CHAPTER SIX

I find myself falling into something of a routine with Justin, and though our interactions remain sexually charged, I find myself enjoying them more and more. I begin to feel less like a prisoner and more like a willing participant. If Justin senses how I feel about the situation, he has given no indication. However, he has been somewhat kinder in his interactions with me. Our little scenes that we play out are on a near daily basis now, and I realize just how much lust lay within me that had gone unsatisfied for so long. He’s tested my boundaries, but after the first encounter, he seemed to think it better that I have some sort of safe word. I’m not entirely sure of the implications, but I can’t help but wonder if it means he cares about my wellbeing. That would be entirely unlike him, but… he has changed so much over the previous days. Every time that we have an encounter, the pain sends me into a dizzying sense of unawareness, and I am brought down by his comforting touches and soothing touches once he has had his way. Though he often uses toys to stimulate me, I’ve been craving the touch of his actual hands. When I relay the thought, he considers me with a curiously raised brow.

“I’m starting to think you’re getting comfortable here.” He says with a quirk of his lips. I try to swallow my embarrassment, but I can’t halt the reddening of my cheeks. He simply smiles, brushing my hair away from my eyes. “Remember the safe word.” He says simply, and we walk the path to the room I have come to know as the Black Room. I feel a sense of giddiness rising up within me, tempered only by the thought that I’m allowing myself to get too wrapped up in the man. We both know the day will come that I’ll be sent back into Don Avery’s clutches. I don’t dare qualify the aching feeling I have for the scarred man, the twisting sensation in my heart whenever I think about leaving. I know that all I can do is try to enjoy what time we have together.

I slip into the bed centered in the black room, and he ties my hands. My legs are left free, and my toes curl in excitement at the special treatment I’m receiving. He watches me with nothing short of tenderness in his gaze, stripping of his clothes methodically. I watch as more and more of his body is exposed, more than I’ve seen at any one given time. Though I have seen his manhood before, I had never truly grasped how large it was for his stature. It bobs at upright attention, and I’m eager to get my hands on it, only to realize my hands are tied. However, that does little to dissuade him, and he climbs on top of me, spreading my thighs to consider my inner folds. He strokes a finger along me, and I’m somewhat embarrassed by how wet I am already am. There is little preamble before he presses the head of his girth to my entrance, rubbing my slit up and down. He gathers the moisture on his tip, dipping it just barely inside before pulling out. He wraps his hands around my throat, and the lightheadedness that accompanies this usual act begins to sweep over me. I feel him enter me, and I have never felt so fulfilled in my life. His length reaches all the right places. As I fade into the space inside my mind, I feel him begin to rock against me. His thumb caresses the hollow of my throat as he squeezes, and I’m swept away.

When we’ve had our fill of each other, some time later, he draws away from me. I can feel the bruises forming on my neck, but I pride myself on not having to use the safe word. He seemed to sense when I needed relief, and had accommodated my needs rather easily. The happy feeling settled in my chest is chilled as I realize what I have just done. All of our encounters prior had been initiated by the man before me. Though I had been willing, I had never suggested that we spend time together intimately. It makes no sense, I feel as if this is a deeper betrayal to my family name, my family itself, than allowing him to have his way with me. The feeling brewing in my chest is perhaps the deepest betrayal of all. He does not seem to sense my unease, and as he shifts to lay beside me, I look him in the eyes. He meets my gaze curiously, and I hesitate, deeply considering my words before speaking.

“Why did you do it?” I inquire softly, and he looks initially confused.

“Because you asked me to? I thought you enjoyed it.” He retorts, looking uncertain of himself.

“No. Not that. Why did you… kill my family. Why did you take me? What did any of us ever do to you? What have we done to deserve this fate?” I implore, and the mood immediately shifts. Where he had slowly become more open with me, I can feel him closing off as he edges away and sits up with his legs thrown off the side of the bed.

“I… Jodie, you have understand. I’ve never pretended to be a good guy. You know as well as I that I couldn’t pull off an act like that. But… you have to understand. The Gillett family is all I’ve known, since I was little more than a kid. When you’re that devoted to a family… you gotta do what the family asks of you.” He says softly, and my eyes widen at how earnest and honest he’s being. He meets my gaze once more, and his eyes are filled with sorrow. “Don Avery told me what to do, so… I did it.” He mutters. In spite of all he has done, in spite of being the one to actually kill my family, I realize with a start that if my father had asked the same of me, I would have done it. When you’re part of a family like Justin and I are, you do what you’re told. You don’t question the Don, you do what is in the best interest of your family. Family is everything in our world. I hesitate, wishing my hands were unbound so I could reach out to him.

“Justin… sir, I… I understand.” I confess. He turns wide eyes towards me, and I quickly amend my statement. “I understand. It doesn’t take the hurt away, but I understand why you did it. I understand that you’re truly not the one to blame. It’s Don Avery who ruined my life. You’re the only thing keeping it together now. So… “ I trail off, tears gathering in my eyes. “Just know that I don’t blame you. I won’t blame you when the Don forces you to give me up.” I mutter. He shifts back into the bed, unstrapping my wrists and curling his arms protectively around me. His body is tense, and I almost wonder if he will miss me as much as I’ll miss him, once all is said and done. That would be ridiculous, though.