He finally put one of his hands under my blouse and pushed his finger into my bra, caressing below my breast very softly and making my tongue tremble inside his mouth. That’s when Jared stepped back and suddenly let me go, leaving me devastated.

“Don’t tell me we can’t do it,” I said, breathing heavily.

There was fire in Jared’s eyes, but he turned his back on me. He took deep breaths, like he was trying to regain control.

“You know we can’t. how many times do I have to tell you?” he said, gruffly.

“But I want you.” I was practically begging. This was ridiculous.

“I want you too, Inaya. You can’t even imagine how much.” He looked at me. “I think about you every day. The vision of you naked in my pool is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. You don’t have any idea of the things I’d do to you, but I can’t take what my brother desires. Nothing will happen between us. Ever.”

His words were so final that I felt like crying and making a scene, but what good would it do? I was offering myself, insisting that he take me to bed and that was shameful.

Jared wasn’t the only man on earth. I’d find someone eager to be with me, someone who wanted me and it wouldn’t be Jeffrey. This was a certainty. A second certainty, in that moment, was that I’d never try anything with Jared again; it would be ridiculous. Where was my dignity?

“It’s a shame you think like that. It could have been wonderful, but you can rest assured I won’t try anything again. Never again.” I was firm in my resolve.

He opened his mouth to say something, but he changed his mind. He faced me for a moment and finally said: “It’ll be better this way.” He took his wallet from his trousers, took some dollars and handed them to me. “This is for your expenses until you get your first paycheck. The first month’s rent is already paid. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to speak with me or Jeffrey.”

“Ok, I will. “At this point, I just wanted him to leave. I was too embarrassed, too ashamed at being rejected twice.

“Tomorrow, my secretary will pick you up and show you the way to the company offices. She’ll also explain your job and schedule a doctor for your pre-natal care.”

I shuddered when he mentioned the doctor.

“Ok.”

He looked at me carefully, his black eyes stared at my face like he was trying to memorize it and take it with him, making me understand we would spend another month without seeing each other. After all, he was the president of the company, limiting employee access to him. That made my heart beat faster, but maybe it was better this way.

Without another word, Jared turned around and left, leaving me with a strange sensation of emptiness, However, I was too excited to let his rejection or any other thing ruin my day.

I was alone in my new apartment, and I couldn’t believe it was only mine. I rearranged things to suit me, unpacked and prepared some mac and cheese for dinner. While having dinner, I called my uncle Jamal on the webcam. Only then did I realize how much I missed him and my family. He was happy for me when I told him everything that was happening, but made me worry when he told me my fiancé was more obsessed about my search every day. He had already hired a detective to find me. I’m glad I left Morocco, and my real name hadn’t been used on any document. He’d have difficulty finding me in the US.

I thought I would be afraid of for sleeping alone in this place for the first time, but I wasn’t. On the contrary, I had a wonderful night.

The next day, as Jared had instructed me, I was ready at seven, wearing one of the fine dresses I found in the wardrobe. It was blue and squared on the cleavage, with a belt on the waist and an over-the-knee skirt. I didn’t have a hijab that color, so I put a black one. Black goes with everything.

I was finishing breakfast when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and found a tall, thin woman with short, red hair, wearing a blazer and skirt. She was so elegant and beautiful that not even the glasses she wore could make her less pretty.

“Hello. I’m Alice, Mr. Harrington’s secretary.” She said while examining me. “You really think you’ll need this scarf over your head?” She talked about the hijab for a brief time and it made me uncomfortable.

“Well, I’m not used to going out without it.”

She entered the apartment, as if she already knew it.

“Well, get used to it. You won’t use it in a multinational company. Go take it off and brush your hair.” She looked at me appraisingly. “The dress is great, although I think it would be better with the high heels I bought for you.”

“I can’t wear high heels.”

“You’ll learn to. Now that you work at Harrington Company, you need to be elegant. Come on, we have ten minutes,” she finished while checking her watch.

I hurried to the room, got rid of the hijab and brushed my hair, letting it fall over my shoulders. I wouldn’t wear high heels, I’d keep my shoes because I knew I wouldn’t go far without them.

“Too long!” Alice complained when I appeared, already heading to the door. “Now we only have five minutes and I haven’t even bought Mr. Harrington his coffee.” We entered the elevator and she didn’t stop talking. “Pay attention on the way to the company, because I’m only picking you up today. Tomorrow you’ll have to find your own way to work and back by yourself. Your job is to help Mr. Harington’s secretary. She’ll tell you what to do.”

“I’ll be your assistant?”

She rolled her eyes. “No. I’m Jared Harrington’s secretary. You’ll help Jeffrey Harrington’s secretary.

“I thought I’d serve coffee. At least that was what Jared told me.”

“Never call him Jared inside the company. Nor Jeffrey. They’re both Mr. Harrington and you’ll have to guess which one people are talking when they’re mentioned. Every time you go to the office, buy Mr. Harrington’s coffee in the cafeteria in front of the building. He likes it black and no sugar. I’ll buy the President’s.

Outside the building, the unbearable cold bit into me, making me hold my arms around my body and shake. I thought I would freeze.

“Where is your coat?” she asked.

“I forgot it. I didn’t think it was that cold.”

She rolled her eyes again. “Oh, God. I need to a raise,” she complained. “It’s always cold in Seattle, at least compared to Morocco. From now on take it with you. right now, we have no time to go back. And don’t forget to memorize the way.”

I didn’t care about what she said or thought about me; nothing could ruin the happiness I felt in that moment to be able to walk on the streets without a veil for the first time without people judging me. I felt an indescribable freedom.

We stopped by the cafeteria and bought two coffees, then, we went inside the building across the street. It was the most incredible building of them all, very tall and mirrored. It was intimidating. Inside, in the enormous main lobby luxury and sophistication was reflected every detail. People acted just like Alice: all the men and women were elegantly dressed, and hurrying to the elevators, as were we.

We shared the elevator with several executives for several floors, until it was just the two of us. At last, we reached our destination, the next to last floor. There were three double doors with dark tinted glass around a very stylish room with comfortable couches and armchairs.

“We’re here,” Alice said. “Mr. Harrington’s office is that one.” She pointed to one of the doors. “His secretary, Sheila, might already be there. Introduce yourself and ask about the duties of your job; she’ll orient you. This is Ms. Young’s office. She’s Mr. Harrington’s cousin. She’s with the financial department. Mr. Harrington’s office, where I work and the meeting room is located, is on the roof. Never go there unless you are requested. If you need anything, talk to Sheila. She’s your supervisor. I think that’s it for now.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. Work.”

She gave me Jeffrey’s coffee and went inside the elevator to the last floor, while I went inside the room where I was supposed to work. I was jealous of her, because she would be around Jared the entire day.

Behind the doors, there was a small room for guests, where I found two desks with a computer and an office phone. A beautiful blond woman, as pretty as a porcelain doll, was at one of the desks. She wore an elegant black dress. There was also another door, which, I believed, led to Jeffrey’s room.

“Hello, I’m Inaya,” I said shyly when I walked inside.

“Oh, yes. The Moroccan girl.” She had a sharp, but soft voice and inspected me from feet to head. Then, she pointed to the other desk. “That is your desk. Nobody really explained what you’ll be doing here, but I think you’ll be helping me. So, please, be quiet and don’t disturb me until I ask you to do something.”

’Holy fuck! She was so nice.’

“Ok. This is Mr. Harrington’s coffee. What should I do with it?”

“Leave it here. I’ll give it to him myself.” She pointed to her own desk, where I left the coffee.

I sat at my desk, without knowing exactly what to do, while she typed on her computer, completely focused and unaware of me. I had a million questions, but as she told me to stay quiet until I received an order, I didn’t say anything.

It didn’t take long for Jeffrey to walk in, wearing a suit and tie and carrying a leather bag. His hair was still wet and he smelled like lotion. He had a perfectly healthy face; it didn’t look like he’d spent the day before, and maybe the evening, drinking and doing drugs.

“Good morning, Sheila. Hello, Inaya. Can you come to my office so we can talk?” He looked more serious than usual.

“Of course.”

I got up and followed him into the room. Sheila looked daggers at me. Maybe she was his lover and was jealous of me. Would Alice be Jared’s lover too? I didn’t doubt it.

The office was as big as the apartment I lived in. the decor sober with gray chairs in the center, expensive paintings on the walls and a large desk, that stood before a glass wall. From here, we could see the various skyscrapers in the center of the misty city.

“Sit.” He pointed to the chair in front of him and I sat. “I want to apologize for what happened yesterday on the country house. Those guys aren’t my friends anymore, they were part of a past I want to forget. I think I drank too much yesterday, although that was no excuse for me to call them and ask for drugs. It wasn’t thoughtful at all.”

“Unfortunately, your lack of consideration hurt the girls and it could have been worse had I not intervened. It’s not me you should apologize to, but to them.”

“I’ll do that. I don’t know when, because I don’t know when I will go back there, but I don’t want you to think badly of me. I’m not like them. I’d never hurt a woman or do something she didn’t want.”

I don’t know why, but I didn’t believe it. Maybe I just didn’t like him. “I don’t have a bad impression of you.” I lied.

“That’s good. Now, what do you think about your new job and apartment?”

“I love the apartment. It’s more than I’ve ever dreamed about. I still don’t know what to say about the job, because I just got here and haven’t done anything yet.”

“No mystery. You just have to help my secretary. Jared wanted you to serve water and coffee at the meetings, but I thought you deserved something better.” He was proud of himself.

“Thanks, then.”

“Would you like to have dinner with me? I can take you to see the city.”

It was too good to be true! He wouldn’t have given me a good position unless he had ulterior motives. Really, I’d rather serve coffee than have to tell him off every time he tried to take me to bed.

“Thanks, but it won’t be possible.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

He leaned forward, staring closely at me. “Inaya, I believe you’ve already noticed how interested I’m in you. It’s not just sex and I’m willing to wait for as long as necessary, but if there’s another person or something that keep you from giving me a chance, just tell me.”

“There’s nobody, Jeffrey. I just need time. Everything is new for me, I’m still confused with everything and I need focus to adapt.”

“Will I ever have a chance?”

Pfft! It was like a kidnapper asking a sniper if he’d shoot if he tried to escape with a gun in his hands. He was cornering me. He was virtually telling me I should have sex with him to have that job. Everything that was good didn’t last and this job was no different. I’d have to hurry and find another place to run away.

“Only time will tell.” That was my answer.

At this moment, a very beautiful woman, with long blond hair and eyes so blue that they looked like two jewels entered the room. She was as elegant as everyone there, wearing a tight dress.

“Hello. So, this is your Moroccan girl.” She came closer to us. “Get up, dear. Let me see the girl who drove my cousin crazy.

“Stop it, Erica,” He reproached her without much conviction.

I felt my face burning while I got up. She examined me.

“Now I understand why he went nuts over you. You’re very cute.”

“Inaya, this is my cousin, Erica.”

“Nice to meet you.” I demurred.

“It’s great to have you here. Know that I’m not prejudiced against Muslim people.”

“Thanks. I also don’t have prejudices with non-Muslim people.”

Jeffrey laughed as Erica’s smile faded.

“Am I free to go, Mr. Harrington?”

“Please, call me Jeffrey, and yes, you may go.”

I left the room, knowing if looks could kill, I’d be dead. Of course, each of them had a different reason.

The job at the company was very similar to the administrative auxiliary job I did at the university with my uncle, only Sheila was much bossier. She was arrogant and impatient every time I sat down, because nearly every time I did, she told me to go pick up documents or fetch coffee. Still, I liked working there, being productive, and having access to the internet. I lived so close that I was one of the few employees who could have lunch at home. It was wonderful to walk on the streets without a veil. I’d never felt freer.

I spent the day wishing I could see Jared. Hoping that I could bump into him in the hall when Sheila attended a meeting, but I didn’t happen. I didn’t see him even once. It was agony knowing he was on the roof, so close to me, but at the same time, so distant, since I couldn’t go there.

On Tuesday, I felt the same. I worked the entire day wishing I could see him, but nothing. He really put me in this position to avoid seeing me until one day when we were summoned to the big meeting room.

The meeting room on the top floor was already filled with executives seated around the table, that stood before a glass wall with a beautiful view, when we arrived. I recognized some men among them who were at the country house party, including that damn skinny guy who tried to force me. Jared wasn’t there, but he arrived soon after. He was as handsome as a vision, wearing his custom tailored-suit, brushed hair and perfectly trimmed beard. He was so handsome and attractive I couldn’t look away. He hypnotized me. He glanced at me very quickly and feverishly, and greeted me with a nod. That was all. He didn’t look at me again, and once more I felt invisible.