” he said to Jake.

“Is that weed?” I asked, pulling Gabe aside.

“Have you seen the guy?” Gabe said, nodding to his brother. “He’s like a caged animal. He is in serious need of relaxation.”

“What about your dad? What about all the people upstairs?”

Gabe grinned. “I haven’t got enough for them all.”

“Gabe,” I scolded.

“Lauren,” he mimicked and kissed my forehead. “It’s fine. Jake and I have done this before. It’s our brother bonding time, right Jake?”

“Whatever you say,” Jake replied.

I looked over to where Jake was pacing the floor, his eyes glancing at the small windows. Gabe was right. He was in need of relaxation. The party Billie had planned was meant as somewhat of a welcome home bash for Jake, but anyone could have told from his posture that he would have preferred to be anywhere but trapped in a house with all those people.

Gabe turned on the TV and flicked through the channels until he landed on a music station. ‘Hits of the sixties and seventies’ was splashed across the bottom of the screen. Gabe started moving his shoulder seductively in time to the music as he rolled the joint, licking along the strip of paper to seal it. The song changed and Gabe sang along with the lyrics. He handed the cigarette to his brother.

“How on earth do you know this song?” Jake said. “It’s years before your time.”

“It’s years before yours too,” Gabe replied, still crooning along to the lyrics.

Jake took a drag on the smoke, coughing as he exhaled. “Shit,” he said pounding his chest. “It’s been a while.” He held it out to me but I shook my head.

“Not with a house full of people upstairs, not to mention your father and your tightly wound brother.” I shook my head again. “I don’t think so.”

Gabe wrapped his arms around my waist and swayed in time to the music, singing in my ear. “Come on, Lauren. You know you want to.”

Gabe took the outstretched cigarette to his lips and inhaled, blowing smoke over my face, and then wiggled it before me. “No one will come down here, I promise,” he said, nuzzling into my neck.

I took the offering from Gabe, and he released the hand wrapped around my waist to walk over and crack open the windows.

“You can blame my mother for my tastes in music,” Gabe said to Jake, as Jake flopped his large frame down on a bean bag, a slow smile crossing his face.

Jake’s eyes moved over to where I relented and sucked enough to send me into a coughing fit.

“That’a girl.” Jake’s grin widened. “Fuck,” he said as he put his hands behind his head and sunk further into the bean bag. “I forgot how good this feels.” He closed his eyes, though his head moved to the beat of the music.

Still not having recovered from my coughing fit, I pounded my fist against my chest as Gabe returned and pulled me onto the couch beside him. “This lot’s a little different from the last stuff you tried.” He took the cigarette out of my hand and sucked on the base. “Best to go a little easy.”

Gabe stretched back on the couch and I lay down, resting my head in his lap and staring at the hair framing his beautiful face. Absently, he reached down and stroked away the strands of hair that were covering my face. I reached up and pulled him down to me, kissing his lips hungrily.

The music played in the background as we lay in silence, passing the cigarette from person to person. It was nice to see Jake smile.

“What was it like over there?” Gabe asked.

Jake kept his eyes closed. “I can’t really talk about it.”

“Nothing?” Gabe asked. “Not even where you were?”

Jake sucked at the last of the cigarette and blew the smoke into the air in a steady stream. “Nothing.”

“So there’s this whole chunk of your life that you can’t share with us?”

Jake nodded. “It was hell. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Silence fell over us again until the next song came on. Gabe pulled me to my feet and started dancing and singing. “Why don’t they still make music like this?” he yelled as Jake turned up the volume.

“You sound like such an old man,” Jake said, joining us and forming a circle. I was surprised at how well he could move. Throwing my head back, I laughed at the both of them as they danced towards me.

“Man,” Jake exclaimed. “I need my guitar.”

“You play?” I asked.

“Does he play?” Gabe snorted and shook his head. “He can play the fuck out of the guitar.”

“Go get it for me. It’s in my room,” Jake said.

Gabe shook his head vehemently. “I’m wasted. There is no way I’m leaving this room. How do you feel about sleeping on the couch?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ll go get the guitar,” I piped up.

They both looked at me stunned.

“What?” I said. “I should be able to sneak up to your room without anyone noticing, shouldn’t I?”

“Have you met Billie?” Gabe asked.

“TV music it is,” I replied.

We were so intent on enjoying the music, swaying to the songs that came on that we didn’t hear the trapdoor open, and we didn’t notice Tyler was in the room until he turned down the volume of the music. We froze, Gabe’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind, his mouth at my neck.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” he asked angrily.

I straightened, shrugging Gabe off, and looked at Tyler’s stern expression, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed.

I burst out with laughter. “My god, you’re so serious!”

“We’re just chilling for a while,” Jake drawled, grinning at his older brother. “It’s no major.”

“No major? Dad is upstairs with some of the men interested in investing in the casino and you idiots are down here stoned off your faces.”

“Oops.” Gabe held his hand over his mouth, feigning regret.

“Oops?” Tyler stepped towards Gabe. “That’s all you have to say? Oops? Grow up, Gabe. The whole lot of you are acting childish. Jake, I can understand because he’s just returned from a nightmare we can’t even imagine and I don’t blame him for needing to let off a little steam, and Gabe, well… no surprises there, but you, Lauren—”

“Me?” I said, pointing to my chest.

“Yes, you,” he growled angrily. “I actually thought you might be good for my little brother, but here you are, wasting your life away by hanging around with teenagers. That stuff kills your brain cells.”

“I’m not a teenager,” Jake replied.

Tyler turned on his heels and walked back up the steps, slamming the trap door behind him.

Gabe twisted around. “See?” he said to me. “Absolute arrogant arsehole.”

Jake rolled his head to the side. “Mum,” he said.

Gabe dropped his head. “Yeah.” He sighed. “I forgot about that. He’s still an arrogant arsehole though.”

“Mum?” I asked Gabe.

He pulled me close, lowering his voice, but I could tell from the way Jake watched us, he could still hear every word said. “Ty and Jake’s mum had a bit of a problem with pills, and Tyler didn’t like it. Still doesn’t change the fact that he’s an arsehole though.”

Jake stretched out on the bean bag, resting his hands behind his head and yawning as he spoke. “He doesn’t seem to remember that it’s still her.” He closed his eyes. “Her demons just speak a little louder than his.”

“I hope she’s okay,” I said awkwardly, not sure how to respond.

Jake shrugged, eyes still closed. “She’s been off them for years now, not that he would know that.”

* * *

At some stage during the night, I woke, my back uncomfortable on the couch, my head resting on Gabe’s lap, and ravenously hungry. I tried shaking Gabe awake, but he merely adjusted his sleeping position and continued to breathe deeply, the odd snore escaping from his lips.

I crept up the stairs, marvelled at the length of the hallway, and snuck into the kitchen, surprised when I turned on the light to find Tyler standing at the window, staring out at the lights that dotted the edge of the lake, whiskey glass in hand.

His eyes roamed over me, stained with what I could only assume was repulsion. I felt compelled to apologise under his glare.

“Look, about earlier,” I started, but Tyler interrupted me.

“Tell me something,” he said, his words slightly slurred. He was drunk. “Why are you with him?”

“What do you mean?” I stammered out.

“He’s a lot younger than you,” he said bluntly. “It’s noticeable. You’re a woman and he is a boy. And he works in a coffee shop with, as far as I can tell, no ambition to improve himself.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I also work in that coffee shop. Does that also mean I have no ambition?”

“That depends.” Tyler walked over to the table and pulled out a chair, sitting down and resting his feet on the spotless white surface. He was so handsome, so flawless. Too handsome, too flawless, even if in his current state he was a little less put together than earlier. His hair was slightly tousled and his shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his tanned and muscled chest. “Do you plan on always working at the coffee shop?”

“So what if I do?”

“But do you?”

I hung my head a little, annoyed to admit defeat. “No. I would like to get back into photography.”

“Right,” Tyler said, swirling the contents of his glass. “Well then, it’s different.”

“What have you got against coffee shops? I know it can’t be the coffee itself, I’ve seen you drinking it.”

Tyler took a sip of whiskey. “Nothing.”

“Then what’s wrong with working at a coffee shop? You’ve got a rather elitist viewpoint.”

Tyler placed his glass on the table, looking up at me with an irritated expression. “Enough about the coffee shop. It’s got nothing to do with the shop. It’s the fact that Gable has no plans.”

“Yes he does,” I replied.

Tyler just lifted a single eyebrow. It reminded me of Gabe.

I lifted my chin a little higher. “Architecture.”

Tyler smiled, though it wasn’t a warm one. It was one meant to placate me as though I were a child. “And for how long has my little brother wanted to be an architect?”

“As long as I’ve known him.”

“Which is how long, exactly?”

I swallowed uncomfortably. “Three months.” It sounded like such a small amount of time when spoken aloud.

“And Gable told you he wants to be an architect?”

“Yes, Gabe did.”

“And what exactly is he doing to ensure that happens? Is he studying? Enrolled in classes?”

“No. But he’s taking a course next year.” I thought for a moment and corrected myself. “This year.” Midnight had passed without any celebration.

“Right.” Tyler said it in such a way that made me want to slap him. “Because he hasn’t said that before.” He looked up, the amusement gone from his expression. “So Gabe is twenty-one, works in a coffee shop with no desire to change or improve himself, and that’s who you choose to be with?”

I didn’t know why Tyler was firing all these questions at me. Maybe he really did think I would be good for Gabe and was disappointed to find the state I was in down in the basement. Maybe he really did care for his brother. I struggled to think of an answer. “He makes me feel good,” I said finally.

Tyler stood up from his chair and walked over. He leaned in close and my heart started beating erratically. “He makes you feel good?  Is it his smile that makes you feel good?” An exact replica of Gabe’s carefree smile passed over Tyler’s lips before he let it fall and leaned in closer, his breath brushing against my ear. “Is it his smooth skin?” Tyler drew his thumb over the stubble dusting his chin. A cold smirk covered his face. “Or is it the way he fucks?” Tyler laughed at my look of horror. “What? No come back? Well, at least Gabe’s doing the family name proud in one area of his life. If we Thornton men are good at anything, it’s how to fuck.”

I took a step back, trying to make my escape.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “Have I shocked your innocent small town sensibilities? Was my language too elitist?” He straightened and I couldn’t help but notice his bare and chiselled chest that showed through the exposed strip of his unbuttoned shirt. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said, moving away from me. “No doubt I’ve had one too many of these.” He swirled his almost empty glass in the air. “I will behave tomorrow. I just don’t understand how the little upstart did it.”

“Did what?” I asked, even though I should have just turned and left.

“You,” Tyler replied, his dark eyes burning into mine. He emptied the last drops of whiskey from the glass.

“Be careful,” I warned as he walked past. “That stuff kills your brain cells.”

Tyler didn’t turn back, only threw over his shoulder, “The leftovers are in the fridge. No doubt you are hungry. Goodnight.”

And then he was gone.