EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING. I looked up through my hair and watched them, disgusted.
They were like a pack of hyenas.
And this...
This was my worst nightmare.
Bottom of the rung on the high school social ladder.
Literally—I was currently flat out on my face on the floor of the hallway since someone had stuck a foot out when I was passing.
Day Four in Finn and India’s Now Open to the Public Love Story.
We even had our own hashtag on social media.
#Finndia.
You might have guessed that #Finndia wasn’t going too well for me.
The sick thing was Finn wasn’t getting any crap from anyone.
No. Apparently he was a victim just like Eloise.
I was the cheap hussy who had stolen the prince from the princess.
As I pushed up on my elbows Elle came into sight. She was standing in the middle of the hall staring at me in horror.
Embarrassed, I lowered my eyes and got to my feet. Attempting to ignore everyone, I grabbed my fallen books and walked in the opposite direction of my stepsister.
My knee throbbed like a mother.
For the last three days, Finn and I had eaten lunch at a table by ourselves. We got stared at and sneered at but when we were together the abuse wasn’t so bad. It was when I was alone that the name-calling and spit balling happened. I could now add physical assault to the list.
Home wasn’t any better than school.
Theo acted like I didn’t exist and his attitude pissed off Hayley so much they got into a huge argument, so the newlyweds were no longer talking.
Eloise kept avoiding me so I had no idea what was going on in her head. All I knew was that our friends had turned against me, my stepfather had turned against me, Patrick turned in the opposite direction when he saw me, my entire class hated me and even some of my teachers looked at me with derision.
And Eloise had the power to stop the character assassination.
I needed my friend back.
* * *
Finn was silent the whole time he drove me to his place after school. He was mad.
Not at me.
At everyone else.
Word had gotten back to him about my little “stumble” in the hallway.
I’d tried to tell him I was all right but I don’t think it helped.
“I used to think the brain was the most important organ,” I quipped. “But then I thought, look what’s telling me that.”
A reluctant smile pulled at Finn’s mouth. “What?”
“It’s a joke.”
“It’s a bad joke.” He pulled into his driveway. Rochester was away on business again so we had the house to ourselves.
The tug at Finn’s lips was gone, and he was back to Mr. Brooding as he came around to the passenger’s side, opened the door and helped me out. He held my hand as he led me into the house.
I searched my brain for more material to lighten his mood.
“Where do animals go when their tails fall off?”
Finn glanced back at me with a cool eyebrow raise.
“The retail store.”
“You tell really bad jokes.”
“So bad they’re funny, right?”
He didn’t answer as we walked upstairs to his room.
I decided to persevere. “What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?”
“I don’t know.” Finn sighed as he tugged me into his bedroom and closed the door behind us. “What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?”
“Sneakers.”
He pressed his lips together.
“Aha!” I pointed at him, grinning. “You want to laugh, I can tell.”
“I don’t. I want to cry they’re so bad.”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance?”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“Put a little boogie in it.”
Finn threw back his head and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Oh, man,” he groaned, but I could hear the laughter in his voice.
I giggled. “What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?”
He dropped his hands from his face and crossed the small distance between us to pull me against him.
“Tooth-hurtie,” I said.
Finn shook his head, staring down at me with so much tenderness my smile fell under its beautiful weight. “I love you,” he whispered. “So much.”
My breath caught, wonder flowing through me in tingling warmth. “Really?”
“Truly.”
I slid my arms up and around his shoulders and pressed deeper into him. I prepared myself to say something I hadn’t said to anyone since I was eight years old.
“India?”
“I love you, too, Finn.”
He kissed me, sweet and tender, seeming to savor every little taste of me.
I pulled back, a little out of breath. My skin was hot, my belly in flutters and my heart was racing so hard. There was no guarantee that I would ever again feel the way I did right then as I stood in Finn’s arms. I didn’t want to waste that feeling.
“I’m ready,” I told him, gazing meaningfully into his eyes.
His grip on me tightened. “Are you sure? This isn’t just because you want to take your mind off all the crap that’s going on at school?”
Butterflies raged to life among the flutters in my stomach. But they were the good kind. The great kind. I kissed him lightly, breathing him in. “It’s got nothing to do with that.” I told the absolute truth. “I want this. With you.”
And that’s how on a day that could have been one of the worst in my teenage life, one of the best and most significant things happened.
I led Finn Rochester to his bed, we undressed each other and I lost my virginity.
I had always found that phrase strange—“losing your virginity.” How could you lose something that you willingly gave up, right?
It was like by using the word loss it was really about the idea of losing your innocence.
I’d lost my innocence a long time ago.
I didn’t see the loss of my virginity in that light.
It was more that I lost every part of me in Finn, and he in me.
I never knew being lost could be so beautiful.