All I Want Is You (U2)
Emily was waiting outside the restaurant when Adam arrived and she smiled widely as he approached her. She really was attractive. Shoulder length blonde hair, green eyes, and a very nice figure. She was wearing a fitted black dress and grey jacket.
Very sophisticated.
Adam kissed her on the cheek as they greeted each other. “It’s good to see you again, Emily.”
“Lovely to see you too, Adam. Although, it only feels like yesterday with all the phone calls.” There had been several after each date since Diane, head of Science, had passed Emily’s number on to him. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” She giggled.
“Me too…I could eat a horse.”
Smiling and leaning into him, Emily whispered, “Um…I don’t think they serve it here, but I know they do a very good steak.”
He held the door open for her. “Aww…that’ll have to do then.” He chuckled.
The Maître d’ showed them to a table for two by the window, and as soon as they were seated, a waiter brought a wine menu over and handed it to Adam. He placed his mobile down beside his water glass and glanced at it quickly. No messages. He hoped Lily was okay.
Turning his attention back to the wine list he asked, “Any preferences?”
“Not really. You choose.”’
“Well I’m driving, so I’ll be sticking to soft drinks…you choose.”
“Oh, come on, one glass won’t hurt…or are you trying to get me drunk?” A sultry smile played on her lips.
His jaw clenched. “I don’t drink and drive…at all…ever.”
She gulped and her cheeks coloured. “Oh gosh, of course…I’m so sorry.”
He closed his eyes and gathered himself. Opening them, he smiled. “No, it’s…it’s fine. What should I order?”
Her cheeks were crimson as she replied, “Pinot Noir?”
“Sure thing.”
He waved over the waiter and ordered the wine. Nodding his head, the Italian gentleman commented that it was an excellent choice and made off to fulfil the request.
After a few quiet minutes, Emily said, “Gosh everything sounds so delicious, Adam. What do you like the sound of?”
He was staring out the window, totally distracted by a woman with long, dark curly hair—who bore a striking resemblance to Lily—as she walked past with her head down, rummaging in her bag. She lifted her head just as she was parallel with the window and smiled at him.
Realising Emily had spoken he shook his head and returned his attention to her. “Sorry? Oh erm… I think I’ll have the steak.” He stared blankly down at his menu, not really paying attention to the text as Lily preyed on his mind.
“Are you having a starter? Maybe we could share one?” Emily asked.
He raised his head again. “Erm…sharing…yes…so what do you fancy?”
Looking at him from under her lashes, she smiled. “Other than you?” she asked seductively.
He felt his cheeks flush. “Sorry? Oh…yes…ahem.”
A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. “Adam, dear. So lovely to see you.”
He looked up and smiled widely at Lily’s mum. “Lenora. What are you doing here? How have you been?” He stood and embraced the woman who was like a second mother to him.
“I’m here with a friend for dinner and I spotted you as we were about to leave. I’m fine really. Just a little worried about Lily.”
He pulled away from her and frowned. “Because of Florida?”
She cupped his cheek. “That, yes, and other things too. I just wish things were different for you both.” There was a distinct sadness to her expression.
Adam opened his mouth to ask what she meant but her eyes widened. “Oh, dios mio! Take no notice of me. I’ve had wine.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll see you soon. Mucho amor.” She turned and dashed out of the restaurant as quickly as she could.
Adam cleared his throat and glanced at Emily as confusion niggled at him. “Sorry about that. I didn’t get a chance to introduce you. That was Lily’s mum.”
Emily responded with a strained smile. “Ah. I see.”
He sat again, poured himself a glass of water from the jug on the table and took a long gulp. “So, what have you been up to since I saw you last?”
She suddenly seemed distracted. “Oh, working mainly. I signed a big contract this week so this is a bit of a celebration for me. I like getting what I want.” She lifted her chin and locked her attention on him.
He peered at her over his water glass. “Ah that’s great. Congratulations. Here’s to you getting more of what you want, eh?”
Continuing to fix him with her gaze she said, “I think maybe you know what I want next, Adam.” Her voice was a breathy whisper.
His phone beeped and he glanced down to see a message had arrived from Lenora. Maybe it was further information connected to her cryptic statement earlier? Deciding he would read it later he turned the phone over so the screen would no longer distract him and tried to forget what Lenora had said before she left.
He returned his gaze to Emily. “What you want next? Oh, I don’t think I know. Tell me anyway.”
Leaning forward she stroked his hand and answered, “You, Adam.”
♥♥♥
Looking at the clock through the fog of her tears, Lily realised it was almost one a.m. She had cried non-stop since arriving home from Adam’s. Letting go was so very hard. She had put her CD of Adam songs into the player and allowed herself to look back through all her old photo albums, telling herself this was the last time. They would all go into storage tomorrow with some of her other belongings and they would remain there indefinitely. Then she would say goodbye to Jedburgh and head off to London.
The offer of the news anchor position had been a shock and she hadn’t told Adam. Not yet. But she would take the job. She had to. She needed distance again. Things were always easier with distance. Not easy. But easier.
Her heart ached as she looked back through the box of wonderful memories. The difficult memories, too, like Adam’s wedding. He had adored Eve so very much. But who wouldn’t? She was a beautiful person. Lily was sure that deep down Eve knew about her feelings for Adam. There had been many knowing looks over the years. But Eve had never treated her differently. She had never gloated or shunned her. She had included her in their lives as if she knew how much being apart from Adam would hurt her. Eve knew she was no threat because Adam worshipped his wife. They’d had the kind of love that everyone aspires to. That Lily aspired to.
Eve was cruelly ripped from Adam, too young, by the idiot who thought driving whilst under the influence of alcohol was acceptable and safe. Lily would never forgive that foolish man who had caused her best friend so much pain and heartache. But now was the time to just admit defeat. She was young enough to meet a nice man and have children. Surely, she could love someone else now? Surely?
Just as the melancholia of U2’s All I Want Is You washed over her and overtook her senses, she gathered all the photos back up into the box and closed the lid on her memories for the very last time. Wiping her eyes once more, she switched off the lamp and took her wine glass and empty bottle into the kitchen, letting the song resonate through her. The CD would have to go, too.
Suddenly, there was banging on the front door that made her jump. She pulled her robe tightly around her and gingerly walked to the front door to see if she could tell who it was. Stopping a few steps away, she squinted to try to make out the tall figure. The rain was coming down in torrents, which made the obscured glass panel in the centre even more opaque.
“Hello? Who is it?” she shouted as calmly as she could.
“Lil, it’s me, Adam.” He sounded out of breath.
“Adam? What the hell? It’s gone midnight.” She began to walk towards the door again.
“I know and it’s fucking chucking it down, so can you please open the door?”
She unfastened the latch and pulled the door open. She inhaled sharply at the vision before her. Adam was standing there, drenched, rain sliding from his wet hair, down his face, and soaking through his shirt, which was now clinging to his chest. So beautiful. He wiped his hand down over his face and slicked his hair back, his chest heaving.
Coming to her senses, she gestured toward him. “Come in, you’ll catch your death out there.” She stepped aside and he passed her, stopping in the hallway and dripping all over her tiled floor.
He turned toward her with a huge grin on his face. “I’m sorry it’s so late, Lil.” He ran his hand through his hair once again. “I…I just had to come and tell you…you are my best friend after all. And I wanted you to be the first to know.”
Her heart shattered into a million pieces and the tears that had been falling all evening began to dampen her face yet again. This was it. This was the news she didn’t want to hear but knew was inevitable.
“Oh?” was all she could muster.
He stepped toward her. “It’s happened, Lil.” She forced a smile through her tears, not bothering any more to wipe them away. “I’ve found her…the one.” He smiled the most beautiful smile. Happiness radiated from every pore.
She took a deep breath and nodded. She wanted to be happy for him, but it was hard when her heart lay trampled beneath his feet.
He stepped closer still. “It’s an amazing feeling, Lil. Just the best feeling ever. I had to tell you.”
She closed her eyes. They must have made love. He had such happiness in his eyes. She knew there would be no going back if that happened. When it happened. It was clear now he had fallen for Emily. And Adam didn’t give his heart away easily so it must be right. This was it. This was the end of her impossible dream. Biting the inside of her lip to stifle the sob that was building inside her, she opened her eyes again looking straight up into his melted chocolate gaze.
He took her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away the tears. He rested his forehead on hers. His eyes were damp now, too. “Lily…please don’t cry.”
She couldn’t help but set the sob free. “Sorry…but…I’m…I’m so happy for you.”
He smiled that glorious smile again and whispered. “Thank you…I’m glad that you’re happy for me. It’s so important to me that you are. It’s all so clear to me now. I’ve found the one, Lil…the one.” She had heard him. He didn’t need to keep saying it. Each time was like a dagger through the remains of her broken heart. She nodded; it was all she could manage to do.
He took a deep breath and with shimmering eyes and his lower lip quivering he spoke.
“Lily…I can’t believe I’ve found the one I’m supposed to be with. I never thought I’d love anyone this way again. Not after…after Eve. But…this feeling…I’m awake again. It’s like everything makes sense again. Like someone’s switched the light back on. My heart’s bursting and I just feel so…so happy. It’s so incredible. I…I had to tell you first. I can’t believe it…I’ve found the one, Lily.”
Tears continued to make their escape from her eyes and she nodded. “Yes…yes you’ve said. I get it.”
He shook his head. “No…no I don’t think you do.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Lily, I had a very enlightening conversation earlier. Someone I care for dearly opened my eyes. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. You always said I was oblivious to my surroundings. Now I know it’s absolutely true. There is no doubt in my mind. I’ve wasted so much time. So damn long. I need my life to start again now I know.”
Confusion clouded her mind. Who had he spoken to? Emily? That couldn’t be it.
“I’m sorry Adam, I really don’t und—”
“The one…the one I’m supposed to be with forever…Lily, it’s you.”
She gasped as she looked deep into his eyes and saw it. That look. The one she had longed to see for so, so long.
Adoration.
Her heart beat so fast she became lightheaded. “I’m sorry?”
“Lily, I know now that all those years ago, that day on the tennis court. That was the day I fell for you. But the timing was all wrong. And I had no clue how you felt. All these years I’ve been oblivious. I truly fell for Eve and pushed my feelings for you down, locked away. I never wanted to acknowledge them. When I lost Eve you were so selfless. You helped my heart to mend. But I didn’t know it was because you loved me too. I wish you’d told me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
She reached up and touched his face where the rain had been replaced by his tears. “I guess… I was scared and then we lost Eve and my heart shattered for you. All I wanted was for you to be happy again. I would have done anything to ease your pain. So I tried to let you go.”
“Well this is it, Lily. No more fear. No letting go. It’s you and me against the world. Do you still want that? Do you still want me?”
The sincerity and hope in his eyes took her breath away. He really meant it. He was in love with her.
A sob broke free and she smiled at him through her tear-blurred vision. “I do.”
“Lily Macrae. You have my heart. I love you. I think I always have.”
With one hand slipped around her waist and the other in her hair, he sealed his declaration with the kiss she had always longed for and the pieces of her broken heart finally mended.