Chapter12
They liked her. David knew they liked Emilia the moment they met her. What wasn’t to like about Emilia? She was far more adorable than all babies combined, not that he was being biased about it… and the strange thing was, he knew they liked Caryn as well.
He couldn’t even remember liking Caryn the first time he met her, but his family did, apparently. In fact, the moment they got inside their vehicle, they began chatting animatedly about the whole ordeal. Of course, he had thought it was an ordeal. He was thoroughly convinced that Emilia was his, and he wasn’t sure if his family would even remotely appreciate the little human’s presence- but they did. It wasn’t all that mattered. Deep inside, he had wanted them to like the mother as well. He had almost loved Caryn back then, in the month that they had consummated whatever relationship was growing between them, if there was any.
He had wanted it to develop into something more, only she hadn’t given him the chance. Here she was again, with the same stubbornness she had shown him before, only this time, his irritation was sprinkled with fear. What if Caryn took Emilia away? And he could never see her again. The DNA test was done, and he would have the results in as little as two weeks.
His mother and siblings “ooh’d” and “ahh’d” over what pictures they had taken with Emilia in it, teasing him eventually, that the baby had his eyes, and his hair.
“She seems healthy,” Jane remarked an hour later, as soon as his siblings slept in their seats while inside his private jet.
“Who seems healthy?” he asked, his trail of thought disturbed momentarily.
“Emilia,” Jane said, “she seems like she’s well taken cared for. Although Caryn is a bit too thin at the moment. It seems like she never gained baby weight.”
“Must be all the work,” David said.
“How many jobs does she have?” Jane said, surprised.
“I think she has two, from what I remember.”
“Isn’t that too much?”
David shrugged. “It’s her choice. Besides, I already transferred a bit of money into her account, for Emilia.”
Jane nodded, seeing the conflict in his eyes. No matter how he tried to hide it, his mother had the eyes of a hawk, or a doctor and a mother with years of experience under her belt.
“Why did you adopt me?” he suddenly asked, knowing how lucky he was that they took him in as a week-old baby.
“You smiled at me,” Jane said simply. “I was fresh out of med school, wanted to become a sports doctor, which was where I met your father,” she gave a wistful smile. “I was making my rounds at the hospital, and you came in the emergency room, all tiny and too thin, even for a newborn.”
“Yeah, my mother was high on crack,” he said, knowing that part of his childhood.
“She was, and she couldn’t keep you. The state took you away from her, for your sake and hers. So, I was in the neonatal unit, and I saw this little thing, squirming, wanting to live, ventilator, tubes and all- and yet, when I held that baby’s hand, even if I knew he was having a hard time breathing, he smiled at me. You smiled at me.”
“I barely smile now,” he said, looking out the window.
“Yes, but you smiled the moment you saw her. Isn’t that something?”
“Smiled at whom?”
“Caryn,” his mother responded. “You smiled at Caryn.”
He frowned. “I know it was for Emilia.”
“Emilia yes, but you saw Caryn first.”
“You’re a cardiologist, not a psychologist,” he told his mother.
She laughed. “So it seems. I’m still a mother first.”
“Did you love her at all?”
“I didn’t know her that well enough to love her,” he responded. “Things just happened.”
“It happened for a reason.”
“What? So I could give you a grandkid?”
“Emilia does look like you…” Jane’s voice trailed off.
“I know you want those results now, as much as I do,” David said. “Beyond pragmatism and positivity, I know Emilia’s mine. Caryn just isn’t the type to lie.”
“And there’s the irony in saying you didn’t know her well enough,” Jane said with a smile. “Not everything has to be set in stone or CSS, not everything’s binary or whatever- “
David laughed a bit. “Do you even know what those terms mean?”
“I know they’re techie,” Jane said with a laugh. “Sorry, I’m trying to relate here. You millennials have a way with things that my generation can’t fathom- not that I’m old or anything. But yes, it seems like you did assume something about her.”
“Assume means making an ass;;”“Out of U and ME, I know,” his mother interrupted him. “I’m glad this whole thing’s kicked in your empathy for kids. You never seemed to like kids in the first place.”
“I once was a kid, but I thought I couldn’t tolerate them, until now. Emilia is just…”
“Too adorable?”
“For lack of a better word?” David said. “I want Emilia to have our family name.”
“It sounds honorable and all, but what does the mother want?”
“She doesn’t want me to be part of her life, except maybe for visitation and whatnot. Financial support?”
“She doesn’t strike me as the gold digger type, even if you did mention she’s the abandoned daughter of a New York tycoon. It’s more of pride, Dave. There are certain things she must’ve fought for as a child, and she feels like she still has to prove it until now.”
“I’m already offering her help,” David said irritably. “What else is there to prove?”
His mother shook his head. “What else do you have to prove? Why are you doing this?”
“I know I can be a good parent- no, I can be a great father.”
“She’s trying to prove the same.”
“She can’t juggle two jobs a day and still expect the same amount of care for the kid,” David said, peeved once more.
“She’s doing more than her fair share of work as a single parent. Now that you’re in the picture, you expect to unburden her of her duties?”
“Of course,” David replied. “It’s only right. I mean, I wasn’t there when she was pregnant, or when she gave birth in some public facility,” “A noble and admirable thing, Dave,” his mother told him, “but have you ever considered how she truly feels about this whole thing now?”
“Of course, you know how I work.”
“This isn’t work.”
“I know it isn’t, but I need to find something relatable to it,” David sighed. “I’m new to this, and I don’t know what else to expect, I can’t even be a good father because she isn’t giving me the chance.”
“Have you tried listening to her?”
“What kind of question is that?” He felt offended. “Of course, I have.”
“Apparently not enough,” his mother sighed.
David took a deep breath, contemplating what his mother had told him. He didn’t listen enough. Didn’t he? He catered to her whims, her not so obvious ones, even. At least, that was how he understood her. Am I too concentrated on the fact that I have to prove myself as a good father? What about Caryn? What does she think about me? What does she feel for me? There has to be something, even hatred. He suddenly couldn’t bear to think of Caryn hating him. How could she? He was the one who saved her when she needed it. Just because she didn’t need saving now…
He took a breath, and the conversation between him and his mother fell silent. He knew his mother was concerned. He didn’t know Caryn well enough back then, but it was still as clear as day in his mind. He wanted things to move up back then. What made it any different now?
I don’t feel the same way, he told himself again and again. Maybe it was because of Emilia, maybe it was because he realized Caryn’s little quirks annoyed him. He was definite that it wasn’t because of Amanda showing up once more.
Emilia was all there was to this, but strangely enough, David wanted Caryn to have his surname. He was being an idiot. She wanted nothing to do with him, and he was still contemplating that somehow, she would.
He closed his eyes, knowing he was as in love with her before as he was now.
*
“I’ve thought about it,” Caryn began, slowly. “I just don’t want to move there without a job.”
“There’s one waiting for you. You won’t like it, but it pays decently, and it’s a bit boring. Medical office staff,” David told her.
“I didn’t go to college for that-“
“It’s here, waiting for you, until you find a better one.”
She nodded, staring out into the distance, the snowy rooftops of the buildings suddenly looked dreary. She looked at Emilia, who was lying down on her second-hand crib, sleeping peacefully. It took her all of two days to be pulled close into the decision she knew would change everyone’s lives, and her baby’s the most.
The job would most likely be from the hospital where his mother was a board member. She liked Jane, and the rest of his family, David… not so much. At least not right now. Not in the way she’d have wanted it to progress.
His bossiness got to her always, but he was practical and right, in more ways than one. There was a reason why he was a billionaire, there was a reason why he was CEO. But that didn’t mean he could be a good father. It was clear he wanted to be one.
“There’s a lot to pack up--”
“Leave it all behind. I’ve set up an apartment for you,” he quickly told her.
“Where?”
“Somewhere close to where you work.”
“And the rent?”
“You’ll be paying for it, of course,” he said. “Just the way you’d prefer it. Have you sent in your resignation?”
“Not yet,” Caryn told him, biting her lower lip.
“Well, you’d better hand it in today. I’m sending over my jet tomorrow. A car will pick you up, to bring your most important belongings. Nothing over a hundred pounds, please. The jet’s not that big.”
She almost couldn’t say anything. The jet wasn’t that big. But he had a jet. And they were getting in on that jet, and moving out of New York, and into California. It was all happening too soon, too fast. She hadn’t planned this, hadn’t expected this, not in twenty years, at least. The moment she met David again, her life had turned upside down. She was content in her struggle, content in knowing she was working hard for Emilia.
David just had to come along, and make it seem like all her hard work was for nothing, by dumping cash into her account, he was now accountable for their future.
“Alright,” she said, her voice sounding strained. She would hand over her resignation today, with Emilia in tow, and she would say goodbye to her kind landlady and landlord, and pay the remaining month’s rent. Had she always been that lonely, that her circle remained so small? She couldn’t even call her co-workers as her close friends, they were just friends. In California, she would have to start over, an alien of sorts.
“Emilia will be well taken cared for while we work,” he added.
“She should be,” Caryn said.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh, I’ve sent another secretary to help you with everything. She’ll be coming in shortly. Do watch out for her. She’s Carlotta Bayles.”
“Uh-huh.”
And the conversation ended right there. She looked at her phone in revulsion, wondering if she had made the right decision for herself. No, this was for Emilia. Everything was for Emilia now. Her happiness came second, her emotions came second. Whatever she felt for David, she knew she had to bury first.
She had begun to learn what her mother had done back then, when her father had tried to fight for their little family. All the humiliation she had received from her father’s family, she bore silently, as she wanted Caryn to have something better than what she had had in her childhood.
This was easier than what her mother had gone through, right? At least David’s family was quite accepting about Emilia, and her. Whatever hang-ups Caryn had, she knew she had to keep them and manage them herself. She couldn’t destroy Emilia’s chances for a better future in a whole new city, with a whole new job, and a whole new life.
*
He was nervous about the whole thing, even if he didn’t want to be. He had personally gone out to pick them up them at the airport, and at his request, his family didn’t join. That would be too… invasive, wouldn’t it be? Besides, he needed to talk to her.
There he was at the private tarmac, waiting for them to deplane. His secretary, Carlotta, had said that Caryn was quiet, shy and pleasant. David wasn’t sure about the pleasant part, as she showed no qualms in talking back if she was cornered, but maybe she changed.
A baby could do so many things to an adult, even change one’s character. He found himself far more motivated now, and work was no longer work and expensive hobbies, but it was now for his daughter’s future. He still marveled at how beautiful Emilia was, how she had come from his loins and Caryn’s.
He saw them alight from the plane, and found that Emilia was asleep.
“How was the flight?” he asked her.
“It was a bit bumpy as soon as we left the airport, but she slept through most of it,” Caryn said, clearly wary of him.
“I understand that Carlotta did most of the paperwork for you,” he told her.
“She was really nice about it,” Caryn said, “Must’ve been a lot of hassle.”
“The important thing is, most of the loose ends have been tied up. Carlotta can go back, just in case you need other things?”
Caryn nodded. “Thank you.”
“Let’s get a move on. At least the only thing you’ll need here is a heavier sweater for the season,” he said, leading them for the car. “We’ll be going to your new place first, so you can rest.”
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” she asked him.
“I wanted to see Emilia, maybe play with her for a bit before I go back for work.”
“Also, to talk?” she added.
David took a breath. “If you’re up for it.”
Caryn shook her head, as she adjusted Emilia’s head on her chest. “Why wait for the inevitable? Of course, we’re going to talk. We’re both doing things we never thought we’d do, for a little human.”
“The little human’s changed us,” David said, amused.
“Of course, she has. I’m doing things I never thought I’d do. Like move here, like listen to you.”
“You can always remain stubborn, you know,” David said.
“I- I,” Caryn stopped and took a breath. “I can’t. Emilia--”
“Emilia’s the only important matter here, nothing else,” he said, trying to put her at ease. “Of course, your happiness is mine as well.”
“What?”
David took a breath. “You heard what I said.”
“Oh, so you’re trying to be my friend now, are you?”
“I’m trying to be a good father, and whatnot,” David said, knowing his irritation was growing. He wasn’t good with this at all. He remembered what his mother had said, and remained silent for the rest of the trip. It was an uneventful thirty-minute drive, and they stopped in front of a tall, residential building.
“We’re here,” he said.
Caryn slowly clambered out of the car, and he saw her eyes widen, not expecting such a grand place. They walked into the building, where a reception greeted them warmly.
“Mr. Pierce, good day. Madam,” she said.
“Hi Susan, this is my daughter, Emilia, and uh, Caryn,” he said, not knowing how to introduce Caryn.
“Oh, she’s adorable, Mr. Pierce,” Susan said in her high-pitched voice. “You could have taken the express elevator.”
“I wanted them to see the lobby first,” David said with a smile.
The moment David opened the door that led to the penthouse suite, he heard Caryn gasp quietly.
“David, I don’t think I can afford this,” she said, sounding dejected.
“Well, how about a discount?” he told her. “I own this, but since you like your independence…”
“You’re a jerk, do you know that?”
He couldn’t contain his laughter. “So I’ve heard. But yes, does $500 a month suit your palate? It’ll be enough for utilities.”
“Rent is normally how much for this kind of place?” she asked him, walking around from room to room. “How many rooms are there?”
“Usually $5,000 a month, it is a penthouse, after all. You didn’t have to bring furniture or anything. This place is decorated down to a T, by Daphne, if you remember her.”
“Yes,” Caryn said, absentmindedly. “$5,000…” she repeated.
“Oh, it has three bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. There’s a terrace, and a pool at the 8th floor. We’re at the 20th, by the way. The fridge is stocked with food, healthier and not instant,” “You really went out of your way, huh?”
“I don’t want you thinking we’re a bunch of barbarians in California,” David said.
“Did you just make a joke?”
“I’m trying to make light of the situation here. I know we’re kind of nervous.”
“You have no idea,” Caryn finally admitted, exhausted. “I couldn’t really sleep last night. I wasn’t sure of what was waiting for us here.”
“Apart from me?”
She nodded. “Apart from you. We haven’t even gotten the DNA test results, yet.”“You said it was mine. I believed you.”
Caryn closed her eyes for a moment. “I never tried to date anyone after- after the… you get the picture. It was hard for me, as it was for you.”
He nodded. “Go on.”
Caryn seemed surprised that he would let her continue, but she did, glad that he didn’t interrupt her. So, his mother was right, wasn’t she.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to tell you. I fought hard against it, I knew you had problems of your own, and even if it was yours, I thought you wouldn’t want to be a part of what was happening. I mean, we talked, but we were so guarded, afraid that we might say something wrong… tell me I’m right?”
David looked at her. “You’re right. And I’m not saying this just because. If I had found out a few months ago, I don’t think I’d be as ready as I was. I think we’d fight.”
“Didn’t we always argue? That was why I was worried about it, I was worried you’d want to get rid of it, when I wanted to keep it, I was worried you’d think Emilia wasn’t yours.”
“But this is now,” David said. “We’re here, and I’m doing my best, as are you. Whatever the outcome of the DNA test is, I’ll still be here for Emilia, and you.”
“Why?”
David closed his eyes for a moment, and then he shrugged, looking at Emilia who was fast asleep. “Because I want to. You don’t tell me I can choose not to, this is all my choice, anyway, and this is what I want.”
“I mean nothing to you…” her voice trailed off. “I mean, not in the way I’d want for--” she stopped.
He looked up at her. “I don’t think so. Wait, I know so. And it’s not just because of the baby.” He stopped abruptly, realizing that he was reddening. He cleared his throat and looked away, not wanting to impose his emotions on her. What if she didn’t feel the same? He was becoming sappy, vulnerable, and he felt as exposed as the moment he had found out his friends had cheated him out of his company, along with Amanda cheating on him.
This wasn’t how he had envisioned mending whatever conflict there was between them. He was becoming awkward again, and he had worked hard on that since she left the island. Maybe it was a sign that he was pushing himself beyond discomfort, and into something worse. How bad was this going to be? Was he going to ruin everything? Or was Caryn going to ruin things for them?
Maybe their attitudes didn’t mesh well enough. All the doubts began to surface, and his confidence began to break. He knew he would still be a good father, but when it came to Caryn, he was fumbling about, unsure, and noncommittal. What for? She was harmless and right in front of him…
“Are you okay?” she interrupted his reverie.
“Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. You want to see the rooms?”
She looked at him warily, then nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
“Do you need a nanny?”
“No,” Caryn quickly replied.
“So, you don’t need a nanny, but you leave Emilia to a stranger.”
“Who was probably the sweetest lady in New York,” Caryn said. “Look, I appreciate you doing this all for Emilia, and I even get to be collateral damage for the perks she’s getting- but why do we have to fight? It’s like we can’t meet up and not talk nicely.” “Maybe we’re not built like that, maybe we’re just--”
“Not good together?” Caryn finished, her voice sounded hurt, and David didn’t like that one bit.
He said nothing, and he watched as Caryn entered an open room, where a bassinet was. She gently put Emilia down, and then closed the door partially. Her eyes were pissed as soon as she faced him again.
“Maybe we aren’t. The only good thing to come out of each other’s company is my child, huh?”
“It’s not that.” “You’re just doing this to exercise authority, to show you’ve got the money, to show you’re--”“To show that I can be a good parent. To show that I want to make things better between us,” David interjected.
“How?” her voice croaked.
“I’m bad at this,” David breathed out.
“Glad to know I’m not the only one.” “Screw it,” David muttered, walking up to her and kissing her.