The Final Chapter
It had taken all of seconds for Amanda to realize she had invaded David’s personal life, and it had taken her seconds to realize that David had a baby. It couldn’t have been anyone else’s. David looked mortified, confused, and helpless.
“Why are you here?” he demanded to her.
“David- I thought--”
“You thought wrong. I already forgave you, you didn’t need to show up here,” David said, his eyes in panic. “Damn it,” he muttered.
“I’m sorry, I--”
“Amanda,” Jane greeted her calmly, “what brings you here? Can I offer you anything?” she asked, steering Amanda past David, and past his siblings who looked pissed, more pissed than David was. “Come to the kitchen, let’s have a drink.”
“Where did she go?” David uttered out.
“Out, on the beach, in the sea, I don’t know,” Charlotte said, irritated. “Why the hell is she here?”
David looked distracted, as he walked out the balcony, looking for Caryn and Emilia. It was a cold night, surely Caryn wasn’t that thoughtless of their daughter. He saw nothing but blinking lights from a distance, and other homes with their holiday décor.
“David--” Daphne began.
“I need to find her.”
“Should I call 911?” Warren asked, his eyes concerned.
“No, I’ll find them.”
“It’s dark,” Cody said.
“I’ll find them,” David said, “she’s with Emilia. She can’t have gone that far.”
“David, she took her bag with her. For all we know, she’s gotten a cab or something.”
“I’ll find them,” David insisted.
“Can you deal with her?” he asked his siblings, nodding towards Amanda.
“Mom can deal with her,” Daphne muttered, clearly disliking the uninvited guest.
His brain was still fogged up, shocked from Amanda’s unsolicited kiss and arrival. He remembered her asking about second chances, and he hadn’t thought about it until now. His heart was solely concentrated on Caryn, no matter how hard he had tried to ignore it. A year wasn’t enough to get over her, and he was glad he hadn’t.
Tonight was supposed to be a happy occasion. He had more or less plotted out the events, he had wanted to ask her out on a date, a formal one this time, and leave Emilia for an hour or two with his parents the following day. The plan had crumbled, and he couldn’t find it in himself to admit that he had ruined things entirely, because he hadn’t been able to read the signs, that Amanda was begging for a second chance. So, she still loved him? It didn’t matter, whether Amanda truly did, or if she was just doing it for security. What mattered was he find mother and child, and find her rational in the least.
He grabbed a pullover and walked out of the house, amid his sisters’ protests, and his father’s. He tried calling her phone, but she couldn’t be reached. It took David an hour to walk back and forth the sandy shores of Laguna Beach, only to realize Caryn had left the area the moment she had gotten out of the house.
“I don’t need drama in my life,” he told himself as he walked back to the house.
“Well?” his mother began, as soon as he entered the living room. “Did you find them? The baby?”
David shook his head, knowing he had messed up big time. Of course, Caryn would never forgive him. He had taken all of her trust, and thrown it all away the moment Amanda came.
“She left, when mom explained it to her,” Cody told him.
“You should’ve seen her cry. She finished all the Kleenex,” Charlotte said, still annoyed that it ruined their Christmas Eve. It was almost twelve midnight, and David grabbed his keys.
“Don’t go, David. It’s almost Christmas,” Charlotte added.
David shook his head. “I need to look for them. I need to know they’re safe.”
“I’m sure they are,” Jane said soothingly. “You need rest, we all do. How about me and your dad help you first thing in the morning? Emotions are running high, I don’t think it’s best--” “You don’t know her the way I know her,” David replied. He walked up to his mother and kissed her on the cheek. “I need to find Caryn, mom. I need to find my family.”
Moments later, David drove down the coastal road, wondering how on earth he had survived that long without Caryn in his life. I shouldn’t have let you go, he thought, I should have looked for you, I should have.
He couldn’t live without Emilia now, and he couldn’t live without Caryn. He had been too stubborn to accept the signs- that he was in love with Caryn, and he had hoped she would have been too. The look in her eyes earlier still haunted him, and he cursed and stepped on the pedal, hoping that Caryn was where he thought she was: the penthouse.
*
Caryn slept in a hotel that night, lucky enough to find a cab cruising the streets. She looked at Emilia, who was swaddled in clean hotel sheets, and she wondered if she had done the right thing. It was no overreaction, was it? She had been hurt, hurt beyond recognition. I should have gotten used to this, she told herself. Her she was, envisioning that she had her own nuclear family this time, if only things worked out the way she imagined.
Realization after realization poured in. While everything was for Emilia, she had to leave some pride for herself, too, which she did tonight. It was that flight or fight response, and with a baby in tow, she was in no mood to fight. She fought for her independence, she fought to survive. Why didn’t she fight for him?
You let the people you love go, it was what my father did, and at least I wanted to believe that…
David had told her he wanted to create more happy Christmas memories with her around. She wasn’t gullible to believe that. She knew it was true. The David she had recently become reacquainted to had subtle changes that only she could pick up. Jane was right. It had been love at first sight for her.
She hadn’t felt that way for anyone yet, and she hadn’t felt that way for anyone until then. She had left her heart on that island, afraid that she would never feel so deeply for anyone else. She never did. David had always been in her mind. Caryn had thought fate intervened for her, that she should meet him. It shocked her, and yet it disturbed her, to know that she still felt the same way, even after a year. She couldn’t sleep a wink, even if the hotel was comfortable. She was using his money, still using the cash he had transferred- but she didn’t feel the least bit guilty.
At least the bed was comfortable enough to cry in, and Emilia didn’t make a fuss at all, the good girl that she was. Tissue was everywhere, too. She waited for the sun to rise, ordered a good breakfast for herself, and then packed whatever things she had taken along, paying in cash.
The ride was long, at least it felt long. Laguna Beach was a picturesque community, a community where she felt like a complete stranger. She and Emilia were new, and she didn’t know anyone except David and his family. She had taken his word, but not his heart entirely. At least Emilia was there. It was what mattered. Caryn couldn’t keep herself from hurting though, no matter how much she rationalized.
Love hurts, when it changes us.
She had forgotten where she had read that quote, but it surfaced in her mind as soon as the sun rose in the horizon. David was who she loved, and she had loved him the moment she saw him. I shouldn’t have let you go, she thought, I should have stayed for you, I should have stayed with you.
She felt like she couldn’t live without David now, not when she saw the way his face lit up when he saw Emilia. She had been too stubborn to accept the signs- that she was in love with David, and she had hoped he would have been too.
She and Emilia made their way back to the penthouse, her mind made up.
*
The moment she walked in, she saw David on the couch, asleep. He looked disheveled, and when he heard Emilia gurgle, he bolted awake.
“Caryn,” he said, shaking the sleep out of his system. “Where have you been? How’s Emilia? Where did you go? I spent all night looking for you.”
“To what? Greet us a ‘Merry Christmas’?” she said, carefully placing Emilia down on her stroller.
He stood up. “To make sure you were… you two were safe and… to right whatever wrong was done last night. I don’t know why she was there.” “That was Amanda?” Caryn asked him, walking over to the kitchen counter to unload the used bottles of milk.
David followed her to the kitchen, and he placed his hand on the counter. “Yes, but she doesn’t matter.”
“That kiss didn’t matter?” her voice was high-pitched. She thought she could control it, but she couldn’t. Anxiety began to claw its way into her, and her palms were cold, a far cry from how she willed herself to act normal and calm as soon as she saw him.
“Of course, it didn’t. Where did you two go? Did you get any sleep?”
“Did you?” she asked him, seeing the dark circle under his eyes. What normally were his bright blue eyes, became quite dull and tired.
“I didn’t. I came to the apartment twice, one in the morning, and then an hour ago.”
“Where did you go?”
“I drove around, looking for you. I was worried sick.” “That we’d never come back?” Caryn said.
He nodded. “That you two wouldn’t come back. You have no idea how--”
“You have no idea how I felt too.”
“Caryn, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know why she had to go there, except for the fact that she knew of our family gatherings before we broke up…”
“You said it was years ago.”
“Weeks before we met in New York, she met up with me. We talked, it wasn’t much. I didn’t want to. But I knew she felt it was important. For closure. I had forgotten about her the moment you came into my life.”
“I came into your life because I was supposed to write a story about you. Don’t romanticize things. Fate had nothing to do with it. Everything was work.” “What’s wrong about romanticizing? Don’t make yourself unhappy. I’m learning slowly about this, but I’m learning, and I’m getting there. It’s not easy, Caryn, you know it’s not. And you don’t have to deny yourself this kind of happiness.”
“Happiness…” Caryn said softly. “I’m not. It’s just that… Emilia.”
“Emilia wasn’t there yet, but the two of us were. It took me a year to come to terms with what I felt. I used to think it wasn’t possible, to fall in love that fast. I’m eating my own words and thoughts,” he said, shaking his head, almost laughing at the irony of everything. He sounded nervous, Caryn noted. Was he as nervous as she was?
Caryn was quiet, wanting to hear more, waiting to hear more of what he felt and how he felt.
“I have few regrets in life, Caryn. One of them is letting you leave without telling you, the other, not knowing Emilia was there early on. I- I tried to act as best as I could. Maybe it was bad timing, maybe I needed another year to mature, to face problems better,”
“Is that why you wanted us here? So you could face a problem better?”
“You’re not a problem,” he told her, “You’re a solution.”
Caryn nodded, and found herself lightheaded. She sat on a bar stool, sighing. “David, there are certain things we can’t ever fix. We can try to adjust to each other, I mean, I don’t even know what we are.”
“Let me just get back to what I said a couple of days ago,” he breathed out, “You’re Emilia’s mom, I’m Emilia’s dad. I want things to work out between us. No matter how much time it takes, no matter the effort. I’m here to stay. You have me, and I love you. I hope that got through.”
Caryn closed her eyes.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Caryn, not anymore. Whatever promises I made, I’ll make sure you see results.”
“What happens if you don’t?” she asked him.
“Please don’t make me come up with some unreasonable, unbearable exchange for promises I can’t deliver,” he said softly. “Don’t take yourself or Emilia away from me, for starters.”
She smiled a little, seeing him smile as well. “Don’t give me any ideas,” she told him.
“I’m not, just said that out of the blue. Well, now you know it’s probably my greatest fear at the moment, don’t use it against me.”
“I won’t, I promise I won’t.”
*
She had awoken that morning, tired from the trip. She heard laughter coming from outside, and she felt the warmth of the sun on her skin. It was only seven, and she quickly got out of bed, calling out her baby’s name.
“Emilia?”
The lounge area was empty, as was the kitchen. She was sure she heard laughter. She slid open the doors to see where Emilia was. As expected, she was with her father. David was carrying Emilia in his arms, showing her a bunch of bougainvillea flowers within her reach. David had told her last night that the gardener had made sure to remove majority of the thorns surrounding the flowers.
It was a sight that Caryn wanted to imprint forever in her memory. It was a simple, but beautiful sight, father and daughter bonding amidst the early morning sun.
“That’s pink, I know there’s different kinds of pink, but yeah, that’s pink. Can you say pink?” David whispered to Emilia as Caryn watched from afar.
Caryn found herself laughing, and David spun around.
“What?” he said, raising a brow, “I’m teaching her to talk.”
“She can’t even say ‘daddy’ yet, and you expect her to say pink?”
“Start them early, I say. Mom said she started talking to me like an adult when I was around this age.”
“Well, let’s hope her first word isn’t pink,” Caryn remarked, walking towards them.
David laughed. “Damn, now I feel like an idiot. Yeah, ‘daddy’ should be easier.”
“For a genius, you sure have some catching up to do with kids.”
“Tech is my expertise, not kids, although Emilia’s doing great training me,” he said grinning. “You hungry?”
She nodded. “Yeah, let me cook pancakes.”
“All those days of kitchen training are finally paying off.”
“Hey, I worked full time, and still found enough strength and time to practice,” Caryn said, miffed. “And these are just pancakes. Wait till you try my lasagna.”
“Oh, you cook lasagna now?” David said as they walked back into the house.
“You wouldn’t know ‘cause we live in different houses.”
“I told you before, we should just move in together,” he huffed, placing Emilia on a high chair. He strapped her in carefully, and then he walked to the fridge and took out her baby food.
“And I told you, we said we’d wait until things progressed,” she said mildly.
“Haven’t things progressed?” David said, “You’re here on a non-compulsory vacation with me and Emilia.”
“It’s just a vacation.”
“We share a bed,” David added.
“It’s just a bed.”
“Please don’t tell me ‘it’s just sex,” he sighed, grabbing a tiny spoon to feed Emilia with.
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I’ll be looking for anyone else. We’re compatible in that aspect.”
“And nothing else?”
Caryn smiled as she whipped up the batter. “Among other small things.”
“Small things count. Progress is progress,” David said. “Speaking of. I got the DNA test via email last night.”
“And?”
David grinned broadly this time. “We both know the results already. You knew back then, I knew back then. So, I just told mom and dad the moment I woke up.”
“You knew back then?”
“Yes.”
“You believed me right away when I said Emilia was yours?”
“Let’s just say deep down, I thought it would be a good reason enough to tie you closer to me,” he laughed.
“Oh my god,” Caryn said, laughing as well. “Ulterior motives.”
“Of course, I had to have a motive, how else could I keep you with me? I hadn’t fallen in love twice before, but seeing Emilia that day, man, that proved to be my downfall. I hope you don’t mind you have competition.”
“I’m glad you’re her father,” Caryn suddenly said. It was heartfelt, and she knew she was about to blush. She looked away and busied herself with the pancakes.
“I’m glad you gave me a chance,” David said, “I’m glad you let me in your life, and Emilia’s.”
“Was the year-long wait worth it?”
“I think I waited more than that without even knowing,” David said, walking up to her. He stood beside her with his arms crossed. “You know, since it’s already a 100% sure that Emilia’s mine, I was thinking if she could have my family name-”
“That’s going to be a lengthy process you know.”
“And if you’d have my last name as well,” he said.
Caryn stopped mixing the batter, and she looked up to David, who had a smile on his face. “Is this a proposal?”
“It’s the proposal of the proposal,” he replied, shifting his feet a little to face her.
Caryn put the ladle down. “It’s too soon, it’s too--”
“Caryn, do you love me, or not?”
“I love you, of course I love you,” she replied, blinking rapidly, overwhelmed by his sudden question. “But isn’t this--”
“Please tell me you’ve considered this at least once in our relationship?”
“I have.” “And?” He fished out something from his pocket. Then he knelt down. “I’ve been keeping this since January,” he said, taking her hand, and holding it. He slipped it unto her finger, and it fit like a dream come true.
“And… yes, yes,” she said, not expecting to be so teary eyed about it. “Yes!”
She held him by the face as he stood up slowly, and they both took deep breaths at the same time, and then they laughed together.
“Let’s make this worth it,” Caryn said.
“It already is,” David replied, kissing her.
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