I sighed as I dressed up in my room. I pulled on a pair of slacks and a white button-down shirt, then a tie and a belt. I pulled on a pair of socks and dress shoes. I already had a watch picked out, left on my nightstand with my phone, and I picked it up, checking the time before fastening it on my wrist.

“I’m going to be late,” I muttered, then let out another sigh. “Fuck. I don’t want to go.”

It was the first time I’d admitted it out loud, even if only to myself. But I had to remind myself that I technically still had work to do. I’d been neglecting it, and this was too important to just blow off.

Fully dressed, I picked up my phone and put it in my pocket, then pulled on a coat over my shirt, the same navy blue as the slacks.

“At least there’s time for breakfast,” I mused to myself, leaving my room.

I was several minutes late, but I’d already sent word to the kitchen to let them know I’d be having breakfast in the dining room, so to just set a place for me. I walked slowly down the stairs, and when I made it to the dining room, I found Lexi already there, seated but not eating.

“Why aren’t you eating?” I asked.

She must have been lost in thought, because I surprised her when I suddenly spoke, and she jumped, then whirled around to look at me.

“H-hey,” she stuttered slightly, a blush forming on her cheeks. “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d show up for breakfast.”

I’d told her about the trip already, yesterday, and she wasn’t happy with me because of it. She was, of course, part of the reason why I didn’t want to go. I hadn't had time to explain to her anything about the trip, but I felt a little hopeful she would listen to me now. The last thing I wanted was to leave with her feeling upset at me.

I pulled out my chair and sat down and the entire time my eyes didn’t leave hers.

“I wanted to eat with you one last time before I go,” I said honestly. “I’m sorry I have to leave.”

She looked down, her shoulders slumped. “It’s work,” she said dully. “I guess I can say I understand. I was starting to wonder if you even had a job.”

The joke fell flat, and there was an awkward moment between us. Conscious of time ticking away, I served some food on my plate and poured myself a mug of coffee. I didn’t usually take it with sugar, preferring my coffee black, but I would be on a plane for several hours, so I added some sugar before taking a sip. I grimaced at how sweet it tasted, but drank it down anyway.

“Please eat,” I said to Lexi when she didn’t make a move to do the same. She met my eyes for a second, then she sighed. But I was glad to see her get some food for herself.

She served herself quietly. I took a peek at my watch, then continued to eat. I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut. It was out of character for me, to back down from anything, unless it came to my family. But, I was quickly coming to realize Lexi was one of the people I was willing to make compromises for. I hadn't known her that long, and yet I felt so close to her…

I looked up, coming out of my daydreams when she cleared her throat. She was obviously to get my attention, and she had it instantly. She didn’t look up, and for a moment I thought she was really just clearing her throat and not trying to catch my attention. But then, she spoke.

“Can I ask? Where you’re going?”

“I’m going to Germany,” I said quietly. “It’s an important business deal for my company, and it’s not something I can delegate. I have to be there personally, or I won’t get the deal.”

She nodded slowly, and I noted how she was mostly just poking her food instead of eating. I wanted to tell her that I’d changed my mind, that I wouldn’t be going after all. I knew it would make her feel better. Even more, it would make my son feel better.

Edward had come back with Grace, just in time for this deal to become a problem. I’d told him that I was leaving last night, at the same time I’d told Lexi. But the reason I hadn't been able to follow her to explain was because I had to spend the night consoling my son. I couldn’t take him on the trip with me, like I had several times before, because I didn’t know just how long the trip would be, and I wouldn’t have much time for him anyway. I wanted to see him before I left, too, but I knew he would just cling to me if he was awake, and it would be hard for the both of us to say goodbye.

“How long?” she asked again, pulling me out of a daydream.

“I can't be sure,” I said honestly. “It’s a pretty big deal, and there’ll be representatives from other companies all over the world looking to secure the bid. Because there will be so much competition, it’s not going to be so cut and dried. There’ll probably be several layers to the considerations, and as long as I survive each one of them to the end… I could be there for weeks,” I admitted. “I can’t say for sure if it’ll hit the month mark, but it’ll probably come close.”

Lexi’s lips were flattened, and there was a furrow in her brow that showed her displeasure. I hated it even more than she did. I didn’t want to leave her and my son, but I couldn’t just take them both either.

“Why does it have to take so long?” she muttered.

I gave a sad smile, not that she saw because she still refused to look at me. Please look at me, I begged internally.

“I’m sorry, Lexi.”

She snorted, glancing up at me before her eyes quickly fell back down. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I know this is something important for your work, or you wouldn’t have to leave in the first place.”

Lexi took a bite of her food and chewed slowly, then swallowed and bit her lip, finally raising her head to properly look at me again. I gave a small smile in response, but she didn’t mirror it.

“Can you…” she started, sounding hesitant, only to let her voice trail off. She shrunk back a bit before her back straightened out again and a determined expression crossed her face. I waited for her to say what she wanted to say. “Do you think it could be possible… for me to come with you?”

She was looking down again by the time she managed to ask the question, and just as well that she didn’t see the expression that was on my face. I waited a minute, wishing internally, so very badly, that I could give her the reply that she wanted to hear. But I sighed, and her shoulders slumped as she knew it before I even clarified.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

She looked up at me, her eyes sad. “Why, though? I wouldn’t mind a trip to Germany, and I wouldn’t mind if I had to be by myself either because I know you’ll be busy. But… can't I just go with you?”

I shook my head slowly. “I would love to. I’d love to take Edward along, too, but I can’t take him, and I thought it would be a good time for the two of you to get to know each other. You’re going to be around for a while, and I would like it if the two of you went along.”

“Why can't you take him with you?” she asked.

I sighed and looked down. “Remember back when I mentioned his trauma to you, after his mom’s death? Partially because of it, he can't be away from home for too long. The week at my mom’s was pushing it a bit, but he survived there because he was with his grandmother. I won’t have time to spend with him in Germany, most of it will be spent in and out of meetings. He would miss me if I left, but it would be ultimately easier for him if he stayed home.”

Lexi pouted. “I thought you didn’t want me to spend too much time with him anyway. You didn’t want any attachments forming, remember?”

I frowned, wondering if I’d ever told her that, though I had thought it plenty of times. Or maybe, she was just smart.

“There is that,” I said slowly. “But I can't help that you’re going to be around for a while; he’s obviously going to run into you at some point within that time. This house is big, but it’s not that big. I’d rather you meet him properly, and he gets used to you on his own than try to hide him from you, because then he won’t trust you. It’s asking a lot, but can I please leave my son in your care?”

I waited with my breath held, and she took so long to respond, I thought her answer must be no. But then she sighed and tried to smile at me.

“Fine,” she said, agreeing. “But can I have a favor?”

“Anything,” I said quickly without thinking.

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

Her request had my eyebrows jumping up, and my body heating up a little. She would sleep in my bed; I just wouldn’t be there with her. It would be a nice thought to take with me to Germany.

“Of course you can,” I said simply. “In fact, sleep in my bed every night.”

She gave me a genuine smile, just for that, and I found myself hoping that this trip went by fast.