19
A D A N C E W I T H T I M E
Time is but a measure I can map my love for you with.
LOVE HAPPENED QUICKLY AND SWIFTLY, like the first breath of air, bringing us to life. My heart was hers before I even knew how to give it away, and she’d finally handed me hers in return.
Charlie and Mr. Hale returned from camping. With them, time became a cassette tape stuck in fast forward. The days counted down to the Fourth of July celebration in a blur of kissing and words. Filled with fishing and laughing and watching Charlie live his youth the same way we had. Josh taught Charlie how to drive. I taught him how to shoot a bow.
Late at night, before Charlie was sent to bed, we’d sit next to each other on the porch playing Words with Friends. I didn’t want the days to end. In some ways, it felt like they didn’t… even though they passed by quicker than we noticed.
The day before the celebration, we woke to a sort of orderly chaos. My dad had arrived and was walking with Mr. Hale as the rides that Hale & Thurston’s firm always sponsored were brought in.
Mrs. Hale never threw a party that wouldn’t be remembered.
We had to clear out of the backyard while the company came in and set up, filling the Hale’s empty, endless acres with rental equipment that would transform their backyard into a small fair. Charlie and I sat on the back porch and watched as the Ferris wheel went up. It only held five cages, but it was still large enough to keep me away from it. It was the star attraction of the event, bringing in hordes of potential clients from all over the county.
Generators were hidden, housing power to the small train and the bounce houses set up all over. It wasn’t until the sun began to fade that the tents were constructed, the largest set somewhere in the middle where the party would take place long after the kids were asleep.
My dad left later that night without a word in my direction.
“Dean,” Andy said, watching as it happened.
“I’m going to get some wood for a fire.” I needed a minute to collect myself.
“Can I help?” Charlie asked.
Andy tried to hold him back, but I didn’t mind his company. With only a few days left, I wanted to make the most of our time, and that included time with Charlie.
“Sure,” I said, nodding at Andy to let her know it was okay.
Mr. Hale had a healthy supply along the side of his house, so we grabbed a few logs and carried them back to the pit near the pool and dropped them in. I showed Charlie how to light a fire as Josh and Andy moved in, taking seats while reaching for the stuff Andy brought to make s’mores.
It didn’t take long before the stories started, each one lighting Charlie’s face as he got to see each of us in a different light. Josh recounted the day I took off down a hill he dared me to roller skate on. He described in painful detail the awful spill that happened when I hit a pothole and tumbled to my near death, resulting in a fractured arm.
What he didn’t know was it wasn’t for lack of balance. It was because I noticed her. She was sitting at the base of the hill in a field of wildflowers, scribbling in her notebook. Even though she didn’t partake in half the stupid shit we did, she always made sure to be there. Watching over us. Writing.
She looked up at me as I started down the hill, then smiled, and it was all I could think about. Not paying attention to the hill or looking out for any rocks or craters. Just her breathtaking smile.
And down I went.
“Needless to say, Dean was laid up for a while,” Josh said, wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes.
“I’m glad my past pains bring you so much joy,” I retorted, waiting for the marshmallow to catch fire.
Josh smirked through the flames. “Hey, I take what I can get to bring you down to my level. Otherwise, you’d just be the same old do-gooder who always makes me look bad.”
Andy found my eyes across the fire, a pale orange glow flickering across her face. Offered me a warm smile I felt all the way to my feet.
“Did it hurt?” Charlie asked me as he pulled his marshmallow from the fire to check it.
“A little.” I pulled my marshmallow just as it caught fire. Perfect.
“Don’t lie,” Josh pestered.
“I’ve never broken a bone,” Charlie said, looking up at me. I still couldn’t get over how much he looked like Andy.
“And how about we keep it that way?” Andy said, her mothering tone sweet and firm.
Charlie looked over at my marshmallow, inspecting it, and then stuck his back into the flames until it caught on fire just as mine had. I grabbed the pack of graham crackers and held one out for him as he blew out his fully charred marshmallow. He grinned when he pointed the stick toward the cracker and sat the mallow down. I covered it with the other cracker, and then pulled.
“Thanks,” he said, taking it from me.
We watched as he took a big bite, marshmallow covering the sides of his mouth, eyes squeezing shut in pure bliss. It hit me then as I remembered what it felt like to be a kid. For something as simple as a s’more to make me feel like I was on top of the world.
“I’ve got a memory to share.”
Everyone looked to Charlie as he licked the sticky mess from his fingers.
“Shoot,” I said, interested in hearing what he had to say.
“The last time Momma let us stay here, when I was smaller, I remember Gramps had a big case he was working on and he needed help. I remember Momma letting me put the colored stickers on the folders to help her. I was sad when she told me it was bedtime. It looked like Momma was swimming in papers, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep with me.
“I remember waking up because I had to use the bathroom. I was scared because Momma wasn’t in the bed. She told me she’d come sleep with me as soon as she finished helping Gramps with his work stuff, so I left the room to look for her. I saw you,” he said, looking up at me. “Momma was sleeping in the chair in the living room with all those papers around her, and I saw you putting them in the folders for her. You saw me, and you walked me back to bed, and then carried Momma in.”
Andy covered her mouth as her eyebrows rose in realization, the fire crackling in front of us.
“The next morning, I remember Momma was able to take me fishing like she promised because all the work was done for Gramps. When Momma thanked Uncle Josh for helping her, I remember you telling me it was our secret to keep that it was you. That Momma’s happiness was far more important than the credit of who helped her.”
Andy looked to Josh, her mouth open. “You took credit for that?”
Josh squirmed a little on his log, and then shrugged, plunging a stick into the fire. “You got to fish, didn’t you? That’s what matters.”
Emotions twinkled like stars in her eyes as she pieced that night together. “I thought Dad had put me to bed. I thought he and Josh had finished up what I couldn’t, so I could spend time with Charlie.”
I stuck another marshmallow on the end of my stick. “It was nothing, Andy. I had nothing going on and figured I’d pitch in since I couldn’t sleep. You needed the rest.”
“That’s what you call chivalry. Isn’t it, Momma?” Charlie said, beaming a smile brighter than the moon.
I quirked my head to the side as something passed between the two of them.
“Yes, buddy,” she said, looking to him, and then to me. “He’s chivalrous.”
CHARLIE WAS UP BEFORE EVERYONE.
I found him on the porch watching the hired workers huddled together, being briefed by the company manager who catered the entire event.
“There’s a massive storm coming in back home,” Charlie said as I sat next to him, mug in my hand.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, ready for another one of his forecasts.
He nodded. “It’s moving in quickly from the west. Should be there by the time we get back.” He looked to me, a small thrill in his eyes. “I can feel it. A tornado is coming.”
“Charlie, come eat,” Andy called from the back door.
God, she was sexy in the morning.
Charlie ran off. I didn’t see either of them again until after the chaos had begun later that afternoon. The side lot to the Hale’s house had been turned into a parking lot. A crew was hired just to help park cars.
“There are so many people here,” Charlie shouted as he sat forward in the porch swing, eyes scanning the families leaving the dusty parking lot as they headed toward the entrance in the backyard.
Everything was coordinated perfectly, the house a mere ornament on the lawn.
“Probably everyone in the county,” Andy said admiringly.
Josh came out the back door, warranting a scream from Andy when he came up behind her and said, “Boo!”
She laughed as he darted off into the yard.
“Wait for me, Uncle Josh,” Charlie shouted, words brimming with elation.
“Hey, you,” Josh said as he put Charlie in a headlock. “I call first dibs on the Ferris wheel!”
They took off chasing each other toward the festivities as I offered my arm to Andy. She looked at it, and then around us.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said.
I moved my arm, but she grabbed hold of it before it reached my side again. “Better late than never, right?” she said with a small wink.
“Yeah?”
“Yep,” she affirmed, taking it a step further by kissing me right there on the porch where anyone could see.
Her eyes closed when we kissed, and the world faded away.
When she pulled back, she leaned close to my ear and whispered, “This time tomorrow, you can bet my momma will be giving me an earful.”
“Oh, to be a fly on the wall,” I said, laughing as we crossed the lawn.
We found Charlie and Josh already in line for the Ferris wheel. I spotted a ton of people from town before we even made it over there, prepping myself for the whispers sure to come. Some looked away when our eyes met, and others turned their backs to me, as if my presence brought on the plague.
I could tell the moment Andy’s body tensed that she wasn’t prepared for this. She hadn’t planned what she’d say.
“Hey, Dean,” Brandon, a kid from high school, said as he wandered over to us. “How you been?”
“Good, dude. You?”
He plunged a hand through his hair, all smiles. “I’ve been great, man. Got myself a little family now.” He pointed to a smaller Asian woman chasing a toddler girl around the petting farm. “How about you guys?” he asked, looking between Andy and me.
I gave him the rundown while one of Andy’s old friends from school moved in like a shark in water. The moment Andy recognized her, she let go of my arm.
“Andrea Hale?” Sarah said as she butted in between Brandon and us.
“The one and only,” Andy replied, courage overshadowing any hesitation she might have felt.
“How the hell are you?” Sarah asked.
I remembered her after she was closer. It was hard to tell between the facelift and the dried-up blonde hair, but I remembered Andy inviting her over a few times for the slumber parties she used to throw. She was one of the girls who’d always wandered over to Josh and me, trying to flirt.
Girls like her, the kind who always needed attention, never were my type.
“I’m doing good. Just watching my boy have some fun.” Andy nodded in Charlie’s direction. She moved her hair from her visibly reddening neck.
“Oh, yeah! I heard about what happened with his father. You okay? I know being cheated on can be devastating to a woman’s sense of self,” Sarah said airily, hands waving in and out.
I cringed with Andy.
“I’ll catch you later,” Brandon said, dipping out of the conversation before it went south. I watched him jog back over to his family. For a second, I glimpsed Andy, Charlie, and me. I saw what we could be. What I wanted.
Sarah glanced sideways at me, straightening her shoulders just enough so her breasts stuck out. “And what about you, Dean Thurston?” She said my name as if she were picturing me undressing her, her southern accent thick and overdone. “Still the town’s bad boy, I see.” She looked at the people who stared in our direction.
I put my arm around Andy’s waist and pulled her close. Let them stare. “I don’t recall ever being better.” I looked at Andy, who was oblivious to my wanton stare.
Sarah glanced between us. Her smile vanished. “Wait. No…” Laughter bubbled up. “Are you two like… a thing?”
The way she said it made it sound scandalous, and I couldn’t help but smirk a little as I watched Andy squirm in her shoes.
“We’re… uh…” She turned and looked at me, eyes wide and searching for the best answer.
“We’re very much a thing.” I confirmed the statement by stealing Andy’s lips for a moment. I smiled against her mouth when I felt her knees go a little weak. When Sarah and the fair dropped away.
“Holy shit,” Sarah said when we came up for air. “You’re totally cradle robbing.” She playfully pushed Andy’s shoulder. “Shit. Good for you, girl. Have to snag ‘em when you can ‘cause Lord knows our good looks won’t last forever. First the tits drop, and then the ass starts saggin’. ‘Course, I won’t have to worry about the girls. Got ‘em done last year in Atlanta.”
Andy reached around my backside and squeezed my ass while daring me with her eyes. In her gaze, she was saying, Oh, it’s so on. “Exactly,” she continued, fixing her tone to match Sarah’s. “And this one surely keeps me on my toes. The sex is amazing. Feels like I’ve shaved at least ten years off.”
I was the one who blushed this time.
“Hot damn, man,” Sarah said, looking somewhat put off.
Andy had taken the cards out of my hand and played them to herself. I watched her warmly in wonder. It was her inner-strength that made her beautiful in all the ways that couldn’t be replicated. Like the perfect collision of oils on a canvas.
She was a walking piece of art. Words and all.
“How ‘bout your brother Paul. Is he seeing anyone?” Sarah asked me. She was eying me up and down. Licking her lips.
“Not sure.” I scanned the Ferris wheel for Charlie and Josh. They were just about to get in.
“I could sure use the hookup, if you know what I mean,” Sarah said to Andy. I caught the tail end of a wink.
“No, Sarah. I’m not sure what you mean. Listen, I really need to get going. My son’s about to get on a ride, and I want to be there. If you’ll excuse us…”
She took my hand and pulled me away from Sarah at a clipped pace.
“You know, I should have known the whole freaking town would be here. No one ever misses this. And, of course, I’d be the center of the juicy gossip. As good and invigorating as it felt to put Sarah in her place, I can’t avoid the truth of what they must be thinking. Andrea Hale—daughter to prestigious town lawyer, knocked up and cheated on by the father, left to raise a kid alone.” Her pace picked up with every angry word rolling off her lips. “And now let’s add an even juicer description to the mix. Andrea Hale—single mother fucking her father’s partner’s son. Cradle-robbing Andrea Hale. Thirsty, desperate Andrea Hale.”
I stopped her. Spun her to face me. Her mouth was already puckered up to continue her badgering of herself, but I cupped her face in my hands and finished for her. “Beautifully, wonderfully in love Andrea Hale. Mother of an amazing kid Andrea Hale. Sexiest, most tempting, and talented woman Andrea Hale. A goddess in her own right.”
She tried to look away, but I followed her gaze until I had her eyes again. I was done letting her beat herself up. Not over those assholes.
“Understand this… you can call it fucking, making love, having sex… hell, I don’t even care if you want to call it hide the pickle, but those people—” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder to make my point before continuing. “They don’t get to say that. They don’t get to try to make it dirty or wrong. What we do… that’s between us. If they say anything different, then it just shows how low they’ll go to try and hurt someone else just for kicks.”
She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. The powerful whoosh pushed a strand of hair that had fallen against her cheek. She was so damn adorable. A perfect paradox of sexy and cute. Slowly, a genuine smile bloomed on her lips.
“Mom,” Charlie shouted from his seat on the Ferris wheel. He was waving animatedly between peals of laughter while Josh leaned back and forth, rocking the cage.
My stomach swooped as we waved back. They went higher and higher, and my stomach twisted until I had to look away. I smiled at Andy, trying to hide my fear.
“What?” Andy said. “Oh, I get it. You still hate heights?”
“Give me snakes and spiders. Hell, throw in the boogeyman. But not heights,” I said, focusing on the stand selling candy apples. “I’m going to go grab one for Charlie. Do you want anything?”
She laughed a little. “No, I’m good.”
I ambled up to the line and took my place behind the two people ahead of me. Charlie would be okay, but I hated watching. I couldn’t help them when they were that high. I couldn’t protect them.
“You going to scoot up, asshole?” someone said from behind me. “Or does the candy scare you too?”
It took me a second to register the person was talking to me.
I turned, and every one of my muscles went tight.
It was Matt.
“You think you can fuck my girl, take my son, and hold up the line for candy apples?”
I looked past him to Andy. She was shielding her eyes, head tilted back as she watched Charlie and Josh circle back around. Everything she’d told me about Matt surfaced when I turned to him. He looked like an egotistical prick. One of those guys who wore confidence like a trench coat to hide what he was wearing underneath.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked under my breath, mind scrambling. I didn’t want Andy to know. Didn’t want to watch what should have been a fun day disappear to the hands of a psycho. “This is Andy’s time.”
His eyes narrowed as a pulse of hatred beat between his eyebrows. “Is it now? Who are you? Daddy’s little lawyer prodigy?”
I felt annoyance tapping me on the shoulder, telling me it was time to go. I stepped close to him, refusing to let him think he could scare me. “Look, I don’t know you and I don’t care to, but you need to leave Andy be. Trust me… it’s best for everyone.”
He stared at me for a moment, the anger so prevalent in his features I thought he might have always looked that way. And then, like a switch, he flipped tactics. A broad, unfitting smile stretched across his face as he slapped me on the back. “Why so serious? It’s a free country, man. Figured I’d take a nice little road trip to see what my girl was doing with our boy.” He chortled. “I mean, hell, I didn’t think I’d find her lowering her standards to some chump-ass kid like you, but desperate times, I suppose.”
There was a flash of something in his eyes. A taunting smirk I knew I should ignore. Andy had warned me about him. He was like every other manipulative psycho out there. With her case around the corner, this was the last place he should be.
My chest tightened as every one of my muscles bunched up. “You need to leave.”
His face hardened as his lips tried to form a smile. “Make me.”
Andy turned, looking for me, so I grabbed Matt by the arm and pulled him around the concession stand, out of sight.
“Just what are you trying to gain from this? You and I both know damn well that if Andy sees you here, she’s going to be upset. And that won’t work in your favor, will it? Especially now that the Hale & Thurston firm has served you,” I said, getting in his personal space.
He cracked his neck. Fixed his face into a cold, unfeeling stare. His nostrils flared as he stepped up to me. “Screwing children like you doesn’t make her seem fit to be a parent.”
“I’m not a child, and who she chooses to date doesn’t have anything to do with parenting.”
A couple rounded the corner, a child wedged between them. They were excitedly chatting about the bounce houses as the little one pulled off a hunk of cotton candy and shoved it into his mouth, nodding with eyes as big as saucers.
Matt stepped back to let them pass, putting his hands in his pockets, the anger a vanished memory from his face. Heightened screams filled the air, coming and going in waves with every gust of wind.
Once they were out of earshot, Matt stepped back up to me. “How long have you two been screwing around?”
I could hear it in his voice… the possessiveness. The territorial intonation between men that couldn’t be mistaken.
He viewed her as his.
But she was mine.
My fingers tightened into fists. “That’s none of your damn business.”
He rolled his eyes and leaned back on his heels, forced laughter booming from his lungs. “Man. Don’t tell me you’re going to be all gentlemanly,” he said, using air quotes. “Does she do the thing with her tongue?” His eyes rolled back in memory as my blood curdled. “Gawd damn, that was my favorite. And her ass.” He held his rounded hands out and looked down at them. “Perfectly smooth and smackable, if ya know what I mean.”
I was trying not to take his bait. Trying to keep my fists at my sides, but they were itching to be used. I was finding it hard to see past the images of Matt and Andy.
Hard to see past that night when Lucy was…
“If you don’t leave—”
“What? What are you going to do? Huff and puff and blow my house down?” Matt teased, his laughter grating like a hyena’s. He snorted, smile vanishing. “You ain’t shit.”
“I’m done here.” I tried to move around him, but his hand found my shoulder, halting me in place. I looked down at it, and then back up at him, fire burning in my eyes.
His smirk was wide and unmovable. “You leave when I tell you to leave.”
I grabbed his hand and threw it away from me. “Touch me again and I’ll put your ass on the ground.” I moved into his space, enjoying the slight quiver in his gaze. “And trust me when I say you don’t want to find yourself in that situation.”
I shouldered past him, trying to figure out a way to get Andy and Charlie out of there before Matt had a chance to get in her head, when his words stopped me in my tracks.
“Desire is a swollen bud between my thighs. Spread me and make me bloom.”
Those were Andy’s words. Private thoughts she said she’d only ever shared with me.
I turned.
“Sexy, isn’t it? The way she can give you a hard-on without ever having to touch you?” he said, shaking the very foundation I stood upon.
I stalked over to him. “It’s true, then. You do go through her stuff?”
Ripples of anger surged through my nerves, into my muscles, begging for release.
He jutted his chin up. “Sure. If you call exploring her vagina and then listening to her share her thoughts going through her stuff.”
I saw myself hitting him. Begged my fists to stay at my sides. I couldn’t let that monster back out. But I couldn’t erase the images of Lucy being forced that night by Stan either. Andy would never let Matt in that way. Not unless it was against her will.
He was a piece of shit. Just like Stan.
“You’re lying,” I forced through my teeth.
“Am I?” he retorted. “Because I remember her crying about a boy she kissed one night when she was drunk and needed help with Charlie. I remember her friend asking me to take Charlie, and then Andy telling her to leave when I offered to stay and help. I remember her pulling me onto her bed and begging me to fuck her. To make it work between us for Charlie’s sake.”
I took a step back. Every word… it was like a screwdriver jammed through my heart, his satisfied smirk twisting the handle.
“She’s amazing when she’s drunk, you know. Completely lets go… if you know what I mean.”
I did, because I’d been with her when she was tipsy. All I could see was her waking up, regretting what happened. Images of him pawing all over her, taking advantage like he always had. I heard her crying, begging him to get off until her face changed and it was Lucy, screaming for help. Crying as my friend rammed himself inside her. I watched her run when I told her to. Watched myself lose it on my friend when he tried to chase after her for another round.
I saw Andy screaming for help as Matt tried to take her.
“Andy is mine. Soon enough, she’ll come crawling back. Especially when she realizes it’s either that or she loses Charlie.”
My blood was white hot, fists formed into steel.
“She may not see it yet, but I never lose. You think I didn’t know she’d eventually run to Daddy? Charlie will be mine. When he is, she’ll have no choice but to do as I say. Just as it should have always been.”
The way he said it, as if she were mere property, and how easily he could use Charlie to force her into a corner… I saw red. I didn’t realize my fist had connected until moments later when I found myself on top of him, pounding blow after blow into his face. He was jabbing me in the side, but my anger was too high to feel anything.
Heightened voices picked up as we rolled back and forth, fighting for dominance over the situation. He was quick and powerful, but I was quicker and more powerful. Fist after fist I slammed into him until his arms went slack and my hands were covered in blood.
I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to.
Not until I heard, “Dean, stop!”
The alertness in the way she said my name plunged a knife into my stomach as my head spun.
What the hell have I done?