I couldn’t pay attention to anything that was said during the meeting. I could only look at Jared. How handsome and commanding he was at this meeting. How authoritarian he was with the people around him, whom he treated like subjects. At the conclusion of the meeting, he left the room, followed by his cousin. He didn’t even look at me. It was like he didn’t know me, and that made me sad. Maybe it was for the best. I’d forget about him soon.

I was very down the rest of that day. I even accepted Jeffrey’s daily request to have lunch in a restaurant nearby. It was that or continue to be alone, since I was almost reduced to talking to the walls of my apartment. I felt really lonely since I didn’t seem to fit in the company. They were very different people and they didn’t seem inclined to accept me. Some of them were even hostile to me. They judged me in part because I was hired by the president, in part because the guests from the party had told them I was a Moroccan prostitute... that I was part of a harem trained to serve men who wanted me. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t make any friends and Jeffrey became the salvation in my sea of loneliness.

It was pleasant having lunch with him. He looked very different from the man who harassed and fucked every girl in the country house. He was kind, intelligent, talkative, and made me feel so good I felt like having dinner with him.

Soon, I realized that Jeffrey wasn’t as bad as I thought at all. He was just overly excited about having the Moroccan girls at his disposal. We started going out every day. We had lunch and dinner together and, sometimes, we even walked around the town. He never tried anything with me. He really was waiting for my fake pregnancy to be over.

Weeks later, I was completely comfortable in his presence and I thought of him as a good friend. After all, he was the only one I had, although I knew he wanted to be more than just a friend. At noon, on a Friday, we had lunch together at the restaurant we went to everyday, near the company. It was an elegant and comfortable place, frequented by the executives at Harrington Company. We headed to the table we usually occupied in the back of the restaurant, when a feminine voice called Jeffrey. It was Erica. She was sitting beside Jared at another table. They were so close they didn’t look like just cousins.

My heart beat fast and I felt butterflies when I looked at that man, just as it did every time we met, but he never spoke to me again nor looked at me. It was like he didn’t know me.

“Hey, Jeffrey. Come sit with us.” Erica was excited and Jeffrey agreed, pulling me with him by the hand.

“You can’t do stuff after lunch. It’s bad after eating.” Jeffrey said with irreverence and Erica smiled. Jared remained serious, observing Jeffrey holding my hand. He certainly was happy, because he thought Jeffrey always did what he wanted.

I went pale. So, Jared had an affair with his cousin. Really?

“Let’s not say anything stupid. We’re just having lunch.” Erica said.

We sat comfortably in front of them, Jeffrey in front of Erica while I was in front of Jared. I avoided looking at him, because we were so close. I didn’t want him to notice how much it affected me. However, it was impossible to avoid it after the greetings and jokes between Jeffrey and Erica. We ordered chicken salad for lunch and they started an excited conversation in which Jared and I didn’t take part.

“What are you thinking about your new job?” Jared asked. His voice was hoarse and masculine, in a volume only I could hear.

I faced him and that was enough for my body to react. I felt the desire inside me, making me alive and hotter. Was it a psychological thing? Wanting a man who didn’t want me?

“I’m loving it.” I tried to look indifferent, but it was far from it. “I like the internet and computers. I think I’m in the right place.”

“What about the apartment? Do you like it?”

“Yes, a lot. At first, I thought it would be hard to sleep alone, but I got used to it.”

He drank a little of his water while looking from Jeffrey and then to me. It was obvious that he e had just realized we weren’t sleeping together. I wished I could read thoughts, so I could know his.

“What about the doctor? Are you going to the appointments?”

I was pale again, and I thanked Allah because the food had just arrived. I’d have time to think about what to say.

“Yes, I went once. Everything ok with the baby.” I lied while putting some chicken inside my mouth.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going?” Jeffrey asked, in absurd intimacy. “I’d have gone with you.”

“I didn’t want to be a bother.” I felt awkward.

“You two are so cute together.” Erica observed from across the table. She acted like she was talking to a couple of furry puppies. “It seems like you’re meant to be. Don’t they, Jared?”

“Yes, they’re very cute.” I could hear the sarcasm on his voice.

“Tomorrow there’s a tennis tournament at the club. Everyone will be there and I want you to come, Inaya.” Erica said, a little snobbish.

“I don’t know if I can.” Of course, I could. I had nothing better to do on Saturday, but if Jeffrey didn’t call me, it’s because he didn’t want me there, or he didn’t intend to go.

“I was going to ask you this afternoon,” he said quickly, like he was reading my thoughts. “I’d like you to come with us. It will be fun. I always got beat by Jared, but I still have fun.”

“In that case, I’ll go.” I agreed.

It seemed like a joke, but that lunch was the most exciting moment of my life since I came to Seattle, because I could be face to face with Jared again. Being able to talk to him without being treated with cold indifference was great. It’s a shame that it didn’t last, and too soon we went back to work.

In the evening, Jeffrey and I went to a magnificent rock concert, and he tried to kiss me for the first time since we start going out together. It happened during a romantic song, when couples got closer together and we did the same. He whispered parts of the song in my ear with some sentences he created, saying how much he wanted me. I fell for the rhythm and romance, and before I realized it, we were kissing. It wasn’t bad. Although my body didn’t react like it did to Jared. It was pleasant, but mainly for the intimacy we shared.

When he took me back to the apartment, he kissed me again in the car, before I went up. I didn’t deny him. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t like Jeffrey enough to let something happen between us, but I was letting it go on. Maybe it was a consequence from my bitter loneliness.