I wasn’t sure how long I spent in that library after Ryan left me alone. I read over the contract, line by line. Considering how big a thing this was, I couldn’t afford to miss any fine print.

It was all pretty straightforward, though. The extra pages just explained the rules of the contract. My eyes blew wide open when I saw the amount I would be getting in compensation. I’d never dreamed I could see that many zeros anywhere outside of a mathematics textbook.

“Don’t be swayed, Lexi,” I warned myself, forcing my eyes to keep reading. “You will not sign your life away, even for that much money.”

It was tempting, though. With it, not only could I get to do whatever I wanted in college, but I could get myself a place to stay, and I could last some months after school without getting a job.

It would be so perfect if it weren’t for the stipulation that the child had to be conceived through natural means.

That might not be so bad…

I gasped at the thought that entered my mind and slapped myself lightly on the cheek.

“You will not think like that!” I hissed to myself.

But… I had to admit Ryan was attractive. Hell, the man was gorgeous! I was still wondering why I hadn't come across his wife, or even a picture of her, yet. Surely, she would be some beautiful woman worthy of the big screen. So I didn’t get what he meant by the ‘perfect candidate.’ My life was so damn flawed. Unless he just found it convenient that I had nowhere to go and had few choices available to me.

Whatever the reason, this was a job, and I was going to look at it objectively. Or I would try anyway.

He and I were going to sleep together to conceive a child. There were alarms ringing in my head at that thought, but not that kind of alarm. I was a virgin; I’d never been with a guy that way before, but I’d thought of sex like most healthy teenagers. Ryan’s maturity and looks were a lot in his favor. If it didn't feel so much like I was prostituting myself, a part of me would have been tempted to jump into it for that alone.

The most important rule was, once I had the child, I could not take him or her away from Ryan. It wasn’t expressly stated, but I figured, after the deed was done and I’d looked after the child for the first three months of life, I was free to go. That part bothered me just a little bit. Yes, my job was to play surrogate. But it would still be hard to have my first baby and just give him, or her, away.

For a lot of reasons, the biggest one being the payout, it was a good deal. For about as many reasons, I felt uneasy.

“Do I take the deal, or do I tell him no deal,” I muttered to myself.

I’d finished reading the contract, and I placed it on top of the desk, though I continued to stare at it. Like, if I stared long enough, the correct answer would just jump out at me. After sitting and thinking a while, I still had nothing. I sighed and looked away.

Confused and unable to make a decision, I decided a walk might do me good.

“I wonder how big this house is,” I mused to myself as I walked out of the library. Now that I’d seen the section with Ryan’s tucked away office, I realized there were more shelves beyond it that I hadn't noticed before.

On my first day, I’d had a bit of a tour, courtesy of Grace. I decided to go around while trying to look for her. She was the only other person, besides Ryan, that I’d even talked to. Only, it wasn’t so easy to find her. The house was so large I felt like a curious child exploring.

I did come across a few maids, but none of them were Grace. Still, I tried to talk to them, with poor results.

“Hello?” I said to the first. But she just smiled at me, nodded a little, and walked right past me without pausing, carrying some towels.

“Excuse me?” I said to the second one, who I found taking care of some flower arrangements inside the house. She glanced at me, probably assuming I wanted her gone, and with a nodding-bow, she walked out. I just watched her go with my jaw dropped, but no words coming out of my mouth.

What the fuck?

The third I found dusting in one of the rooms. I wasn’t sure how many rooms I’d been through by then because I wasn’t keeping count. There were a lot, though. I watched her for a moment before attempting to approach her. She glanced at me when I first walked in but didn’t stop working.

“Um, is there anything I can help with?” I asked hesitantly. “Like, maybe some chores that no one has attended to yet?”

She looked up and smiled at me, shook her head, then went back to her job.

After that, I just stopped bothering them. Either they were not used to interacting with the people of the house, or they just didn’t like me, or want to speak to me. I went a bit further, but I didn’t find Grace, and I couldn’t help a sigh of disappointment.

I did come across something else, though, that was probably better. Family photos. None with the wife in them, but plenty with Ryan and his son from when he was a baby, and plenty of other people I didn’t recognize.

“He is handsome,” I muttered to myself. “And he looks so much better when he smiles. Like, smiles…”

I’d seen him smile, of course, but every time it was more like a polite quirk of the lips than a true smile. I could see it in the photos, though. He was beaming down as he held a newborn Edward in his arms, all bundled up in soft blankets. In another photo, father and son were smiling together, Ryan lifting Edward high up over his head. Plenty of other photos of the two of them just playing together caught on camera. Loving memories… the kind I never had.

He wasn’t as serious then as he is now. I even found a recent photo, where both of them were beaming at the camera. Or maybe, the person behind it? Thinking about it, Ryan wasn’t the only one that was different. I hadn't been around Edward that much, but he didn’t look like the same happy child as in those pictures.

I wondered what had happened to them, and if I was allowed to know.

Regardless, he wants me to carry a child for him. Maybe, it’s for the both of them?

With a heavy heart, I retraced my steps back the way I’d come, then made my way to my room. I sighed as I closed the door behind me, then fell on top of the bed, squirming until I was lying on my back, pushed up against the pillows.

“What’s the right answer, here?” I asked out loud. I didn’t expect an answer… but it would have been helpful if I had someone else to ask for this shit.

Thinking that I sat up. I had my phone on the nightstand where it had stayed since I’d arrived here. I still hadn't contacted any of my old friends, and I thought about it again for probably the nth time. Who could I call to ask about this? Maybe Elise…? But I sighed and dropped that thought. I couldn’t call her, or even any of the others. This wasn’t exactly a normal situation, and I had already signed an NDA. I didn’t need to make Ryan mad, and something told me that he would find out if I mentioned the current situation to anyone, even if I didn’t mention any names and tried to make it all hypothetical.

“There isn’t much of choice, is there?” I muttered, frowning at my phone. “He obviously needs this… his son, too. The money is pretty great. I’d be an idiot not to pick this. A win-win, for all three of us…”

That was the thought I had in mind as I got off my bed, leaving my phone back on the nightstand. I walked out of the room and made my way back to the library. I headed for the desk where I’d left the contract and pen.

I picked up the contract but hesitated. I’d made my decision, and I knew Ryan was right. He couldn’t just pick anyone he’d run into. I didn’t know why he’d picked me, and I suddenly regretted not asking. I realized I was pretty much ready to sign my life away, at least for the next several months, probably a year. It was a big step to take, even bigger than my decision to leave my mom and home when I had no plans.

Well. You’re on a roll with the impulsive decisions, so why not?

This decision wasn’t so impulsive, though. I’d thought it through, the pros and the cons.

I picked up the pen and turned the pages of the contract to where the dotted line was. I signed my name without a second’s hesitation. I’d expected for my heart to feel heavy, but instead, I only felt relief.