Tiffany

 

 

 

“Crush them, sexy!” Aria yelled at her boyfriend who was currently whipping around a small indoor racetrack in a red electric kart.

I think it was her boyfriend Alexander. Everyone had helmets on, and I couldn’t tell who was who. I even lost David in the crowd of testosterone that filled that track. Except for Morgana—she was the lone female of the racers.

“There are kids out there, Aria. I wouldn’t encourage a six-foot-three man to crush them while racing around in metal vehicles.” I pointed to the red and black blurs going around and around.

It was David’s birthday party, and everyone was having a great time at the kart racing center. Several kids that David got to know through Diego were here, including Diego. Even Matt and his mom flew in to visit.

Matt was excited to see David walking. It was like no time had passed as they caught up with each other. Matt had sensory sensitivities, so he stood on the sidelines and watched everyone race around. Every so often, David would stop racing and come over to hang out with his old friend.

“When does he get here,” Evaleen mumbled between bites of her hot dog.

I pointed to the corner of her mouth. “You’ve got a little mustard right there.”

She wiped at the glob. “Answer the question, Blackburn.”

“Who do you mean?” I asked as I turned my attention back to the track.

Of course, the SWIM Meet gals showed with their men. Evaleen and Aria were sitting with me at a table filled with hot dogs, French fries, and pickles. Evaleen was eating most of the food.

“Is it Jagger Chance?” she asked.

That made my spine straighten.

“Jagger? Why would Jagger come to David’s party?” Aria asked appearing just as uneasy as I felt.

Evaleen leaned a little closer to Aria, dripping some of the mustard from the hot dog on her arm. “Because they have the hots for each other.”

“We do not,” I lied.

I was a healthy woman that may have been celibate for a decade—not by choice—but that doesn’t mean my libido had shriveled up and turned into a tiny little raisin. Jagger had the body of a cross between a Greek god and a lumberjack. At least, that’s what I imagined in my head when I pictured him naked. If he were a model in New York City, I’m sure he would be rolling in cash.

But he isn’t a model, he’s a secret government agent. I don’t even know his real name. It could be Gerald or Gavin or Griffin. Why can’t I think of anything but names that begin with a G?

“Stop lying to yourself, Blackburn. If anyone needs to get laid, it’s you,” Evaleen said.

“I one hundred percent agree with that statement.” Aria balled up the paper napkin she used to wipe up her arm.

“What does me needing to get laid have to do with whether or not Jagger wants me or not? Or that I might want him?” I shrugged but wouldn’t look into Evaleen’s defense breaking blue eyes.

“Oh, well, if it doesn’t matter then you won’t care that he’s heading right this way,” she said before popping a fry into her mouth.

You know that moment when you feel a sudden charge in the air. In that second, no, less than a second, that nanosecond, you know everything will change. That’s how I felt when I turned my eyes toward the front of Kart One, formerly a Skate-O-Rama that went out of business in the late 90s. The roller rink expanded and turned into a race track.

I don’t know if it was the smell of the burned rubber or Evaleen’s hot dog, but I felt nauseous and exhilarated all at the same time.

Evaleen was right. I had the hots for Jagger. I didn’t like that I desired him like a warm bag of nuts at a World Series game, but I did.

He was sexy, great with David, and was kind to me. But I shouldn’t have those feelings. Not for Jagger. He was the opposite of safe.

I know that, logically, he’s not someone I should consider for myself especially with me having a son. I guess that’s why my heart wasn’t my brain and my brain certainly didn’t feel like my heart.

“Hello, ladies,” Jagger said as he approached the table.

“Agent Chance.” Evaleen nodded before wiping her mouth with another napkin.

“Hi, Jagger. It’s great to see you again,” Aria said but stared at me the entire time.

“Jagger, glad you could make it. I know David will be excited to see you,” I said as I waved for him to sit on the red plastic seat at our white linoleum table.

Aria began to cough. She got up and waved Evaleen to follow her.

“Looks like Dixon needs water. See you later.” Evaleen got up but brought the red plastic basket of fries with her.

“Looks like everyone is having fun on the track,” Jagger said.

“Yup. Sure does,” I said as I felt the electricity devolve into awkwardness. The kind of awkwardness that crept up under your armpits and decided to go swimming by creating a pool.

“It’s hot in here,” I said flapping my arms and pulling at my white and green flower-patterned blouse.

I slid my eyes to the side and noticed Jagger tug at the neckline of his blue T-shirt.

“I thought it was just me. Maybe I can speak to the manager about turning up the air conditioning.” He looked around and gasped just before his eyes widened.

Waving his hand in the air, I turned to see a man about ten years older than us wave back.

“I know him. We used to work together.”

The man was coming toward us. Maybe I could find out something about Jagger other than he was a secret agent.

Jagger stood and opened his arms. “If it isn’t Hack! What are you doing here?”

The guy, wearing a red button-up dress shirt and black slacks, hugged Jagger.

“I own this place. And it isn’t Hack anymore. I can use my real name now—Tom Martinez.”

They pulled back and Tom gazed over at me, nodding.

I stood and held my hand out to him. “Hi, I’m Tiffany. My son, David, is having his birthday party here today.”

He gave a firm shake and then pointed to the track mentioning he wished David a happy birthday before he got into the kart. He talked about kart racing for a while before he asked about me.

“So, Tiffany, how do you know Jagger?”

I frowned and glanced at Jagger who didn’t appear any happier at the question.

“We’re married,” I said because what could I do? I’m not going to lie to the man.

If Jagger needed to lie, he could do that himself. We both messed up getting married in Vegas, but I was drugged, or at least I think I was, so I didn’t really have control over my actions. Jagger admitted he was drunk, but not so drunk that he couldn’t remember. Not so drunk that he had no control.

“Married? You finally settled down. How’d they take that at the agency? I’m sure you’re not in the field any more then.”

Jagger was rubbing the back of his neck. His face red. “I’m still in the field.”

Tom’s brow creased. “But that’s risky. When I met Nina, I knew she was it. I made a decision I had to take a desk job at the agency or leave. Since I hate paperwork, I chose to leave. Best decision I ever made.”

He waved his hands around him, proud of his business.

“That’s sweet you gave up your career for the woman you love. That’s risky too. You could have grown to miss it and regret giving it up,” I said.

“No, I knew it was time. I had that uneasy itch for a while.”

“Uneasy itch?” Jagger asked.

Scratching the back of his neck, he gave a slight chuckle as if remembering a joke. “It was crazy. I kept asking to do more and more dangerous assignments. Is Katlin still there?”

Jagger nodded.

Tom sighed. “She knew. One day she sat me down and talked to me about burnout. It’s not an easy life, and most agents don’t do it long-term for a reason. I thought it odd after our talk that she invited me to a barbeque she was having that weekend.”

“Katlin Chester? The walking, talking, government robot. She invited you to a party at her place?” Jagger asked with wide eyes.

“I know, crazy. I didn’t even realize she owned a home. I just thought she slept at the office. The woman is all work and zero emotion. Anyway, I go to the barbeque and that’s where I meet Nina. After dating her for a few months, I knew it was time to walk away.”

“I guess when you two met, you were ready for something new, both professionally and personally,” I said.

“Not so much new. More like, I was ready to face my fears and open my heart.”

We stood for a moment in silence. I smiled up at Tom. His gaze flipped between Jagger and me before he slapped him on the shoulder. “I’ve got to get back. I’m glad you found happiness, Jagger.”

Once he left, Jagger turned and as his eyes landed on me, it all came back at once. The heat. The electricity. And all that intensity seemed to drown out the noise and melt away the people around us.

“I need to talk to you, Tiffany. I meant to tell you three days ago when I came over and David invited me here.”

Something propelled me forward, away from him. I needed the sounds and the lights and the zip of the karts as they raced by. Anything to ground me. To hold me up as I knew Jagger was about to knock me down.

I stood at the edge of the track. A hard, thick, white plastic fence kept the speeding vehicles from plowing into me. Something about that was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. And yet, I’d rather feel that, be dangerously close to that edge, than hear what Jagger had to say.

“Okay, so talk.” I forced the words out.

He was going to leave us. What Tom had to say made it obvious. It was too dangerous for him to be close to David and me. I should be happy about that. It’s what I wanted.

Why would I rather be hit by a speeding kart than hear his last words to me?

“It’s about the ninja lessons and me coming over to your place,” he said.

I closed my eyes to steel against the impending blow. This was going to devastate David. He talked about Jagger all the time.

“What about that?”

I could barely breathe as I forced the tears back. He wasn’t right for my family, but that didn’t stop me from caring about him. This was for the best. I just had to tell myself that over and over again until I believed it.

“I can’t be David’s ninja instructor anymore. I only came here today to wish David a happy birthday, drop off his gift, and give you something. Then, I’m afraid, I can’t see you anymore.”

I nodded. My eyes burned but I couldn’t look at him.

“I’ll leave David’s gifts with the others,” he said, and I glanced over at the table full of presents against the wall. “But this one, it’s for you. Please understand, we can’t happen. As much as I want . . . never mind. We just can’t.”

I felt his hand on mine and when I looked down, I noticed a gift bag hanging from my curled fingers. When I turned around, he was gone. Glancing toward the front of the building, I saw the door closing and a tall figure leaving.

Sitting, I opened the bag. There was a note which I ignored. I knew what he had to say in it and I didn’t want to read that right now. So, I opened the box. It was a candy bracelet. My lips curled into a sad smile.

Taking a breath, I got the courage to pick up the note.

You’re like this candy bracelet, Tiffany. A never-ending loop of sweetness and joy. And I don’t want to spoil your goodness with my bitter life. I’ll never forget you. - Jagger