Chapter 20: Home Again

 

 

ANYTIME WE came home to Castle Lockes, there was always a raucous welcome, the King, Morgan, and my parents all happy and excited to see us return.

This time was no different.

We’d been gone for a long time, far longer than we ever had before.

I didn’t think I could be blamed for the way my eyes burned at the sight of my parents standing next to Pete and the King at the gates to Castle Lockes, the word of our homecoming having spread as soon as we entered the City gates.

“Sam?” Rosemary Haversford said. “Sam?”

And then she was running toward me, dark hair trailing behind her, dress billowing, shoes smacking against the cobblestone. My breath hitched in my chest at her bright smile, the way her wet eyes shone.

She was upon me before I could take another step, her arms wrapped around my shoulders, her head tucked just underneath my chin. I sagged against her as she laughed. “My boy,” she whispered. “My son. Sam. Oh, Sam. You’ve come home.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

I felt a big hand on the back of my neck as Joshua Haversford, my father, leaned forward, pressing his forehead near my ear. “Hello, Sam,” he said in that big voice of his.

“Hi, Dad,” I managed to say.

And it was good.

 

 

I COULDN’T sleep.

It was strange. We’d been on the road for ages, staying in taverns when we could but mostly camping out on the side of the road upon thin blankets as we dozed around a fire, our stomachs grumbling with hunger.

But here I was in my bed, full from a feast in our honor, not having to worry about waking up in a few hours to take my turn on watch, and I was wide-awake, staring at the ceiling.

Ryan was curled next to me, snoring lightly on my shoulder, his legs tangled with mine, arm thrown over my chest. His hair was longer than it’d been for some time, and I knew it’d most likely be shorn off the very next day, bright and early, along with his epic adventure beard, before he met with his knights. They’d line up for his inspection, and he’d have a hardened expression on his face. He’d bark orders at them, growl at them for smudges on their armor or the dullness of their blades. They’d stare straight ahead while he berated them, but they would all know it was an act. He would be happy to be standing in front of his knights again, and they’d be thrilled to have their commander back.

He deserved it.

And he obviously had no problem sleeping, if the drool on my shoulder meant anything.

I closed my eyes again, trying to clear my mind, focusing on the sounds of the castle.

I opened them again minutes later.

I sighed and slid out from underneath Ryan, careful not to wake him.

He rolled over onto my pillow, smacking his lips and sighing. I leaned down and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

He slept on.

The halls of Castle Lockes were mostly empty. I nodded at the knights who stood guard in various entryways, but didn’t stop to talk to them. I was too busy sorting through the tangled web in my head, trying to find a thread to start with, to tug on to see where it would lead me.

I found myself in the gardens, the stars shining down upon me. They didn’t mean to me what they had when I was a child, or even a year ago. Not with everything I knew now. I couldn’t see myself wishing upon them, or at least not in the way I used to. Knowing that the gods were actually listening to me but doing nothing but shuffling me as a pawn upon their cosmic board took a bit of the magic away.

I walked through the plants and flowers until I came upon the hidden entrance toward the rear that led to my mother’s secret garden. I hadn’t been back here in a long time, not since that night before Ryan’s wedding to Justin when I told him that he was my lightning-struck heart, that I thought I loved him. Everything that had followed had been a whirlwind, and I’d been caught up in it.

I pushed my way into the secret garden and—

“My King?”

Good King Anthony of Verania sat on a bench my father had made for my mother, a lantern lit next to him, a book sitting unread on his lap.

“Sam,” he said, mustache twitching as he gave me a small smile. “It is rather late. After all the excitement, I would have thought you’d have dropped off to sleep immediately.”

I shrugged, playing with the hem of my tunic. “Me too. But you know how it goes.”

He nodded sagely. “I do. But mine comes with the curse of age, something you should not be experiencing for quite a long time to come.”

“I suppose.”

He patted the bench beside him. “Come, Sam. I would have you sit with me. It’s been a long while since I’ve had some alone time with you.”

“At least buy me dinner first, Your Majesty,” I teased him as I stepped toward the bench.

He rolled his eyes fondly. “Sit your ass down, Sam.”

I did. He put his arm around me, and I laid my head upon his shoulder. We sat quietly for a while, watching the fireflies dancing in my mother’s garden. Instead of trying to think of everything, I thought of nothing at all, allowing myself to just breathe.

The King spoke first. “Justin told me of your adventures.”

“Did he?”

“Yes.”

“We’re best friends.”

“Are you.”

“5eva. And before you ask, yes, he knows this, because I tell him all the time.”

“Is that right.”

“And as such, I assume he told you how awesome I was and that everything that happened went exactly as I planned and I looked amazing while doing said plans.”

“That… isn’t quite how it came out.”

I sighed. “He gushed and used more superlatives? Gosh, that’s so like him when he talks about me. I’m not a god, King. I’m just a man, no matter what Justin says.”

The King chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for watching out for him.”

“It’s what we do.”

“He’s worried about you.”

I stiffened slightly. “How so?”

“He thinks all of this might be too much for you.”

I tried to pull away from the King, but his arm tightened around me. “No offense, Your Highness, but your son should keep his mouth shut.”

“Unless he’s singing your praises?”

“Precisely. In fact, that’s how it should be for everyone. If you could make that a law, I’d greatly appreciate it. And maybe do something about those We-Hate-Sam-A-Lot posters I saw on the sides of buildings when we came back into the City.”

“Saw those, did you?”

“Yeah. And they wouldn’t have bothered me as much if they hadn’t drawn me as a demon with the bodies of children and puppies littered around me. I mean, I haven’t used children and/or puppies in a spell in at least a month.”

“I have noticed an increase in both children and puppies in the City since your departure.”

“Oh, no worries. I’ll make sure to take care of that now that I’m back.”

“Dissenters often are the loudest because they feel the need to shout,” the King said, squeezing my shoulder. “I hope you know that.”

“Have there been many articles written about me in the paper since I’ve been gone?”

“Oh, yes. Daily.”

“And how many signatures on that petition that demanded my removal as the apprentice to the King’s Wizard?”

“Just under fifty thousand. And I gave it great consideration when it was presented to me before I ultimately vetoed it. Granted, the papers the next day accused you of having bewitched me for your devious plots. There was also the implication that you and I were rather voracious lovers because you had a thing for my mustache.”

“I do have a thing for your mustache,” I said. “I mean, my gods, have you seen it? I demand that you declare it to be a national treasure.”

“I’ll get right on that.”

“See that you do.”

“Have you spelled me to do your bidding?”

“Eh, that seems like a lot of work.”

“I thought as much.”

“Thanks. You know. For the veto thing.”

He snorted. “You’re welcome.”

“Did you even consider it?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“I suppose not. But fifty thousand is a lot of people.”

“It is.”

“I don’t know what I did to make them so angry,” I admitted as I looked down at my hands.

“You exist,” the King said. “You exist and are something that they don’t understand. That is the way of things, Sam. People live their ordered lives. They go day by day. They go to work. They come home. They feed their families. They live in their homes. It is measured. It’s routine. And then you come along, a boy from the slums, plucked seemingly from obscurity toward greatness. You can do things that most others cannot. It is wondrous, but they do not understand. And there is fear in the unknown. For the longest time, they could ignore it because you were just a child. But now you’ve become a man and have found happiness in the love you feel for Ryan Foxheart. Call it what you will, be it jealousy or fear or anger. It means the same thing. You were given gifts that they were not. They are loud, Sam. But they are not the majority. I often find that the will of the people is a quiet thing but one that is capable of amassing into something quite extraordinary. You’ll see. There may be those that are against you, but they will never be everyone.”

“A lot has happened.”

“Has it?”

I nodded slowly. “It didn’t go the way I thought it would. Vadoma. Ruv. The dragons. Myrin. It’s…. I just didn’t expect it to be like this.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know exactly. Just—I thought, maybe, it’d be. You know. Easy. I know you probably don’t realize this, but I get myself into a lot of scrapes.”

“You don’t say.”

“Shocking, right? People like to capture me.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

“Exactly! I mean—wait. You’re insulting me, aren’t you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m worried too,” I said, the words out before I could stop them.

“About?”

“Just… how do I know if I’m doing the right thing?”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“The Great White said I shouldn’t let my heart rule over me.”

“The Great White isn’t the be-all end-all.”

“Isn’t he? The gods said—”

“The gods,” the King huffed. “They sit in judgment and do little else. They have underestimated you, Sam, as I think most everyone else has. They don’t see the scope of your heart. Not like I can. Not like your family can. They don’t know you like we do. We know what you’re capable of. You may have a destiny, Sam, but what you do with it is up to you. And whatever you think is right, you will have my support.”

“I still hate that word.”

“And yet there it is.”

I pressed my face against his chest and breathed him in. “I missed you.”

He kissed the top of my head. “And I you, Sam.”

Sleep was easier after that.

 

 

IT WASN’T until days later that we heard from Randall. Morgan had attempted to reach him via the summoning crystal numerous times since our return to Castle Lockes, but it’d gone straight to a message that said, “You’ve reached Randall’s crystal. I am unable to answer at the moment, either because I am ignoring you or I have fallen and I can’t get up. If this is Morgan, please send help. If this is Sam, I am ignoring you. Have a blessed day.”

“Wow,” I said. “That’s… oddly specific. And rude. Also, why is it the people who tell you to have a blessed day turn out to be the biggest assholes? Have you noticed that?”

Morgan just stared at me from across the labs.

“It’s a thing,” I insisted.

I felt somewhat vindicated when Morgan didn’t send help to see if Randall had fallen.

Granted, any goodwill I’d built up toward Randall went immediately out the window when I opened my eyes in the middle of the night only to find him crouched beside me next to the bed, his face inches from my own, his bulbous nose almost scraping against my cheek.

“Boo,” he said.

I screamed.

Ryan shot up, wearing nothing but the skin he was born with, jumping out of the bed, bits and bobs swinging to and fro as he scrambled for his sword, which was propped against the desk. Once he’d pulled it from the scabbard, he immediately posed and said, “Back away from my beloved, you foul creature of the night, lest you find your head removed from your shoulders!”

Foul creature, Randall mouthed to no one in particular.

“Dude,” I breathed. “You are such a douchebag. I want to ruin you so bad right now.”

Ryan looked slightly bewildered, like he wasn’t sure how he’d ended up where he was. “Sam? What’s happening?”

“You’re making me want to ignore biology and try to get you so fucking pregnant,” I said aggressively.

“Oh my gods,” Randall muttered.

“You brought this upon yourself,” I told him. “For the rest of your life, know that you facilitated in giving me a boner that I am going to stick inside that dashing and immaculate man right—ow, why are you pulling me by my ear! Dude, you’re killing my pregnancy boner!”

Randall pulled me from the room.

“You better be ass up by the time I get back!” I hollered over my shoulder at Ryan. “The things I’m going to do to you when I get back are illegal in Verania and punishable by a fine and at least six months in the dungeons, I shit you not!”

“You will stay in here,” Randall said to Ryan. “Wizards only.”

Ryan gripped the hilt of his sword and took a step forward, but Randall slammed the door and we were already moving down the hall.

“Hi, Randall, nice to see you, Randall. Glad you could make it, Randall.”

Randall ground his teeth together. I thought about telling him how unhealthy that was but figured that it was better to have my ear still attached to my head.

He pulled me down flights of stairs, ignoring my yelps, before he shoved me through the door to the labs. I wasn’t surprised to see Morgan waiting for us, fully dressed, as if he hadn’t yet gone to bed.

“Great,” I said, rubbing my ear after Randall had let me go. “This is just swell. How nice. All of us together again.”

“This is your fault,” Randall told Morgan as he began to pace back and forth. “I warned you against coddling the boy. I told you what would happen if you tried to be his friend. And now look!”

“And I told you that your teaching style would never be mine,” Morgan said mildly, as if he had all the time in the world. “Something that you agreed upon after Vadoma came.”

“He insulted the Great White!” Randall snapped. “Do you understand what that means?”

“Insulted?” I said. “If anyone here is insulted, it should be me! That guy was the world’s biggest asshole.”

“Oh dear,” Morgan said.

“Yes,” Randall said. “Oh dear indeed. Do you know what he’s done?”

“What I’ve done? Now you listen here, you old piece of—wait. How the hell do you know what I’ve done?”

Randall’s enormous eyebrows twitched dangerously. “I had a conversation with the king of fairies.”

I groaned. “Of course. Dimitri. You can’t believe a godsdamn word he says. He is the worst. Okay. Well. Maybe not the absolute worst. It goes Vadoma, then you, then him, then the Great White, then Myrin, then Lady Tina, because there is nothing in this world worse than her. She is my most mortal of enemies, and mark my words, there will come a day when I shall spill her blood upon the earth, and I will rejoice at the act of doing so—”

“Do you see what I mean?” Randall asked Morgan, nodding in my direction. “This is your doing. This reflects upon you.”

“Rude,” I said. “I’ll have you know that Morgan thinks I’m a joy to be around, even if I haven’t completely forgiven him for the whole lying-to-me-about-everything thing.” I looked at my mentor. “I’m getting there, though,” I reassured him.

“Lucky me,” Morgan said.

“What did Dimitri say about me?” I asked Randall. “Because I can tell you right now he’s full of shit!”

Randall glared at me. “He said that the Great White offered you his assistance by requesting something from you in return. And that you refused him. And then insulted him.”

“Oh. Okay. So maybe Dimitri isn’t exactly full of shit, because that’s mostly what happened.”

“I knew it—”

“But that’s not everything,” I said loudly. “And as a sidenote, I can totally see why he was your mentor. You guys are exactly the same.”

“You just said he was the world’s biggest asshole.”

“Oh, did I?” I asked innocently. “Huh. Imagine that.”

“Sam,” Morgan chided gently.

I sighed. “Fine. Yes, he offered to help, and yes, I told him to fuck off—don’t give me that look, I didn’t say it like that. But dude, he totally wanted up on my junk. But not like Kevin wants on my junk, but like, different on my junk. It was no less rapey, but—”

“Sam.”

“Right. Basically, he knew about the marks Myrin gave me without ever seeing them, essentially implied that Randall failed him by taking a cornerstone, said that the both of you were weak for not stopping Myrin when you had the chance, that cornerstones were a lie, and that if I wanted his help, I would have to agree to cut off all contact with everyone I know and go with him for a year to what I assume wouldn’t be a five-star hotel, and he would complete my training, make me a full-fledged wizard without having to pass the Trials, and only then would he agree to join the rest of us in fighting against the Dark wizards.”

Randall gaped at me.

“Did I cover everything?” I asked Morgan.

“I think you did.”

“He is the world’s biggest asshole,” Randall snarled.

“Told you,” I muttered.

“Who the hell does he think he is!”

“Oh, I don’t know. The Great White, your former mentor, the oldest living thing in the world, the final piece of the five-dragon puzzle—and speaking of that, do we really need five dragons? I mean, that just seems excessive. Doesn’t that seem excessive?”

Randall ignored me. “I am going to murder him. Mark my words, I will find him, and I will tear his wings off.”

“Wow,” I whispered. “That was dark. You’re dark.”

Randall whirled on me. “Don’t you dare go after Myrin. Not now. Not yet.”

“Uh. I’m. Not? I don’t even know where he is. And it’s not like I’d go looking for him. I don’t even have a plan yet. I don’t go into things without having a—okay, I totally do, but I’m not going to do that here.”

“What are you going to do?” Morgan asked, sounding alarmed for the first time since Randall had dragged me into the labs.

“I am going to find the Great White and give him a piece of my mind,” Randall snapped. “It’s high time he and I have a conversation.”

I frowned. “But you can’t actually talk to him like I can—right, right, now is not the time to bring that up, you can stop staring at me like that.”

“A cornerstone is everything, Sam of Wilds,” Randall said. “Above all else, you must remember that. Without it, you could fall into darkness.”

“But you and Morgan didn’t,” I said without meaning to.

“What was that?” Randall asked, taking a step toward me.

“Uh. Never mind.”

“Sam,” Morgan said. “Did… did the Great White tell you more than what you’ve already said?”

Have you ever been standing in a lab wearing only pink underwear and socks with bunnies on them while two of the most powerful wizards in all the world stared at you?

Me too.

“Shit,” I squeaked. “Look at the time. I think I’ll just head on back to bed—”

Morgan waved his hand, the door slamming shut before I could get through.

“Sweet molasses,” I sighed.

“Speak,” Randall said.

“I’m not a dog.”

“Sam.”

“Gods, you guys suck. Fine. He said—he said that cornerstones were a lie, that their importance was exaggerated, and that you two survived the loss of yours and didn’t become Dark, so why would I? I mean, there’s no way in hell that I’m going to give up Ryan. Ever. But… he had a point, right? I mean, Morgan, I get why you didn’t. From what you’ve told me, you lived a long and happy life with yours. But… Randall. You… spent so long constructing your magic only to have Myrin—” I shook my head. “I just don’t understand how you didn’t turn Dark.”

“I did.”

I took a step back. “What?”

Morgan sighed and looked away.

Randall bowed his head, shoulders drooping, hair hanging around his face. His liver-spotted hands curled into gnarled fists. He looked ancient. “After Myrin was—after he made the decisions that he did, I was… adrift. There were forces at work upon me that I couldn’t control.” He smiled ruefully, a sharp and brittle thing. “And then I took it upon myself to bring the King of Sorrows back from his madness and… well. It— I shouldn’t have.”

“At least not on your own,” Morgan said sharply.

“Yes. At least not on my own. But I was angry. So very angry, and I thought that I could control it. I was wrong.” He shook his head. “I felt the darkness within me, and I knew that I was on a dangerous path. It took years, and I did my best to mentor Morgan. He succeeded in passing the Trials, though it was more his doing than anything I did. Even still, it became too much, and I banished myself to the North and Castle Freesias to regain control. Those were dark days in which I was convinced I could do the most terrible things with the greatest of ease.”

“Pat and Leslie,” I said slowly. “The mated dragons. They said they were glad to see you healthy and whole.”

“I thought you’d forgotten that,” Randall said. “But yes. They saw me at my worst. And given my bond with the Great White—or at least what remained of the bond—they took it upon themselves to assist my healing. I dreamed for years, Sam. When you have lived as long as I have, a decade can be an hour, and I walked amongst my ghosts. My demons. The anger in all my failings. Morgan did not follow me into the darkness after the passing of his cornerstone, because he was prepared for her to pass beyond the veil. I was not prepared for Myrin’s betrayal. The Great White is a solitary creature who does not understand the necessity that is a cornerstone.”

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” I asked. “The both of you. Because of what Vadoma showed me. With Ryan.”

“We’re always worried about you,” Morgan said. “It’s because we love you.”

“Let’s not go that far,” Randall mumbled.

“I’m not going to let that happen to him,” I said fiercely. “I won’t let Ryan be taken away from me.”

Randall shook his head. “I will go to him. To the Great White. I will find him. I will convince him.”

“Are you sure?” Morgan asked. “He said he never wanted to see your face in this life again. How will you find him?”

“I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeves yet,” the old wizard said. “Sam, you promise me you’ll stay inside the castle until I return.”

“But—”

“Sam.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”

“Morgan, you make sure he keeps that promise.”

“Hey!”

“Go,” Morgan said. “Return when you can. I’ll handle things here.”

There was a sharp crack and Randall was gone.

“Well,” I said in the silence that followed. “That was certainly enlightening. Can I go back to bed now? Or is there any other secret I should probably know about?”

Morgan eyed me warily for a moment. Then, “That’s it.”

I snorted as I turned toward the door. “Why do I have a hard time believing that?”

 

 

RYAN WAS sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me when I returned to our room. He looked up as I shut the door behind me and leaned against it.

“You ever get the feeling that people know more than they’re telling you?” I muttered.

“With wizards? All the time.”

I winced at that. “Yeah. I deserved that.”

He shrugged. “Probably.”

“Would it make things better if I apologized again?”

“Have you apologized at all?”

I blinked. “Haven’t I?”

“Don’t think you have.”

“Oh. Um. Sorry?”

“Heartfelt.”

“Dude, you know I am.”

He sighed. “I know. But it’s still nice to hear it every now and then.”

“I didn’t mean it. I just—I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You always think you’re doing the right thing.”

“Yeah, but I’m awesome like that, so.”

“Why didn’t you go with him?”

I frowned. “With who?”

“The Great White.”

I… didn’t expect that. “Should I have?”

“I don’t know, Sam. I’m asking you. Why didn’t you go? If you knew that you could have gotten him on your side, why didn’t you go?”

“I thought it was obvious.”

“Why don’t you explain it anyway.”

“You did hear the part where he said I had to cut everyone off, right? Leave you all behind? You caught the righteous indignation I tried so hard to portray? If not, I can certainly reenact it for you right now.”

“I did, but you never said why.”

I scowled at him. “Because I can’t do that! I can’t just leave. Gary and Tiggy would fall apart without me. Kevin would probably end up burning down the City. Justin wouldn’t have anyone to braid his hair or talk about boys with. My parents wouldn’t have their son. The King wouldn’t have his favorite apprentice to the King’s Wizard. And then—and then there’s you.”

“What about me?”

I pushed myself off the door and stalked toward him. “You. You’d be the worst of all! You would be a mess without me. Who would tell you that you were posing like a douchebag everywhere you want? Who would make sure that you didn’t fucking curse in front of ten orphans who were looking at you with wide eyes like you had just crushed all their dreams because you were their fucking hero and you couldn’t watch your godsdamn fucking language—”

“I feel like you don’t understand what irony means,” he said, spreading his legs a little so I could step between them. His hands went to my hips.

“I literally know what it means. Like, literally.”

He snorted as he looked up at me. “You’re an idiot.”

I shrugged. “It’s been said by men far greater than you and me. And by lesser men. And now that I think about it, men who are also equal to us. Wow. That’s a stunning revelation to have this late in the game. Am I offended? I think I might be offended.”

“You could have gone with—”

“No. I couldn’t have. I won’t leave you all. And I will never leave you.”

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against my stomach. “Are you sure it’s going to be enough? What we have?”

“One knight, two zany sidekicks, three wizards, and four dragons? Nah, we’re totally screwed.”

He shoved me away.

I laughed at him. “I’m kidding. Gods, it was just a joke.”

“It wasn’t funny.”

“We’ll be fine,” I said, cupping his face in my hands. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. “I promise.”

“Are you sure you don’t want what he offered? Sam, he was going to make you a wizard. It’s what you’ve spent the last decade working toward.”

“Eh. I can do it without him. But I don’t think I can do it without you.”

He sighed. “Mothercracker. That was good.”

“You still mad at me?”

“Not as much as I feel like I should be. How do you do that?”

“I could totally suck on your cock right now if it would make you feel any better about it. Let you fuck my face.”

His eyes were dilated when he opened them. “I could go for that.”

“And notice how I’m not even mentioning how you got rid of the beard.”

“So we’re not including the nonstop complaining over the past four days?”

“I didn’t even get to jizz all over it! It’s a fucking travesty.”

Ryan Foxheart smiled at me, and it was such a radiant thing. “Gods, I love you.”

I grinned back at him, just as bright. “I know. I love you too.”

And later, when he rose above me, back arched, hips rolling as he rode me, I promised myself that I would never let anything tear us apart. Not Myrin. Not the Great White. Not any of the villains of the world.

He was my cornerstone.

Nothing would come between us.