Their three-week honeymoon lurched to a close faster than Scott thought possible. Both of them were tanner than they’d been when they left, Scott being darker than Danny. They had some new skills - cliff jumping, surfing, snorkeling, and horseback riding. Scott had gone parasailing, too, although Danny had stayed home for that one.

Scott had received his first kiss. He’d gotten through his first voluntary sexual experience. He’d freaked out in ways he’d never expected, but probably should have. He still had a lot of guilt about that, but he and Danny had talked through it and found a way to handle it without more drama than strictly necessary.

If Scott were being honest with himself, and he tried to always be honest with himself, he’d have to suspect Yates was disappointed with them for that. Drama brought ratings, after all, and if they flipped out at one another they’d have viewers tuning in for weeks just to watch the meltdown. On the other hand, if they didn’t freak out at one another people got to see an example of a healthy couple living their lives. It might not be all drama and shouting, but it might do some people some good.

Maybe Scott was just being snippy because he didn’t want to get on the plane. His own major freakout and guilt complex aside, he’d had a good trip. It was going to be difficult to leave sun and sand and greenery for cold, gray, snow, and stony faces. Well, he would cope. He always did.

He practiced some relaxation techniques the masseur at the spa had taught him while he waited for the plane to take off, and he managed to fall asleep before things got too bad. He fell asleep holding Danny’s hand, which felt good. Even with everything going on, he had a fantastic husband and he was proud to show affection like that.

They got back to New York on a Friday afternoon, which gave them the weekend to overcome their jet lag before they had to get back to their real lives. They unpacked. They settled back in. Scott returned to his little room on the other side of the apartment, and he was ready to stay in there forever, but Danny approached him before bed. “Do we really have to split up?”

Scott took in a sharp breath. Then he looked into his husband’s earnest, loving face. “You still want me to sleep in your bed?” he asked. “After everything? Even though we have two and you don’t have to?”

Danny just chuckled at him and held out his hand. They headed into Danny’s room together, and they went to sleep in his big bed. After sleeping together every night in Honolulu, it felt good and it felt right.

They had their first Confessional session back on the mainland on Sunday. Yates looked about as pleased with himself as a cat with a big bowl of cream, rubbing his hands together gleefully. “Oh, Scott, have we got so much planned for you this Spring!”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Good thing it’s still Winter. I mean look out the window, it’s actually snowing out.”

Yates simpered at him. “Tell me, Scott, what did you think about Hawaii?”

“I loved it.” Scott didn’t have to think about it at all. “It’s a beautiful state, with amazing people.”

“The girl you saved thought you were going to try to take advantage of her too. Was that beautiful?” Yates raised his eyebrows at Scott like he’d made some kind of point.

“It’s a problem endemic in the service industry. It happens all the time here in New York. That doesn’t make New York any less beautiful and it doesn’t mean I want to be here any less. It means she was right to question my motivations, all things considered, and bad things can happen to anyone even in paradise.” He grinned. “It doesn’t mean it’s not paradise.”

Yates scowled for just a second, but his pleasant TV mask slipped back into place a few seconds later. “Was it still paradise after you and Danny had sex?”

Scott growled at Yates. “You’re like a dog with a bone, aren’t you?”

“A little bit, yes. Don’t you think it might be of interest to our viewers?”

“Maybe. That doesn’t mean I’m comfortable going there.” He sighed. “I freaked out, which is a reasonable response under the circumstances. Not everyone’s going to react the same way, and that’s okay, but it’s how I reacted. I don’t think I could have known how I’d respond until it happened. I’m pissed about it, actually. Frustrated. But here we are, it happened, and I’m looking forward to my first therapy appointment so I can talk it over with my therapist and work on it with her.”

Yates leaned forward. “You don’t worry that he’ll find someone else?”

“He’s a man of his word. He signed the same contract I did. If he says he’s going to be faithful I have to believe him.” Scott held his head up and met Yates’ eyes.

He was full of crap, and he knew it. He believed Danny loved him. He did. He didn’t believe, couldn’t make himself believe, that Danny owed him his fidelity. It just didn’t make sense. Danny owed him nothing. Danny hadn’t signed up to get saddled with a guy like Scott. He’d done this with a view toward starting a family.

“He’s a good man, and he would never do anything intended to harm me,” Scott reiterated, and folded his hands in his lap.

Yates nodded blandly and changed the subject. They chatted for a few minutes, and then Scott was released. Scott couldn’t go, of course, without the seeds of suspicion buried deep in his head.

Danny didn’t owe him anything, and Scott knew it. That didn’t mean Danny didn’t deserve better. And the more Scott thought about it, the more he worried. The more he worried, the more certain he became that everything they’d built was doomed. Why wouldn’t it be, after all? They had nothing in common. They might love each other, but Scott had nothing to offer.

He mentioned the conversation with Yates during his next therapy appointment, before he even mentioned his sexual encounter with Danny. Jeanine, his therapist, was livid. “I swear, I’m going to find a way to sue Yates. Or else I’ll testify on your behalf if you sue. He’s not acting in your best interests, Scott.”

“Of course he isn’t.” Scott looked out the window. “He’s not supposed to. I have no idea what the ratings are like for this season, but Danny and I don’t really fight. We just talk stuff out. That has to make him insane. His job is to manufacture conflict and put butts in seats.”

She nodded, pursing her lips. “And you think he’s trying to do that by making you suspicious of Danny.”

“I don’t even know if suspicious is the word. I think hopeless is a better one.” Scott bit his tongue for a second. “It’s like, he just makes me remember that I’m not bringing a whole lot to the table here. When I’m with Danny I feel like anything is possible. Then Yates gets involved and I know that I can’t hold onto him. Not for long.”

Jeanine curled her lips into a little smile. “Okay so you know he’s doing this to you, but you’re still letting him do it.”

“Well I didn’t say it was easy to stop.” Scott had to laugh at himself there.

He told her about how he’d freaked out after sex, and why. He told her where they stood, and she put her notepad down and smiled at him. “I have to say how incredibly proud of you I am. Danny is definitely good for you, and he deserves a lot of credit, but you might be the best adjusted trauma survivor I’ve met. You’re working through a lot, but you’re self-aware enough to understand why you react the way you do. And that helps you to get through it, believe it or not.”

Scott blushed and looked away again. “I’m hardly getting through it. Poor Danny’s going to explode soon.” He ran his tongue against the back of his teeth. “Do you think it would be okay if I tried to… I don’t know, please him, without the other stuff?”

Jeanine frowned at him, and used her pencil to scratch her head. “You mean get him off, without orgasming yourself?”

Scott’s face was so hot he thought it might melt. If he couldn’t talk about this without blushing, he probably shouldn’t be doing it. Then again, blushing was a reaction out of his control. “I just - I want to make him happy, the way he makes me happy.”

Jeanine sighed. “Scott, I don’t think that would make you feel any better. And while I haven’t met Danny, I can’t imagine it would make him feel all that good either. I think you need to keep working toward your goal. You’re getting there, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t speak above a whisper. “And I want to - I want to sleep with him. I want to have sex with him. I don’t want to freak out like I did. I’m ashamed of it. And I think he’s a little disgusted by it.”

Jeanine went quiet for a moment. “Okay,” she said. “So try again.”

Scott choked on his own tongue. “What?”

“Try again. You don’t have to go all the way. If one or both of you is having a hard time with something you can always use your safe word code system. But yes, you can always try again. Most people, as they’re exploring their sexuality, don’t go from zero to sixty right away. They work up to it, see what they feel comfortable with. You didn’t do that here, because of your previous experiences, but I think you could give it a try. When the mood is right, and you’re both feeling up to it.”

Scott considered her words. His stomach churned at the very thought of giving it another try. He was afraid of the shame of failure, and he was terrified of that feeling of knowing he was just as bad as the men he’d been handed over to.

But everything in his body, other than his roiling gut, wanted to try again. He wanted to give himself over to Danny again, wanted to feel warm and safe under Danny’s strong body. He wanted that amazing sensation of being filled up with Danny. Even his gut wanted that again.

“If I know ahead of time, that I might have those feelings,” he said slowly, “I can talk myself out of them. And I can maybe do better, you know? I can stop myself.”

“Right.” Jeanine gave him a nervous smile. “And it sounds to me like Danny’s the kind of man who can help you through it, now that he knows what’s going on.”

“He shouldn’t have to.” Scott snapped the words out, cracking them like a whip.

Jeanine jumped, but she settled in only a moment. “He shouldn’t have to, but he’s willing to since he does. Which isn’t your fault. It’s your father’s, and you’re doing what you can to protect yourself from him. It’s okay, Scott. It’s okay to be angry about that, and it’s okay to allow yourself to keep trying. It’s okay to let yourself reach for that goal and try to recover what was stolen from you. You’re an omega. Your sexuality is part of you. If you were asexual, it would be unusual but it would be fine. You’re not. You’re recovering.”

“I’m recovering.” Scott closed his eyes and tried to find his center. “And sometimes that can be a little uncomfortable. It’s always worth it in the end.”

“Right. You don’t have to go and make yourself jump on Danny tonight.” Jeanine smirked. “Unless the spirit so moves you. Just do what feels right and natural, and see what happens.”

Scott promised himself he would take her advice. He had a lunch appointment after therapy, though, not with Danny but with Grant. His plan had to be put off for a little while, at least.

Grant was excited to see him, of course, and he liked the Hawaiian shirt Scott brought him. “Dude, you were on the news,” he pointed out, as they found seats. “The actual news!”

Scott’s cheeks flamed. “Oh Lord, was it a promo thing?”

“No. It was when you broke some jack hole’s arm to save a damsel in distress.”

Scott laughed. “She was an awesome lady, and tough as nails. She wasn’t any damsel in distress. I liked her.” He grinned. “We did a self-defense class for women at the hotel where she works, just for staff.”

“Good. No one better, man.” He changed the subject to a date he’d been on recently, which was more slapstick comedy than romantic interlude. Scott suspected that Grant was embellishing to get the laugh out him, but he wouldn’t object. He always had a hard time after therapy and he’d take whatever help he could get.

Then Grant changed the subject. “So, ah, I got a couple of visits, while you were away.”

“Yeah?” Scott tried not to tense up.

“Yeah. One guy was asking about Danny. Like, a lot. I ran him off, because it was creepy. I mean who shows up asking questions like that about a guy’s best friend’s husband, you know?”

“I know.” Scott ground his teeth. “There’s been a PI digging into Danny. He works for the show. You’d think they’d have done their homework before the show started.”

“Right?” Grant made a face. “The other one, though, the other one is a cop.” He dropped his voice and leaned close, so the microphones wouldn’t pick up on them. “It was weird. He threatened to run me in on obstruction of justice, man.”

Scott’s mouth went dry. “Was he from the New Rochelle PD?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I took a picture of his badge and everything.”

“Okay. Can you send it to my lawyer? I’ll send the contact number to you. That guy is not supposed to be having contact with, you know, anyone. Ty’s going to want to be involved.”

Scott texted Ty, and as it turned out Ty wanted to deal with this in person. He didn’t want to risk any cameras or any mics, either. He wanted Scott and Grant to come down to his office, as soon as they could pay their bill.

Scott took care of the money, and he explained to Grant what Ty wanted. Grant had the day off, so he didn’t care. They both headed down to Ty’s fancy office, where they found the young attorney with a fire in his eyes and a determined set to his jaw.

“This guy’s trying to intimidate witnesses and scare your best friend. He tried to pull the same stunt on my brother, too, which just goes to show he didn’t do his research ahead of time.” Ty grinned. “I’m taking that whole department down. Bring marshmallows, we’re going to roast them over the embers.”

* * *

Danny could not have been more shocked when Scott told him about the therapist’s suggestion if she’d suggested they both sell all they had and join a monastery. “She wants you to put yourself through all that again?” he blurted, falling onto the couch like a clear-cut tree.

Scott flinched. He actually flinched, and Danny felt like the worst human in the world. “Look, it’s not like that. She just wants us to take it slow and see where the spirit takes us and all that. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it. I did. I liked it too much, that’s the whole problem. And if I know what’s coming, in terms of how I might react, I can be ready for it and probably talk some sense into myself.”

Danny looked down and away. “I don’t want to be something you have to talk yourself into, Scott.”

Scott bit his lip. His face darkened, and Danny covered his mouth. He wanted to call “red” on this whole conversation. He was still settling back in at work, and he hadn’t figured out where all the dust was going to settle in terms of the military contracts and everything else. He needed to concentrate, not get caught up in emotional crap.

But this was Scott. This was his marriage, his husband, his home, and his only real family. It wasn’t “emotional crap,” it was a kind of emotion and experience he’d been avoiding for most of his life. He’d gone to such great lengths to try to put some emotion and affection back into his life that he’d humiliated himself on a reality-game show, for crying out loud. He wasn’t going to throw it all away because he was afraid to screw it up.

“Scott.” He reached out and grabbed Scott’s hand. “This is scary for me. I’m afraid of causing a setback. I don’t want to be responsible for that. And I’ve already told you I’m willing to wait as long as we have to, forever if need be, for sex. I don’t want you to feel pushed beyond your limit.”

Scott let out a sad little laugh. “I am feeling pushed, but not by you. I’m feeling pushed because I want my life back. They - my father, the people he used to punish me - they took something from me, okay? I want you. I want to be with you, and I want to be able to have sex with you without feeling like I need to be punished for it afterward. I can’t get there if —” He stopped himself and squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m putting way too much on you.”

“You aren’t.” Danny shook his head and gave Scott’s hand a little squeeze. “It’s okay. Talk to me, please.”

“The thing is, Danny, it’s not on you to fix me. There is no magical healing cock. The only thing that’s going to fix me is me. It’s going to take time, and it’s probably going to take a kind of trial and error process. I’m not saying we should go to pound town tonight.”

Danny couldn’t help it. He laughed so hard he doubled over. The very idea of Scott referring to sex in such casual and crass terms made him laugh so hard it hurt. “Going to pound town. Oh my God.”

Scott blushed and pulled back. “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing. I’m sorry. I just - I love you.”

“Okay. Well, anyway, your dinner’s ready. I’m off to work.” He didn’t reach out for a kiss or anything like that, but just headed out the door. The omission left Danny a little cold deep in his gut, but he didn’t say anything about it. The conversation had been awkward enough without getting touchy about missed kisses.

He came home at the usual time, but he stayed up a little bit later than he had before they left. Danny tried to get him to come to bed, but Scott demurred. “It’s the time zone change. It’s messing with my internal clock. I’ll be fine in a week or so. You go on ahead, I’ll go to bed when I’m ready.”

Danny went to bed by himself. Scott was apparently up at his normal hour, because the coffee was made as usual. Scott wasn’t home. Danny figured he must be in the gym working out.

He got ready for work and caught the barest of glimpses of Scott, who was just on his way in while he was on his way out. That was okay. He’d see him this evening, over dinner. Scott’s classes didn’t start until later in the evening on Wednesdays, thanks to Confessional Day. Scott usually needed a little time to recover from those.

Scott was in his room, alone, when Danny got home from work. He walked over to knock on the door, but Yates stopped him. “Scott had a challenging Confessional session, and he said he didn’t sleep well last night. Maybe we should let him sleep it off? It’s your turn for Confessional anyway.”

Danny ground his teeth. He’d just come home from a long day at work. The product manager who’d been fired had turned around and filed a lawsuit against the firm alleging improper termination, and while Danny was positive that the case was going to be thrown out the HR and PR departments wanted to settle just to avoid bad publicity. Danny couldn’t wrap his head around bad publicity coming from firing a thief, and he and Legal were going back and forth with HR and PR.

It was a nightmare.

Now Yates was trying to tell him how to handle his own husband, and couldn’t even let him grab something to eat before he had to go sit and get grilled by the wretched Yates himself. Ugh. “Fine.”

He followed Yates into the Confessional room and took his seat on the appropriate chair. It still smelled like Scott’s shampoo. He missed Scott, which was funny. He’d only been away from Scott for the day. Scott had been in his bed last night, for crying out loud. Damn it, Hawaii had gotten into his head. They’d spent so much time together, even a few hours apart seemed like a miserable hell.

Yates simpered at him again. “How is it going, getting back to your old routine again?”

Danny faked a smile. “Well, you know, we’re hoping not to get back to the old routine.”

Yates widened his eyes in a gesture of surprise so fake it might have been listed as a news item on social media. “Oh? What brought that on?”

“I know you remember this, I was pretty resistant to the idea of a honeymoon when you brought it up but I have to hand it to you. We went through a lot, we did a lot, and we spent a ton of time together. I think it was good for us, as a couple, and we came out a lot stronger for it. I’d like to think we have a plan to change our routines for the better, make our marriage better. Don’t you?”

Yates smirked. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Then he laid his hand on the side of his face. “But oh dear, it seems as though you’ve already started slipping into your old habits, haven’t you?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Having jobs is not backsliding, Yates. It’s normal.”

“Sure, sure.” He snapped his fingers, and the replay screen beside him sprang to life. “This is Scott leaving the hotel room when you boys were in Honolulu.” The scene looked fairly normal. “And here is Scott leaving the apartment yesterday.” The unedited clip showed Scott walking out, without any touch or kiss or even a wave.

Last night it had been disquieting, but Danny hadn’t said anything. Now, seeing it on film, he had to look away. He remembered the conversation, but that didn’t change the fact that their parting seemed cold.

He didn’t need to get into that with Yates, though. “Okay, look. You’re showing this completely out of context and you know it.”

“Would that be the context in which Scott approached you about having sex again and you turned him down?”

“I didn’t turn him down.” Danny threw his hands up into the air. “Oh my God, if you think you have video of that it’s been edited and faked, okay? I didn’t turn him down. I told him I didn’t want to be responsible for any setbacks.”

“Well you certainly did say that. But you also said you didn’t want to be something Scott had to talk himself into, even though he’d already told you what was really going on. You did turn him down. Now of course, Danny, that’s perfectly reasonable. You have that right.”

“Except that’s not what I did.” Danny’s palms ran slick with sweat.

Yates favored the camera with a knowing smirk. “I think that’s up to the viewers, don’t you?”

Danny couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. He clutched at his chest. “You’re insane,” he wheezed. “Did you seriously sit there and convince Scott that I’d somehow rejected him?”

“I didn’t have to. He already knew.” Yates shook his head with mock sadness. “Ah well. Doomed from the start, I suppose.”

“You bastard.” Danny jumped up from his seat. “I swear to God, if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to make you regret playing with people’s lives like this.”

“Oh come off it. First of all, you signed up for this. So did he, although I’ll buy the fact that he just showed up to support his friend. I have no sympathy, since he should have read what he was signing, but you know. Details. Second, I’m not playing with anything here. He came to his own conclusions, from your words and behavior. You might well sit down and ask yourself, ‘What is it about me that made poor little Scott sit there and think I might not love him anymore?’” Yates held his chin in his left hand and tapped one finger against his jawline.

“Now honestly, Danny, I could care less. I’m here for the viewers, not for you and not for him. But don’t blame me when it was all you. Some men are just born bachelors. Maybe you’re one of them. Have you considered that?”

Danny pursed his lips. “I’m not. I know exactly what my goal is and what I want from my life. I want a husband. I want kids. I want Scott. Not necessarily in that order.”

“Well, sweetheart, I’m afraid you can’t have all three. But you’re a businessman. You probably know all about how to compromise and get what you need most that way.” He gestured to the cameraman. “And we’re done.”

“Whatever it is you think you’re doing here…” Danny ground his teeth together and held his fists at his sides. If he punched Yates, he would go to jail. No one needed that. He couldn’t do anyone any good from jail.

“I’m doing my job, alpha.” Yates’ lip curled. “Maybe go and do yours.”

Danny snarled and headed out of the room. He headed over to Scott’s room, but he was already gone.

His pulse thundered in his ears as he texted Scott. Had Scott taken off already? Where could he have gone? He sent a text to Grant, on the off chance that Grant had heard from him. Whatever Yates had done, Danny needed a chance to counter it.

Scott texted him back right away. I’m on my way to the dojo. Going to try to work some of this angst off of me before I get anywhere near the students tonight lest Yates’ funk become contagious.

Danny slumped against the wall and slid down it, until he landed on the ground. He didn’t care about the suit. It could always be dry cleaned. Scott was just on his way to work, a little bit early. That was all. It wasn’t a big deal.

Except for the part where it was a big deal.

Are we good? His hands shook as he typed the message.

Scott replied a few seconds later. Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?

Danny breathed easier. He wiped the sweat from his face and glowered at the Confessional door before he slid up to his feet. Screw Yates, anyway.

He ate the dinner Scott had left for him and sat down to get some work done. He didn’t get very far before the doorman called. Ty Cunningham was here to see him, and hopefully Scott. It was urgent.

Danny couldn’t think why Cunningham would be there this late to talk to either of them, but if he were it would be Scott he wanted to talk to. He buzzed Cunningham in and waited.

Cunningham looked around. His shrewd eyes picked up on each and every hidden camera, or at least the hidden cameras Danny knew about. “Is there someplace without surveillance equipment we can go, where we can have a conversation?” he asked, wrinkling his nose. “And where’s Scott?”

“Scott’s at work.” Danny sighed. “He’ll probably be out fairly late.”

“Damn it. Okay. Is there someplace we can go, or do I have to drag you back to my office?”

Danny was going to have to burn this shirt if anything made him sweat again today. Now Cunningham was making him sweat right through it. “None of the bathrooms have equipment in them. That’s just gross.”

“Excellent.” Ty grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the master bath. “Just in case, I want to warn anyone watching or listening that the following is governed by attorney-client privilege and you are required to turn off all recording devices immediately.”

Danny turned on the water. It was wasteful, but not as foolish as expecting anyone from Making It Work to obey the law. “Okay, come on, Ty. What’s up?”

“So, I know my brother flew out to Hawaii to tell you about the cop who’s been bothering your associates, and Scott’s, while you were away.” Ty glanced at the door.

“Yeah. That’s an expensive flight.”

“Well you know Keegan.” Ty snorted. “He probably just wanted to see the island, and then there’s the whole thing where he actually did need to speak to you in secret. We don’t know if your phones are bugged or not, so it’s safest to assume that they are.”

“Because that’s not creepy at all.” So far Scott was the only good thing to come out of this show.

“It is what it is.” Ty shrugged. “Anyway, I’ve done some aggressive digging. The cop in question is indeed a detective, from New Rochelle PD.”

Danny punched the wall. Tile shattered under his fist. “I’ll kill them all. I will.”

Ty smirked, just a little. “Easy, tiger. I mean I was right there with you, believe me. I even bought marshmallows and roasting sticks, because I was all set to burn that department to the ground. And then the cop in question paid me a visit.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Detective McDonald works in Internal Affairs.”