Jagger

 

 

 

“Tiffany was right,” I said as I tore apart a paper napkin. “Everyone was right.”

I slammed my fist on the round table causing it to wobble and my coffee to spill a few drops.

“Why am I here?” Edgar asked, sitting across the booth from me at Wake Up Joe’s with wide eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I chuckled in that way a person does when they know their life is shit.

“Who am I to think I know better than a mother that has spent almost her entire kid’s life working hard to keep him healthy. To keep him alive. I’ve witnessed some terrible stuff as an agent and in my family. Things that would make you give up on humanity. Some things that parents do to their children, I still have nightmares about, but Tiffany is the opposite of that.”

It had been two days since Tiffany kicked me out of her place after telling her that she needed to give her son more freedom. I’m such an ass. She’ll probably run back into the arms of that shirtless guy that she was in the picture with. He probably doesn’t judge her.

I still hadn’t heard back from Tenn about anything he might have found out about that guy. Tenn probably didn’t even look into it. I really am alone.

“Evaleen said you had something to tell me so I agreed to sit down to talk. Now if you don’t mind, I need to get back to my pregnant girlfriend who happens to be craving scones. Lots of scones.” Edgar got out of the booth, but I grabbed his arm and stared up into his gray eyes.

“But I need your help.”

Edgar’s eyes crinkled in satisfaction as he removed my hand from his arm like he was picking off a spider. He folded his arms and towered over me as I stayed seated. “Well, well, well, it seems the tables have turned. The big, thuggish agent now needs help from my tiny balls.”

He glanced around realizing that a few people heard him. Edgar slid back into the booth. “Don’t think I forgot what you did to me.”

“You mean when I saved you, your girlfriend, and her mom from impending death?” I sat back staring at him.

Edgar cleared his throat. “That was your job, which you don’t even have any more from what I hear.”

I held up my hands in surrender. “Look, I’m sorry I kneed you in your balls in the alleyway that one time. You were right, I didn’t have to do it.”

“Then, why did you?”

“You were there and you wouldn’t shut up. Asking all those questions about your supposed cousin, who wasn’t your cousin at all.” I tilted my head at him because he wasn’t as innocent in all this as he made himself out to be.

“I thought you would take sympathy on me if I said Ashton was my cousin . . . that you might tell me something.”

“I did take sympathy on you since I know what it was like to lose a cousin in a terrible way. You’re lucky I didn’t do more than knee you after I found out he wasn’t your cousin and who you really were.” I pointed at Edgar.

My shoulders fell as I leaned back in my seat. “I do a lot of things I wouldn’t or couldn’t normally do when I’m undercover. Some things I shouldn’t do, like kneeing you in your junk. Some things are fun little perks like staying in a big suite in Las Vegas a few months back because Emma Hawthorne rented out the floor of the hotel.”

“Fine. I guess we’re even. I lied to you to get information and you kneed me in the balls. What is the help you need from me? If it’s to lie to Tiffany, that’s not going to happen. She’s a sweet and a thoughtful woman, and I’m not about to deceive her.”

She’s not as sweet as you think. There’s a wicked side to her that’s just as addictive.

“I don’t want you to lie to her. I want you to give her this letter.” I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the slightly wrinkled envelope. “I get the feeling if I mailed it to her, she’d only throw it in the trash.”

He took the envelope from my hand. “Fine but I don’t think I’ll have a chance to see Tiffany until the rehearsal dinner next week. With work, getting everything ready for Henrik’s bachelor night, and dealing with Evaleen’s unique cravings, I got a lot on my plate.”

I nodded. “That’s fine. It was time for me to be honest with her. The good and the bad. If she hates me I wanted it to be for the truth and not because she thinks I believe she’s a bad mother. If anything, she’s better than most parents I have come in contact with.”

“Wow, she must hate you. Did you really tell her she was a bad mom?” Edgar leaned forward.

“No, I didn’t. I just agreed with her son when they were having a fight—”

“Oh no. You don’t ever do that. Look, I’m going to let you in on something. I may not be a parent or, obviously a woman,” he waved a hand across his chest, “but I do know how women think. No matter what the woman says, you agree with her. She is always right. As for David, he has friends that he can complain to about his mom. It’s what all kids do, but Tiffany, she needs her friends to back her up. You understand?”

“Not really. What happens when Tiffany is wrong about something. Say hypothetically, it’s life-threatening. That her wrong decision will cost the life of someone. Then I really shouldn’t agree with her.”

I realized where Edgar was going with this, but I still felt that if Tiffany wanted to be the best mom she could be and loved David, then she needed to hear the truth no matter how much it hurt.

“That’s when you let a doctor handle it. Tell her you both need to ask an expert, obviously. But, with anything else, I would go along with whatever she says. Remember, David isn’t your son, and Tiffany isn’t your wife or even your girlfriend.”

He had a point.

“Okay, I still think she deserves the truth but if Evaleen trusts you, then I guess you know what you’re talking about.”

I had spent some time with Evaleen before I was fired, as she finally agreed to train to become an agent. I wondered if she told Edgar. She said she didn’t want to be a field agent, which was a relief considering she had a baby on the way. But, she was very interested in our Intelligence Analysis department. She would analyze the intelligence gathered and help our agents predict possible outcomes in the field, like the next move a criminal we were watching might take.

Edgar nodded. “Now that’s settled. I have to take this bag of scones back to Evaleen before she sends out a search party.”

Just before he turned to leave I said, “Has Evaleen told you yet?”

I had to ask to see if she told him yet, wondering how Edgar would handle that.

His brow creased. “Told me what?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

Edgar leaned forward wanting to know more so I pointed to his bag. “Better get those back to Evaleen before she comes looking for you.”

His eyes widened and he turned his head, looking out the café window. He grabbed the paper bag that was on the table and my letter before rushing out the door.

I decided it was time to head out of here and sulk in my crappy apartment. Taking a few last sips of coffee, I threw it in the trash before I left.

It took a bus ride and a ten-minute walk, but I made it to my place. Just as I entered my apartment door and threw my keys on the television console that was three feet from the door, my buzzer rang.

Groaning, I pressed the talk button expecting to hear a food delivery guy that got the wrong apartment number. It happened on occasion here. But the voice I heard crackling back from the speaker surprised me.

“Hi. It’s Tiffany. Can I talk to you?”

I hit the open button for the door and wondered how she got my address. Opening the door to my apartment, I waited for her to appear at the top of the stairs. When she did, my heart picked up its pace as if I was the one winded from climbing the stairs.

“Top floor?” she said pulling at the collar of her pink dress, letting a light breeze underneath.

“Nothing but the best.” I smirked, stepping inside my place and holding the door as she walked past.

“It’s uh, quaint.” Her eyes surveyed my small living room and the window that gave a sprawling view of the train tracks.

I waved her over to my brown leather couch which took up half the length of the room. She sat giving me a small smile. Her thick, gorgeous hair was pulled back into a braid and the loosened pieces that fell stuck to her face.

“Would you like some ice water?” I asked.

“Yes, please. Don’t you have air-conditioning?”

I got up and went behind the wall to my small galley kitchen to retrieve a glass. “Yes. I have wall units, but when I turn them on, it’s too loud to hear anything so I save it for the night when I’m sleeping.”

After I filled her cup with ice and water, I came back giving her the refreshing drink. She took a few gulps before pressing the glass to her forehead.

“It doesn’t bother you when you sleep? The noise?”

“I got used to it. Besides, being an agent, I never spent much time here. When I used to be one, anyway.” I shrugged.

Her eyes glanced around and it gave me a chance to study her. Even with the muggy heat of the apartment and how uncomfortable she was, Tiffany never let on she was unhappy. In fact, she smiled every chance she could.

That’s what I kept my eyes on, her lips. Her grin did something to me. The curve of her lips was more than just a turn on, it was life-giving. Her smile could light the way at night, and still have me refreshed by morning.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” she said as the light in her face died with her grin.

“What? Why?”

“Because you were honest with me when discussing David and I yelled at you for it. And, you were right.” She sighed putting the glass down on the small oval coffee table. “I think that’s why I got so defensive.”

“You are a great mom to that boy. Please don’t doubt that. If that’s what you thought I meant, it’s not.”

Tiffany turned to the side, raising her knee on the couch. “I don’t know anymore. I used to think I was good but maybe I only know how to take care of a boy whose body has rendered him helpless. Now that he’s not vulnerable and can do most things by himself, I’m the one left feeling helpless.”

“That doesn’t stop you from being his mom. He may not need you to help him as much, but he still needs you.” I took her cool hand in mine, giving it a squeeze.

“But I worry so much, still. That there will be that one moment, when I’m not there, and everything will go wrong.” Her eyes became glassy as she turned her head from me.

“Then worry. Or better yet, let someone help distract you.” I glanced down at her lips.