On Friday morning, we head to the academy for my own dance class. I only earned my pointe shoes a month ago, and I still have a long way to go before I can dance in them for any length of time. This is no time to slack off.
My original toe shoes were sprayed blue to match a costume for my surprise appearance on Dance Blitz, but I have several pairs now to match my new leotards. Blitz has spoiled me since I moved into the hotel suite with him.
As so often happens in Texas, the weather took a dramatic turn overnight, the cold replaced with warmth. I can wear my leotard without a jacket, and Blitz is back in the sleeveless dance shirts I remember from our first days together.
He’s been taking my ballet class with Betsy, finally learning all the basics he skipped early in his training due to his father’s disapproval. It’s fun being there with him, especially now that the other girls are used to him. They’ve stopped giggling the whole time.
But when we approach the Dreamcatcher Dance Academy, we see something we didn’t expect.
Denham’s green truck.
“Shit,” Blitz says. “We should have known.” He stops the car a couple blocks away.
“Do we go on in?” I ask, my voice shaking.
“I can pummel him again,” Blitz says.
“No, no,” I say. “Isn’t he trespassing?”
“Not parked on the street,” Blitz says. “He’s wised up.”
His truck is faced away from us, but Blitz’s Ferrari is bright red and easy to spot. All Denham has to do is turn around and he’ll see us.
“What do we do?” I ask. I don’t want another confrontation, or for Blitz to hit him again. Why can’t Denham just go away?
“We call in reinforcements,” Blitz says. He presses a button on the dash screen. The sound of a phone dialing fills the car.
“Cushman and Rowe,” a female voice says. “How may I help you?”
“Alicia, this is Blitz Craven. Is Jeff around?”
“Hello, Blitz,” she says. “Let me see if he’s still in a meeting.”
The call goes quiet a moment.
“Who is this?” I ask.
“My lawyer,” Blitz says.
Alicia comes back on. “If you can hang on just a sec, he’ll pick up,” she says.
“That’s fine,” Blitz says. He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Jeff is good. He’ll give us some sound advice.”
We wait, watching the green truck ahead of us. I can see the back of Denham’s head through his window. He hasn’t turned around, but he might notice the car in his rearview mirror eventually. It’s so flashy. I wish we had a plain car.
“He’ll see us any second,” I say.
“I’ll get a rental,” Blitz says. “Something very plain.”
I try to relax against the seat. The truck is pretty far away still. We’re a couple blocks back and under a tree. Maybe he won’t notice.
“I can back away if you want,” Blitz says. “We can park around a corner.”
I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. I want to see what he does.” I’m deathly afraid he’ll go into the academy and make a scene.
A deep male voice pipes into the car. “Blitz! To what new debauchery of yours do I owe this surprise?”
Blitz laughs. “I’m not in trouble again. Yet.”
“Only a matter of time,” Jeff says. “I’ll name my next office building after you.”
I glance over at Blitz. They find the oddest things funny.
“So I have a situation. An old flame of Livia’s spotted her on the show and now is camping out on the street in front of our dance school. You should know I did try to knock a little sense into him yesterday when he tried to grab her, but he’s come back for more of the same.”
“So you assaulted him?” I can hear the tapping of keys. I guess Jeff is taking notes.
Blitz laughs again. “We’ll call it self-defense. I don’t think that part is going to be an issue. But I don’t like that he’s keeping Livia from dancing. What are our options?”
“We can apply for a restraining order, but unfortunately, that will reveal even more data, plus it becomes public record. Right now I’m guessing the rest of the world doesn’t know who Livia is. Just this guy because he already knew her.”
“We can’t have everyone camping out here,” I say quickly. “I won’t be able to come at all.”
“What else?” Blitz asks.
“Can someone reason with him? Can you keep this out of the public record?” Jeff asks.
Blitz looks over at me.
“He is the outlaw type,” I say shakily. “I think he feels like he doesn’t have much to lose.”
“What’s he after?” Jeff asks. “Is he trying to get Livia to see him?”
Blitz frowns and raises his eyebrows at me. “Should we tell him?”
“I’m sitting down,” Jeff says. “And Livia, confidentiality is what we are all about here. Nothing we discuss here is ever shared.”
I look down at my tightly laced fingers. This is where my shame has brought me. Except, it’s not shame anymore. It’s just my history.
“I had a baby,” I say. “This man’s baby. I gave it up for adoption. He never knew about it.” I hesitate. “But now he does.”
I expect Jeff to be surprised by all this, but his voice is the same steady baritone as he asks, “Is he named on the birth certificate?”
“I don’t think so,” I say. “I’m pretty sure my father made up the name.”
The key taps are fast now. “How old were you?”
I don’t want to say it, but I have to. “Fifteen.”
“Do you have a copy of the adoption contract?” he asks.
“No, but there is one up at my church.”
“Who handled the adoption?” Jeff asks.
“The church. It’s Catholic. There is some organization that does the legal stuff.”
“Have Blitz send me all the information on the church, and we’ll start digging for that contract.”
I’m terrified to ask this question, but I do. “Can he get the baby?”
“Not easily,” Jeff says. “He has to be able to fight, find a lawyer, get a judge to order a DNA test. That’s lots of hoops to jump through and lots of expense. Is the baby in a good home?”
“Yes,” I say quickly. “And it would be terrible for her to be taken away. She has no idea who her birth family is.”
“I understand,” Jeff says. “We’ll protect her as best we can. Blitz, while I have you, let’s chat about the court date coming up with the production company.”
They start talking about something businesslike, as if this life-shattering event for me is just another case in his files.
I stare out the windshield at the green truck, petrified Denham’s going to see us and come out. I picture him with a bat, bashing the Ferrari. Why did he have to see me on the show? Why did he have to come?
I want to undo so many things now. The calendar pages in my mind start to flip, hurtling back in time. If only I’d resisted him.
But there had been no way to do that then.
After the sunbathing moment, I was very aware of Denham watching me. Paula and my friends might have been giggly and silly around him, but when his eyes clashed with mine, I didn’t feel like laughing. Something unfurled in me, something dark and intense. I wanted to feel more of it and see where it led.
Even Denham had to give in to the weather at times. Dad insisted he help out a little around the house, and one day the two of them set out in the backyard to replace some rotted fence posts.
Denham began the work in his jeans and boots, but as the day wore on, and the digging and hacking to get the old posts out got to him, he gave in and put on shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, then eventually got down to just the shorts.
Andy was three and wanted to go watch, but I had to keep him away or he’d get in the path of their swinging axe and shovel. So I sat in the shade with Andy on my lap, getting a front and center view of each rivulet of sweat that flowed down Denham’s back and into the waistband of his shorts.
I really didn’t know a lot then. Just shy of fifteen, I ran with a quiet crowd who didn’t chase boys, at least not with the intent of actually catching them. Most of the boys we knew were immature and silly, popping bra straps and not really trying to get too close to us either.
But high school was coming. My September birthday meant I was a little older than many of my friends from middle school, and it showed. Back then, Mom wasn’t super conservative on what I could wear. She thought of me as a little girl still, so I had a lot of little tank tops and sundresses with spaghetti straps even though I filled them out in ways that weren’t simply cute anymore.
So I might have been wearing too little, a stretchy tank without a bra. And he kept looking at me between swings of his axe. And every flex of his muscles made something in me ache.
In that backyard with my brother in my lap and my father close by, it felt safe enough to really pay attention to this boy who’d arrived in our home. He was a mystery, and gorgeous, and my empathy was high for him. I wanted him to feel welcome here. I wanted to know him better. I tried to tell myself I wanted to be like a sister, but I wasn’t one. And as his muscles worked the shovel, I realized sisterly was not how I was feeling at all.
There was this moment that day that I remember well. And if I really thought about when things changed, it might have been right then. At one point, he turned around and caught me staring at him.
He must have recognized something in my look, because he didn’t smile or say anything. He just held my gaze. It seared me, his brooding expression, and it seemed to promise me — we’re going to deal with this.
There was nothing tender about that part of it. It was raw and powerful and full of intense yearning. Later that night, when I went to bed, I kept picturing his face, his body, the sweat, his muscled arms. And my body reacted in ways I couldn’t explain. But it all promised so much more to come.
“Livia?”
I realize Blitz has been calling my name. I glance at the dash screen. It’s back to the radio. The phone call is over.
“Sorry, lost in thought,” I say.
“Do you want to try and go in?” he asks, pointing at the academy.
I stare at Denham’s truck. That boy who sweated in my backyard and gave me that hungry look is right there, just a couple blocks away. And now he wants Gabriella.
“No,” I say. “I can’t risk it.”
“Do you want to tell Danika what is happening?” Danika is the owner of Dreamcatcher Academy and a personal friend.
“Not yet. Maybe he’ll give up. And we can get a rental and park behind the building.”
Blitz nods and we start backing away from the school. “I’d much rather bash in his skull,” he says.
“I know,” I say. “But we don’t want the news involved. Or the police.”
Blitz backs onto another street, and we turn toward the hotel. We’ll work out there today. No barre or dance floor, but we’ll figure out a way to get around Denham. I can’t let him derail my life. And I won’t let him keep me from Gabriella forever.