Chapter 4

I’ll bet gynecologists never have roast beef sandwiches for lunch.

-Meme

Krisney

Germany

Four months ago

Routine. Just routine.

Yeah, right.

I knew this was going to be bad. I knew that I was about to do one of the stupidest things in the world.

Yet, that didn't stop me from entering the infirmary.

Every year we were required to see the doctor for an annual health evaluation. Mine was due two months ago, and I'd purposefully gotten out of it.

I'd tried to get out of this one, too. However, my superior looked at me, grinned that evil grin of hers, and told me in no uncertain terms if I didn't do it, I'd be relegated to desk duty for the foreseeable future.

She knew I hated desk duty.

Talking to people wasn’t my forte.

And now I was here.

Going into the one place that I knew I shouldn't be going.

The clinic in town was normally off limits.

The clinic near the base had an older than dirt male doctor that I was fairly sure was a pervert who kept working because he didn't get to see pussy that young anymore.

However, knowing that the old doc was off on the weekends, and Reed volunteered there for all the ladies that didn’t want to risk it with the pervert doc, led me to where I was today.

Where I knew he was.

Shit. Damn. Fuck.

I’d gone to Germany to get away from him. He’d been assigned to the same base within a month of my arrival.

It might’ve been a coincidence, but I knew it probably wasn’t.

He did it on purpose. Just to watch me squirm.

I swung open the glass door, waved at the secretary who I knew but whose name I couldn't remember, and signed in.

"He's running about thirty minutes behind," the secretary said as she took my information. "I'll tell the ladies that you're here, though. You can go on back. The nurse will put you in a room.”

Of course he was, because the motherfucker liked to talk.

Fucker.

Asshole.

I walked back, met the nurse, and she guided me into a room.

“Here’s the paper gown. You can go ahead and change here behind the screen.” The nurse smiled. “The part goes in the front.”

I refrained from flipping her off.

I knew which fucking part went in the front. I wasn’t a dumbass.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

I waited until she was completely out of the room before I changed, making sure the screen was completely covering every square inch of my body before I stripped my shirt off.

My pants went next, then my bra, and my underwear.

After slipping on the stupid gown—part in front—I folded the clothes precisely in on themselves, making sure that my underwear and bra were neatly tucked into my shirt before rolling my pants around the shirt.

I did not want him to see my underthings.

No sir-ree.

He was already going to see my breasts and vagina today. I didn’t want him to see that I wore the sexy underthings for some stupid reason.

Growling to myself, I picked up my phone and blasted off a text to my best friend.

She was probably asleep, but she’d answer when she woke up.

Somebody needed to be witness to this train wreck.

Might as well be Hennessy.

Hennessy and I had been best friends for a very long time.

A long, long, long time.

We knew everything about each other.

I knew that she started her cycle every month at the beginning of the week, and she knew that I hated having tags in my underwear because they irritated my skin.

I felt like she needed to know the hell I was about to put myself through.

When she didn’t immediately answer back, I started to scroll through Facebook, stopping on a picture that my other friend, Laryn, had uploaded.

I smiled at the giggling baby who had what looked like green peas smeared all over her face.

After Reed had broken up with me, I’d had a falling out with Laryn.

Hell, I’d had a falling out with nearly everybody.

Everybody was gone except Hennessy. She stayed by me despite everything.

Despite the fact that my brother had done the unthinkable. Despite the fact that my parents went out of their way to make the Hails’ lives a living hell afterward. Despite the fact that my parents actively hated me because of my support of Tobias, the man who killed my brother when he caught him raping his sister.

They’d never let me forget that I’d ‘betrayed the family’ but I couldn’t.

Not with everything that had happened before. And especially not with what happened after.

My phone pinged with an incoming message from Hennessy, making me smile.

It was a picture of a meme that said: I’ll bet gynecologists never have roast beef sandwiches for lunch.

I burst out laughing, my eyes stinging with the hilarity of it.

See, as much as I liked Laryn, she didn’t get me like Hennessy did.

Never had.

Although we’d reconnected about a year ago, it still wasn’t what Hennessy and I shared.

Since we’d reconnected, I’d enjoyed seeing how she’d moved on with her life. While there I was living right where Reed had left me.

In a broken pile of Krisney that probably wouldn’t ever heal again.

Which reminded me where I was at, and what I was about to do.

I grimaced.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

This was going to be so bad.

The man that I loved, the man who had dumped me, was going to be looking at my vagina.

This seriously couldn't get any worse, right? Wrong.

How, you ask?

The air conditioner kicked on.

There I was, in nothing but a fucking paper towel suit, and the fucking air kicks on?

Seriously?

It had to be some sort of a cosmic joke.

I could practically feel the hairs on my legs growing as goosebumps started to chase over my skin.

There wasn’t an inch of my flesh that wasn’t affected by the air, which happened to be about the time that Reed came in, looking down at the chart in his hands.

Without knocking.

He looked tired. A little bit pissed, and a whole lot of beautiful.

His hair was styled, but it looked like at some point he’d started to run his hand through it on the left side right next to his ear.

He had a beautiful head full of almost black hair. And I say almost because at his temples he was starting to gray.

Oh, God. That was so sexy.

I hadn’t seen him except in pictures sent by Hennessy, or while stalking his Facebook, for a while now. At least two years.

He was only thirty-two years old, so it was sort of a shock to see his hair graying, but damn did he work it.

He had a pair of glasses perched on his nose, and I found myself smiling quickly. He’d always had trouble seeing when he was stressed and his eyes were fatigued.

He wasn’t wearing a doctor’s coat.

Why was I obsessed with that fact? Because had he been wearing a doctor’s coat, it would’ve hidden the way his muscular arms pulled at his Polo shirt, and the way that Polo shirt fit him to perfection in all the right ways.

The shirt was tucked into his jeans, showing off his trim waist and the goddamn belt buckle I’d bought him for Christmas our first year together.

The belt buckle I’d bought him.

It’d cost me an entire year’s savings from the money my mother would give me for lunch—though Reed didn’t know that I wasn’t the spoiled rich kid that everyone always thought I was.

At the time, Jay had gotten everything he wanted, while I, being the rebellious child who went against her parents’ wishes by dating a ‘bad boy,’ got money for lunch every day and lunch money only. That equaled to about twenty dollars a week, for eighteen weeks. Meaning that, although I’d starved during school, it’d been worth it to get him that belt buckle and see his face light up with excitement.

I swallowed thickly and tried not to let my eyes take in the buckle, and instead focused on his face.

The same beautiful face that still haunted almost all of my sleeping and waking moments.

"Any STD concerns?"

He didn't know it was me. I was going with that. Because if he did know it was me, he wouldn't have asked.

I didn't sleep around.

Hell, it took him six months to get me to put out when we'd dated.

"No."

I tried not to snap. Really, I did.

But this man had a way of getting on my nerves. I could happily kick him in the balls and not feel an ounce of remorse.

Reed's head snapped up, and his eyes widened the moment the word left my mouth.

Yeah, he hadn't known it was me.

We stared at each other like two deer caught in a spotlight.

Then he broke the stare as easily as he’d ended our relationship and said, "Any concerns?"

I shook my head. "No."

He nodded his head, then looked down at the paper.

"Last menstrual cycle?"

I shrugged.

"I'm on the pill. You know how that goes. I skip the week that causes you to have a period." I paused. “Maybe six weeks ago?”

Hell, he'd been the one to suggest that I get on the pill. He’d been there with me when I'd been given the speech about them.

I still remember the doctor telling us that birth control pills weren't as effective if you didn't take them at the same time every day, and if you were on antibiotics to use alternate means of protection.

It'd been so embarrassing to have that doctor know that I was about to have sex with the man that was directly beside me at the time.

Now here we were, all these years later, and Reed was the man asking the questions. Jesus.

"Yeah,” he looked down at the paper, "I do."

I winced at the biting tone.

God, he really hated me.

I knew why, but still.

"Did Dee-Dee tell you we were performing a Pap smear?"

No, she put me in this room, told me to get undressed, and then proceeded to leave me naked for forty-five minutes, not once coming to check on me.

I nodded.

She had.

Dammit.

"Would you feel more comfortable with a nurse in here?"

The mocking tone almost dared me to do it. It wouldn't stop the feelings we had for each other, though.

I shook my head no.

The only thing that would make this situation more comfortable was if I were dead.

"You know what to do."

I did.

Leaning back, I scooted to the bottom of the table until my ass almost hung off the edge.

While I did that, he pulled the stirrups out and then reached for my ankle.

The moment our skin met, I shuddered.

Which he noticed, of course. It was also hard to hide the goose bumps that pebbled my flesh the moment our skin touched, which in no way had anything to do with the air conditioning.

He let go of me like I'd burned him.

Instead of him touching my other foot, I picked my own leg up and placed my heel in the stirrup.

"It's cold in here," I murmured, lying through my teeth.

He didn't contradict my lie, only hummed something in the back of his throat that caused me to instantly stiffen.

He'd done that when we were younger. When we were together and he didn't want to say anything for fear of bursting out laughing.

"Relax."

Yeah, right.

His hand touched my ankle again, and I had to fight the urge to jerk it away.

And I wouldn’t even begin to mention the way that my vagina was now practically dripping with need for him. Nope, nuh-uh, no way. It was a malfunction…had to be.

Goddammit.

There was no way he wouldn’t notice.

None.

Jesus, he’d always affected me like that. Always.

It was kind of sick, really, the way he could make me melt into a puddle of goo.

Mortification was washing over me like a rising tide, and I could barely hold my head up above the humiliation.

I could feel him watching me. Could feel the way he stood, so hot and strong, between my splayed thighs.

It reminded me of the first time we’d ever had sex.

Which then caused another wash of desire to roll through me.

That had been something I’d never forget. Not ever.

“I’m going to feel for abnormalities,” he said, startling me.

I didn’t say anything back.

His hands moved up my legs on both sides, which I knew for a fact wasn’t something that was done at the doctor’s office. Especially not with the way his hand was so slow moving.

His palms were rough, and they felt like a fucking heater as they made their way from ankle to thigh.

As he moved in closer to my lady bits, my heart started to pound. The anticipation of him touching me, even in a clinical way, was enough to send a rush of need through me.

I licked my lips and tried hard not to moan.

Oh, God.

Everything inside of me was pulsing with need.

My nipples were pebbled, and I was fairly sure that my clit looked like a big red target that screamed ‘touch me!’

And let’s not forget the juices that I could now feel sliding down the crack of my ass.

Yes, I was a slut.

A huge, super slut, with a super slutty vagina. Slutty McSluttyone—that was me.

His hand paused at the part of my thigh and groin where the two met, and he ran his thumb over where my panties would normally reside. You know, if I were wearing any, that was.

All he touched now was the sensitive skin that used to drive me wild—and he knew it.

What was he doing to me?

There was no way he didn’t know what he was doing to me. None.

His hand moved again, parting my folds with both thumbs, and I clenched my eyes and teeth shut to stop the moan from leaving my mouth.

I ground my teeth so hard that I heard them crack in protest.

Then I felt those strong shoulders of his brush against the inside of my thighs, reminding me how wide they were. How they used to feel when he would shove my legs open with them before going down on me.

Oh, God.

And that was when I opened my legs wider. Because I didn’t want him touching me. Yes, that was it.

I was also Slutty Liar McSluttyone.

After he parted my sex with his thumbs, he moved his hand so that one hand was holding my pussy open at the top of my sex, the heel of his hand resting just at the top of my pubic bone, while the other went in for the kill.

At first, I didn’t think he was going to do anything but insert his finger.

But when he swept his thumb down, and I felt wetness go with it, I knew he was bringing attention to the fact that I was dripping wet without actually saying a word.

I licked my lips, staying silent.

Which caused him to chuckle low in his throat.

Still, I didn’t say anything.

Mainly because at this point I couldn’t. I’d been holding my breath, closing my eyes, and praying that I wouldn’t spontaneously orgasm and give him an even bigger head.

I should’ve known that I’d embarrass myself. Should’ve. Known.

Why?

Because Reed had always been the one. The one to make me realize that I have zero control when it comes to him.

What would’ve made me angry if someone else had done it? It made me happy when it came to Reed.

What made me want to cry? Yeah, Reed made me laugh.

So, something as easy as sweeping his finger across my entrance? Barely grazing my clit?

Yeah, that should’ve been nothing.

Yet, I still came.

It’d been a baby orgasm. Barely a blip of the radar.

But he knew my tells, just like I knew his.

The goose bumps on the back of my thighs, the way my breathing hitched, paired with the way my head rocked from side to side were enough of an indication.

And he didn’t miss a single thing.

But he didn’t say anything, and I didn’t either.

Which put me into a false sense of complacency.

I laid back on the table, stared at the white ceiling with the panels that looked like they needed to be given a good power wash with years’ worth of use in them, and waited for him to get down to it.

He inserted a finger…and that’s when I realized that he wasn’t wearing gloves.

Wasn’t. Wearing. Gloves.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

No, no, no.

“G-gloves,” I croaked.

He cursed.

But did he remove his hand?

Hell no.

He left his finger buried deep inside of me.

Then he did the thing that they do that checks your organs from the top—actually somewhat doing his job for once.

“Everything feels good there, in case you’re wondering,” he murmured, pressing and palpitating whatever the hell it was that he was trying to locate.

Our eyes met then, and I realized that resistance was futile.

My knees opened, inviting him to do what he would.

He did.

He dropped his face. And licked me.

Licked my clit.

It was just one sweep of his tongue, but it was enough.

It was enough.

God, was it enough.

I clenched, my pussy pulsed and squeezed. Then I came.

Hard.

This wasn’t a baby orgasm. No, this one was everything.

Too many years of pent up, no-orgasm-having need burst out of my vagina like a rocket.

I fucking soaked his hand with my release, but everything inside of me felt so damn good that I didn’t once think about embarrassment. Nor did I care where we were, or that Reed was supposed to be my god-forsaken doctor.

Nope, all I cared about was riding his fucking finger, and getting the most out of my orgasm that I could.

He must’ve realized this, too, because he shoved another thick finger—when did they get so thick??—into me and scissored them.

Oh, fuck.

“Fuck,” Reed growled.

I concurred.

In fact, I probably would’ve said that aloud had the door not opened right then.

There was a quick knock on the door—after the door was opened—and a nurse poked her head in. "Dr. Hail?"

Reed's fingers paused their movement inside of me...almost.

He continued to curl his fingers and stroke that hidden spot inside of me. The spot only he had been able to find.

"Ms. Fisher, I know we've discussed before about you opening a patient's door while I'm doing their exams. For the patient's privacy, you should either enter at the beginning of the exam, or wait until I've completed it. Are we clear? I will not be repeating myself."

"Yes, sir," Ms. Fisher apologized. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry doesn't give the patient's dignity back," Reed snapped.

I bit my lip when Reed twirled his finger, doing something inside of me that I’d never felt before.

"Jesus," I hissed, unable to help myself.

My hips were also being held down by Reed's hand, but had he not been holding them down, they would've jerked up with that last movement.

"I...I was just trying to see what size gloves you wanted me to order for you this time,” she whispered. "Do you want me to come back?"

Reed's eyes held mine for a long second, and then he looked down at where his gloveless fingers were still inserted in my pussy.

"Of course, I want you to come back. After I show Ms. Shaw out of the exam room. Now go!"

I'd have bit my lip at his anger if it'd been directed at me. The nurse? Yeah, she squeaked and closed the door hurriedly.

"You've done this before?" I gasped, unable to help myself.

His eyes came up to meet mine.

"No,” his eyes went predatory. "First time."

"What about the exam?" I cleared my throat.

"We're doing it."

I would've snorted, but his fingers came out of me and went back inside. This time three fingers wide instead of two.

My hips really did come off the table that time.

We'd stopped having a medical exam, and moved into a different kind of exam ten minutes ago when he’d walked in the door. Yet, neither one of us wanted to admit it.

I, of course, was physically incapable of it, but he might've still had his wits about him.

However, my eyes were too unfocused to know for sure.

Then he touched my clit, and I was lost.

I would've screamed, did scream, but his hand muffled it—making it sound more like a muted moan that likely wasn't heard from the other side of the flimsy door.

"We need to stop," I mewled, worrying now. "This isn't right."

He laughed. That deep sexy laugh that had always gotten the better of me.

The first time I'd had sex not in the privacy of mine or Reed's bedroom, he'd given me that same laugh. The laugh that made me tingle all over while teasingly mocking me at the same time.

The last time he'd laughed at me like that, he'd had me up against a wall outside of his brother's graduation party. He'd wanted to do it in a closet with seventy of our closest family and friends on the other side. And I'd done it after a little persuasion on his part.

I'd grown up since then, though. I was a different person. I was a stronger person.

Right?

Wrong.

I'd dreamed of Reed since our breakup. I'd imagined him in every way possible since then. It was sick, really.

He'd broken up with me. I should've moved on. Should've found a way to be happy without him.

But there was a funny thing about love.

It didn't give you the choice on who you loved, or how much love you could give them. Seems that Reed got all of my love. I tried. I really tried to move on from the debilitating pain, yet here I lay, as if not a single heartbreaking day had gone by.

Too many years after he broke up with me, and I still couldn’t tell him no.

Because one more day with Reed, even though I knew there'd never be anything else with him, was better than no Reed at all.

I needed him like I needed to breathe. Like I craved Cadbury Easter eggs during Christmas time, and frozen Snicker bars in the dead of winter.

I'd give up bread to be with him.

"Please!"

The fevered whisper was all he needed.

He was unzipping his pants and taking his cock out of the hole in his boxers and pants seconds later.

His cock was the same. Big, thick, and beautiful. He’d always been well-endowed, and time hadn’t changed that.

I bit my lip, watching him watch me, and moaned in need as I squirmed on the table.

He didn't waste time. He didn't act like this was all right.

We both knew it wasn't.

It wasn't all right, and never would be.

But we were doing it.

He pushed his cock into me. No build up. No pussy footing around. He forced himself into me, the way we both knew I liked it, and made me take him. Forced me.

He was so big. He always had been.

God, I loved that burning stretch. I'd missed it, and hadn't realized how much until just that moment.

"Fuck."

We’d both said the words.

We both felt them, too.

I circled my hips, hoping to urge him on, but he held my hips with both hands pressing down and forced me to stay still.

“Trying not to come,” he told me.

I wasn’t.

I pulsed my pussy, squeezing his member, hoping to urge him on.

It only backfired, though.

See, here’s the thing.

I’d always, always been great at orgasming when it came to Reed. There’d never been one time that I could think of that I hadn’t come.

Yet, coming as many times as I had today, and still coming?

That was unheard of, even for Reed.

So, when I came a third time, this time with nothing but his cock stretching me, and my pussy squeezing him, it surprised us both.

I was momentarily stunned.

He couldn’t hold back.

He started to roughly take me, so hard and fast that I couldn’t catch up.

One orgasm went into another, and I was begging him for something, unsure what it was.

“I need…”

He knew exactly what I needed.

One second I was on my back, my feet in the stirrups, and the next I was on my belly and yanked down.

I was short. Even with the stool at the bottom of the table pulled out, I barely touched.

And he took advantage of that—of my vulnerability.

He fucked me hard, fast, and without restraint.

His cock filled me so full that I wasn’t able to do anything but take him.

His fisted hand went to the table by my head, and I turned to study it.

My entire body jolted with each of his thrusts, and they felt so good that I was nearly screaming with the intensity of my impending orgasm.

I could feel it building. Could feel the wave about to roll over me.

Which was why I latched onto his wrist with my teeth to distract myself, and offer myself a buffer to the wail that I knew was about to leave my lips.

He didn’t so much as flinch.

He’d put it there on purpose, of course.

We’d done this very same thing hundreds of times over the course of our relationship.

When you were a teenager, trying to sneak your boyfriend into your room so you could do it, you had to come up with ideas to keep quiet.

That’s why, almost in the very spot that I was locked onto his wrist, there was a scar of teeth prints from the many times we’d hidden what we were doing.

He’d told me to ‘bite down’ to keep quiet, and being quiet wasn’t my strong suit.

I’d done it, and then bitten him so hard that I’d broken his skin when he’d shoved his massive cock into me. It’d healed, eventually, but in its place left a scar that would forever remind him of our time together.

Of our first time together.

But I didn’t break his skin this time.

I knew how hard to bite, and knew that I wouldn’t hurt him. As did he.

And when I felt his thumb brush over my asshole, that was all I needed.

The orgasm that took me over would’ve swept me off my feet had I been using them. I was thankful for the table that was holding me up.

Knowing he’d taken care of me, he lifted one of my legs, and slowed way down.

So slow, in fact, that I realized he was trying to draw this out. Make it last longer.

But then a knock sounded at the door. “Dr. Hail, your next patient is in room 4 and she thinks she’s having contractions.”

Reed paused halfway inside of me. “Set her up on the monitors. I’ll be through in a few moments.”

Then he slammed back inside of me, completely lifting me up off the table.

My mouth opened in surprise.

And then he continued to slam inside.

Our hips met. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap.

He needed four more strokes before he came.

Inside of me.

We both breathed heavily after he was through, and it took him at least two minutes to pull out of me.

The minute he was gone, so was the moment.

He was back to professional.

“Don’t think we can get that Pap smear done,” he muttered to himself. “You’ll have to come back.”

I snorted.

I wasn’t coming back. No way, no how.

“Okay,” I lied, standing up.

The minute my feet were on the ground, I felt him leaking out of me.

His eyes went down when mine did, and I watched as his release slipped down the inside of my thigh.

I caught it with my hand, and tried to scoop up the most that I could.

When my eyes met his once again, they were blazing.

Which had to be the reason I brought that come up to my mouth and licked it.

His mouth parted.

Another knock at the door.

“Sir, she’s having contractions three minutes apart, and she’s dilated to a five.”

“Send her to the hospital,” Reed barked through the door. “I’ll get over there now.”

And that’s when the tears started to fall.

But did Reed do anything? No.

Did he react in any way? Hell no.

He just tucked his dick into his pants, drew the curtain over the door that he’d never shut to begin with, and left the room. Leaving me standing there, naked, with a handful of his come.

It really couldn’t feel worse…could it?

***

An hour later, I was in my superior’s office.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

“I need leave…”

When Coralee, my supervisor, didn’t say anything for a few moments, I finally looked at her.

“Why are you here?”

I looked away.

“Why are you asking?”

“Krisney, look at me.”

I didn’t want to.

But it was ingrained in me to pay attention to my superiors, so I did just that despite not wanting to.

“You literally begged me to come here because you wanted to get away from them…this was only for a temporary basis, anyway, until the position could be filled…why don’t you do what you’ve always wanted to do?”

I looked away.

“I don’t…” I looked at my hands. “I don’t have any reason not to anymore, do I?”

She shook her head.

“Then go. Live your life. Your parents can’t ruin it anymore, can they?”

“No.”

They couldn’t.

They were dead.

And I was happy…wasn’t I?