Chapter 26

 

Sammi

2:47 PM SATURDAY

 

I arrive at the restaurant even faster than I expected.

Bombay Blues, the sign reads. It’s written in sky blues and neon pinks that completely contrast with my current mood.

I almost ride past it, having to stop myself at the last moment.

This is definitely not the place for my confession. Let’s face it, though, they don’t make restaurants dreary enough for what I’ve come to say.

I almost ride past it, having to stop myself at the last moment.

It takes every ounce of my courage to pull up to the curb.

My heart’s beating just a hair too fast, and my hands tremble slightly as I loosen my death grip on the throttle.

I’ve made up my mind, though.

Now I just need to get my body to comply.

I’ve made some mistakes in the last twenty-four hours—to put it lightly.

Mistakes that I’ll just have to learn to live with.

Keeping them a secret from Eggs, however, is one mistake too many. So I’ve decided to come clean.

To unburden myself, as they say.

The fact that I’ll just be transferring the burden onto him isn’t lost on me. But it’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

I can’t lie to him for the rest of our lives.

I dismount the bike, legs shaking as I do, and head for the restaurant like a woman bound for the gallows.

This is going to hurt.

I don’t slow, though, not even to take a breath. If I pause now, I may never find the courage to continue.

Instead, I pull the door open, heading towards my fiancé and the toughest conversation of my life.

Eggs looks up from his phone the moment I enter the room, a strange, almost quizzical expression on his face.

I assume it’s due to my little disappearing act.

He doesn’t know the half of it.

“Sammi! You’re…here?” he says, actually sounding surprised.

He stands, hugging me tightly.

“I’m here.” I choke out, damn near suffocating in his embrace.

His enthusiasm makes me feel about a hundred times more guilty. Though there’s a note of reservation in his voice as well.

He pulls back from me, staring into my eyes, a question in his own.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been answering the phone,” I say. “It’s been a crazy day.”

He cocks his head at me, gesturing for us to sit.

“You could have at least sent a text,” he chides. “I’ve been worried.”

Now that I’m here, I have no idea how to proceed. Confessing seemed difficult in my head. In person, I can hardly make my mouth work.

Come on, Sammi. Don’t bitch out now.

“I know,” I say, finding my tongue again. “I had to figure some things out...”

Then I look at him.

Like, I really look at him.

“What happened to your nose?” I ask.

Not because I’m trying to stall, but because Eggs’ nose is the size and color of an eggplant. It’s bandaged up well enough that he’s either decided to indulge in a little Thai plastic surgery, or he’s recently seen the inside of an emergency room.

A strange look crosses his face, so quickly I’m not sure it was ever there.

“Tripped coming off the plane.” He looks away, and I feel double bad.

He’s probably embarrassed…and I just called attention to it.

Best to just get on with it, then.

“Sorry. I hope you, uh, feel better soon. Until then…this isn’t going to help, I know. There are some things I need to tell you,” I say, “some things I did. It might not be easy to hear, but—”

“It’s fine,” he cuts in.

He has no idea how far that is from true.

“No, Eggs, really. I need to tell you something.”

“Whatever it is, Sammi-poo, I don’t need to know. We both make mistakes—and I know you’ve been out with your party girl friends all night. Mistakes with those women are inevitable.”

I bite my tongue on a retort. I don’t like hearing my BFFs referred to as those women. And something about the way he says Sammi-poo has my hands balling up into fists. I’m not sure why, but it grates on me.

Even more than normal.

“Eggs…”

“Really, Sammi,” he says, forceful like a declaration. “I don’t want to hear it. Whatever it is, it’s not important.”

“But—”

“What is important is the wedding. In just a few short hours, you’ll be my bride. Once we’re married, nothing else will matter. Right?”

“No, Eggs.” I manage to choke out before I’m interrupted again.

This time, by his phone.

He holds up a finger to silence me.

God, I hate it when he does that.

Usually I’d complain, but today, I don’t think I really have the right.

He pulls his phone from his pocket, glancing at the caller ID and then quickly up at me.

“I have to take this,” he says, standing.

I’m not sure what could be more important than this, but again, I bite my tongue.

I definitely don’t have the right.

I watch him walk to the back, phone now pressed to his ear.

There’s no way in hell that I can marry Eggs without him knowing the truth. No matter how badly he wants to avoid it.

There are just some things that you can’t bring to a marriage with you.

Secrets about repeatedly hooking up with someone else are definitely among them.

And possibly having married someone else?

Fuck, no.

He has to hear this.

I watch him walk back to me, my resolve renewed. This time, he has to listen.

“I’ve gotta go,” he says.

Fuck.

“What do you mean? We just—”

This time he interrupts me with a rough kiss on the cheek.

“I know, I know, but I’ll see you tonight!” he calls, already walking away from me.

Son of a bitch!

“Eggs, wait!” I yell after him, standing to follow.

He’s out the door before I even manage to push my chair back, leaving me to stare after him in awe.

What the hell could be so important?

I briefly consider chasing after him, telling him everything anyway.

The mental images of me, running down the street, screaming that I fucked Lock, are enough to stop me.

So, I’ll tell him tonight then…

I can already feel my resolve withering, though. Getting up the courage to tell him was hard enough the first time.

I throw a tip down on the table. Unnecessary since we ordered nothing, but I consider it space rent.

There’s really nothing to do at this point but go back to the Golden Gun.

Maybe Percy will have some ideas.

I mean, she’ll definitely have ideas, but maybe she’ll have a good one, too.

I start in that direction, bypassing the motorcycle as I go.

Maybe walking will clear my head.

Of course, walking doesn’t really help, but at least I won’t run the risk of crashing. The way I’m feeling right now, it’s best not to operate heavy machinery.

I navigate the streets of Bangkok with relative ease now. This area, at least, is one I know. This is a good thing, because I’m so deep in thought, my body is functioning solely on auto-pilot.

By the time I reach the Golden Gun, I’m no closer to a solution.

Still, I smile as I walk into the room, seeing the gang all there.

It seems like no matter how shitty things get, their presence always helps.

I hug each of them in turn, glad they’re okay after the kidnapping fiasco.

Apparently, it takes more than an enraged mafia don to keep us down.

When I get to Percy, I all but collapse in her arms. My head resting on her enormous tits is at least somewhat of a comfort.

“What happened?” she asks, pulling me harder against her.

“I tried to tell Eggs, but he just wouldn’t let me!” I whine in irritation, words half smothered by her chest.

She doesn’t even complain, just holds me there like she’s my mother, and I’ve got the world’s worst scraped knee.

“Well, then maybe he doesn’t need to know.” She pats my back, totally driving home the mother illusion.

I pull back from her, needing to look her in the eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

She nods in understanding, snaking her fingers through mine.

“I mean, it’s not like I want to tell him. I’m fucking terrified to tell him. But, doesn’t he need to know? He’s about to marry me, for fuck’s sake.”

“Maybe. If he’s avoiding hearing it, though…”

“He doesn’t even know what he’s avoiding! I might already be married to Lock!” I half yell. “That’s definitely the kind of thing he needs to know.”

“Yeah,” she says, resigned, “kind of hard to get around that.”

Glad she sees my point, I continue, “Even if I could, though, how am I supposed to live with that? He obviously trusts me, and to marry him now would really be fucking him in the ass.”

I glance at her for confirmation, but Percy doesn’t say anything.

Instead, the hand that’s been casually holding mine tightens into a death grip.

Her gaze grows hazy, far off.

I swear to God it’s like she’s having a stroke.

“Percy?” I ask.

“Say that again,” Percy says.

“Say what again?”

“That last bit. Hurry up, Sams. It’s important!”

I look up at my eyelashes like I’m trying to rewind the cassette tape of my brain.

“If I marry Eggs…it’ll be fucking him in the ass?”

Percy’s face lights up like a winning pull on a slot machine.

“Sams. I remember what happened last night.”