Chapter 30
I WISH IT could’ve been a fairy-tale ending.
The party ended too quickly. The hours blurred by until it was one o’clock and the house was empty, save for me and Noah, Lee and Rachel. The house wasn’t too much of a mess since there hadn’t actually been much drinking. We swept some trash into bags and left them out on the sidewalk, and by two a.m. Rachel was passed out in Lee’s arms on the couch, and his head started drooping too.
I lay on the other couch, my head in Noah’s lap. I wanted to stay awake, spend more time with him. I might’ve been able to keep my eyes open had he not been running his fingers through my hair. It was more soothing than any lullaby.
‘Noah,’ I said, but it came out as a sleepy murmur.
‘Mm.’ He sounded just as half conscious as I felt. Maybe he was. My eyes were shut and I was past the stage where I had the willpower to open them again.
‘What are you thinking about?’
He hesitated before replying. ‘Us. College.’ I waited patiently for him to develop that answer. ‘I don’t—’ He broke off with a yawn, and had to repeat himself. ‘I don’t want you to be hanging around for me to come back for holidays and not having a life. I know that sounds weird coming from me, after I tried protecting you all this time, but . . . I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem – seem fair to you,’ he said, yawning again, ‘to have to wait around on me . . . I’m tired. I’m no good with this stuff anyway.’
I gave a sleepy laugh, a half-smile on my lips. ‘The “emotional crap”, you mean?’
‘Yeah. I don’t know. We’ll give it our best shot and hope for the best. That’s all we can do, right?’
‘I’m going to miss you,’ I said, shrugging, still thinking. He squeezed my arm.
We sat in silence for a few moments. I knew he wasn’t asleep since he carried on running his fingers through my hair. I heard a jerking snore that broke the silence before it petered out into even breathing again. Lee. He was asleep, then.
Noah moved, jostling me around. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, making a small grumbling noise in protest, but then he was still, lying along the couch beside me and keeping me tucked against him. I smiled. I wanted to roll so I was facing him, but it took a moment to actually do that because I was so sleepy.
‘Elle,’ he said then, in that ominous kind of tone that told me he wanted to actually talk about something serious. I was too tired for talking now . . .
‘What?’ I whispered back drowsily into the darkness.
‘I love you.’ He kissed my forehead. I snuggled closer, burying my head into the crook of his neck as his arms tightened around me.
I was asleep in seconds.
None of us woke up when Lee’s parents got in. None of us woke up when they pottered around the kitchen, making brunch, or cleaning up the rest of the house.
It was almost two in the afternoon when I eventually opened my eyes.
I’d slept most of the day away, and the afternoon was spent playing video games with Lee. Noah had disappeared to a scrap yard somewhere to get parts for his bike. His text hadn’t been clear since there was no part of me that spoke mechanic; I had to guess what he was doing.
And then it was my birthday.
Just like that I’d turned seventeen.
I’d stayed up until midnight to text Lee, but it only really hit me now that I was really wide awake and staring at my ceiling and the shapes the morning sun played on it.
It felt like I’d suddenly grown up in the last year.
And to be totally honest, I kind of hated it.
Mostly, it was the fact that growing up meant making the big decisions. Like college next year. I’d have to think about college. Hell, I didn’t even have a clue what I wanted to do as a career! I just went with the flow. I didn’t think about things like that much. I just didn’t know.
Sure, growing up meant all the good things, like having boyfriends and driving and finding out who you were, yadda, yadda, blah-blah-blah.
But was it really so bad that a little part of me wished things could stay the same forever? That I could run home and have my daddy put a Band-Aid on my knee when I tripped, that I could cannonball into Lee’s pool with him and not give a damn about anything else other than making a bigger splash than him.
Then my door burst open.
‘Happy birthday, troll!’
I sat up, throwing a pillow at Brad, but he shut the door on it before it went careering into his face. He opened the door back up and said, ‘Get up already!’
‘Why? It’s, like, eight in the morning!’
‘If I’m up, you’re up!’ I noticed then that he was already dressed, and rolled my eyes. It was kind of true – Brad felt the need to have everybody in the house up once he was up. I imagined he’d already dragged Dad out of bed to reach him a cereal bowl down from the cupboard so he could have breakfast.
‘I’m up, I’m up. Jeez!’
‘I said happy birthday, though, didn’t I?’ he said.
I sighed. ‘Yes. Thank you, Brad.’
‘Just hurry up, all right?’
I didn’t see what his rush was, but he threw the pillow back onto my bed and shut the door before crashing down the stairs with as much grace as a hurricane. I rolled my eyes but smiled anyway, before opening my closet to find something to wear.
We were going out for lunch, but I’d change later. I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a T-shirt for now. We went out every year, and it was always a family affair. Lee and I, his parents and my dad – my mom too, when she was alive – and Brad and Noah. A couple of years, if our grandparents had been in town, they’d tag along as well.
I couldn’t be bothered to do much with my hair for now, so I just twisted it into a ponytail and went downstairs.
‘Finally,’ Brad muttered as he heard me come to the kitchen.
‘Happy birthday, bud!’ Dad said, beaming hugely. He was stood behind the kitchen table, which had a massive cake on it. It was chocolate, with strawberry frosting and white icing that said Happy 17th in messy writing.
‘Is that my breakfast?’ I joked hopefully.
‘Not quite. But me and Brad were up extra early to bake it. I’m making pancakes.’
‘Yeah, and he won’t make them till we’re all here,’ Brad grumbled. His stomach growled in response, like a caged tiger teased with meat. Dad and I both laughed. ‘He said it was silly to make them twice.’
‘That’s why you were telling me to get up, grumpy guts,’ I said, ruffling his hair as I went around to give my dad a hug.
‘How was the party? You didn’t get much chance to tell me about it yesterday.’
‘Sorry.’
‘That’s all right. You were at Lee’s all day; I thought maybe you had a killer hangover and were avoiding facing your father.’
I laughed. ‘Not quite. Nobody was drinking much anyway, really. We’re just so much fun we don’t need it, I guess.’ It was a joke but, in Dad-mode now, he just pulled a face that broadcast, You don’t need to be drunk to have fun anyway.
The rest of the morning passed pretty quickly, and by half twelve we were pulling up outside some fancy restaurant whose name I couldn’t even pronounce. I’d changed into a cute summery dress, dark blue with yellow floral patterns on. I’d just thrown on some sandals and jewelry, leaving my hair as it was.
We walked in just after the Flynn family arrived. The waiter said, ‘Ah, you’re all here. I’ll show you to your table.’
I heard June ask my brother how soccer was going, and our dads chatting too.
My eyes instantly found Noah, and he smiled at me, but before I had the chance to respond, Lee fell into step beside me. I tore my gaze away from Noah to give my best friend my full attention.
‘Happy birthday!’ we said in unison, identical grins on our faces. Lee laughed and flicked my ponytail so that it swung around like helicopter blades. I shoved my shoulder into his and gave him a big hug. He hugged me tightly, leaning back so I was tipped off my feet for a second.
‘How’s your day then?’ he asked me before we followed our families.
‘Same as when I talked to you earlier – good. You?’
‘Do I need to bother repeating your answer?’
‘No,’ I laughed.
‘Well, actually, I did get to see Rachel,’ he said. ‘Only for about an hour, before we left for here.’
‘Aw. Did she give you a big birthday kiss?’ I pulled a face and made loud kissy noises.
‘Well . . .’
‘You guys are so cute together. It’s like . . . like Spider-Man and Mary-Jane. I’d have said Batman and someone, but I don’t know who Batman dated.’
Lee just laughed. ‘What does that make you then? Beauty and the Beast? You being the Beast, of course. Noah and I share the same gene pool, and I’m definitely not from the same gene pool as the Beast. I mean, just look at me.’
I did, and pulled a face. ‘Gross.’
He laughed again and we took seats next to each other at the center of the table. Noah was opposite me, for once. It made a nice change from Brad, kicking me and complaining he didn’t have enough leg room with my ‘thunder-thighs and cankles’.
‘Happy birthday, Elle,’ he said with a soft smile.
I grinned back. ‘Thanks.’
‘So what did you get for your birthday, Lee?’ my dad asked.
‘I don’t know yet. I was waiting for Shelly.’
‘How about you, Elle?’ Matthew asked me.
‘I was waiting for Lee,’ I said, laughing sheepishly.
The waiter came up to take our drinks orders and handed out menus. Noah stood his menu up, and hunched over the table a little so that I couldn’t see anything more than his elbows and the top of his head.
I was scanning the menu I see at least once a year here, and wondering if I should be daring and try something different, or if I should just have the chicken breast with parmesan and barbecue sauce, roasted vegetables and fries.
Next thing I knew, my cell phone trilled briefly, signaling I had a new text. I thought it might be Warren or someone, texting me happy birthday.
It wasn’t Warren.
You look really pretty.
I looked up, but he was engrossed in his menu, seemingly oblivious to me. I blinked a few times before looking down at my phone and hitting REPLY.
Thanks. I didn’t know what else to say, really, so I just left it at that – short and sweet.
What are you doing later?
I don’t know. When’s later?
After cake. I’ve got something in mind for the birthday girl. There was a winking face at the end as well. I looked at the text for a moment, wondering if there was any innuendo there. Knowing him, he probably had something cheesy planned that he knew I’d love.
‘Elle, stop texting at the table,’ my dad admonished me.
‘Sorry.’
I saw Noah smirking at his menu, still not looking at me. I thought about texting back asking what he had in mind, but he was probably waiting for me to ask so that he could carry on teasing me – telling me it was a surprise just to bug me. So I didn’t give him the satisfaction. I just put my phone back in my purse.
‘Thank you,’ Dad said pointedly.
‘Are you all ready to order?’
We went back to the Flynns’ house afterward, as always, so we could open our presents and gorge ourselves on the massive cake my dad and brother had made that morning.
Lee’s parents had got him some CDs and clothes. Noah got him a new stereo for his car – he said that’s why he’d been down the scrap yard, to get some extra parts. Lee had kind of guessed what CD I got him already – it would’ve been hard not to after I’d told him he wasn’t allowed to download it on his computer a couple of days ago but refused to tell him why.
He liked the wallet too, and then opened the T-shirt. It was blue, and read, I’M WITH STUPID, and had an arrow pointing down.
He burst out laughing, then grabbed one of my presents and tossed it at me. ‘Thanks, Elle. Open that one now.’
‘Is it from you?’
‘Duh. Now open it already!’
I did. And it took me a full minute to stop laughing. He’d bought me a yellow T-shirt – from the same store too – and it said I’M WITH STUPID, and had an arrow pointing up. It was like the female version of the one I’d got him.
Talk about freaky.
‘What did you do, coordinate?’ his dad joked as I held the top up in front of me.
‘No,’ we chorused, laughing.
Lee said, ‘We’re just telepathic like that.’
He also got me a couple of books – vampire-themed ones, since he knew I had a soft spot for them – and then there was something small, wrapped up tightly and covered in so much tape, I had to tear it open with my teeth.
‘What is it?’ Brad asked impatiently, while I was still gnawing at the tape.
‘I don’t know, it’s still wrapped up!’
‘I’m not telling!’ Lee teased. There was something evil in his smile; something that made me a little scared to open it . . .
Finally the tape snapped free and I could rip the paper off. It was like pass the parcel or something; whatever it was had a long strip of the paper wrapped around it, like, a billion times over.
‘What is it?’ Brad asked, trying to see.
When I saw what it was, my cheeks flamed instantly, and I dropped it like a live bomb. ‘Lee!’
‘What? I don’t want to be an uncle yet – I’m not old enough!’
‘What, and you couldn’t have given me that when we’re not around people?’ He knew what I really meant – why in front of my dad? And his parents!
‘And your boyfriend, let’s not forget.’
I willed my cheeks to cool down, but they just wouldn’t. Dad had already started making hasty small talk with June and Matthew, all of them determinedly ignoring the packet of condoms I’d just picked up.
Noah reached down from his spot on the sofa, plucking them out of my hands. ‘Thanks, Lee. I’ll keep them handy for later.’
I didn’t think it was possible, but I went even redder. I buried my face in my hands. June coughed, and I knew that there was no way our parents had missed that comment.
Lee didn’t seem too bothered, though. He just reached over to pat my hand, saying, ‘I just want you to be careful, Shelly. I’m looking out for you here.’
‘I can’t see,’ my semi-innocent ten-year-old brother complained. ‘What is it?’
‘Grown-up stuff,’ I said.
‘Tampons,’ Lee told him.
I smacked him across the head that time – not hard, though. ‘You, my friend, are just intolerable.’
‘I know,’ he grinned, and I had to laugh. I just had to.
The parents seemed to notice that the condoms weren’t in the limelight anymore, and my dad said, ‘Here you go, Elle.’ He handed me a box. It was a long, black velvet one, like a jewelry case.
I took it hesitantly. ‘What is it?’
‘Well, it was actually, um . . . it was your mom’s. She always said she wanted you to have it though. And I meant to give it to you last year, but I’d forgotten all about it. I know seventeen’s a bit of a random age for this, but . . . I didn’t want to risk forgetting next year too.’ He gave a guilty laugh and smiled sadly.
We’d kept all my mom’s jewelry, of course we had. It wasn’t the kind of thing you threw out. I had a few pairs of earrings of hers I’d always liked when I was a little girl, and there was a gold chain I wore sometimes too. But whatever this was, it was obviously not just everyday jewelry.
I undid the gold clasp on the front of the case and opened it.
I’d thought maybe it was a necklace – some fancy string of pearls or something. But it wasn’t. It was a watch – a shiny silver one with tiny topaz gems around the face. The second hand ticked away, a slim silver line against the black face. I picked it up carefully. The blue gems looked pretty authentic, and I was sure it had been incredibly expensive.
‘The stones are real,’ Dad told me, as if reading my thoughts.
‘It’s beautiful,’ June commented with a motherly smile.
I thought maybe I’d cry. I think that’s what they all expected. I could practically see them all just waiting to see me break down in tears and cry and say I missed my mom.
And I did miss my mom. I really did. I wished she was still around; that she was there, pottering about in the kitchen, or sat watching a crappy soap on TV, or getting ready for work.
But there was nothing I could do about the fact she was gone; I’d accepted that years ago. I could miss her and want her back so bad it hurt, but I couldn’t actually do anything about it. And I got that. There was no use in crying over her when crying wouldn’t bring her back.
But I think they were shocked when I grinned and clipped the watch around my left wrist. It was cold and heavy, and it hung kind of loose, but I loved it.
‘Thanks, Dad.’
He smiled, his face showing a mixture of emotions. The sadness in his eyes; the happiness in his smile; the relief wiping away the small frown on his brow. But then he took something else out of his pocket – another small black velvet box. It was different to the one the watch had been in: there was no gold clasp and the hinges weren’t visible either.
‘Is this the matching earrings?’ I joked.
‘No – that’s this year’s present. Technically the watch is overdue . . .’ He laughed, shaking his head as if trying to banish the sadness. I smiled and took it.
And actually, I did half expect matching earrings.
It was the right shape for them, after all.
But it wasn’t earrings. It wasn’t any kind of jewelry.
‘You got me a . . . key?’ I picked it up, dangling the keychain off my fingertip and frowning at it. Then it clicked. ‘Ohmigosh! You got me a car!’
Everyone laughed, obviously knowing beforehand or, in Lee’s case, getting it before I did. I leaped up, tackling my dad with a massive hug.
‘Thank you thank you thank you thank you!’
He laughed. ‘You haven’t even seen it yet.’
‘Yeah, it could be some crappy, beat-up piece of junk that stalls every time you hit a stop sign,’ Noah joked.
‘It’s parked in the garage,’ June told me. ‘We had to hide it somewhere you wouldn’t see it, didn’t we?’
I ran outside, heaving up the garage door with a grunt.
Behind me I heard them all filtering out of the house. The garage was kind of dark; the floor was stained with oil, and Noah’s tools were scattered around everywhere. Lee’s bicycle was propped against the wall. There were footballs and soccer balls, and random pieces of old or broken furniture.
And right in the middle of it all was my birthday present.
It was a second-hand Ford Escort. It was midnight blue, and there was even a pair of neon-pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror.
‘The dice were my idea,’ Lee’s dad said. ‘Just for the record.’
I laughed, giddy, leaning in the open window on the driver’s side. The inside smelled of pine and old leather. It didn’t look like it would run like a dream, with a silent purring engine, and I wouldn’t be shocked to find myself waiting on roadside service at some point.
But I loved it instantly.
I didn’t expect my dad to get me a brand-spanking new car. I didn’t want one, either. I wanted something I wouldn’t be afraid to drive. I was never the best driver. But I finally had my own car!
‘I won’t have to bug you for a ride all the time now, Lee,’ I told him.
‘Well, I’m not riding with you,’ he quipped, his voice grave. ‘I value my life too much, thank you very much.’
I laughed and went to give my dad another hug. ‘Thank you, I love it!’
‘I know she’s not the best, but you can start off with this old girl. She’ll take a few knocks and dents, no problem.’
‘Does nobody trust my driving skills?’
Everyone laughed at that, and then Brad said, ‘All right, all right. Is it time for cake now?’
As if on cue, mine and Lee’s stomachs rumbled in tandem, and we said, ‘Most definitely,’ before racing each other inside.