Chapter Eight
Jasper
“Cabin fever is setting in, Hayden. Why is it I can’t go home again?”
Every day it was a different story and a different excuse. I knew something was up, but I was too tired and drained from night feedings and being a milk dispenser to be a good investigator.
“Because you’re still recovering.”
Yesterday, it was because Owen wasn’t peeing enough. Which was crap. He peed plenty, my extra load of laundry could attest to that.
“You’re lying to me, and I don’t know why.”
Hayden smiled and pulled up his shirt to feed his own babe. Both our young were growing at rapid rates, and I had to eat enough for an army to keep up.
He sighed. “Can’t you just trust me, Jasper? I mean, I know you choke on the word trust, but have I ever done anything to hurt you or cause you pain?”
No. The answer was no. Hayden might be, in addition to being my savior after Dash, my best friend. In fact, I thought he was definitely my best friend.
“Of course not. I-is it Conrad? He hasn’t been by much lately?”
And by lately, I meant it had been at least three days since he’d come to see me and Owen. Even when he did, the visit only lasted a few minutes as though there was something so much more pressing to get to.
The rushing around seemed contradictory to his usual relaxed demeanor.
“I brought food for all us nursing omegas,” Russell’s voice boomed through the house.
Hayden jumped up, little one still hooked on, and I scooped up a sleepy Owen from the vibrating chair contraption.
I swore I was as hungry now, if not hungrier, than when I held this babe in my tummy.
“What is it? It smells divine.”
Russell unzipped three casserole holders to reveal two roasted chickens, a cheesy hash brown casserole and a peach cobbler. I almost made a puddle of saliva on the floor.
“You went all out, Russell. Where’s your babe?” Hayden spewed pleasantries but was already getting plates from the cabinet with his own young now strapped to him in one of those baby-swaddling scarfs.
“Jameson actually made all this and then shooed me out for an omega’s lunch, one without chasing a newly mobile shifter. So, thank him the next time you see him. His cooking has really come a long way from just spaghetti. Sometimes, I think he outcooks me now.”
I got a plate and one-handed, scooped out some casserole while Russell cut pieces of chicken for everyone.
“I can’t wait to cook for myself again. Not that the food hasn’t been delicious here. It’s just…shit, I sound ungrateful.”
Russell put his hand on my arm. “Not at all. I know what you mean. Omegas have to do for themselves as well.”
I nodded, and Hayden agreed.
“I think one day I’d like to go back to school if I can. Maybe when Owen is older.”
Russell and Hayden both stopped cold and looked at me. “Jasper,” Russell said. “I think that’s an awesome idea. Any idea what you would like to study?”
I smiled down at my plate and took a bite, giving myself time to work through it. “I think I’d like to be a teacher. I thought maybe I could start a preschool, right here on pack lands. Get the kids used to a school setting and playing with others before they are integrated into the human world in public school.” They said nothing so I retracted, sure I’d said something insane. “Never mind.”
Hayden reached out and took my hand. “Jasper, it’s a fantastic idea. I’ve been talking to Travis about having some kind of preschool program here. But I don’t think you need formal training. I’m not discouraging you from going to school. You should do that. But in the meantime, we can find a suitable curriculum and teach our own young. I bet Travis would let us use the old school building. The one by the mill.”
I knew the place. It would need some work, but it had a playground and it would do well.
“It’s just an idea. I don’t know.”
“Speaking of things you don’t know... How is Conrad?” Russell and Hayden giggled.
“I don’t know. He’s been so busy.” I scooped a spoonful of the cheesy goodness into my mouth.
“It’s so much work,” Russell said and then grew wide-eyed.
“What is?”
“You know, all the solar panel work. But he’s your alpha, right? I mean, you know?”
Such gossipers.
I didn’t speak the answer out loud, but it shouted at me nonetheless. Conrad was my alpha, and, for once in my life, I knew my true alpha was out there. My soft but strong alpha. I longed for him day and night. I craved his presence when I was alone and when surrounded by people. My wolf whined for him.
I woke in the night, crying for him to soothe me. Needing his touch.
“He’s my alpha. I know it. But I don’t know if he really wants me. If he did, he would be here. Right? He’s always gone.”
I looked out the window and wondered if my fate had been sealed. Had I found my mate only to have him deny me?