Chapter 31

Lock

3:30 PM SATURDAY

I’ll admit that a lot of the time I’m an idiot. I know I should be thinking things through more, that leaping in head first isn’t always the best course of action.

But it’s how I’ve always lived my life. It’s how I will always live my life. I don’t have time to sit back and smell the roses. Not when there’s some new adventure around the bend.

It is what it is.

But bringing Sammi here to the Aquarium was fucking genius.

I think.

What better way to make her remember than bringing her here where it all began?

A move like this either makes me the dumbest smart person of all time or the smartest dumb person of all time.

Truthfully, I don’t know which one it is yet.

Looking at her now and seeing that wistful look in here eyes gives me hope. It’s like she’s piecing the puzzle together in her mind’s eye.

It’s like she’s remembering that she loves me.

That’s right, Sams. Remember everything, darl. Please.

She turns her head to look at me.

Her lips begin to curl upward into a smile.

I swear I can see this sparkle in her eyes.

I’m about ready to jump into the fucking air, I’m so ecstatic. After all of this craziness, she’s finally rememberi—correction: she remembers.

I’m so glad, I could crack open the champagne. It’s time to fucking celebrate.

I open my arms, and I’m leaning forward to hug her. I’m about to reaffirm my love for her.

And then she steps back and punches me in the face.

I take it all back. Every bit of leeway I gave myself. I am the dumbest dumb person of all time.

I’m barely registering what the fuck is going on, and she’s already storming out. She’s moving like a woman on a mission from God.

I hear the sound of giggling behind me. I turn around to see a bunch of teen Thai girls pointing and laughing at me.

“Thanks, ladies.”

I begin my chase after Sammi. We’ve come too far now to let things revert back to the same tired routine that they have been these last several years.

She makes it all the way down the Chao Phraya, which is farther than I expected.

“Sammi, stop. Just stop.”

She doesn’t.

I run up in front of her. My hands reach out and grab her shoulders.

“Fuck off, Lock. I can’t handle this right now.”

She tries to push me away. I stand my ground.

I can’t let her go now. I just can’t.

I’ve had enough of it all. It’s time for this cycle to end. And not only just for my sake, but for Sammi’s, too.

“Well, boohoo for you, Sams. No more running.”

“I am not running.”

I laugh in her face. It’s the first thing my mind thinks to do, and she needs to know that she’s bullshitting me.

“All you do is run, Sammi. Every. Fucking. Time. You run.”

This is not going to be a pretty scene, but if I don’t lay it out now and be brutally honest, she’s never going to let herself be happy. If it makes her hate me, so be it. But she needs this.

“You know what your problem is, Sammi? You’re a fucking a coward.”

She gives me a look, as though I just slapped her across the face with a baseball bat. She looks hurt, but it’s a look that only lasts for a second. Her eyes get wide, and I’m pretty sure she’s wishing she had a bat to hit me with.

Calling her out in public like this really wasn’t the plan, but it just happened that way. Preferably, I’d like it to have been behind closed doors or somewhere with far less people around to gawk and stare. But then again, nothing about these last few hours has been ideal at all.

All I can do is focus on her and me and us. That’s it.

I’ll admit that it isn’t easy with a crowd of onlookers watching us. We’ve got tourists from probably four different countries watching, a horde of locals in the middle of shopping, and even a couple uniformed cops are looking on.

I’m pretty sure they’re all waiting to see how badly she kicks my Aussie arse.

“I am not a fucking coward.” She looks like she’s going to hit me again after she says it.

Just to be safe, I take a step back.

She hits harder than you’d think.

“That’s bullshit. The only time you ever live your life and have fun is when you get drinking. But sober you? She runs to the hills the second life gets even remotely complicated.” I pause for a moment to let her think on that. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me, Sams. Do it. I dare you.”

I know she won’t do it. And she knows that I know. But that’s the point.

Sober Sammi is just damn afraid to live her life.

You can swim with sharks or giant stingrays or battle poachers every day of the week. That kind of thing doesn’t make you brave. It doesn’t save you from being called a coward.

If you can’t admit to loving someone unless you’re drunk, or if you aren’t able to go out and live the life you want unless you’re drinking, well, bad news, mate: you’re a coward.

“You can’t, can you?” I don’t give her the time to answer. “But if you were drunk? Oh, well, then this would be a whole different story then, wouldn’t it?”

We’re both really wound up at this point. It’s a flood of emotions—from anger to frustration to affection.

I know that she loves me, just as I know I love her. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it.

Fuck, I’ve held it in my hands like it’s something physical and tangible.

We’ve come so far that, at this point, it’s too far gone to turn back now.

“You’re an asshole, Lock,” she hisses with tears pooling in her eyes.

“You’re right, Sam. I am an asshole. But I’m a sober asshole who’s standing here right now, telling you that he loves you. I live my life how I want—without having to find courage at the bottom of some bottle to do it.”

Okay, that was a bit of a low blow. But, Sams, you need to hear this. It’s all for your own good.

“I do not need booze to be happy and live my life how I want,” she insists.

I roll my eyes at her. It’s better than laughing at her, but not by much.

“Oh please. If you were drinking right now, you’d be confessing your undying love for me. You’d be telling me about how much we have together. You’d be all over me and telling me how badly you want me.

“Fuck, you would have me take you right here. Right now. In front of all these people.” I turn and make a grand gesture toward everyone watching. I’m pretty sure the crowd has nearly doubled in size too from when this all started. “Oh, that’s right, Sams. You’d be all over me. You know I’m right. Hell, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if the thought of it turns you on. You’d love it if I bent you over right now and—”

Did I mention she’s fast? Because she is. Like sneaky ninja fast at that.

One second, I’m telling her how she’d have me bend her over. And now I feel myself falling backward over a rope into the nasty river below.

Now when I say nasty, I mean nasty. The river is one of the filthiest in the world. Most of it in this part of the country is wastewater dumped from households and businesses. Even fish can’t survive in it.

And I’m now submerged in it. I’ve never felt dirtier in my life.

I’m crawling up out the water as quickly as I can. Some people are nice enough to help me, but the smell coming off me is strong enough that they may pass out first.

Sammi has decided to storm off again. Once more, she’s on the run from dealing with me and her emotions.

“Hey, Sammi. Be sure to call when you remember our wedding ceremony,” I yell as I step over the rope barrier.

I just hope that if—or when—she does call that I’ve had the time to shower enough times to get the smell of the river off me.