Chapter 4

Hadrien didn’t give me another chance to spring a surprise on him, and given the fact my initial attempt to seduce my escape out of him had failed, I doubted I’d have gotten away with it, anyway. That didn’t stop him from teasing me, however, nor did it stop his insinuations that eventually, at some point, I would come to him willingly.

The thought, of course, was absurd. Why would I sleep with him, simply because he had touched me, and my body had reacted? What did he expect of me, to be a frigid woman, with no feelings, just because I’d never slept with a man before? And what, was I supposed to just… fall into his arms because he happened to do something right? Of course not. Never.

That being said…

Still I couldn’t deny that… there was a curiosity. One that would, under no circumstances, be indulged, but a curiosity nonetheless, for the feeling of it. I would remember the fire that lit in me the moment his fingers had touched me, entered me, and then I would remember his words about how that was where my value had lain for my father, the place between my legs, untouched and therefore worth something.

In the days that followed the incident, remaining locked up in Hadrien’s spare room when he had ‘work’ to do, those were the things that were on my mind. My father loved me, didn’t he? More than just for what I could give my husband. Certainly that love wouldn’t run dry if I’d not remained… untouched. It wasn’t the only thing that made me a worthy wife for the man he had chosen – the man Hadrien had killed. I was a good person. I was kind. I was thoughtful.

Loyal.

And yet despite all of that, I most hours left alone, I couldn’t stop my hand from wondering as much as my mind did, and I couldn’t stop the dissatisfaction in knowing that bringing myself pleasure didn’t feel as good as Hadrien’s hands, and that perhaps Hadrien was right about my father.

“So, what did you see in that Russian guy, anyway?”

We were seated at the dinner table. I had begun to lose track of the days, knowing only that the daily routine had begun to set in, and it had been a few weeks since Hadrien had taken me. Hadrien would wake, make breakfast. He would allow me about the house, mostly because he kept everything bolted up, but I had already accepted that running wasn’t the smartest idea, and I wasn’t going to attempt another… round of seduction. He often spent a lot of time in his office, where he would take calls. I had listened in, sometimes, and picked up the fact that he was a hired gun, yes, but seemed to be in a charge of a larger group of people, and coordinated them. It made me wonder how on earth he had been the one to take a faulty hit, but that was less my concern at the moment. He had yet to do anything about getting me back to my father, which I had thought was his intention in the first place, with keeping me alive.

I looked over to him from my plate. I had already eaten more than him, but he was a shockingly good cook, and the steak, pasta, and vegetables on my plate were more appealing than trying to ignore the fact that he was, once more, shirtless, and for some reason that made me ache between my legs.

Deliberately, I took another bite before I answered him.

“What does that matter to you?”

He shrugged – a common gesture for him, I was finding – and sat back in his chair.

“It doesn’t really, I was just curious. Didn’t seem like your type.”

I raised my brow. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Well I mean did you even pick the guy out?” he asked. “I can’t imagine so.”

“I thought you already drew your own conclusions about my fiancé and how I got him,” I said, setting my fork down. “Given the way you’ve treated me I don’t think I feel like being made fun of anymore about it.” I went to stand, intent on leaving him. I might have had my own private handling of Hadrien, but face-to-face I refused to deal with such abuse. He waved me down, though, shaking his head.

“Look,” he started. “I’m an asshole. I get that. I popped your man full of holes and then I put my dirty, lecherous hands all over you. I get it, you don’t like me.” He grinned, as if this didn’t bother him a bit. “But I am curious. Yeah, I drew my own conclusions, but honestly I have no idea how a girl like you went along with all that. Give me some, ah, perspective, yeah?”

My look, certainly, was skeptical, but he appeared to at least… genuinely want to get to know about what he’d asked. I eyed him suspiciously, nevertheless, but sat back down.

“My father,” I said cordially, “chose Viktor. He and Vladimir have been friends for a while. When Vlad moved back to Russia some years back, they kept in touch. When Vlad came back, my father welcomed him with open arms. Given I was twenty-one already, and Viktor was twenty-five, they decided it was a good time to settle their children down, and being good friends, it was natural that we would get married.”

“Just like that?” Hadrien questioned.

“Just like that.”

He was surprisingly quiet for a moment, and I thought that the conversation was over. It was not.

“And what did you think about that?”

“What did I think about it?”

“Yeah,” he said. “What, did your father just pop up to your room one day, say ‘hey, Corella, you’re going to marry this guy,’ and you were just like ‘okay, daddy, whatever you say.’”

I frowned at his mocking tone, and steeled myself, imagining where this conversation was heading.

“My father let me know that he was considering arranging my marriage, and when he and Vladimir talked it over, everything was set. I was honored to be given the chance to marry Viktor, and carry on my family’s legacy –”

“You mean you were honored to be a bargaining chip.”

My hands slammed down on the table.

“Again with this bargaining chip thing! What does it even matter to you? As the only child of my father, it is my duty to my father and my Don to carry on the legacy as he sees fit! What is wrong with that?!”

“Did you ever even want to marry Viktor?”

“I don’t have to—”

“Princess, did you ever want to marry Viktor. If you and Vicky had just met on the street like normal people one day, and had gotten to know each other, would you have wanted to marry him anyway?”

“Why does it matter—”

He held his hand up, and stood.

“That’s all the answer I need. It’s okay, Princess. Plenty of people do things they don’t want to for family.”

“Why do you assume that I didn’t want to do it?” I asked after a moment, as calmly as I could, feeling… like there was truth in his words I refused to admit to him. He raised a brow at me.

“Because if you couldn’t answer with a very enthusiastic yes right off the bat, then obviously you’re just trying to hold on to the fact it’s what you were supposed to do, not what you wanted to do.” He paused. “Did you love him? Even a little?”

I glanced away.

“Why did you have to kill him?” I asked, deciding to avoid the question and deflect the round of interrogation onto him. “Why?”

“I told you. Botched job. Dumb mistake. One I’m attempting to fix.”

“And yet you haven’t asked me once for my father’s number so you can call him and arrange to have me taken home.”

It was the first time that I think I had actually thrown Hadrien off. He looked taken off guard from the question, and his joking, care-free manner slid away quickly. I thought maybe I’d angered him, but he merely stared at me, and shook his head.

“Finish eating up, Princess. Don’t want that food to go to waste.”

Hadrien left, and his departure put a stagnant halt to our conversation. I could have let him have his solitude, but… no.

I don’t know what propelled me from my chair. It was kinetic energy and frustration, anger, confusion. I followed him, and grabbed him by his arm to yank him back.

“Why?” I demanded as he turned his surprised face towards me. “You claim that you want to use my life in order to secure your own freedom for your mistake, but you haven’t once legitimately tried to get me back to my father. And then you go on and on about me being a bargaining chip, as if you keeping me here is some sort of favor that you’re doing for me. What is your deal?”

It was like static, between us. Before I could react, he had his hands in my hair, and his lips were on mine once more.

I was taken off guard, but like the other night, I didn’t stop him. He backed me against the table, shoved the plates out of the way, and laid me back. He pressed solidly between my legs.

“You want the truth, Princess?” he breathed against my mouth. “I’m trying to figure out if sending you back packing to your daddy is worth losing the opportunity to have you.”

My face reddened.

“You want me around for sex?”

“I want you around for whatever you wanna give me. If it’s sex, I’m not gonna say no unless you do.”

And then he was kissing me again, and I had no idea what to think about that, aside from the fact that it wasn’t fair that I had never been allowed to indulge in a man touching me the way Hadrien did. But this… this was insane! It had to be.

“You want to kidnap me,” I accused weakly against his mouth, my nails digging into his shoulders, neither pulling him closer, nor pushing him away.

“Pretty sure you want it, too.”

“Liar.”

He pulled away, then, just a little. He looked me in the eyes with those brilliant green ones of his. I flushed further as he slid his hand between my legs. I had on a borrowed pair of basketball shorts, and they already barely stayed up as it was. They were big enough that he was able to slip his hand into one of the legs, right between my thighs were my sex was already soaked.

“Am I?” He kept my gaze as he began to stroke between my folds, teasing outside my entrance but never slipping fully inside. Instead he spread around the wetness down there, and flicked his fingers lightly over the pleasurable bud of nerves down there. I gasped at the feeling.

“Truth be told, as soon as I looked at you, I knew I couldn’t kill you,” he said. “Those wide eyes… I’ve killed a lot of people, but I couldn’t kill you. I made up the bit about taking you back to your father. You have to know that I can’t do that. Come on Princess, you’ve gotta be smarter than that.”

He continued to touch me, and I looked up at him, eyes glazed, knowing that he was right. If he had ever planned on taking me to my father, he would have made arrangements long before now. But he wanted me more than he wanted to risk my father and Vladimir’s wraths.

And yet… I wasn’t angry.

“You knew it would come to this.”

“I wanted it to come to this. And admit it, Princess. You want it, too.”

He was right. He was so, so right. And maybe I hadn’t known it before Viktor was taken away, but there was a part of me that was grateful that our marriage plans had been cut short. I didn’t want Viktor to be dead… But I also knew that it hadn’t been my choice. If I went back to my father, the next one wouldn’t be my choice. And even though Hadrien had taken me against my will, he had made it my choice to give him the one thing I had never been allowed to give another. Was it a fair exchange? Was it even reasonable?

Reason didn’t really matter, though, when I brought his lips back to mine, and rocked my hips against his hand. There were no more words from there, and I was fine with that. I don’t think I’d have been able to say anything that we didn’t both already know – Hadrien had made a mistake the night that he had killed Viktor, but we were both going to get something out of it that night, and it was going to be right then and there.

He pulled my shorts away from me, and tossed them to the floor. I had no panties on, and once more found myself exposed to him. He was insistent, wanting, and as he kissed me hungrily, our mouths open to each other, he fiddled with the zipper of his jeans. My body was alight with anticipation, and a bit of nervousness. I had no idea how this was going to go, and I knew that on the off chance I ever did get back to my father, he would consider me ruined if he ever found out.

I didn’t care.

I had envisioned my first time as slow, and tender. Loving. But I didn’t want it slow with Hadrien. I wanted him hard, and as soon as possible. I was almost afraid I would chicken out. So when he slid his length against me, testing my resolve between my slick, wet lips, over the swollen bud there, I bucked against him, and whined.

“Don’t stop now,” I said. “We both want it, remember?”

My want was enough consent for Hadrien, and there, as I was spread out on his dining room table, he slid into me in one go. I gasped, unused to so much inside me once. It didn’t hurt, but I felt full, and I clung to him as the full length of him pressed deep within me. I buried my face in his neck, getting accustomed to him.

Hadrien’s hands found mine, fingers twining before he pinned them to the table, and I moaned embarrassingly loud as he bucked into me. It felt ten times the head spinning, insane sort of pleasure that his fingers had when he had first touched me, and I could feel myself flutter and pulse around his thick member as he drove into me. The table squeaked and moved beneath us, but he didn’t stop and for that I was grateful.

Gone were thoughts of my father’s disapproval. No more were thoughts of Viktor, dead. All I could think of, was how good Hadrien felt inside me, how he filled me, the depth he reached and how he didn’t let up on me. Even as I came undone before him, biting into his shoulder as I tightened around his length, he still drove into me, growling and grunting as his hips bucked.

When it came time for him to reach his completion, he was harder, faster. I reached that point of ecstasy again, and it felt mind blowing as his movements became erratic, before he slipped out. I felt the hot splash of release against my thigh, and I laid there on the table as he kept himself propped up over me.

There was a present ache between my legs, and I felt my wetness dripping from me. It was more intense than any time I had experimentally touched myself after Hadrien’s initial intrusions. His own dripped down my thigh, onto the table. We were quiet for a moment, and looked at each other.

I expected to feel guilt. I expected to feel dirty. Instead, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I didn’t know how to process that, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“I didn’t want Viktor to die,” I said softly.

“I know, Princess,” Hadrien muttered to me.

“But I didn’t want to be his wife, either. He was nice… like a best friend.”

“Then I’m sorry for killing your best friend. And kidnapping you.”

The laugh came to me before I could stop it.

“Are you sorry for kidnapping me?”

“Not really.” He pulled away, and tucked his now soft member into his pants. He pulled a chair up and sat in it, and I sat up. I didn’t bother with shorts, and he didn’t bother handing them to me. We sat in silence for a little, and after a moment I spoke up.

“I’m not going back to my father for a while, am I?”

“Pretty sure I’d be killed if that were the case.”

I tilted my head. “You could have just been a proper bad guy and told me you weren’t planning on doing so, you know.”

“I just took your virginity after a few weeks of knowing you. Bad guy is kind of my thing, you know. You at least had fun, that’s for sure.”

I blushed a bit.

“Well don’t expect it to happen again. It was just… It was good,” I offered, though good didn’t exactly encompass it right. Hadrien laughed.

“Just good. Okay, Princess.”