8
S C R A T C H I N G T H E S U R F A C E
Let me kiss your wounds,
And hold you until the world stops.
THE WATER WAS COLD AGAINST my back.
Fuck.
She’d become even more intoxicating than I remembered. Even more lost and unaware of how amazing she was. It took all my willpower to keep from making a move on her. To keep control over my hands when her eyes were pleading for me to touch her. To make her feel something other than the numbness that came with being alone.
A numbness I knew all too well.
I braced my hands on the cool tile, the icy water from the shower doing nothing to ease the ache of the hardness I got when thinking about her. I had to relieve myself. Her hair smelled so good, like honey and lavender. Lips round and full, dying to be kissed. Longing that she thought she kept hidden filled her eyes, but she didn’t fool me.
I knew she wanted me, she was just scared to admit it.
Seeing how she came unraveled at the dinner table told me everything I needed to know—she did still think about that night. Maybe even wrote about it. That thought turned me on even more. Delving into her mind. Reading her innermost thoughts about what she wanted out of life. How she wanted to be touched. How she wanted to be viewed. I wanted to be that person for her. To run my thumb over her lips and watch her shudder. Spill into her and claim her as my own.
But she’d been through hell, and I couldn’t force her to see how good we could be together. I had to remind her there was more to life and it was within reach, because I loved her. Truly. I’d loved her from the moment I met her, even if I didn’t know what love meant back then.
I just had to prove it to her.
THE TANTALIZING SMELL OF BREAKFAST lingered through the house. Mrs. Hale might have been a lot of things, but she could cook her ass off. After brushing my teeth, I put on a pair of shorts and found a clean shirt buried within the clutter of my suitcase.
I wondered if Andy was up as I headed downstairs. How was she going to act after last night? Would she shut me out again?
Rounding the corner to the kitchen, I spotted Charlie on a stool in front of the stove. Mrs. Hale stood next to him, helping him pour pancake batter into a pan. His soft gaze and easy smile were the spitting image of his mom. He was the coolest ten-year-old I’d ever met, and knowing that only drew me to Andy more. She was raising him up that way—to have manners and to see life in a deeper light.
The thought of having kids scared the hell out of me, but not when I thought about Andy being a part of it.
“Did you find anything, dear?” Mrs. Hale asked, her back turned to us.
Josh set the morning paper down. “No. You can’t rush greatness.”
“Find what?” I asked, peering over his shoulder. He was scouring the comic section.
“A job,” he replied, reaching for his mug.
“You’re not going to find one in the comic sec—”
He jabbed me in the stomach, mouthing at me to shut up as he nodded in Mrs. Hale’s direction.
“But you live back in Tennessee,” I pointed out, confused, rubbing where he hit me.
He shrugged and flipped the pages to the classifieds. “The scenery is getting old, and Mom thinks I can find better work down here.”
The way his eyes dodged mine when he said this told me there was more to it. I’d have to talk to him when we were alone.
“It will come,” Mrs. Hale assured over her shoulder. “Just keep looking.”
“Andy,” Josh announced as she walked into the kitchen. “Didn’t think the sand man would allow you to be up this early.”
My nerves twisted when I turned and looked at her.
She faked a laugh and scowled at Josh, and then moved past me as if I wasn’t standing in the way. My muscles tightened as her scent lingered, spicy and sweet, taunting me. I swallowed, pushing away the thought about reaching for her.
“Morning, buddy,” she said, kissing Charlie on the forehead before ruffling his hair.
I imagined being able to see her like that every morning. Sleep still in her eyes. Hair thrown into a messy ponytail. Her oversized T-shirt hanging just above the edge of her cloth shorts.
Everything about her screamed sex, even when she was adorable.
I took a seat next to Josh and nodded a thanks to him when he slid me a fresh cup of coffee.
“I’m making you pancakes, Momma,” Charlie said as he beamed a smile in Andy’s direction.
“And they smell amazing,” she replied, dotting the tip of his nose with her finger.
Angelic, I thought. Perfect. Sweet. Humble.
“Coffee?” Mrs. Hale asked her.
“Sure.” She took the offered mug, and then found her seat in between Josh and me, shoving him when he tried to start in on her again.
“You’re going to make me spill my coffee, woman,” he said, growling at her.
“Then leave me alone.” She reached for a plate.
“Morning,” I said, desperate for her to look at me.
She dropped the plate, spine going rigid
“Break the plate, why don’t you?” Josh remarked. “I’d love nothing more than to watch Mom lose her—”
Andy pointed her fork in his face and glared.
His hands shot up in surrender.
“What are you going on about?” Mrs. Hale asked a second later as she set a plate full of pancakes and bacon on the bar.
“Nothing.” Andy shot another warning look in Josh’s direction.
He grabbed a pancake and shoved it in his mouth, stifling his laughter.
I looked at her as she assembled her plate, at the red splotches forming just above the collar of her T-shirt. At her hands, somewhat trembling as she tried to pour the syrup. She was just as unglued as I was.
She peered out the corner of her eye at me from behind a curtain of mahogany hair.
I looked away just as she did this, pretending to be just as oblivious. “Smells delicious, Charlie,” I said over Josh’s laughter. “You cook often?”
“Sometimes. When Momma lets me.” He hopped off his stool and climbed onto a barstool.
Mrs. Hale handed him a plate with a pancake and a few slices of bacon before sliding him the syrup.
“Charlie loves to cook,” Andy said, smiling at him.
I swallowed and added, “Well, I can tell, because these are the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”
“Lay it on thick,” Josh said under his breath.
Andy huffed and dug into her food as I looked past her, telling him it was his turn to shut up.
“What are you boys going to do today?” Mrs. Hale asked as she watched us eat. My mother did the same thing. Watched us, but never made a plate for herself.
“Mom, sit. Eat,” Andy said. “You make me nervous when you hover like that.”
She sipped on her coffee. “I’m not hungry, dear, but thank you.”
“We’re going to fish,” Josh said, shooting me a look. “Dad said they restocked the pond.”
“They did,” Mrs. Hale confirmed as she took Josh’s plate away and washed it.
“Can I come?” Charlie asked, eyebrows raised and his voice bright.
Josh smiled at him. “Of course, buddy.”
“That’s his only redeeming quality—the fact that he’s great at being an uncle,” I heard Andy murmur under her breath. She looked over at me when I chuckled, almost as if she hadn’t thought she’d said it out loud.
“What about you?” I asked, searching her eyes for any sign of how she felt. If she felt any better than she had last night.
She continued eating as if she hadn’t heard me.
“Yeah, Andy…” Josh drawled out. “Want to come hang out with us?”
She pushed her plate away. “I’m good.”
My heart dropped.
“Why not?” I asked before taking a bite of bacon. I shouldn’t push her, but I couldn’t help it. She’d kept herself closed off from everyone for so long… someone had to come and rattle her awake, and I’d be damned if it was going to be anyone but me.
She turned to face me, eyebrows pressed together. “Because.”
“Because why?” I asked again, not giving up even though her paramount annoyance made me want to chuckle. The way her lips pinched together when she was thinking was so damn cute that it was hard to be offended. She tucked her hair behind her ears as so many words passed through her eyes. “Because I… I…”
“Because she’s a lady, and ladies don’t do those sort of things,” Mrs. Hale finished for her. “You can stay and help me plan the barbecue with the girls from church.”
“Yeah. Sounds like much more fun, Andy,” Josh said with a snort as he stood. “Charlie, why don’t you go change into something you can get messy and meet me on the porch in ten. Okay?”
Charlie looked to Andy, who nodded an approval before he and Josh headed out of the kitchen.
I carried my plate to the sink and rinsed it before Mrs. Hale had the chance to steal it from me, trying to think about how I could convince Andy to go. When I turned, my eyes found hers. They stayed for a moment. “It’s a shame. Think you’d have some fun,” I said before walking out of the kitchen, leaving the bait on the edge of the hook.
I didn’t make it far before I felt her hand on my arm.
“Dean, wait,” she said, eyes pulsing with a need for excitement.
I grinned the size of a crescent moon as my eyes swept over her face, watching her scramble for the right words.
I leaned close. “See you in ten, Andy.”