With the last large roles settled, the cast and crew of Sleeping Beauty begin booking their travel to the first leg of the journey, a rehearsal space in Chicago.
I have the option of flying with everyone else or meeting them on the first day. And I can stay in their host hotel, or I can find my own accommodations.
Blitz lies on the bed as I start my preliminary packing. I’ve never been to Chicago. Is it warm? Does it get cold at night in the summer? I look up weather statistics every five minutes.
“You can always buy more things up there,” he says.
“In my free time between rehearsals?”
“Right. I can send Shelly to help.” He hesitates. “Or I can come.”
I sit down next to him. “What do you think? Should I try to be a part of the troupe? Or take the easy way out and just live with you while I do this?”
We’ve discussed this for days. Now it’s time to decide and I can’t draw a conclusion. The travel agent needs to let my reservations with the troupe go if I’m not using them.
“You’ve established a bit of a diva vibe,” Blitz says. “But that was only with a few of them. You could start again, be humble. Eat, sleep, and breathe the ballet with them.”
I’ve never gotten to do that. With Blitz, maybe I never will. I’m not sure of our future, but we could get married, have kids. This might be one of the few times in my life I can just…go.
“I’ll travel with them,” I say. “If I can’t handle them any longer, we’ll stay together someplace close to the studio, but away from the others.”
“Brilliant compromise,” Blitz says. “I think a few more friends will do you good. It will be hard to make them with man-meat hanging on your shoulder.”
He makes me laugh. Man-meat.
I shove all six pairs of toe shoes in the bag. “Don’t let me forget to call Mindy. Maybe she can convince her family to drive to the Houston show if I send tickets.”
“Have you thought about asking your parents?” he asks. “It’s only a few hours from here.”
I frown. I can’t imagine that they would come. My dad doesn’t seem to want to back down from his opinion of me. But maybe Mom and Andy could drive over.
“I’ll try,” I promise. “I’ll send them tickets. And your parents will come, I assume?”
“Of course! I’ll bring them for opening night, unless that makes you nervous.” Blitz sits up, eyeing the panties that are flying through the room to land in one of the bags.
“I don’t think anything will make more nervous than I already will be,” I say. “Familiar faces will probably be good.”
Blitz makes the call to Dmitri to say I’ll be traveling with the group and heads to another part of the house to poke around the website for the tour to gather dates and cities.
I sit among all the bags. I still have a couple days to pull everything together. I just don’t want to be in a hurry and miss something important. Not that there is much of anything that couldn’t be replaced.
I pull the blue-sprayed toe shoes from my bag. I don’t wear this pair anymore. They are too special, too important to wear out. Toe shoes don’t last forever. With the amount of dancing I’ll be doing, I could go through a pair every day.
I hug these to me, though. I got them from Danika. My first pair. Then the wardrobe people from Dance Blitz sprayed them to match the dress I wore when I rushed the stage to save Blitz from wrecking his career.
They are almost the only thing I still possess from when I lived at home. I walked away with only two outfits, both of which stopped fitting after the stringent workouts on the show, and a ragged backpack.
It’s as though my past was erased. Like it didn’t exist.
It’s worse now. Gabriella is out of reach. I can’t go to my old dance academy.
And now, a new city. New people, some of whom are already against me.
I’m cutting loose, a little, if not a lot, from Blitz too.
I’ve never stood on my own. Reached for my own thing.
It’s time.
I tuck the shoes back in the bag. My life is charmed now, and I know it. I have leverage. Money. Options.
But like Dominika, I’ve had a lot of loss. I wonder why they chose Sleeping Beauty, the fragile damsel who has all the plot events happen to her, starting with a curse on her birth. She has no control over anything and can’t even rescue herself.
I’m glad I’m playing Carabosse. I might not be the beauty or the star, but at least everything I do onstage will play out based on my own actions, for better or for worse.