Chapter 23: Stone Crumbles

 

 

I STOOD in front of the Great Doors that led to the throne room in Castle Lockes, willing myself to push them open.

I couldn’t find the strength.

I stood there for a long time.

Pete came, eventually, out a side door to my left.

“Sam?” he said quietly. “They’re waiting for you.”

“I know,” I said, still staring at the doors.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. I didn’t shrug him off. “Do you need more time?”

“I don’t deserve it.”

“What? What don’t you deserve?”

“To be here.”

I could hear the frown in his voice. “Sam, of course you do. He…. Out of everyone in the world, you deserve it the most. He would want you here, Sam. I know it.”

“Randall? Is he…?”

“No, Sam. He isn’t. We…. No one knows where he is. He hasn’t—I’m sure he’s fine. He’ll be back when he can. You’ll see.”

I nodded tightly, staring at my hands pressed flat against the doors. They were smooth and warm against my fingers.

“Do you remember that day in the alley?” Pete asked me quietly. “When you turned the boys to stone.”

I swallowed thickly. “Yeah.”

“I was walking by his side when we left. Do you know what he told me?”

I shook my head.

“I’ll never forget it. He said, ‘That boy is going to do great things, Pete. You mark my words. He is going to do great things.’ Out of all the years I’d known him, never once had I ever heard him speak about someone like that. And Sam, he was smiling when he said it, a smile that I’d never seen on his face before. But I would see it again and again and again for years to come, because that smile was meant for only you. He loved you, Sam. More than anything else in this world.”

I hung my head between my hands, staring down at the nicest robes I owned, blinking rapidly, trying to calm my aching heart.

“So you will do this,” Pete said, not unkindly. “Because even if you don’t think you deserve it, he does. For all the things he’s done for Verania, he deserves the one he loved the most being at his side.”

I nodded.

“Okay. That’s good. This isn’t the end, Sam.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?”

He shook his head. “Take another moment. But give him the respect he’s owed.”

Pete squeezed my shoulder again before he walked back toward the side door. He opened it, and I heard the murmuring of a crowd before he closed it behind himself and left me alone once again.

The star dragon whispered in my head, a memory like a knife wound.

A warning. All of you will not survive until the end. There will be loss, Sam. And it will burn like nothing has ever burned before. You must remember to keep in the light, even when the dark begins to curl around your feet.

I pushed open the doors.

They groaned as they parted.

The thousands of people who stood in the throne room fell silent, turning toward me.

For a brief moment, I thought of running.

Instead, I stepped into the throne room.

I held my head high.

My shoulders squared.

I would not break.

Not in front of them.

There were tears on some of the faces around me.

Others refused to look at me.

Still others stared with open hostility.

They whispered, He did this.

All his fault.

The gods chose him, but they chose wrong.

All his fault.

How could the gods be so wrong?

All his fault.

He is not strong enough.

ALL HIS FAULT.

I pushed those voices away.

Mom and Dad were waiting for me near the front, at the bottom of the raised dais. They hugged me at the same time, and I stood stiffly, trying to focus on the feeling of them against me, nodding at their whispered words of strength and love.

Gary and Tiggy were next. Gary’s lip was trembling, and Tiggy’s eyes were wide and solemn, and I wanted to tell them how sorry I was, that I should have been better than I was.

Gary hung his head over my shoulder.

Tiggy kissed my forehead.

Pete nodded at me as I passed him by.

The doors to the rear of the throne room were open wide, and Kevin hunkered down on the other side, head pushed through. His eyes never left me. For a moment I thought they flickered completely black, and felt a strange pull in my heart, but then it was gone.

Justin stood on the dais, dressed like the king he would one day be.

He raised his hand and clutched my wrist.

I wrapped my fingers around his.

“I promise you,” he said quietly, “I will do everything in my power to help you. Best friends 5eva. Okay?”

I took in a shuddering breath.

He let me go.

My King broke decorum and hugged me tightly against his massive chest. The crowd murmured behind us, but we ignored them. His chin rested atop my head as I sagged against him.

“I know your heart is breaking,” he whispered to me. “But you have my word that I will help you pick up the pieces and put it back together. It may not fit together as it once did, but it will hold. This is my promise to you as your King.”

He pulled away only to cup my face in his hands. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before stepping back.

Which left only the last.

There, upon a raised slab of stone, lay the body of the greatest wizard the world had ever known.

Morgan of Shadows.

His eyes were closed, and his hands were clasped on his chest.

His robes were bright and blue.

On his feet were pink shoes whose ends curled up.

His beard had been brushed and cleaned, little flowers braided into it.

He looked as if he were sleeping, and if it weren’t for his pale skin, I thought I could have convinced myself of exactly that.

But I knew better.

I stood next to the stone slab, my back to the people of Verania.

Vadoma’s vision had been wrong this whole time.

I’d always thought it’d be Ryan Foxheart lying before me, sword clasped to his chest.

As I stood above my mentor, I tried to remember if she’d ever explicitly said my cornerstone would be the one who died.

I didn’t even know if the visions she’d given me had been her own or if Ruv had played a part in them.

I didn’t know that it mattered.

Not now.

I bent over Morgan, pressing a kiss against his forehead. I ignored the single tear that fell from my eye and splashed on his cheek.

And for a moment, I thought of the bird.

It would be so easy.

I could have done it.

It whispered in my head.

Somehow, I pushed it away.

I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I stood back up.

I took my place next to my King, eyes dry, jaw set.

Good King Anthony of Verania spoke of many things that day. He told his subjects of meeting Morgan for the first time, how nervous he had been, only to find that Morgan had accidentally ingested the spores from a Bentati mushroom that very morning and was actively tripping balls. They’d shaken hands, and then Morgan had so eloquently pointed out the colorful smoke that seemed to be pouring out the King’s nostrils.

He spoke of Morgan’s kindness, of how fair he was, and of how much Morgan loved Verania, how he would have done anything for king and country.

He spoke of Morgan’s strength and power, saying that Morgan had never used his magic in an unjust way. That he protected those who could not protect themselves.

He spoke of Morgan’s friendship, and for a moment his voice broke when he said that losing his wizard was like losing a piece of himself, and he knew that no matter how long he lived, no matter what came next, it was a void that could never be filled.

And then he said, “Morgan of Shadows was many things. The King’s Wizard. My friend and brother. A good, just man. He was bright and funny, sarcastic and sassy when he needed to be. He was a protector and wiser than most of us combined. But if there was one thing he was above all else, one thing he believed himself to be above all his other roles, it was this: he was a mentor.”

The gazes of Verania shifted to me.

Damn him.

“Morgan of Shadows gave his life to protect the one he loved above all others,” the King said. “Many of you might not understand why he did what he did. Some of you might downright hate the decisions he made. But know this: Morgan has been by my side for decades. If he were called upon to lay down his life for his apprentice—for Sam—he would do it again, and again, and again.”

I bowed my head, breath hitching in my chest.

“And know that I would do the same,” the King said, voice stern. “Because I know that Sam of Wilds would do the same for me. And if I have my way, as soon as Randall returns, I will be asking him to appoint Sam of Wilds as the King’s Wizard.”

My head shot up as the crowd gasped.

The King extended his hand toward me.

I stared at it.

“Just take it,” Justin whispered in my ear. “Seriously, don’t been an asshole.”

I turned to glare at him.

He rolled his eyes and shoved me toward his father.

This was wrong.

I hadn’t earned this.

I hadn’t passed the Trials.

I’d failed to collect the last dragon.

I hadn’t beaten Myrin.

Randall had disappeared.

Morgan had sacrificed himself for me.

And Ryan….

“I believe in you,” the King said in a quiet voice, hand still held toward me. “That has never wavered. You may not believe in yourself, but I believe in you. I am asking you to trust me.”

For a moment I considered running back the way I’d come.

Instead I took the hand of the King.

He smiled softly at me. I took a step forward to stand at his side.

He said, “Morgan’s sacrifice will not be in vain. The memory of him will never fade. He will be remembered for the man that he was. A wizard. A brother. A mentor. A friend.”

He squeezed my hand.

“Sometimes villains rise. Heroes fall. But we won’t allow those who gave their lives for us to be forgotten. And those that have taken from us, those that have dared to stand before us and strike at our hearts, know this: you have made a grave mistake. Your actions have led to a declaration of war. You have awoken a slumbering beast, and I, as the King of Verania, will harness it to its full potential. This marks the beginning of your end.”

He raised our joined hands, and the people of Verania roared.

I felt like a fraud.

 

 

I WILL do what I can, but he will be stronger than me. You must do what is right, Sam of Wilds. You must do what is necessary, even if your heart is breaking.

 

 

“ANY CHANGE?” a voice asked from behind me.

I didn’t bother turning around, just shook my head. I didn’t want to take my eyes off the unconscious man in front of me. His skin was sallow and his eyes a little sunken. His lips were cracked, but his heart was steady and his breaths even.

“What did the healers say?” Gary asked, rubbing his snout on the top of my head.

I halfheartedly tried to push him away. “That they don’t know when he’ll wake up.” Or if had been implied, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud.

“He be okay,” Tiggy said, going to his knees on the other side of Ryan’s bed in the healing ward in the lower level of the castle. He reached out and brushed a large finger over Ryan’s forehead and the tip of his nose. “HaveHeart for life, motherfuckers.”

“HaveHeart for life,” I echoed hoarsely.

Tiggy hummed a little under his breath.

“Any news from Randall?” I asked.

Gary shook his head. I wasn’t surprised. “It’s only been five days,” Gary said. “He’s going to be fine. He’ll come back when he can.”

“Unless Myrin consumed him too.”

Gary winced, and I almost felt bad about it. “Maybe a little optimism, huh?”

I snorted. “That’s almost funny, coming from you.”

“Yes, well, I try.”

I squeezed Ryan’s hand, willing him to open his eyes, to look up at me and tell me what to do.

He didn’t. The healers said it was possible he could hear us and that talking to or around him helped.

I didn’t really know what to say.

“You eating?” Tiggy asked.

I shrugged.

“You eat,” Tiggy insisted. “Or you die.”

“I’m not going to die because I missed a few meals, dude.”

“I bring you food?”

“You don’t have to—”

“I bring you food.”

“No, really, you don’t have to—and you’re already gone.”

“He’s worried about you,” Gary said.

“He does that.”

“We all are.”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you are, but okay. Keep telling yourself that.”

“Gary. Don’t.”

“Yeah, because that’s ever worked on me before. It’s like you don’t even know me. Tell me don’t and I just make it my mission to do.”

“I don’t need this right now, okay?”

“No,” he said, suddenly sounding as angry as I’d ever heard him. “Not okay, Sam.”

“Gary—”

“It’s not just you.”

I blinked at him.

“It’s not just you that’s hurting,” he repeated fiercely. “We all loved Morgan. We all love Ryan. Maybe not in the same way as you do, but just as much. You have locked yourself away to the point where I can’t tell what you’re thinking. You’ve never been like that before. It’s not fair that you do that to us. Not now. Not after everything.”

“Not fair? Are you out of your godsdamn mind? Do you want to talk about fairness, Gary? Fairness is—”

“Sam, I am a hornless gay unicorn in my late seventies. Do you really think I am going to start taking your bullshit now? Because if you do, honeybunch, you are sorely mistaken. I have not put nearly a decade of work into you to have you start acting like a fucking dickbag. I won’t stand for it. I really will not.”

“But—”

“Shut it.”

“You can’t just—”

“Sam. Shut. It.”

“Oh my gods. I hate you so much right now.”

“Keep telling yourself that, princess.”

“I’m not a fucking princess.”

Gary rolled his eyes. “This is what’s going to happen. In a minute, you are going to hug me and you are going to cry. You are going to let it all out, because that’s what you need. And once that’s all done, you are going to eat the food that Tiggy brings you, and then you are going to go to bed. You will sleep all fucking night, and if I have to sit by your bed to make sure it happens, then I will. And then tomorrow, we are going to get up, we are going to be sad over the friends that we’ve lost, and we are going to have hope for those that are still here. And then, when an appropriate amount of time has passed, we are going to smile again, we are going to laugh again, and we are going to find Myrin and kick his ass so godsdamn hard that he forever regrets fucking with us. And when all is said and done, we are going to find my fucking horn, because I am sick and tired of having this bony fucking nub on the top of my head, do you understand me?”

I nodded dumbly.

“Good. Now. Let go of your sexy knight for a little bit so we can begin.”

I set Ryan’s hand at his side.

I turned around.

Gary was there, big and warm, and when I hugged him, when I wrapped my arms around his neck, I did exactly what he asked of me.

I cried.

For Morgan.

For Randall.

For Myrin.

For Ryan Foxheart, the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.

Tiggy came back eventually, and he gathered both of us in his arms, whispering how much he loved us, how he would always be there to take care of us, and please, Sam, please don’t be sad.

We stayed there, together, for a long time.

Eventually I ate.

Eventually I slept.

I dreamed of Randall. He told me I had to do what was necessary.

 

 

“IT WON’T hold me,” Ruv said.

I looked through the bars of his cell in the dungeon. It was one of the cells in the very back, the ones meant for wizards. It dampened their magic. He was neutered. Useless.

“It’s doing a pretty good job so far,” I said dryly.

“He won’t let it. Eventually he’ll come for me.”

“Maybe,” I said. “And maybe he’ll even get you. But it won’t be for long.”

Ruv smiled at me. “I liked you. I really did. I think… well. I thought there could be something between you and I.”

“Eh. Couple of things against that. One, I already have a cornerstone. Two, you’re a villain with a mouthful of crazy. Kind of knocks you out of the running, dude.”

“Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

“Doubtful. What’s Myrin’s plan?”

The smile widened. “To burn Verania to the ground and then rise from its ashes like a phoenix of old. It will be remade in his image. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

“Watch me.”

His smile faltered.

He took a step back.

I turned and walked away.

“You’ll see, Sam!” he shouted after me. “Soon, you will witness what he is truly capable of.”

And then he laughed.

 

 

“WE’LL FIGURE it out,” Dad said, arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“Together,” Mom said, placing her hand on my knee.

Even if your heart is breaking, I thought.

 

 

“I CAN’T be what you need me to be,” I said. “Not yet. It would be better if it was Randall. For now.”

“Randall’s not here,” the King said, a frown on his face.

“He will be,” I said. “I’m not ready. There is still so much I need to learn.”

“I believe in you, Sam,” the King said, taking my hand in his. “I always have. And I always will.”

My heart was very full, and I couldn’t find the words to tell him so.

 

 

A PAGE delivered a sealed note.

It was brief.

The script was flowery, written in pink ink.

I’ll find a way to make this right.

Lady Tina DeSilva

 

 

“YOU’RE PLANNING something,” Justin said, staring at me suspiciously.

I shrugged. “I’m always planning something.”

“What are you going to do?”

I looked away. “Would you….”

“What is it?”

“If something were to happen to me, would you—just. Could you keep an eye on Ryan? For me?”

“Sam,” he said slowly. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

I smiled at him. It felt thin and brittle. “Yeah. I know.”

He hugged me then. Out of nowhere. It was a fierce thing, his arms around me tight and strong, his chin on my shoulder.

It took me a moment, but eventually I hugged him back.

“Dude,” I whispered. “Best. Hug. Ever.”

“Shut up, Sam,” he muttered near my ear. “Yeah. I’ll keep an eye on him. But you’d better not do anything stupid, you hear me?”

“Because we’re best friends 5eva?”

For a moment, I didn’t think he’d respond. But then he said, “Fine, yes, best friends 5eva, gods, I will never say that again.”

I loved my Prince.

 

 

I STOOD in the empty labs.

They echoed with the ghosts and memories of my mentor.

The greatest wizard who had ever lived.

I wiped my eyes.

I didn’t have time to mourn.

Not now.

I took what I needed, filling a small pack. It wasn’t much. I didn’t think it needed to be.

I was about to leave when something caught my eye.

I stopped, unsure of what to do.

Morgan was gone.

So they would be mine now. I didn’t even know how Myrin’s came to be here. Probably Randall’s doing.

I didn’t want them.

But I thought I needed them anyway.

After a brief moment of hesitation, I made up my mind.

The pack was heavier with the Grimoires inside.

I shut the door to the labs behind me.