Chapter 11

Life would be easier if I could mark people as spam.

-Reed’s secret thoughts

Reed

I never set out to have sex with her that day.

Honestly, we were just enjoying being together when it sort of just happened.

I’d gotten my apartment using the grant money I’d been awarded, and paid the six-month lease in full just that day.

There was a bed in the bedroom. A nightstand with one lamp, and a suitcase in the corner of the room.

There were leftovers from my parents’ house in the fridge and that was it.

This was the first time in six months that we’d actually had time alone where there wasn’t someone else in the house outside of our own four walls.

“Pizza sound good to you?” she asked, sounding excited.

I grinned and picked up the phone, placing an order for a large pizza before going back to find her on the couch.

She was bouncing on the cushion, looking at me excitedly.

“I don’t even know what to do with myself,” she whispered. “What do we do now?”

I took the seat next to her and turned, pulling her into my lap.

She came willingly, her smile brilliant.

“Now…I don’t know. I don’t have cable yet, and honestly, I’m not so sure that I can hack it,” I admitted. “After I get my next paycheck, I’ll have to see what’s left once I buy all the shit I need for this place.”

She nodded.

“Your mom gave you some towels and dishes, though, right?” she looked around worriedly.

I nodded.

“Well…” she paused. “I don’t know what to do either.”

Then she dropped her lips to mine.

One thing led to another, and soon I found her breast in the palm of my hand.

My thumb swept over the nipple, and the hiss she let out was enough to make my dick harder than a rock.

I’d had sex before, of course.

But it’d never felt like this—and I wasn’t even doing anything yet.

I was shaking. Literally shaking.

I kept telling myself that I'd done this before, but for some reason this felt like so much more.

"Are you sure?" I rasped, pulling back long enough to see into her eyes.

She looked just as caught up as I was in what we were doing.

She nodded. "Very sure."

I swallowed despite the dry throat, and motioned for her to stand.

"Let's do this in our bed."

"Our bed?"

She smiled at that, and I couldn't help the return smile as she stood.

And when we were in the bed, her sprawled out on it, legs slightly parted, I finally realized that this woman was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

We may be young, but I knew exactly what I wanted. Her.

That wasn't going to change.

Not today, tomorrow, or fifteen years from now.

She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

And, as I smoothed a condom down over my cock and crawled up between her legs, I wasn't scared.

Something so perfect could never end, could it?

***

I woke from the dream with a start.

I was sitting up straight in bed, and my eyes were locked on the wall beyond me.

There was a picture of Krisney on my nightstand. And beside that was a grainy photo of the ultrasound labeling the tiny forms of Hail #1 and Hail #2.

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, willing my heart to slow.

It was hammering, just like that time in my dream, too.

I swallowed bile.

I'd been so fucking wrong.

Not about the loving her part, but about it ending.

The girl had grown into a beautiful woman, and my love for her hadn't ended. I still had the same old feelings for her now that I did all those years ago, and I always would.

But every time I tried to take that step in her direction, guilt riddled me.

My sister wasn't alive anymore. She wasn't alive because of Krisney's brother. She'd taken her own life because she couldn't live with what he'd done to her.

Could I do that to her?

No.

Everything was still the same.

I loved her, but I couldn't be with her. It would be like a slap in the face to my sister—my parents.

My mom and dad didn't have a thing to say about the path I'd taken in my life.

They'd let me make my own mistakes just as they'd done with my brothers.

Honestly, they might not have ever said anything when it came to Krisney and me being together. Neither would my brothers. But I didn't want any of them to inadvertently take anything out on Krisney. I didn't want her to ever feel like she wasn't wanted.

I laughed harshly at that thought because wasn’t that exactly what I was doing to her?

I may not be saying the words to her, but I was practically throwing them at her each time I left her and her bed. Or her altogether.

Stomach tight with disgust, I rolled out of my empty bed and walked into my kitchen.

The apartment I was in was much like the one I'd had when I'd first gotten together with Krisney.

I had a plate, fork, cup and a knife to eat with. I had one towel. A bed and a nightstand with a lamp on it.

At this point, that was pretty much it.

I'd lived light through my years in the Army. Most of that time I'd lived out of a single sack, not caring in the least that I had to keep my possessions light.

Now, I just plain didn't care what I had. Mostly because what I had now didn't matter if I didn't have Krisney.

Slamming the coffee pot lid closed a little harder than needed, I stalked back to the bedroom and threw on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt.

Today I'd be picking up a shift with Hail Auto Recovery since quite a few of them were sick with a random case of the stomach bug.

I just hoped I didn't get it.

I hated throwing up. I turned into a different person when I threw up.

I'd gotten drunk once and only once, mostly because of the hangover I'd had afterward. Nausea didn't agree with me.

Which was kind of hypocritical seeing as I worked with pregnant women all day. Pregnant women who were nauseous—and throwing up—a lot of the time.

Krisney. Had she been nauseous? She hadn't said she was. Fuck, I hope she wasn't.

Though, it was very likely that she had been at some point.

She was pregnant with twins. The hormones that caused the nausea in the first place were doubled.

Fuck, I really hoped she wasn't sick. I hated seeing her hurt. She'd gotten the stomach bug one time while we'd been together, and seeing her throwing up while I was powerless to do anything was honestly quite debilitating.

Which, if I were being truthful, had been one of the reasons why I’d ultimately left the night before. I didn’t actually have to go in. I’d gotten a call saying a patient was going to the hospital for what she suspected were contractions, but I’d known better. She was a first-time pregnant woman, only thirty-seven weeks, and it likely was that she was only having Braxton Hicks contractions.

I didn’t need to leave.

I could’ve waited to hear…but I’d taken the chicken shit way out and left while I had a good excuse.

Now, I was fucking regretting it.

I hadn’t gotten another call that night.

I’d lain in bed for hours looking at the ceiling fan spin.

All the while, I’d thought of nothing but her.

And when my brother had called around three to ask if I was willing to work for a couple of hours today, I’d agreed.

Now, I was headed out to pick up a tow truck, and I tried really hard not to think about the fact that I’d left a pregnant woman—pregnant with my babies—home alone in a house I knew she hated because I was the biggest coward in the world.

I was scared to get close again.

I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to walk away a second time.

The four or so hours that I worked—seeing as it was Saturday—were uneventful. I’d picked up my share of cars over my time after having being roped in by my brothers, Dante and Travis.

It’d never really been my passion, though, like it was theirs.

Me, I was more interested in studying.

Which I did. Hard.

When I no longer had Krisney around to pull my attention away from my studies, I didn’t do anything that didn’t revolve around having my nose stuck in a book. Once I’d graduated with my MD, I’d joined the Army, and then I was never home, except for rare occasions while on leave.

During those visits, I’d gotten my hands dirty with them.

But once I’d realized that being with them also meant the possibility of seeing people who would look at me like I’d kicked their puppy, I’d started going to Tobias’s place in Alabama. But being in Alabama also meant that there was a possibility that I’d see Krisney.

Which I did.

More than I was willing to admit to since I’d been a fucking stalker.

And speaking of the devil…

My eyes hit on somebody broken down on the side of the road.

I’d just dropped off a repo for the new bank two towns over, and I was on the main road heading back into town, when I saw her.

She was on the side of the road, her lemon of a car directly behind where she sat leaning against the car’s hood.

I pulled up in front of her, nose-to-nose with her car, and got out.

Her expression was pleasant and eyes welcoming—until she realized that it was me getting out of the truck.

I saw the moment that her eyes closed down, and a frown formed on her face.

“What are you doing in that?” She narrowed her eyes.

Amusement lit my insides as I rounded the hood.

My eyes scanned the street, automatically assessing what was around us.

We weren’t in the middle of town, but it might as well have been.

There was the Taco Shop to the right of where Krisney’s car was broken down and to the left was the fucking bank. Two storefronts down from that was the farmers market. One down from that was the feed store.

Every single place had at least four people out front talking.

“Couldn’t have found a better place to break down?” I asked, ignoring her question.

Krisney shrugged. “I have no control over where I break down, Reed.”

She sounded angry, and I had to fight the smile that was threatening to break loose.

I loved it when she was mad.

She was like a little spitfire, and I fucking loved it.

Maybe a little too much for a man that was supposed to be staying away from her.

Did that stop me from walking up to her and pressing my hand to her belly?

No.

But when I did that, I hadn’t been thinking about all the people who were staring at us.

I’d only been thinking that I wanted to fucking touch her.

So, I did.

“You doing okay?” I asked.

It was ninety-five degrees out at two in the afternoon. She was sweating, and her face was hot. So sue me for wanting to check to make sure she was okay.

She pressed her hand on top of mine and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just annoyed.”

I snorted.

“I think it’s time to trade ‘er in.” I smoothed my hand over her belly. “You won’t be by yourself much longer, and it’d fucking suck if you broke down further away from town without any way to get a hold of us.”

She grimaced. “I have a car…”

She did. But it was a tiny little thing that wasn’t much bigger than the one she had.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “But when you need to get a double stroller, as well as all the other baby shit that you’ll have to carry around in there, you’re going to want something bigger than that little hatchback.”

Krisney sighed. “Shit.”

I snorted and pressed lightly on her belly before backing away and rounding the hood of the car.

“What’s it doing this time?”

“That overheating thing it always does.” she sighed. “I was going to give it twenty minutes and then try again. It’s been fifteen.”

I nodded and walked to the car, leaning in the window and turning the car’s ignition on so I could see the temp. “Did Travis have the radiator replaced while you were back in town last?”

She shook her head.

“No. The last time I had it replaced was when we were in Alabama. The mechanic there was the one that Tobias recommended.”

I nodded and turned the car back off.

“Come with me, and we’ll get something to eat while we wait.”

She tilted her head. “Five minutes…”

“Still reading too hot. It’s gonna take longer than five minutes. And the Taco Shop is right there. I’ve been dying to try it.”

She pursed her lips.

“Fine.”

I grinned and rounded the side of the truck, opening the door for her and watching as she climbed in.

She did, and I shut the door and rounded the truck, retracing my steps.

Once I was in the seat, I drove about two hundred feet and pulled into the parking lot of the Taco Shop.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” I said.

Her brows went up. “What?”

“Did you sell the house that your parents had in Alabama?” I paused. “Or is it just sitting there like this one?”

“I’m currently using this one.” She pointed out.

“You’re currently using the living room only because you need to answer the door, the kitchen to make microwaved meals, and the maid’s quarters,” I countered.

She winced. “I…yes. I sold that one.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “Well…kind of.”

“What does kind of mean?”

“It kind of means that I rented it out to a friend that I met while I was there, and she’s taking care of it for me until I can figure out what to do with it.” She paused. “Your brother’s club president…Big Papa?”

I nodded.

“He’s going to help my friend take care of it, too. She’s gonna need the help.”

I could imagine. The house the Shaws had while they were there was just as massive as the one here.

“What else?”

I could sense that she was trying to decide whether to say anything or not.

Almost as if she were bashful or something.

Then she went and blushed a million shades of red, and I realized that she was, in fact, hiding something.

I grinned. “Come on, tell me.”

She shrugged. “So, my friend.” She paused. “God, this is embarrassing, but my friend has a crush on Steel Cross.”

“Who’s Steel Cross?” I was confused.

“Big Papa is Steel Cross. But, Winnie only knows him as Steel Cross.”

My brows lifted. “What kind of name is Steel Cross?” I laughed. “That fits him well, I would say.”

Steel Cross, otherwise known as Big Papa, the president of my brother’s motorcycle club, The Dixie Wardens—Alabama Chapter.

He was a big, hardened cop to boot.

He could rival any boot camp instructor I’d ever met. He had an adult son, and honestly, didn’t look anywhere near fifty—which I knew he was pushing.

His son was thirty-two, and they looked more like brothers than they did father and son.

“How old is this Winnie?” I asked, opening the door to the Taco Shop.

Everything inside quieted as we entered, but I chose to ignore everyone and instead placed my hand on Krisney’s back to urge her further inside.

“She’s young…thirtyish.”

“That’s not young,” I groaned. “I’m thirty-two. That’s the same age as me.”

“Yeah, but she’s almost twenty years younger than Big Papa.”

Well, when she put it like that…

“And you think they’re going to get together?”

She shrugged, but for the first time in a while, I saw a smile on her face that wasn’t false. “I think that she has a good chance…plus she has a little boy and a teenaged girl that just might tip the scales in her favor.”

And, as I watched her face and listened to her talk about her friend over lunch, I realized that staying away from the woman was going to be impossible.

It was getting harder to do with every passing minute.

***

Three hours later, despite promising myself that I wasn't going to do anything or go see her, I drove to her place.

I didn't stop at her driveway like I'd intended to.

No, me being the dumbass glutton for punishment that I was, I pulled into her driveway and got out.

My eyes automatically took in her parents’ place.

It was always so grand that I didn't want to step off the path in fear I'd hurt the grass.

But now, there were weeds in her mother’s precious garden. The grass was overly long. There were newspapers in the driveway.

Her mother would've literally died.

I smiled as I continued up the front walk. Time to see what else I could fuck her on that her mother loved.