I pulled around to the back of the house, anxious to get inside to check on Aria. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Cash with her, but I’d never left her alone with anyone other than Stevie. This was all new to me, and other than wanting to hold my daughter and shower her with kisses, I had a growing list of questions for Cash. I eagerly climbed out of the SUV and set the alarm.

The second I opened the door, I was hit with a wave of something delicious. It felt like a lifetime since I’d last come home to the smell of dinner cooking in the oven, and it made my heart skip a few beats. The living room was empty, and when I went around the corner toward the hallway, I’d noticed no one was in the kitchen, either. The timer on the stove was set, and all the preparation items were put away, so I assumed Cash had started supper and took Aria across the street while the timer counted down. But after I slipped off my shoes and set my purse on the bed, I heard the familiar baritone coming from down the hall, followed by an ear-piercing squeal and Aria shouting, “No!”

I ran out of my room, making it to Aria’s in only a few steps, frightened at what I’d walk into. I’d done my best to keep her safe, and all I could think of was how I’d failed at the one and only task I had as her mother. A desperate demand to leave her alone stopped short of coming out when my gaze landed on Cash—on his knees, cleaning a black square on the lower half of the wall—and then on Aria, a fat piece of pink chalk clutched in her tiny hand. While he calmly explained to her that he had to make room for more art, I stood still and regarded their interactions, neither noticing my presence with their backs to me.

“Okay, Tyke…let’s try this again.” He sat back on his haunches and lifted Aria off the ground to set her in front of him, closer to the now-clean space. “Draw me a picture of Mommy.”

My heart melted, completely and utterly turned to mush. I watched in awe as Aria scribbled her version of a picture, which took up the entire area, none of it resembling any actual shape or form.

“I think this one’s even better than the last.”

Aria pointed to her masterpiece and explained what everything was. “Dat’s Mommy. Dat’s me. And dat’s you!”

“Oh, yeah? Where are we?”

She turned to the side, giving him the “are you for real right now” face with her hands on her hips and head cocked to the side. But before she could effectively ream him out for what she clearly deemed a stupid question, she caught sight of me. Her face lit up, no longer showing any traces of the attitude she’d just worn, and she ran to me.

Her excited chatter filled the small room as she took my hand and led me to her artwork. Cash stood, wiped his hands on his cargo shorts, and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to my cheek. It was sweet and almost made me swoon…the only reason I didn’t was because Aria started explaining her drawing, catching me by surprise when she said, “And dat’s Daddy!”

Cash and I both swung our heads toward the bouncing child between us.

“No, Aria…I’m Cash,” he corrected her, and it tugged at something inside me. He wasn’t her father, and we’d only just taken the first step toward a relationship about twelve hours ago. Yet hearing him correct her felt wrong.

I shook it off, reminding myself that this wasn’t something I even needed to contemplate right now, and effectively changed the subject before any more was said. “I hadn’t expected to come home to supper. It smells amazing.”

“Yeah, Tyke and I have been busy today.” His eyes widened and he held up one finger, as if remembering something important. “Oh, and I got you something while you were gone.”

“How? You didn’t have a car.”

He headed out of the room, talking over his shoulder, yet I struggled to follow and pay attention to what he said. “It was only the battery, so I called a mechanic, and the guy brought a new one out.”

I stopped next to the kitchen table where he grabbed a bag from the floor and set it in one of the chairs. From inside, he pulled out two white boxes, one much longer than the other. “Hear me out first.” Which meant there was a good chance I would argue with him about his purchase.

Before agreeing to anything, I took a closer look at the boxes on the table and noticed the apple on both. “No, Cash. Whatever those are, I don’t want them. You’re delusional if you think I’m going to accept anything with that logo on the box from you.”

“You haven’t even heard me out yet.” Covering the packages with his hands, he continued, obviously refusing my objection. “You need a phone in case of emergencies.” He slid the smaller box toward me.

“First of all, an iPhone isn’t an in-case-of-emergency device. That’s what cheap flip phones are for…you know, the ones you get with prepaid minutes. I’m well aware of what it costs for a data package every month. It’s out of my budget—like way out. Secondly, did you not hear me last night when I explained I suck in traumatic situations? This fancy piece of technology won’t do crap if I can’t find it—or worse, can’t figure out how to use it.”

“And that’s what this is for.” He slid the longer box toward me. When I expressed my confusion with narrowed eyes, he began to explain. “It’s a watch that pairs to your phone, and it has this neat function on it that allows you to make an emergency call.”

Well, I didn’t really have much of an argument about that, other than…

“Are you out of your mind?”

“No…actually, I’m not. It’s a completely rational purchase and answers all your concerns.”

“Except the financial part.”

He held up a hand and smirked with his head cocked to the side. “I added a line to my account. I had to get you a new number, though. I couldn’t transfer yours over, but it’s only ten dollars a month extra.”

“I highly doubt that. The data alone is more than that.”

“I switched to a family plan so now we share a data and text package. I figured since you’re home most of the time, you’ll be connected to the internet, so you won’t use much.” He continued to explain how many gigabytes we had to share each month, but my brain had heard “family” and stopped processing anything else.

It shouldn’t have affected me the way it did. It was a stupid mobile account. You could share one with anybody, and it wouldn’t mean anything. But for some reason, my head told me something else.

“Why did you add me to your plan?” My question barely came out, stopping him in the middle of whatever he was saying. “That seems so permanent.”

Apparently, he found humor in my concerns. “Jade…it saves you money, and it makes me feel better when you’re here alone. I don’t like the idea of not being able to reach you, or you not having a way to call for help if you need it. And it was a one-year contract, which is not even close to being permanent. If you aren’t comfortable with this, I can cancel it and return everything. But I’ll still need you to get a phone.”

“I can give in about the bill and even being on your account…but how am I supposed to pay for these?” I held up both boxes, one in each hand. “I’m sure these are well over a thousand dollars. My guess is closer to fifteen hundred.”

“You don’t need to worry about how much they cost or paying me back.” He moved around the table, came to stand in front of me, and settled his hands on my hips while I continued to hold out the boxes in my hands. “I kinda earned the right to get them for you.”

“Excuse me? Earned the right? How?”

“I won the bet.”

Batting my eyes, fully confused, I asked, “What bet?”

“You said I wouldn’t be able to make you come. And I did.”

Instinctively, I glanced around, searching for Aria to make sure she didn’t hear him, as if she’d understand what he meant. “That wasn’t a bet.”

“Fine…then call this my reward for doing the impossible.”

“I’m the one getting expensive gifts—plus the other thing. How is that your reward?”

“If it means I get to speak to you while I’m gone, then I don’t care what you call it. And better yet…now we can FaceTime each other, so I can see you when we talk. Damn, the perks just keep piling up.”

I huffed in resignation and dropped my forehead to his chest. His laughter rumbled through him and filled my entire body with the vibrations. I didn’t want to concede, but I had a feeling he would continue to argue with me no matter what I said, so I gave in and accepted the fancy devices he was so excited to give me.

Cash set up the new phone and watch while I prepared the table for dinner and quizzed him about how Aria did today. Other than having me use my fingerprints on the device’s home key, I didn’t have to do anything. But right as I was about to tell him to put it away, the alerts started going off.

“What’d you do? Break it already?” I teased, but my smile vanished at the sight of the concern embedded in his brow. “Cash? What is it?”

“You got a few messages.”

“From who? I thought you said I have a new number.”

“You do, but I signed on with your Apple ID, so any messages you haven’t read yet just came through.” His penetrating gaze captured mine and held me prisoner. “You need to call Stevie.”

I didn’t like his deep and haunting tone, but I refused to believe it held any merit. “I will after supper. The oven is going to beep in…” I glanced behind me, needing the reprieve more for myself than to verify the time. “Fifty seconds. So put it away and we’ll pick it back up later.”

“Your mom’s in the hospital.” He’d blurted it out like it was some random fact. The weather forecast shows rain tomorrow. And even though it was so cut and dry, I was able to pick up on the warning. The hint of alarm that took it from informing me of late afternoon showers to telling me about a brewing storm off the coast that could wipe everything away.

“W-what’d she say?”

He held out the phone, but I couldn’t do anything other than stare at it like it was infected with some flesh-eating disease. “She said you need to call her. Go…take the phone back to the room. I’ll get Aria fed. Don’t worry about this—I’ve got it handled.”

Finally, I took the cell from his hand and headed back to my room, my heart lodged in my throat. But before I called, I needed to read her messages so I could attempt to prepare myself. No, my mother and I hadn’t gotten along for years. She’d pushed me away instead of pulling me closer. She’d cut me off when I needed her the most. But that didn’t mean a sob wasn’t ripped from my chest when I read Stevie’s text about my mom being hurt.

I barely let her answer the phone before I asked, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t have much information—the hospital won’t tell me anything.”

“Just tell me what happened!” I snapped.

Stevie hesitated for a moment and then released a long sigh into the receiver. “Do you remember Alissa Townsend from high school? Well, I ran into her today, and she started asking about you, like when you would be coming back. It threw me for a loop because I wasn’t aware she even knew you had moved away.”

“I haven’t seen her since graduation… I have no idea how she would’ve found out.”

“Well, she was asking because she works at the stables Jessica Hamilton’s dad used to own. I don’t remember what it’s called now. But anyway, your mom was there yesterday, and there was an accident. All Alissa could tell me is she was bucked from a horse and then trampled over. She was transported to the emergency room. That’s why Alissa had asked if you were coming.”

“Yesterday?” Tears flooded my eyes and I lifted a hand to cover my mouth, hoping to hold back the sobs. “W-why hasn’t anyone told me? Why am I just finding out?”

“Jade, how would anyone be able to reach you? You don’t have a phone.”

I bypassed the phone issue for what was most important. “So what’s going on? She’s still there?”

Silence drifted through the line, gutting me. “I went up there today to see what I could find out. Alissa said it was bad, and even though I’m not family, I was hoping they’d tell me something. I told the woman at the front desk that you didn’t live around here and didn’t get along with your mom’s husband, and I guess she felt bad for you because she told me she’s in ICU.” She took a deep breath while I processed it all, and then she added, “I think you need to call the hospital yourself and see what you can find out.”

“What about Aria? I can’t leave her here with Cash that long. And I’m not taking her to a hospital. What am I supposed to do?” My voice cracked, allowing the pain and heartache to pour through and flood my words with tears.

“Just call the hospital first. If you decide to come, I’ll help you with her. You don’t have to do everything alone, Jade.” Her soft tone covered me like the heat of a campfire, soothing me when I needed it the most.

I managed to find the courage to dial the hospital where Stevie told me my mom had been admitted. My heart slammed against my sternum repeatedly with each ring of the call. My hands and voice shook when the operator answered and I asked her to connect me to the ICU. Then my lungs burned and my face grew hot when she told me she couldn’t do that. Somewhere, in that moment, I found an inner strength I wasn’t aware I had. After fighting a losing battle for years, I thought I’d lost the spark within me, but as the lady argued and told me ICU wasn’t allowed calls, that spark reignited into a roaring inferno.

Then the operator went silent and the line began to ring.

And again, my heart attempted to break free.

When a woman answered, my lips quivered.

When she told me she couldn’t give me answers over the phone, my lungs deflated.

Then she said, “But…if she were my mom, I’d get here as fast as I could,” and my muscles gave up. I crumpled to the floor and bawled. As I tried to piece it all together, unforgiving sobs surged through me.

“Talk to me, babe.” Out of nowhere, Cash was by my side, his arms clutching me to him. I never heard him come in or sit next to me.

But his words…those got to me.

His voice calmed me.

His touch almost healed me.

Almost.

Through tears, stuttering, and gasping for breath, I managed to get it all out. My mother had been trampled on by a horse and was in ICU, and there was a chance she wouldn’t make it. Guilt assuaged me over not speaking to her since I’d left—and for a while before that, as well. And because of that, a divide had kept us apart for far too long. And now there was a chance I’d never be able to make it right.

“Come on…let’s go.” He grabbed my hand and gently tried to tug me off the floor.

“Where are we going?”

“Fort Pierce. You need to see her, so we’re going.”

“You don’t have to come with me. It’s my mom…I can go.”

Still holding my hand, he lowered himself back to his knees, pinched my chin with his free fingers, and urged me to look at him. “You don’t have to do this alone. I understand she’s your mom. I also understand how upset you are right now. Even if I would let you go alone, there’s no way in hell I’d let you get behind the wheel and drive across the state like this with Aria in the back.”

“Even if you let me? You think just because we slept together that means you own me and can make decisions on my behalf? If I choose to take my child and leave right now, you couldn’t stop me.” It wasn’t that I was mad at him, it was just the entire situation. I was angry over the hospital’s refusal to give me information, and furious at myself for allowing such distance to spread like the plague between my mom and me. I ended up lashing out over the whole thing, and unfortunately for Cash, he got the brunt of my misplaced rage. I immediately regretted it, but I was too weak to admit it.

However, his gentle approach never wavered. “The only decision I’m making right now is to drive you to see your mom…because I hate the idea of you being on the roads late while you’re like this. If you walked out that door with Aria, and something were to happen…everything I care about would be gone. So no, Jade…this isn’t about me owning you. This is about my unwillingness to lose either of you when I can do something to prevent that.”

“I—”

His lips covered mine and stopped my confession, halting me from telling him how I felt. Before he stood again, he said, “Pack a bag. We don’t know how long we’ll be gone, and you will probably want a few pairs of clean clothes.”

Then he pressed a careful kiss to my forehead, stood, and exited the room…leaving me on the floor, watching him retreat. It could’ve been a few seconds or a few minutes, but eventually, I got up and did as he’d suggested. After haphazardly tossing clean clothes and panties into a plastic grocery bag, I headed down the hall to do the same with Aria’s things. But as soon as I made it out to the kitchen, Cash took one look at the sack and shook his head.

He came back from his room with a duffel bag and backpack. My clothes joined his in one bag, and then he repacked Aria’s clothes and overnight diapers into the other, as well as a couple of her sippy cups from the cabinet. The entire time he moved around me, my head swam. I couldn’t think straight, proving him right about being unable to drive alone. Cash had taken charge, and I once again regretted the way I’d spoken to him in the other room. He hadn’t deserved that.

I’d make it right at some point.

Providing I didn’t wait too long like I worried I’d done with my mom.

I continued to live in the haze of fear while Cash drove. He’d packed up the dinner we hadn’t eaten and brought it with us, but I wasn’t hungry. The thought of eating made me sick to my stomach. Aria yammered away from the back seat, and thankfully, Cash was there to keep her entertained. The entire time, I did nothing but stare out the window at the signs and trees whipping by, hoping and praying my mom would make it through.

It was almost nine by the time we pulled up to the hospital. Stevie had stayed in touch so she could meet us there, but when I sent her a text informing her we had arrived, she said she was still a few minutes away.

“I’m not taking her in there.” I pointed to the bright-red emergency sign.

“Go…I’ll stand out here with Aria and wait for Stevie. You head inside and find out what’s going on. It shouldn’t be too long. I’ll try to get up to the ICU waiting room, but if they won’t let me in, I’ll just shoot you a text to let you know where I’ll be.”

The thought of going in there alone, without Cash, terrified me. But standing out here with my mother lying in a hospital bed was even worse. It came down to the lesser of two evils, so I gave my daughter a kiss and then squeezed Cash’s hand before walking through the sliding doors.

I’d expected chaos, lots of people running around, coughing, maybe some kids crying in chairs, holding a broken arm. But there was none of that. The doors opened up to a large atrium with a fountain, glass elevators along one side. An open hallway stood to the left, and through it, I could see what I assumed was the food court. A wooden desk loomed straight ahead, past the fountain, with another hall to the right.

My feet carried me forward until I stood in front of the receptionist. She looked friendly, older with glasses that appeared to have no rims. A beaded chain dangled from the thin, gold stems to her shoulders, wrapping around the back of her neck.

“I’m here to see my mom.” I immediately lowered my voice, worried it would carry in the quiet, open space. “I believe she’s in ICU. Her name is Lindsey Pierce. She was in—”

“Do you have a photo ID?” Apparently, this woman wasn’t as sweet as I’d initially thought—either that, or she assumed I was upset and decided to cut me off before I continued to waste her time with my rambling.

I dug my license out of my wallet and passed it over the top of the desk. She typed a few things into her keyboard, the clicking sounds slowing time even more. I was impatient, and it didn’t appear this woman was in any hurry.

“I’m sorry…” She glanced at my ID again before handing it back. “Ms. Robertson, but there’s a note on here that she’s not allowed any visitors.”

“I know. She’s in the ICU, but I was told family could see her. I’m her family.”

“Well, according to my screen, she only has one family member permitted to see her.”

Tears danced behind my eyes, a lump formed in my throat, and my heart raced at being this close yet so far away. I paused for a moment to collect myself, and then I tried again. “I can follow those rules. I don’t have any problem with that. I just need to get up there so I can talk to someone about her, so I can find out what’s going on.”

“I’m so sorry, but I think you’ve misunderstood. I’m not saying only one person in the room with her at a time. Her information in the computer has it as she only has one relative. Her husband is here if you’d like to speak with him.”

I gritted my teeth, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with him. But I wasn’t left with much of a choice. If I had any desire at all to see my mother, I had to grin and bear it. I had to suck up the hatred for the man and get through it.

Just then, his voice carried down the hall to the right. No one had needed to call him. It was like he’d sensed I was here and had come running just to taunt me, to prove one more time how my mom would always choose him over me. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have altered her familial information when she’d arrived. If she were unconscious, he would’ve been the one to fill out her paperwork…and he would’ve kept my name off just to spite me.

“I didn’t think you’d show up.” He came to a stop and leaned against the desk.

I fisted my hands at my sides, desperately holding back the fiery anger that boiled inside toward him for so many things, but most importantly, for keeping my mom from me for so long. I knew that he had swayed most of her decisions—and he never bothered to hide that fact from me. I squared my shoulders, lifted my chin, and made sure he understood I wasn’t going to back down.

“My mom is in the hospital, in the ICU…why wouldn’t I come? Just because you filled out paperwork to exclude me from her list of approved visitors doesn’t mean I’ll give up. It won’t stop me. I’ll have the director of this hospital on the phone, and I bet he’ll let me up there to see her.”

“Now, Jade…” He rested his hand on my shoulder and tilted his head, adding to the condescending way he said my name. “There’s no need to revert to the problem child just to get your way. I’m sure there’s a compromise somewhere.”

My skin crawled where he touched me. Utter disgust ran rampant through me until I shrugged him off and took a step back, my hands still clenched.

Just then, the woman behind the desk cleared her throat, reminding me of her presence. “Do I need to call security?” She glanced between the two of us, probably unsure as to which one would cause an issue. And at this point, I more than likely appeared as hostile as I felt.

“I don’t know…” I stared at him, narrowing my gaze with heavy tension in my brow. “Does she? Or are you going to let me see my own mother?”

The way the corners of his mouth practically curled with his smile reminded me of the Guy Fawkes mask from V for Vendetta. It was sinister and caused bile to rise and settle in the back of my throat. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around my waist, as if attempting to protect myself.

When he held my shoulder again, giving it a tight squeeze, something snapped inside me. It was as if fear and anger formed an alliance and created an emotion unlike any other. It burned hot with rage, and desperation added a level of impulsivity that made it as dangerous as an uncontrollable fire. But it was restrained by maturity—although that was nothing more than an illusion of safety. Like the hydrogen nestled inside the confines of the Hindenburg, waiting to dock before igniting in a blaze of untamable fury.

Without slinking away like a coward the way he probably expected me to do, I swung my forearm up and collided it with his to remove his hand from my shoulder. All the while, I shot daggers at him with my eyes. However, it didn’t seem to faze him. Instead of reacting, he simply smirked and said, “I’m on my way to get some coffee. Why don’t you take my spot upstairs for now?”

I hated the way he made it sound like he was doing me a favor. As if this was a choice he’d made out of the kindness of his own heart. Then again, this was nothing new. This was exactly how I remembered him.

“Go ahead and print her a badge if you would, please, Darla.” He may have been speaking to the elderly woman, but he never took his eyes off me. “She’s been estranged from her mother for some time now, and I think the right thing to do would be to let her have a few moments to make peace with her, considering the severity of the situation.”

Finally breaking eye contact, I retreated one step and turned my attention to the woman with silver, wispy hair, who managed to avoid us while tapping on the keyboard. Within a few seconds, she had a printed visitor badge for me to stick on my shirt.

It took mental effort to lose the attitude when thanking her. After all, she wasn’t the villain here. She was simply an employee following the rules—who may or may not have become friendly with the heartless man in front of me.

When I moved to step around him, he held out his hand and caught me around the waist. Instinctively, I shoved against his chest, freed myself, and picked up the pace as I walked away. And once I reached the elevator banks, I took a deep breath and allowed the anxiety to dissipate.

Giving the tiniest space in my chest for pride to swell.

I didn’t back down. I didn’t cower in a corner or concede to his manipulation. It may not have been much, but it was enough to make me believe I could win.

I waited for the elevator with a smile on my face…and dread in my heart.