CHAPTER TWELVE
JACE
The Saturday after I listened to the woman I’d have sex with confess her sins, I cancelled on my brothers for lunch. I didn’t know how to deal with all of it myself, but I knew that my brothers were the wrong ones to ask. I love them more than my next breath, but neither of them is very religious. Grandmother tried, but I was the only one it stuck onto to…and look how that turned out.
Anyway, I needed some quiet time so I spent all day Saturday organizing my new apartment and talking aloud to God as I did. I wished so badly that He could just tell me what to do. I suddenly understood those parishioners who came to me and said, “God gives me all of these choices…why doesn’t he just put the right one in front of me so I know which one it is?”
I knew what the Catholic Church expected of me. I’d taken vows to serve God and to remain pious as I did so. I knew that I should confess my own sins to the priest at our Diocese, and I knew that once I did that, there would have to be consequences for my actions beyond those of my tortured soul. I hadn’t been able to do any of that. It’s like I was stuck in Limbo, waiting for someone to tell me which direction to go in.
The following Saturday morning, my brother Ryan called me. “Hey! You have to show up for lunch today.”
“I don’t know, Rye…”
“Come on! Too much is changing. Grandmother is gone, and you’re pulling away from us. I can’t handle it, Jace!”
“I’m not pulling away. I’ve just had a lot to do and a lot on my mind with the move and all.”
“Two hours, one afternoon. Come on, bro. Please.”
How could I say no? I dressed in street clothes and met them at the Applebee’s in town. Max was dressed in his usual button down dress shirt and slacks, and Ryan had on faded jeans with holes in them, a Levi jacket with the sleeves cut off to make a vest, and a white-t-shirt. Colorful tattoos covered both of his arms. They looked like an odd couple and I had to chuckle at what we would have looked like together had I worn my collar.
“Hey, there’s the wayward brother. Are you trying to steal Ryan’s role?” Max asked me as I walked up.
“Nope, he’s still the wayward one,” I said with a grin. Max got up and hugged me and Ryan followed suit.
“I’m so glad you showed up that I’m not even going to let your insults get to me,” he said. We all sat down and ordered. My brothers ordered beers with their lunch. I hadn’t had a drink at all since that night. I ordered water.
“So, how are things going for you, Rye?” I felt bad that I hadn’t called more to check in on him. I knew that he was a grown man, but I also knew that my grandmother had coddled him and made it hard for him to be able to do things on his own that grown men should be able to do.
“Things are okay. One day at a time, you know?”
“He’s just mostly having a hard time learning how to work the appliances,” Max joked. “You know, washer, dryer, coffee pot…” Ryan flipped him the bird. “Not in front of the priest!” Max scolded him.
I rolled my eyes and said, “Are you kidding? He’s blatantly picked up women right in front of me.”
Ryan laughed and said, “Well, in my defense…I was drunk.”
We all laughed at that. It was good to just laugh and joke with them and take my mind off of my troubles for a while. We ate our lunch and carried on light conversation, trading barbs and insults. For a while, it seemed like the old days and my soul seemed lighter than it had in a long time.
That was until Ryan leaned in and told Max, “Don’t look now, but three fine pieces of ass just walked in and sat down behind us.”
Max took a whiff of the air and said, “I can smell them. Fresh pussy.”
“Come on, you two; that’s disrespectful,” I said.
“You’re right,” Max said. “I’m sorry.”
Ryan shook his head and looked back at the girls. “I have a really hard time understanding how you do it, bro. How could a man give up pussy…”
“And alcohol,” Max said, raising his glass.
“Well, he can have wine, right?”
I didn’t want to get into all the rules with him right then, so I just said, “Yeah, as long as it’s blessed.”
Max laughed heartily and said, “Well maybe we could have a pussy blessed and then you can have one of those, too.” Ryan thought that was hilarious and choked on his beer as he laughed.
The girls they were lusting after took notice of our rowdy table and looked over. Max pasted his most charming smile on his face and said, “Hello, ladies.” The girls all said hello and then whispered something and giggled. I thought my brothers were going to actually let it go until Ryan all of a sudden said,
“Do we have to have the pussy blessed by another priest, or can you do it yourself?”
He and Max laughed at that like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. Growing annoyed with being laughed at and feeling so stressed out I thought I might explode, I slammed down my water glass and said, “You know what? I was drunk two weeks ago…in a bar…and I took home some amazing pussy.”
The table went dead silent for several seconds and then I heard Ryan’s fork clatter to the table. Then, in that eloquent way my little brother has of speaking, I heard, “The fuck you say?”