Scott took a deep breath and walked into his therapist’s office. Jeanine would be able to deal with this. She’d know how to handle it. She couldn’t tell him whether he should keep it or surrender it, depending on whether or not the test came back positive of course, but she could help him get a test without getting caught on camera.

And maybe she could help him work through the other stuff, too.

He sat down on her couch while she got ready for their appointment. “So,” Jeanine began, once she’d finished shuffling papers around. “How are things with you this week?”

“Okay.” He swallowed. “It was a quiet St. Patrick’s Day as these things go. I went to Alex’s place. He went, um, to the Hellion Club.”

“So things haven’t improved between you.” She frowned.

“Not really. I think we’ve found a groove, you know? This is where we are. Um, you know. I do have something I want to bring up.”

“The fact that this groove means you’re not speaking and you have no idea where the other one is at any given time?” Jeanine laid her pen on one side of her mouth, a pensive pose. “Because you might want to fix that if you want the marriage to continue past the end of filming.”

“What’s the point?” Scott looked away. “We already know it won’t. He doesn’t need me. He doesn’t want me. I don’t…” He let his voice trail off. “Thinking about that isn’t good for me, I think. It’s probably better for me to focus on things I can control, and on positive things. I do have one big problem I’d like to talk about with you, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” She moistened her lips. “What is it?”

“I think I might be pregnant.”

“Congratulations.” She widened her eyes a little bit. “But wait - I thought he wasn’t touching you.” She all but counted on her fingers. “Wouldn’t that make you something like twelve weeks?”

“Uh, yeah. I won’t be able to hide it much longer if I am. I feel like I already look pretty soft and gross, but that’s probably self image issues and anxiety about the whole situation talking. I can probably keep it hidden if I just dress baggy for the rest of filming, but I feel like I should know. If that makes any sense.”

“Well yeah. Yeah, you should know. What’s stopped you from going and getting a pregnancy test yourself?”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Not wanting to give Yates the drama fodder?”

Her face lightened as understanding dawned. “I wonder if I don’t just need more coffee today. We have some tests in the supply closet. I can see why you wouldn’t want to get caught on camera with one, especially if you didn’t know. But —” Jeanine stopped herself. “We can talk about that after you take your test. Come on, let’s get you into a bathroom first.”

He obeyed. She got him a test and he headed into a bathroom to fill it. He refused to look at it while he waited for the results to come back, pacing around the tiny room until the timer beeped. When it did, though, he wasn’t even remotely surprised by the results.

He threw the test away and retreated to Jeanine’s office. “I’m pregnant,” he confirmed without preamble. Tears threatened, just on the edge of his vision, but he fought them back. “Surprise.”

She snorted. “I’m guessing you don’t want the baby.”

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was ugly ceiling tile, and somehow that comforted him. “If we were still in Hawaii, and things were good, I’d be ecstatic. I wanted to give Danny everything, you know? I love him. He was so good to me, even though we didn’t think I could give him what he wanted most. It would have been amazing to be able to go up to him and say, ‘Danny, honey, we’re going to have a baby. You’re going to get the family you’ve dreamed about.’”

“But as it is, you’re less enthusiastic.” She scribbled furiously.

He looked down. “I’m going to have to quit my job. My boss is a great guy, but he can’t afford to hold my place open while I give birth and recover. You can’t have a pregnant martial arts instructor. You just can’t. It’s not safe. Danny’s already got a kid, by someone a thousand times better than me. He’s sure not going to want this kid, with all the baggage and negative reminders that come with it.”

“And you’re sure he’s already decided you’re splitting up.”

“He set up his will so that everything he has goes to his son. The one he already has.” Scott put his hand on his belly. “I don’t begrudge him that at all. He doesn’t owe me a damn thing, you know? It’s a signal, though. It lets me know what his long term plans are, and they don’t include me.”

Jeanine nodded slowly. “I see. So you’re absolutely positive you’ll be raising this child on your own.”

“No. I have the option to give the child up for adoption.”

Jeanine put her pen down. “You don’t think that would be a challenge? I mean Scott, you’re a warm-hearted man who loves connection. Aren’t you worried it would be difficult to let go of a child once you’d carried it inside you for so long?”

“Of course. But it’s not about me. I’m an adult. I’ve made my own decisions. Bad ones. This would be a baby, one who isn’t in a position to decide anything for itself yet. It’s my job to make the best possible decision for that baby, and I know myself. I’m a damn mess. I can barely put one foot in front of the other some days, and I have no idea what a proper family life is like. If I had family, or help, I might be able to think about it.

“But it’s just going to be me out there, you know? I’d want to be a good dad, but I don’t exactly know what the right way to raise a kid is. I don’t know the right way to respond when you get mad or frustrated. I don’t know what to do when you get scared. I know kids can be clumsy, and I know they can screw up, but I don’t know what you’re supposed to do to help them. I know what the wrong way is, but I don’t know how to replace that.”

Jeanine bowed her head. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I can see that. It feels sad to me, but you do need to consider the child’s needs first. At least you’ll have the money from the show to keep you going, if you have to leave your job.” She swallowed. “How do you plan to tell Danny?”

“I don’t suppose I can get away with just… not telling him.” Scott slumped in his seat.

“Not really. You can try, but it will backfire on you.” She gave him a sweet smile. “You don’t have to figure out how to tell him right now, but you should figure it out soon. Otherwise he’ll sit there trying to find a diplomatic way to ask you if you’re gaining weight and it will just be awkward all around.”

He gave another mournful sigh. “I know. I know. But… he’s all excited about his son and everything. I don’t want to bring him down.”

“That’s very sweet.” She gave him an old-fashioned look. “I’m pretty sure there’s something else going on there, but that’s sweet. Let’s unpack it, shall we?”

He groaned. “I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” She looked at him over the edge of her notepad.

He looked at the carpet, and then back up at her. “I don’t want him to keep me around just because of the kid. Okay?” He took a deep breath. Getting hostile toward her wouldn’t make anything any better. “I don’t… I’m afraid he’d feel compelled to keep me around because of the baby, but the way we’ve been going on since we got back from Hawaii has been miserable.”

“It sounds like it. And I’d love for you to be able to see some joy in the baby, but it doesn’t seem like you’re able to do that. Which is fine, by the way. I’m not judging you and it’s a perfectly normal and reasonable response to your circumstances. I can see why you wouldn’t want to keep things going on the way they are.”

“The only reason I’m able to keep going on like this without breaking down is because I know there’s an end date. I can do a countdown. I know at the end of it I’ll be able to afford to buy a place, and I’ll be able to live some kind of life of my own. I won’t have to worry about all of this anymore.”

“Right.” She swallowed. “Well, try to come up with a way to let him know in a way that doesn’t seem to force a decision on him, you know?” She sighed. “Things are never uneventful for you, are they?”

“No. I guess they aren’t. It would be kind of awesome if they could be, just for a little while, though, wouldn’t it?” He brushed his hair back from his face. “Maybe someday. I’ll get a building, and I’ll be that creepy landlord guy who lives upstairs. You know, the one whose life is pretty much the same every day, and who just kind of blissfully tends to his flowers and makes sure nothing degrades to the point where it becomes an emergency.”

Jeanine laughed a little. “You don’t think you’d get bored and lonely?”

“Sure. But I’m bored and lonely now, plus I’ve got a sadistic game show host doing his best to make my life hell for ratings. And a baby on the way.” Scott laughed. “I’ll take the flowers. And the sure knowledge that no one’s targeting me for anything stupid.”

“I guess.” She lifted her eyebrows in acknowledgement. “There’s a lot to be said for avoiding sadistic game show hosts.”

After his therapy appointment, he went back to the apartment. It was time for Confession, his least favorite activity. He tried to remember that the person with nothing to lose also has nothing that can be taken away, and went in with his head held high.

Yates’ sneer looked kind of fragile. “Well, well. You’re looking… well you’re looking a little softer than usual, if I do say so. Is there anything you’d like to share with the class?”

“Not at all, Yates.” Scott was proud of the way he was able to reply without a shake or crack to his voice. “Maybe I’m just feeling the effects of not working in a gym all day, and oh yeah - having some creeper egging my father on.” He gave Yates a bright grin.

“Don’t be bitter, Scott. You know I’m just doing my job. Besides, you love the attention, don’t you?” Yates lifted his head and looked down his nose at Scott.

“Not even a little bit.” Scott met his eyes squarely. “I told you from the start I only auditioned to give moral support to a friend. I’ll have to live with it every day of my life.”

“Surely there are parts you don’t regret, hm? The big home, the Hawaiian vacation, all of that?”

“The apartment does me no good. I don’t use it. The trip to Hawaii was nice. It was better than nice, actually. It was the happiest time of my life, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve deliberately dragged me back through hell for your own gain. I don’t think anything can make up for that. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want to try, either.”

“Hmph.” Yates sniffed. “So you and Danny still seem to be on the outs. What do you think is behind that?”

Scott shrugged. “I think we’re fundamentally unsuited. I think he’s found out that he already had what he wanted most from life, and now he doesn’t need to be saddled with a problem husband anymore. All relationships take work, even the ones that grow organically from a place of equality. He’s got a lot on his plate, with work and finding out he has a child already. The last thing he needs is to come home to more work.”

“So you think he’s just thrown in the towel on you.” Yates stroked his chin.

“I think he - rightly - reevaluated his priorities. I don’t blame him, I don’t fault him. A father should always put his child first, you know? He hasn’t done that in the past but he didn’t know in the past. That kid comes first.”

“It sounds like the child comes first for you as well.”

“Why wouldn’t he? I’m his stepdad. We’ll probably never meet, or be close, but I’m still part of his family. I still have a responsibility of sorts to him, to consider him and care for him.” Scott knew he was making a face. “Has anyone actually let you into a room with children, Yates? Do you know how this works? Because it’s not just putting them on a stool and hoping things work out. You have to take care of them. They don’t have the size, strength, or experience to take care of themselves.”

“Thank you for the lecture, Professor. Do you have any interest in meeting the child?”

“He has a name. I’m willing enough to meet Abraham, if he wants to meet me. I don’t want to interfere with his reunion with his father. That’s the important relationship. When it comes to Abraham, I’m just a background character, and that’s as it should be. It’s not about the adults, with kids, and their egos. It needs to be about the kids and what’s best for them.”

“I see.” Yates eyed him for a long moment. “Have you ever considered having a family of your own, Scott? I know you’ve taught children, in your dojo.”

Scott sucked in his cheeks for a second. “I think most omegas have thought about it, even if it’s only to think better of it. I didn’t think it was a realistic option for me, and I still don’t. I don’t need to go into the reasons why here, but it’s obvious that my husband and I don’t see that in the cards for us.” His cheeks burned, and he let Yates think it was because Danny wouldn’t touch him again. “I do like children. I get along well with children, but it’s easy to get along with kids when you can give them back.” He made himself grin and laugh. “It’s different when you’re the one putting up with late night feedings and all the back talk, right? Kids are a lot of work too, and I don’t want anyone watching to think I said it was easy.”

Yates nodded. “Well, you’ll get your chance, because you’re having dinner with Abraham and his father on Sunday.”

* * *

Sunday evening rolled around, and Danny paced. Scott hadn’t set foot in the kitchen since Valentine’s Day, and Danny had no idea what he’d even done then. Now here he was, puttering around in there like it was his job, and the smells coming out of there were amazing. Scott didn’t even look nervous, and of course he didn’t. Why would he? This wasn’t his kid. It wasn’t his ex, or his one night stand, that he was trying to impress.

All Scott had to do was cook, and he didn’t even have to do that. He could have just left, but Yates thought it would be “funny” to have him be part of the crowd for now. “Besides,” Yates had sneered, “Scott is part of the family, isn’t he?”

And so here they were, in the best smelling home in all of Manhattan, waiting for some guy Danny barely remembered to show up with a kid who could be anyone. Danny couldn’t sit. He had to walk the length of the apartment and back again, over and over. His feet hurt.

His phone rang. It was the doorman. “Mr. Brian Kean and his son Abraham to see you, sir.”

Danny opened his mouth to tell the doorman to let them in, but the words wouldn’t come. He had to clear his throat a few times before he could say, “Send them up, please.”

Someone knocked on his door seven minutes and thirteen seconds later. He counted.

Brian turned out to be a pretty average looking guy, but his smile was to die for. He was probably about ten years older than Danny, with big blue eyes and a few crow’s feet. He looked around, as though he expected a cameraman to jump out at any second. “Danny. It’s been a while.”

Danny wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that response. It had been a while, and a lot of water had gone under the bridge since then. For example, Brian had given birth to Danny’s son and not told him. Getting angry - or rather, giving vent to his anger - wouldn’t make anything better, though, so he kept his mouth shut. “Yeah,” he admitted. “It has. It’s good to see you. You look good.” He turned to the shorter person - the child, his child - at Brian’s side. “This must be Abraham.”

Abraham was probably average height for a nine year old. He had sandy brown hair, and he had his father’s blue eyes. Other than that, he was identical to Danny in every possible way. It was like looking into an oddly tinted mirror. Abraham must be feeling it too, because his jaw dropped when he saw Danny.

“I was going to ask if you’re really my dad, but I guess I can’t really do that.”

Danny had to laugh. “I guess you didn’t only inherit my face.” He stepped back. “Welcome to my house. I hope you’ll feel at home here, Abraham. Brian - your dad - and I, or our lawyers or whatever, can work out a visitation agreement or whatever. I didn’t know about you until recently, or there’s no way you’d have gone this long without meeting me.”

Abraham nodded and looked away. He didn’t believe Danny, and that stung, but he didn’t have any objections either.

“About that,” Brian said with a wince. “I know it’s my fault.”

Danny held up a hand. “Look. We can talk about it, or argue, or blame, or whatever, some other time. Today’s a happy occasion, we can’t change the past, and I don’t want his first experience with the other side of his family to be tainted with a bunch of sniping.”

Brian visibly relaxed. Danny could swear he heard Brian’s jaw unclenching. “That’s… that’s incredibly tolerant and understanding of you, actually.”

Scott smiled, just a little bit, from the kitchen. He didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t a smirk or a sneer. It was a genuine smile, the kind that came when someone recognized a treasure he’d known about all along. Huh. Maybe there was still hope for them.

Danny led Brian and Abraham into the dining room and let them find their own seats. They both chose to seat themselves near Danny, leaving Scott to sit across from him, but that shouldn’t be a problem. It wasn’t like they were an affectionate couple these days.

Scott set out the dishes he’d prepared explaining what each one was before heading back into the kitchen to get more. He then turned to head back to his room, which left a sinking feeling in Danny’s stomach. Why would he do that?

“Where are you going?”

Scott worried at his lip. “I don’t want to intrude, here.” He looked at the ground. “This is a private thing, a family matter.”

“You’re his husband, Scott. That makes you part of the family.” Brian’s voice was soft and gentle.

“It’s different though.” Scott glanced over at the cameras. “Really, this is special for you all.”

Danny gritted his teeth. They would have to talk, later. This was going to have to be one of those bathroom conversations that made Yates so angry. “Scott, sit down and eat.”

Scott bowed his head and shuffled over to his seat. Brian gave Danny a funny look, but he didn’t say anything. Great. Now his kid’s dad was going to write Danny off as a giant jerk.

He plastered a pleasant smile onto his face. “So. Abraham. Tell me about yourself. What is it you like to do?”

Abraham blushed. It was hard to be put on the spot when you were a kid, never mind when you were at a stranger’s house and on camera. “I, um. I like computers. I like soccer. I, ah, I do a little karate, but nothing like what I’ve seen Mr. Scott do.”

“It’s just Scott.” Scott gave Abraham a little smile. “I’m only twenty-two, I’m way too young to be Mr. Anything.”

Abraham blushed even deeper. “Oh. Okay. Well, I’m not as into it or as good at it as all that. But I guess that’s okay because I’m a lot younger.”

Great. So the kid watched the show. Awesome. He knew all their dirty little secrets. Danny refused to think about that. He just wouldn’t. “So are you doing okay in school?”

“Yeah. My grades aren’t bad. I’m not like a super genius or anything like that, not like you.”

Danny laughed. “That’s a testament to your dad, Abraham. I mean Brian, of course. It’s good to have big brains, no one’s saying it’s not, but it’s hard to make friends when you don’t get to be in school with people your own age. It’s what my parents wanted for me, not what I wanted.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m sure you’ve been waiting your whole life to get the ‘Dad advice.’”

Abraham rolled his eyes, and then he blushed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do that.”

“It’s okay, buddy. I’m hardly in a position to bust you for it, am I? Besides, I started it by being sarcastic.” He winked, and Abraham giggled. “Seriously though, I’m going to tell you something I heard at a conference. I can’t even remember who the speaker was, but it really changed how I saw myself. Abraham, I know it’s hard, but you can’t waste time comparing yourself to other people.”

All three of the people sitting around his dinner table stared at him. “Whatever happened to ‘crush the competition in your gaping maw?’” Brian asked him, lifting his wine glass to his lips.

“I went to this conference after we met,” Danny told him. “Seriously, though, was I drunk? It sounds like something a drunk person would say. Either way, I was clearly trying to impress you. Anyway, if you’re in a business situation, sure, you should keep an eye on the competition. They’re keeping an eye on you. But your primary focus should be on you, what you’re doing, and getting better at what you do by your own standards. How many goals did you score in your last soccer game?”

“One.” Abraham frowned. “But it’s not like soccer’s a high scoring game. It was the only goal anyone scored, on either side.”

“Nice job! I’m proud of you!” Danny high fived his son and turned to Scott. “That’s my boy!” A shadow passed over Scott’s face, but Danny ignored it for now. He’d address it later. The issues between himself and Scott weren’t something that needed to come up in front of an old one night stand and a child. He turned back to Abraham.

“So maybe in terms of getting better, focus on running faster, and try to get a goal and an assist. Or two goals, whichever seems more feasible for you. Don’t sit there and think about, ‘Well, I’ve got to get one more goal than Billy Smith. He got three, so I have to get four! Can you think of why?”

Abraham nodded. “I’m not thinking about the game, or about getting better. I’m thinking about Billy Smith.”

“Good. And maybe Billy Smith had a reason for getting his three goals. Maybe he’s just super ‘on’ today and he’ll never do it again, or maybe his dad’s a big jerk and he’ll get in trouble if he goes home without three goals. But if you focus on what you do best, you’ll keep improving.”

Scott cleared his throat and glanced at both Danny and Brian, like he was asking for permission before speaking. Once they both nodded, he gave Abraham a little smile. “And it’s not fair to yourself to compare your grades to your dad’s, either. Schoolwork has changed a lot since then. You’re not answering the same questions. They don’t teach math the same way at all. It’s like comparing apples to bananas, okay?”

Abraham blushed again - he seemed to do that a lot - but his blue eyes lit up. “How did you know I do that?”

Scott just smiled at him. “You wouldn’t be the only one, okay?” He looked the table over. “Does anyone want seconds, or should I bring out the dessert?”

Scott whisked away the dirty plates, although not before Danny noticed Scott’s plate was untouched. Once again, he couldn’t say anything. This time, he didn’t want to embarrass Scott. Maybe Scott was feeling a little insecure - all the isolation had him looking a little softer than he usually did, and while it was a good look for him it wasn’t his “normal.”

He brought out dessert, a cake with a simple frosting made from hazelnut whipped cream. That was when Brian stopped him and accused him of having the whole thing catered. “Level with me, guys, you’re outsourcing to Below Stairs New York or something like that. You have to be. I know I’ve seen you, Scott, on Alex Cary’s show and he used to work for them, a couple of years ago. You must have gotten a deal from them.”

Scott blushed right to the roots of his dark, silky hair. “No, sorry. Alex did show me how to cook, but this is all a one-man endeavor. You’re welcome to go examine the dirty dishes in the sink if you want, I’ve still got plenty to clean up.”

“Wow.” Brian made the most orgasmic face Danny had seen outside of a bedroom. “This is incredible. “Maybe you should have thought about cooking school. There’s still time, I guess.”

“I don’t know.” Scott ducked his head. He hid his face with the curtain of his hair. “I’m not thinking beyond the end of filming at this point, you know? I can just imagine cooking school with a bunch of cameras in the way.” He chuckled. “And I like teaching martial arts.”

“I saw that in the Hawaii footage,” Brian nodded. “When you were teaching self-defense to those hotel workers. That was pretty cool too. I’m a career placement counselor, by the way. That’s my whole job, so if I start to babble on just throw something at me and I’ll shut up. What you seem to gravitate toward is helping people. You teach, and your other job was helping people get in shape. You’re pretty good at cooking, which is a different way of helping people.” He grinned. “Listen, maybe when this whole… game show thing is all over, we can get together and talk about your options.”

“That would be kind of awesome, thanks.” Scott was scarlet by now, but he was saved by Abraham.

“Hey, Scott, would you mind sharing the recipe for this frosting? It’s amazing.”

Scott nodded and stood up so fast he almost stumbled. “Yeah, yeah, of course. It’ll be just as easy to show you how, though. Come on.”

He led Abraham back into the kitchen, leaving Danny alone with a man he hadn’t seen in ten years. Brian watched him go, with interest. “He’s an interesting young man,” he mused, sipping from his drink. “And he adores you.”

Danny sighed. “You think so? It feels like everything’s falling apart.” He grimaced. “I have no idea why I’m telling you this. We barely know each other.”

“Maybe because we barely know each other.” Brian chuckled. “Or because he sees something that isn’t really there. I gave you a child. He hasn’t yet.”

“He’s not going to.”

“So dismissive.” Brian raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like I don’t watch the show. You guys love each other. Try to talk to him, would you? He left you alone tonight so you could be with me, damn it.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “And you think that means he wants to be with me.”

“I think he wants you to be happy. I’ve seen his Confessionals. You apparently haven’t.” Brian smiled at him. “Sometimes I’ve wondered if we could have had something, you know.”

“Do you think we could have?” Danny looked over at the father of his child.

“I - no, Danny. You’re a great guy, but I think we’ve got too much in common. We had chemistry. I think we’ll be better friends. But that doesn’t mean we can’t co-parent.”

“Not at all.” Danny leaned back. “I’m trying not to be upset that you never told me you were pregnant. Part of me is furious, and part of me figures you had your reasons. We can’t fix it, whatever it was. All we can do is go forward.”

Brian sighed. “At the time, you had too much going on, you know? I thought, where in his life is this guy going to make room for a kid? And it was probably unfair to you, but it’s too late now.”

Danny gritted his teeth, but he had to admit Brian was right. “I was kind of focused back then.”

“You were. Can I offer a little piece of advice?”

“I think you will, no matter what I say.”

Brian snickered. “You’re not wrong.” He looked over at the kitchen door. “Don’t let it happen again.”