Scott rode his high from Thanksgiving right into the Christmas season. His dinner had been simple, but with only two of them sharing it he hadn’t needed to make a bigger deal of it. Danny had even taken off the next day, just to spend it with him. They’d taken the weekend, since the dojo was closed, and driven up to Newport just to get a little bit of a break. They shared a hotel room, although it had two beds, and they spent their days walking around a beautiful little town and enjoying the sights.

They even took a ghost tour, because they were just feeling that silly.

Sharing a bedroom with Danny was awkward at first. Scott felt weird about being undressed around his husband. He trusted Danny, he had no reason not to trust Danny, but he also worried about getting too familiar with him. Would he be leading Danny on if he left his shirt in the bedroom when he came out of the shower, or was that just too arrogant?

The awkwardness only lasted a night or so before they settled into a routine. They even fell asleep in each other’s arms by Saturday night, exhausted beyond embarrassment by the intense amount of walking they’d done. Scott was in great shape, and he knew it, but the constant walking wore him down like nothing else.

As December rolled around, Scott found himself thinking about what he wanted to get Danny for Christmas. Spending money on Danny would probably be wasted, because Danny just bought whatever he wanted and Scott didn’t make the same kind of money Danny did anyway. “I know what I want to give him,” he told his therapist, Jeanine. “I want to give him everything. But I’m not there yet.”

“I wouldn’t say you are, no.” Jeanine put her notebook down and smiled at him, a soft expression on her pretty face. “I know you’re trying. And you’re getting better. You said you slept in the same bed in Newport, and that’s good news, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he sighed. “And I wanted to do more. I just - I couldn’t. Every time I tried to psych myself up to initiate something, I’d see one of their faces.” He turned his head away. He couldn’t face her, even though her whole job was to listen and not judge.

“Well, you know what? That’s normal. You shouldn’t even really try to go from zero to sixty just like that.” Jeanine leaned forward. “I know you’re frustrated, and you feel like you’re moving slow. Maybe try a kiss first. It’s okay to take your time with it, Scott. And if he can’t handle you taking your time, he’s not good enough to handle the rest of you either.”

Scott rubbed at his scalp. “I know that. I really do. And it’s not him who seems impatient.” He lifted his head. “Maybe he’s not even into me. Not like that. It would be hard to blame him if he wasn’t, you know? I’ve got a nice body, but crazy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.”

“We try not to use that term,” Jeanine reminded him. “First of all, you’re not ‘ill,’ you’re traumatized. Injured, rather than ill. It’s a subtle difference but I think it’s an important one here. And secondly, being in therapy means you’re getting help for what’s going on with you. It’s not out of touch with reality, it’s as in touch with reality as it’s possible to get.”

Scott smiled at her. “I know. Intellectually I know, anyway. It’s harder to make myself believe it, but part of the reason for that is because I’ve always been discouraged from seeing myself in any kind of good light. Which we’re working on. Seriously, though, he’s probably just counting down the days until we’re done.”

“Something tells me that’s very much not the case, but I don’t know him so I can’t assess. And it’s not my job to build you into someone he wants.” Jeanine raised her eyebrow at him. “It’s my job to help you build yourself into someone you can be happy with, and hopefully he’ll want to be with you too.”

A chime rang out from her computer, and Jeanine grimaced. “Okay, well, that’s our cue. This week you’re going to work on getting out of your room, right?”

Scott blushed and laughed at himself. “Yeah. I am.”

“Good. Same time next week, and I’ll see you then!”

Scott headed back to Danny’s apartment. It would have been great to say he could nap after therapy. He appreciated Jeanine and everything she did for him, but Jeanine would be the first to say therapy was hard work, and all of that work was emotional. Retreating someplace quiet and having a snooze would be a good way to recover.

But sadly, Amos Yates had figured out exactly when his therapy appointments ended, and scheduled Scott’s Wednesday Confessional sessions for immediately after. Sometimes Scott felt generous and figured Yates did it for efficiency. The rest of the time, he ascribed Yates’ motivations to sadism.

He showed up at the house, let the staff slather him in makeup, and sat down in the chair. Christ on a crutch, he hated this. At least in therapy he had the certainty he was dealing with an uninterested third party, someone whose only interest was his recovery. Yates’ interest was in ratings, and ratings were only improved with drama and pain.

Yates took his place across from Scott, a prissy little smirk on his face. Scott knew Yates was technically better than he was. Yates was wealthy. He was a household name, while Scott was an obscure figure who would fade back into the shadows as soon as May rolled around. Scott still wouldn’t want to be Yates. Scott didn’t believe in auras, but if he did he’d describe Yates’ aura as slick with oil and filth.

“Scott,” Yates purred. “It’s good to see you. How is therapy going?”

“It’s going. You know. Therapeutically.” Scott rolled his eyes. How did Yates think it was supposed to go?

“Excellent. Have you heard from your parents recently?”

“They’re not allowed to contact me. They have to go through my lawyer. It’s the law.” He smirked back over at Yates. “I may not be all college-educated and all that crap, but I’m definitely smart enough to understand that.”

Yates frowned at him, just for a second. “You don’t want to clear the air with them? Get closure? If you want to start a family of your own someday, don’t you think it’s important to close the loop on that chapter of your life?”

Scott narrowed his eyes at Yates. “Some people might think that, but it doesn’t really work that way. They’re abusers who don’t see that they’ve done anything wrong, so interacting with them won’t bring closure. It would just reopen old wounds that need to heal. What I need to move forward is internal, not external.” He couldn’t take credit for the line, it had come from Jeanine, but he’d go with it anyway.

Yates curled his lip. “Well isn’t that charming. Have you considered the possibility that your parents may be looking for closure? After all, as you mentioned, they don’t think they did anything wrong. Their child was ripped away from them, and as far as they’re concerned it was for no reason at all.”

Scott scowled at him. “Are you high right now?” He leaned forward. “Seriously, I’ve got to know, man. What are you on? Because that’s not just BS, that’s the kind of crock that could only come from an imagination liberally watered with mind-altering substances. People who are worried about ‘losing’ their child don’t do what mine did. Period, end of sentence.”

Yates adjusted his tie. “Well, there are two sides to every story.” A little bead of sweat appeared at his temple. “You must understand, I have to be fair to everyone involved.” He cleared his throat. “So, you and Danny.”

“Me and Danny.” Scott didn’t lose any of the tension to his body. He didn’t want to. He was coiled and ready to strike.

“You’re still not sleeping together.”

“No.”

“Do you see that as a problem?”

Scott sighed. “It is a problem, because I want to be a decent husband to Danny. It’s not a problem in the sense that I worry about the amount of sex we’re not having. He’s a great guy. I like him a lot.” His cheeks blazed, and he hated himself for showing this much weakness in front of Yates. “The only issue is that when I think about sex, I want to throw up. But I don’t know, man, some people are into that. Maybe you’re one of them. I think that’s a check box on MateMatcher dot com. Maybe you should check it out.”

Scott hated everything about these Confessional sessions, and about Amos Yates, but making Yates gape like a fish might have been the crowning achievement of his existence.

“I - that’s not appropriate.” Yates sat up as straight as he could. His skin had gone white, except for two outraged spots of red.

“Neither is quizzing me about how much sex I’m not having with Danny, but here we are.” Scott smiled as sweetly at Yates as he could. “There’s no shame in having a kink. Just so long as it’s all safe, sane, and consensual.”

Yates floundered at him for a minute. “Do you like Danny, Scott?” he asked, trying to recover his position of authority.

Scott nodded. “I do. I didn’t expect to. And I don’t think either of us made a great first impression on the other. That said, he’s an incredible guy. I like talking to him.” He hated the way he smiled when he spoke, but he shouldn’t be embarrassed by his feelings. Even if Danny didn’t feel the same way about him, he shouldn’t be upset by the fact that he’d captured part of Scott’s damaged heart. “I like spending time with him. I can’t - we’re not equals, financially speaking. I can’t show him how I feel by going out and spending a bunch of money on gifts or anything. But I’ve been having fun cooking for him, even when I’m not at home to see him eat it.” He looked away. “For all I know he’s just throwing it away and ordering take out, but if he is it just makes me love him more. He lets me feel good about it, instead of telling me to stop.”

Yates’ face softened, even after Danny’s comments about his “fetish.” “I’m positive he’s not doing that.” He leaned forward for a second and reached out, like he wanted to be reassuring. Then he seemed to remember himself, because he sat back up and shook his head just a little bit. “He’s had nothing but good things to say about your cooking. He’s remarkably proud of you.”

Scott wanted to believe. He did. He just couldn’t believe anything that came from Yates. “Anyway,” he said, looking away. “I think he’s a fantastic guy. I’m sorry for him, that he’s stuck with a guy like me, but that’ll be over in May and he’ll be able to find someone who’s really worth his time. Someone who can give him everything he needs and wants from a marriage, instead of someone with whom he has to compromise so many things.”

Yates knit his eyebrows together. “So you still don’t want to continue the marriage past the end of filming.”

“I think Danny deserves better. He wants a family. He wants children. I know his parents are upset because I’m not what they want for their son, and I don’t blame them. I just want what’s best for Danny, what will bring him closest to his goals.” Scott turned his head away from the camera entirely.

“If you could give him the things he wants, would you stay with him?” Yates’ voice had gone soft now.

“I would.” Scott licked his lips. “But I also don’t want to lead him on and make him think it’s going to happen. There aren’t any guarantees, especially when it comes to a guy’s mental state, you know?”

“I suppose not.”

Scott was allowed to leave, and now he did get to take his nap. He couldn’t have done much else. He’d just admitted to some deeply personal facts, and he wasn’t foolish enough to think they’d edit any of that out.

He went to work after his nap, teaching classes for kids and then adults before coming home. He found Danny waiting up for him there, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Hey,” he said, in a soft and shy voice that he hated. “How come you’re still up?”

“I had a little chat with Captain Charming there.” Danny made a face. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. He told me you said some pretty personal stuff there in Confessional.”

Scott headed into the kitchen to heat up dinner. It was easier than having to meet Danny’s eyes. “Yeah, well, you know. Yates manages to get under my skin sometimes. It’s not a pretty place.”

“Nah. I think he was just surprised.” Danny took a deep breath and followed him into the kitchen. “You know, we’re adults. We should be able to talk about relationship crap, like adults. And not just kind of sit on it, and make decisions based on assumptions.” He put his hand over Scott’s.

Scott’s breath caught in his throat, and not out of fear. “What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is, yeah, going into this marriage I had milestones I was trying to hit. It’s true. And going into this marriage, you didn’t even want to be here at all. Am I right?”

Scott popped his dinner into the microwave. “You know that’s true.”

“Well, that was before we actually knew each other. At this point, I don’t give a good goddamn about any milestones, except the ones you make in therapy because I’m proud of you. Not because I’m trying to get to any other goals, okay? I love you, Scott. We didn’t meet the way other couples meet, and I didn’t come into this marriage with the right mindset. But you’re my husband, I want what’s right for you, and if we never get around to having kids or sleeping together I’m still going to care about you. Okay?”

Scott looked up into Danny’s eyes. He couldn’t see any guile. All he could see was the same blunt honesty with which Danny went through life. “Danny.” He swallowed. “I just want you to get everything you want in life, everything you deserve. I want you to have a family, someone to leave everything to. I want you to have someone you can be proud to show up to things with, someone your family won’t turn their noses up at.”

“Diana and Bill can go to Hell. You’re the one I want.” Danny put his hands on Scott’s shoulders and kissed his forehead. “Everything else is a nice bonus, but you’re the important part.”

Scott rested his head on his husband’s shoulder.

* * *

Danny scanned the web page in front of him. Nothing on it looked even remotely like it would appeal to Scott, not even a little bit. Scott wasn’t a flashy dresser. He’d look amazing in some of these outfits. He’d look amazing in a burlap sack, if he decided to put one on, but that wasn’t the point. None of those fit Scott’s style. He wouldn’t be happy wearing them, and Danny wanted Scott to be happy.

Christmas was hard.

In past years, he’d asked an admin to order appropriately neutral holiday gifts for the whole company, within a budget of course. He would go to some other website and go to the section marked “Gifts for Mom” or “Gifts for Dad,” and he would order something in a given price range, and that would be the end of it as far as he was concerned. Gifts from his parents would arrive, eventually, usually before March 1, and it would all be fine.

This was different. He didn’t want to just take a stab at a website and get something generic from the “Gifts for Him” section. Not for Scott. He wanted to get something for Scott that made Scott smile, that truly spoke to their relationship with each other. The only problem with that was that Scott’s interests were pretty simple. Danny had never seen him wear jewelry, other than his wedding band. He’d never seen him show an interest in clothes. High-end cookware felt weirdly unromantic. What else might he want?

He slouched. Everything had been easier when he’d been single and cold.

He made himself sit up. Maybe it had been easier, but it hadn’t been better. A smile crossed his face as he remembered the feeling of Scott’s warm body pressed up against his side. Earning his first million, and then his first billion, had been incredible feelings. He’d been immensely proud of himself. That feeling hadn’t even remotely compared to how he felt when he’d earned that much of Scott’s trust.

Scott liked to feel warm. He changed websites and found a place that made high end home goods. Since Scott liked to feel warm, Danny would make him feel warm. He ordered warm pajamas, warm slippers, warm blankets and throws to put around the house. They could cuddle up underneath one of the throws and watch a game, or one of the action flicks Scott liked to watch.

Just the thought of it made him giddy.

The purchases were his last responsibility for the day. Danny had plenty of other things he could do. He had reports to read, and profits in the military sector were down by more than than twenty-five percent this year. Considering the current administration, Danny found the downturn suspicious. It bore looking into, but he didn’t feel like dealing with it just this minute. Military contracts weren’t the cornerstone of their business, they were just nice to have, and right now Danny just wanted to get home to his husband. He could look into the minutiae of the military projects while Scott was at work.

He packed up his things and headed back to his apartment. He’d normally take a ride share, or even walk if the weather was good, but since Make It Work was providing a limo he might as well make use of it. The limo got him home in a few minutes, so Scott was still there when he arrived.

Scott smiled when he got there, truly happy to see him. The breakfast bar was already set with one place setting. Scott didn’t like to eat much right before heading out for his evening classes, but he liked to know Danny was getting a decent meal. He kissed Danny’s cheek and loaded his plate for him, and then he ran out.

Yates had called as soon as Scott was out the door, almost as if he was watching. He probably was, because he was a creepy bastard like that. “Danny, this is Amos Yates. I hope you and Scott don’t have any plans for the evening, because I need to have some words with both of you.”

Danny glanced at his calendar. “That’s exactly how I wanted to spend my Tuesday evening, Yates. In your charming company.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you then.”

Yates had managed to spoil the good mood Scott’s quick kiss had created in only about a minute. Oh well - that would just make it easier for Danny to get back to work. Once he finished with the chicken and potato dish Scott had whipped up, he sat down and teased out proof that the product manager for military guidance systems seemed to be charging about twenty-five percent more for overhead to the company books than had been done in previous years. It seemed odd, and it seemed oddly obvious too. He scratched his head at his screen. If he were going to commit fraud, he wouldn’t be quite so bold as to book random charges to “overhead.”

He fired off an email to Frank, his CFO, instructing him to sort it out. Just as he hit send, Scott and Yates walked through the door. Scott looked tense, as any rational human being would when in company with Yates. A makeup and hair person followed them in, much to Danny’s chagrin. Whatever was going on was obviously going to be a big deal.

Danny let them do their worst to him. He kept his mouth shut about their efforts on Scott’s behalf. He kind of liked what the lip liner did to his lips, but he didn’t think Scott wanted to know that.

Once they’d been primped and primed and whatever else, Danny and Scott were seated on the couch while camera and sound people entered the apartment. At least Yates had given them warning. He hadn’t just shown up with a horde of people or anything like that. Danny would take whatever small favors he could get right now. “Action,” called the director, or whoever was filling that role today.

Yates straightened up and turned his full smarm factor up to eleven. “Gentlemen, it’s good to see you today. I can’t help but notice that you haven’t decorated for the holidays.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “We - neither one of us - are big show-offs when it comes to the holidays. I don’t know if you noticed that with the whole Thanksgiving thing.”

Scott took Danny’s hand and nodded. “It’s true. We celebrate in smaller ways. We don’t need to be ostentatious about it. That’s just not us.”

“Ah ha ha ha.” That was Yates’ whole laugh. It wasn’t even a real laugh, just the words ah ha ha ha. It made Danny’s fists itch, but everything about Yates made Danny’s fists itch. “Don’t you see all the decorations along Fifth Avenue and long to replicate them here?”

“Not every gay man is an interior decorator, Yates.” Danny scowled at him.

“Some are, and that’s fine. The fact is, neither one of us has that kind of talent, or patience, or interest.” Scott gave Danny’s hand a squeeze. They could get through this absurdity if they stuck together.

“No. But perhaps you could consider a little bit of holiday cheer.” Yates glanced significantly around the room. “Or, alternatively, you could go somewhere for the occasion where the holiday decorating and fixings are all done for you.”

Danny stared at their nemesis. If he stared long enough, maybe he’d figure out what the old man was going on about. “What, move into the Saks shop on Fifth? We don’t need that.”

“No, don’t be foolish. It was pointed out in a staff meeting that no contestants on Make It Work have ever gone on a honeymoon.”

Danny turned his head to look at Scott, but Scott was just gaping in blank incomprehension. “A honeymoon?” He snorted. “It’s a little late in the day for that kind of thing, don’t you think?”

“Nonsense. I know a couple up in Massachusetts who waited five years to go on their honeymoon.”

“They went on a vacation. It’s not a honeymoon if it’s five years later.” Scott finally spoke up. “What’s really going on here?”

“What’s really going on here is that you and Danny Boy are going to Hawaii for a three-week honeymoon. You’ll leave the day after Christmas and you’ll stay until the middle of January. Make It Work will cover all expenses, of course, but you’ll be expected to perform a series of enjoyable tasks.”

“That sounds ominous.” Danny shook his head. “Sorry, but you can’t just show up three weeks before you want us to go on vacation and tell us we’re leaving town for three weeks. We both have jobs. We both have responsibilities.”

“Scott, I’ve already discussed the honeymoon with the owner of your dojo. He told me that the dojo would be closed for two of those weeks anyway, due to the holiday, and that you’ve never taken a vacation or sick time so you’re due. And he’s authorized the time, so you have no reason not to go. Danny, you’re the President and CEO. If you want to take the vacation, you can take the vacation.”

“You make it sound so easy, like all a CEO has to do is golf. It doesn’t work like that. We’re looking at some serious issues within the firm, and a company whose CEO just wanders off without notice isn’t going to be very successful in the long run.” Danny crossed his arms over his chest. “And I definitely don’t play golf.”

“We’ll have to make sure golf lessons are included in your itinerary out in Hawaii, then.” Yates beamed at him. “And I’ve discussed this with your COO and CFO. You’ll be able to take the time. Like Scott, you haven’t taken a vacation since you started your company. That’s not healthy, Danny. You both need a vacation, and this will be the perfect opportunity for you to spend some time together without work and city life getting in the way.”

Scott licked his lips. “We like city life. We’re not beach people.”

“Give it a try. You might find you like it.” Yates spread his arms. “Expand your horizons. Try new things. Explore new surroundings and new experiences. Who knows, you might find Hawaii is exactly what you need to relax and rejuvenate.”

“I’m twenty-two. How exactly do I ‘rejuvenate’ without making myself underage?” Scott raised an eyebrow at Yates, and Danny snickered.

“He’s got a point. This is not your best idea, man. Maybe we should focus on our relationship, not some dippy scavenger hunt out on an island somewhere. You know, making it work?”

Yates pursed his lips. “Oooh, a scavenger hunt! I hadn’t thought of that! You boys are going to have so much fun in Hawaii! Anyway, hope you have bathing suits, because your flight leaves at six in the morning on the twenty-sixth. Enjoy!”

“And cut!” The director stood up. The makeup person descended to clean the three of them up, while Yates laughed at them. The camera crew left the building in the meantime.

“I’ve never seen a pair so averse to fun and relaxation as the two of you.” He shook his head as the makeup artist scrubbed the paint from his face. “This is going to be so much fun. I can’t wait to see you there. Don’t forget the sunblock. I’d hate to see you with a burn on the top of your bald head.”

After they’d been cleaned up, and after Yates finally left, Danny and Scott were finally alone. They weren’t really in private, the “hidden” cameras all over the apartment wouldn’t let them ever really be in private, but it still felt more intimate than having a house full of people and big heavy camera rigs. Now Danny could turn to Scott. “So. Hawaii.”

“Oh happy day.” Scott made a face and headed to the kitchen. He still hadn’t eaten, and Danny cringed. Scott shouldn’t have had to go through all that on an empty stomach. “I’m sorry. I’ve never done something like that, so I certainly shouldn’t turn my nose up at it. You know?”

“Maybe.” Danny made a face. “I’m not exactly Mr. Vacation either. Yates was right about that, at least. Look, we’re both hard working guys, right? You’re not offended that I don’t want to do this?”

Scott wrinkled his nose adorably. “Part of me thinks I should be, you know? Oh what’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want to go on this all expenses paid trip with me to a tropical island and have a romantic getaway?” He pressed his hands to his chest and fluttered his eyelashes as his dinner heated up, and Danny chuckled. “The thing is, I already know exactly what’s wrong with me. And neither of us would know what to do on a beach. I’ve been to a beach, with Grant. We sat in the sun. We got sunburns. We went home again, bored out of our gourds, and promised we’d never do anything of the sort again.”

Danny snorted. “Yeah, well, I can’t see how it would be different this time. Except this time there will be Mandatory Fun.” He made a face. “We’ve done a vacation before, remember?”

Scott smiled and rested his head on Danny’s shoulder. “We went to Newport. It was amazing.”

“That’s more our thing. We’re still near where we need to be, we’re doing things that are relevant to our interests. None of this scavenger hunt or golf crap.” Danny slung an arm around Scott’s shoulder.

Scott sighed. “Maybe if we look at it as a job, you know? We’re getting paid to be on the show, so being in Hawaii will basically be a big business trip for us. We’ll be there for work, all the dumb activities they’ll have us doing will be job-related.”

“That’s probably the way to do it.” Danny kissed the top of Scott’s head. “It will be nice to spend more time with you, I just have no idea what to do without my real job right there, you know?”

“I know.”

The microwave dinged, and Scott sat down to eat. They both retired to bed soon afterward. It was only in bed that Danny remembered the whole of what Scott had said.

I know exactly what’s wrong with me. Scott had been operating under the assumption that Danny just didn’t want to do a honeymoon with him. Scott should know better, since they’d gone to Newport for that long weekend and they’d admitted they loved each other.

Danny knew, though, that “should know better” didn’t mean “did know better,” especially with someone whose psyche was as scarred as Scott’s. Scott needed more reassurance that Danny did love him, and wanted to spend his time with him. He’d probably always be a little bit jittery about that kind of thing, just because of what he’d been through growing up.

Danny was happy to give it to him. All he had to do was remember that was what he needed. He’d get there. It was going to be a learning curve for both of them. They had time.