She’s My Best Friend (Lou Reed)
Once their food was ordered, Adam and Jessica sat in a shy silence. He glanced up and met with her curious gaze.
She blushed and leaned forward when he caught her watching him. “Adam, can I ask you a very straightforward question?”
He cringed and fiddled with his napkin. “Hmm, if I say no you’ll think I’m an arse but if I say yes I may not want to answer…tricky…go on then.” He held his breath.
“Why did you attend the singles night?”
Okay that was direct.
He cleared his throat. “Erm, my friend, Lily…my best friend actually, signed me up to an online dating website, but I didn’t feel right doing things that particular way. It’s like that woman said last night…better to meet people face to face straight off.”
Jessica narrowed her eyes. “You have a female best friend?”
He chuckled. “Why does everyone seem so surprised by that?”
She tilted her head to one side. “Do you and she have history?”
“Well, considering I’ve known her since primary school, yes, we have a hell of a lot…why do you ask?”
She shook her head. “No, I mean a history in the romantic sense not just history-history.”
He began to feel uncomfortable and fidgeted in his seat. “No…and don’t take this the wrong way, but why is that in any way relevant? It’s not really any of your business.”
She blushed again. “I’m sorry…look…I’ll tell you why. My last boyfriend was supposedly in love with me. We went out for four years, but I still found him in bed with his female best friend.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “Suffice it to say I’m not a big fan of the whole female best friends thing.”
He puffed out his cheeks on a huff of air. “Well, maybe I’m wasting your time here, Jessica.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Lily and I are very close. She’s my rock and she helped me through a very rough time last year.” He glanced up to see Jessica listening intently. Perhaps explaining things would help her to understand why he needed Lily in his life. “My…my wife was killed in a…she was… A drunk driver hit her and she was killed instantly.” He struggled to get the words out. It was a long time since he’d had to explain.
Jessica gasped and her hand covered her mouth. “Oh, Adam, I am so sorry, that’s terrible. How…awful.”
He saw tears forming in her eyes. “Yes…yes it was.” He swallowed his own emotions down along with the lump that had become lodged in his throat. “Lily was there through the whole thing. When I needed consoling, she was there. When I needed a shoulder, she was there. When I needed a kick up the arse, she delivered the blow. She’s the one who’s been encouraging me to meet someone and get on with my life. And as hard as that is, I’m young and I can’t live in the past. If it wasn’t for Lily, I’d probably have jumped off a cliff by now.”
Jessica nodded. “How come you and Lily didn’t get together then? You know…instead of you going to singles nights. She sounds amazing.”
He smiled affectionately as he thought about Lily. “She is amazing…but she doesn’t think of me that way.”
“And you?”
Adam narrowed his eyes. “And me what?”
“Do you think of her that way?”
He paused for a few moments as he considered her question. “There was a time back before university when I felt…something…but it was fleeting and it was clear that she didn’t feel the same, and so I got over it. We both moved on and now we’re family to each other.”
“So you told her how you felt back then? And she said she didn’t feel the same?”
He was getting increasingly frustrated and felt like he was under interrogation. “No… I never mentioned it. I didn’t need to. Look, Jessica, I don’t mean to be rude, but I feel under scrutiny here, or like you’re psychoanalysing me. I don’t understand.”
“Please, just humour me. I’m fragile and uneasy knowing any potential boyfriend… God that sounds so immature…any possible love interest… God that’s even worse… Okay, let’s just say that I’m uncomfortable with your relationship with Lily, and until I feel comfortable I don’t feel able to move forward with you even though I like you. I’m trying to be honest.”
He rubbed his brow again. “But don’t you think this is all a bit intense for a first proper meeting?”
She sighed. “Yes…yes I do…but I think maybe you and I could get on well, and I need to be honest with you.”
He pulled his lips in between his teeth. “Look, there’s nothing other than a strong family bond between me and Lily. I care deeply about her. But I’m not in love with her. If that’s not something you can deal with, then perhaps we shouldn’t take this any further.” He frowned.
She took a deep breath. “No…no I think you’ve made it clear that it’s just friendship, but now you probably don’t want to see me again after this.” She looked down at her lap. Just then the waiter brought their meals to the table.
When the waiter left, Jessica slowly lifted her gaze to meet Adam’s. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then opened his eyes and smiled. “I can understand your trepidation, but I do like you, so can we just start over?”
A pretty smile spread across her face and she sighed. “Sure. I’d really like that.”
♥♥♥
At the end of the evening they exchanged phone numbers with a view to seeing each other after Jess’s girl’s holiday and then they parted ways with a weird handshake.
Adam arrived home, exhausted, at half eleven. Jessica was lovely but she clearly came with baggage. But then again so did he.
He flopped onto the sofa and flicked on the laptop, which sat on the coffee table. No emails. He thought about it for a moment, but then decided against telling Lily the ins and outs of the date. It’d feel strange telling her that he was grilled about his relationship with her. And no doubt she’d tell him to ‘get rid of the nosey bint’. And anyway, she’d be home the following Saturday, so he would have plenty to tell her then.
His phone chirped in his pocket. Opening the message, he smiled to himself.
J: Hi Adam, it’s Jess. Wanted to apologise again for the Spanish Inquisition. Even though I discovered this evening that you are a Monty Python fan, I’m not sure you expected it ;-) See you next week. Xx
He chuckled to himself. Okay…pretty… sweet…matching baggage and a sense of humour, too. This felt rather good after all.
♥♥♥
Jessica spent a week away on her girl’s holiday but kept in touch with Adam the whole time. They had some long conversations by text message, and he wondered what on earth her friends must think as she lay there on a sun lounger with her phone permanently clutched in her hand.
A: Don’t they think it’s strange that you keep texting me? Isn’t it spoiling your holiday? Adam enquired.
J: Not at all. They are rather intrigued about the man who has finally captured my attention
A: I’ll bet they are. What have you told them?
He was rather intrigued to know. There was a long pause until he received her reply. He had almost given up hope of an answer when his phone chirped.
J: Have told them that I think perhaps this could be something special. Is that TMI?
Adam’s breath caught. Was it too much info? It wasn’t really what he was expecting to hear. He didn’t really know what he thought or felt about her. Their first meeting had been quite intense, and whilst he did find her very attractive, he hadn’t really considered where it was going. But he had asked the question after all, so only he was to blame for opening that can of worms. He hit reply.
A: No that’s fine. Look I have to go out. He lied. Will text you later. Try to have some fun with your friends!
Okay, time to let this thing breathe. Too much, too soon, perhaps. He threw his phone on the sofa and switched on the TV. She would be back at the weekend, but it would be too late for them to meet up, and so the next possible time for him to see Jess would be over a week from now. Plenty of time to let her think about the implications of what she had said. Plenty of time for him to get his head around the idea that she clearly thought this was going somewhere.
No pressure. None. None at all. Hmm.