No One Knows (Queens of the Stoneage)
Winter UK
“This is the best flat we’ve seen all day, Lily. What do you think?” Eve asked when the estate agent ducked outside to answer a call on his mobile phone. The flat was in a beautiful, converted Victorian terrace on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The ceilings were high and the large, original sash windows let in lots of light, making the small but perfectly formed space feel bright and airy.
Lily sighed. “Yeah, it’s small but I don’t suppose I need anything bigger.”
Putting an end to her travels, she had decided to return to Scotland and begin the arduous task of finding work. She had several interviews lined up and a string of excellent references under her belt thanks to the work she’d done in Australia, New Zealand, and other countries she had visited. She was determined to do well at… Well, whatever she ended up doing. It would become her life and her main distraction.
Being back in Scotland caused a mixture of emotions to bubble to the surface for Lily. Eve and Adam were loving being in their new home and had initially insisted on Lily moving in with them until she found a place to live. Finding somewhere had now become a matter of urgency. Being under the same roof as the loved-up couple was difficult to bear. As much as she loved that Adam was happy, hearing him make love to Eve through the not-so-thick walls was the worst kind of torture. She knew they were holding back and trying to be quiet but why should they? It was their house after all. She felt so very uncomfortable.
The estate agent returned to the lounge of the one bedroom flat. “So Miss Macrae, what do you think?”
Lily looked at Eve who nodded encouragingly. “Where do I sign?”
♥♥♥
The two friends sat opposite each other in their favourite city centre coffee house. Eve opened her mouth to speak but seemed hesitant.
Lily took a sip of her vanilla latte. “What’s wrong, Eve?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.
“Look, Lily… I hope you don’t think we’re trying to get rid of you. You’re welcome to stay at our house as long as you need, you know.”
“It’s fine honestly. I want to get out of your hair. You two need your space. You’re planning a wedding, and as much as I love Adam and you, I think I need my own space too.”
“As long as you didn’t sign up for the flat because you feel pressured to leave. It’s not necessary. There’s no pressure. You haven’t been back long, and I’m just worried that being alone will give you too much time to think about Bodie.”
Lily paused with her cup halfway to her lips. She hadn’t discussed what had happened between her and Bodie with Adam and Eve for reasons obvious only to herself, but of course they were concerned that she had suffered a broken heart. She had of course, but not at the hands of Bodie and not really through anyone’s fault.
She closed her eyes for a second and tried to compose herself. “Bodie and I parted as friends, Eve. It really is fine. We just… we wanted different things. He wanted a commitment and I wasn’t ready for that with him. That’s all. We parted so that he could move on and do his chef apprenticeship. It was what he wanted and he needed to concentrate without worrying about me and whether we had a future.” This was the most she had opened up since her return. She had tried to avoid talking about the situation and had been quickly changing the subject any time the matter arose.
Eve nodded. “I see… And you’re sure you’re okay? I mean really okay?”
Lily smiled and for a moment forgot who she was out with. Big mistake. “I’m really okay. Bodie is a great guy. He has a lot to offer a woman and I don’t want him waiting around for me forever when I’m still in l—” She stopped mid-sentence, a feeling of panic washing over her at her almost slip of the tongue. She could feel her cheeks burning, a dead giveaway. “Wh-when I’m in no position to offer what he needs.” Lily’s eyes darted to Eve whose eyes were wide for a split second, but then Eve re-arranged her pretty features into a smile and nodded looking down at the table. Had she realised? Oh shit, that’s not good. Not good.
Eve lifted her gaze and unreadable emotions clouded her vivid blue eyes. A sad smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she leaned across the small table to squeeze Lily’s arm. “As long as you’re okay, Lily. A broken heart can be tough to get through alone.”
♥♥♥
Adam was in the kitchen making dinner when he heard the girls arrive home. Eve appeared in the kitchen and slipped her arms around Adam’s waist.
He turned to face her and enveloped her in his embrace. “Well hello there, sexy. How are you?” He leaned down and kissed her passionately.
She smiled when the kiss ended. “I’m better now.”
Adam looked down at her and furrowed his brow. “Better now? What do you mean? Is everything okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, yes, everything’s fine. Just ignore me.”
Filled with concern, he wouldn’t let it go. “Come on, Evie, I know when something’s bothering you. Tell me.”
She shook her head. “It’s fine honestly. I love you Adam…more than anything. You know that, don’t you?”
He slipped his hands into her hair, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks. “Of course I do. Is there something you need to tell me?”
“No, everything’s fine. It’s nothing… Oh, Lily found a flat though.” She changed the subject and Adam knew that’s what she was doing, but decided not to push her further.
“Oh great. When does she move in?”
She whispered loudly, “Adam! You can’t ask things like that.”
He chuckled. “What? Why? I’m just interested.”
Eve glanced over her shoulder and then back to Adam. “Yes, well, I don’t want her feeling like she has to leave if she’s not ready.”
He chewed his lip before speaking. “Why? What makes you think she’s not ready? What has she said?”
She sighed. “She hasn’t said anything, Adam. I just… Well, I don’t know, but I just think things are harder for her than she’s letting on, that’s all.”
Adam wondered what had been said while they were out. Clearly something had. “Should I talk to her?”
Eve gasped and shook her head. “No! God, no. That’s the last thing she needs right now. Just let her be and if she wants to talk she’ll talk. Just don’t pressure her about moving out, okay?”
Adam rested his forehead on Eve’s. “I wasn’t going to, sweetheart, but you’re worrying me now.”
She placed her hands on his chest. “No need for worry. Just…I don’t know…don’t be your usual brash self around her, okay?”
Adam sulkily stuck out his bottom lip. “Aww, you’re spoiling all my fun. But okay…I won’t.” He kissed her again, still feeling puzzled.
♥♥♥
Lily lay on the bed in the room she was borrowing at Adam and Eve’s home. The way Eve had looked at her when they were at the coffee house preyed on her mind.
She knew.
Something told Lily that Eve had seen right through her, and now Lily felt, more than ever, that she had to leave as soon as possible. She had to get out of there. How could she possibly stay now? Okay, so nothing had been confirmed, but the knowing look in Eve’s eyes…
What if she says something to Adam? Shit! No…no surely she wouldn’t. And what if she starts to act differently around me? Oh nooo. This is not good, Lily. Not good.
She wanted things to remain as they were and was terrified of awkwardness. The thought of Eve being upset with her made her heart sink and her stomach tie up into knots. There was a gentle knock on the door.
“Come in,” her voice croaked.
“Hey, are you okay?” Eve asked as she pushed the door open.
Lily sat upright. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Just a bit bushed still, I suppose.” She forced a smile.
“Look…Lily…you don’t have to move out right away you know. Really, you don’t. You and Adam have been best friends for so long it’s like having part of the family staying with us. I don’t want you to feel—”
“Honestly, Eve it’s fine. Like I said before, you guys need your space and I really do need mine, too. It’ll do me good to get sorted somewhere, and then I can really start looking for work in earnest. I’m fine, so please stop worrying. I hate that I’m causing you to worry.”
Eve bit her lip and nodded and seemed to hesitate before speaking again. “Lily…erm…”
Lily’s heart pounded in her chest and she gulped. “What is it?”
Eve smiled and shook her head. “It’s…it’s nothing. Dinner’s ready.”
“Okay, I’ll be right down.”
Eve turned to leave but paused and looked back toward Lily. “I consider you my best friend, too, Lily.” Her voice was just above a whisper. Lily swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak but no words came.
Eve left the room and closed the door.