The aroma of coffee and sausage greeted me as I woke in Nick Epstein’s house, in his bed. It brought no sense of confusion or past memories. I knew where I was and who I was with.

Will and I had arrived at Nick’s cabin late that morning—both of us stumbled to the main bedroom, exhausted and spent, and fell asleep almost instantly. I had a blurry and rather delicious memory of waking at some point to Will’s mouth on me, a dreamlike quality to the blowjob that left me not entirely certain that it had really happened. But I thought it had. I could still feel Will’s thick hair clutched in my grip as I thrust into his mouth. Then another flash of waking with Will’s back resting against my chest and stomach as he was wrapped tightly in my arms, then falling back asleep in pure contentment once more.

I stared up at the skylight over the bed. Nick had worked the edges of it in a random pattern of yellows, browns, and gold which brought to mind autumn leaves. The tips of tall pines swayed gently overhead in the breeze, and from the soft light, I was willing to bet we were already in midafternoon. We’d slept the day away. A tingle of regret flitted through me, and then it vanished as I snuggled deeper under the covers. There was no rush this time. There was no drama, there was nothing else to worry about except for Will and me and simply being together.

And that thought brought with it a sense of wonder. I never would’ve seen this coming. Ever. But now that it was there, at my fingertips and in my arms… Well… It was enough to have me throw back the covers, jump out of bed, yank on my jeans, and hurry out of the bedroom to be with my unexpected miracle.

As before, Nick’s creations of stained glass that were practically littered around house almost struck me as funny. They were so beautiful, and made the little log cabin in the woods feel so much like a fairytale, that it was a surprise that such a gruff, irreverent man was responsible.

I was a little disappointed when I spotted Will with his back toward me in the kitchen. I’d hoped he’d been cooking naked, or at least with his shirt off. He had on jeans like me but had topped it off with a soft green sweater. All disappointment dissipated when he turned and noticed me. Damn, he took my breath away. How had I been so unaffected by him all those years? Then he smiled, and I remembered. He’d never smiled like that before, never looked comfortable and content, never at ease. But standing there, mostly scruffy, his hair a mess…

Pete’s sentiment came back to me, how it seemed that my destiny involved one remarkable woman, and one remarkable man.

It was humbling, and I knew better than most that there was no guarantee how long anything would last, so I was going to enjoy every single second. “Morning, or afternoon, whatever. You should’ve woken me up. I would’ve helped you make breakfast.”

Will’s smile turned a touch mischievous. “I figured I woke you up enough in the middle of the night. I want you well rested.”

“So that wasn’t just a dream.” I crossed the kitchen, started to hesitate, check for permission, and then shoved that notion aside and kissed him. He sighed contentedly into the kiss and pulled me into him so that he leaned against the edge of the counter and ran his hand up my back to grip the nape of my neck.

I suddenly realized I hadn’t taken even a second to brush my teeth, but he didn’t seem to care.

When the kiss broke and I took a step back, Will ran a hand over my chest and stomach, and shook his head with a smile. “I forget how gorgeous you are, and then you’re standing in front of me and I just can’t quite believe it’s real.”

His caress made me want to rip the sweater off him and let breakfast burn. “Funny, I was just thinking the same of you.”

He laughed and shook his head as if in disbelief, and then turned back to the stove, transferring some of the sausage and potato mixture to a couple of large tortillas. “It is a good thing you’re awake. I’ve got a full day planned. Time to get to it.”

“Oh…” I tried to regulate my tone, so he wouldn’t hear the disappointment. “I didn’t realize. We’re going into town? Playing tourist?”

He started folding the tortillas and wrapping them in tinfoil. “Something like that, except not at all. Figured we’d take our breakfast burritos and coffees”—he nodded to a couple of large thermoses by the stove top—“wander around the woods for a little bit, then come back here and do absolutely nothing that involves clothes.” He winked. “That part can last for a couple hours or the next seven days. Up to you.”

Personally, I was ready to start the no-clothes part right then, but getting out in the woods didn’t sound half bad either, and knowing what Will had been through the past couple of days, I figured it would do him some good, probably both of us. And I was relieved he had the same thoughts of our time together as I did. Just the two of us, shut away from the rest of the world. Finally. “Perfect. Let me go brush my teeth and put on a few more clothes for you to take off later.”

A flash of fur darted between the tree trunks, causing me to gasp. Will and I had hiked through the rainforest-like terrain for over an hour, following a narrow path that barely qualified as a trail. I imagined only Nick and the wildlife used it.

“What?” Will glanced at me then followed my gaze into the dense underbrush. “What do you see?”

“I thought—” Another flash and I leaned forward. Just as I was about to be convinced, a huge squirrel scampered up a tree and disappeared behind the thick branches. I laughed and sagged a bit in defeat. “It was just a squirrel.”

Will peered up the tree. “Hoping for a bear? I’m sure we’ll see one before too long.”

“No. I—” Suddenly I felt foolish, but decided to simply confess. “I thought it was a lynx. But it wasn’t even close.”

“Well, it was probably the fattest squirrel I’ve ever seen. Not quite lynx-sized, but still.” He shrugged. “I know Nick sees them from time to time, not as frequently as bears, but we might get lucky.” He focused too-knowing eyes on me. After our years of friendship, he could see right through me. “You sound disappointed.” The two of us might just have been starting out, but we weren’t… not really.

Another confession. “I thought it was a sign.”

“A lynx is a sign? Do they represent good luck or something?”

“No. It’s just…” I didn’t want to bring the moment down but figured I might as well explain. “My nickname for Katniss is—”

“Ocelote,” he finished for me.

It warmed my heart that the word left his lips as easily and quickly as it did my own. “Yeah.”

“That means a lynx?”

“No. Ocelot, nearly identical to the Spanish word, but an ocelot and lynx are fairly similar.”

He gave an understanding smile. “So it would’ve been like seeing a sign from Katniss. Like she’s given her blessing.”

“Kinda, though she already has, pretty much. More like…” I sighed again and held his gaze, deciding I was being foolish to hold back. It wasn’t like he couldn’t handle me thinking of my past. “More like Meghan, actually.”

Will simply waited, knowing I’d continue.

“I always called her my little jaguar. She was so fierce and determined and strong. Part of why she and Mom got along so well. She was one of the few people Lucy Rivera was unable to control.” I couldn’t keep a smile from forming at the memories of some of the early rows the two of them had. “Katniss is just like her in that way, a touch more subdued, maybe, but not much. So, she’s my little ocelot. Like a mini-jaguar. I know there aren’t going to be any jaguars up here, but lynx would be close…” Another laugh. “In a very roundabout way.”

Will smiled his understanding smile, and his voice was gentle. “Do you think Meghan would approve of us?”

I couldn’t hold back that laugh either. “I think she’d be completely blown away. You’re not exactly the same Will Epstein she knew, you know.”

There was a cringe of embarrassment. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

“Hey.” I grabbed his hand and waited until his eyes met mine again. “She’d definitely admire the man you are now. And it’s not like I haven’t done my own bit of changing.”

“What did she call you?”

“I was her wolf.”

He breathed out an approving sigh. “That fits you.”

After a moment we continued on, a comfortable silence falling between us. After winding our way through thick trees, we stepped into a clearing that held an expansive lake, surrounded by small groves of trees, and the rugged mountains overhead reflected in its thin sheet of ice.

We both halted.

“Damn.” Will’s whisper was reverent. “Talk about perfection.”

“It really is. You know, it’s always seemed like a severe choice to me, but I think I can finally understand why Nick wants to be such a recluse.” I took in a deep breath, letting the wild beauty sink in. “It’s like I’ve never really breathed before, and not just because this Alaskan air is brisk and clean, but…” I gestured at the view that was too spectacular for words “It makes a man feel small, but yet, I don’t know, a part of everything.”

Will slipped his hand into mine. “He might’ve had the right idea. He ran away to here; I ran away to London. Both so different from Lavender Shores, yet so similar. He chose the wilderness. I chose the city.”

“You know, I’ve actually thought that before, at least about this being similar to Lavender Shores. Do you think Nick realizes? Granted, we don’t have the mountains back home, but we have a version of this, surrounded by wilderness, by the national seashore. You’re not going to truly get lost for days like you can here, but it feels like it.”

He grinned over at me. “Yeah, it feels like it, until a video of you making out in the trees goes viral.”

“Fair point.” I laughed. “But in all fairness, we were basically in your backyard by that time. But you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Plus, he made a different version of Lavender Shores in his house. It’s tinier than most places in Lavender Shores, but with the stained glass and everything, that little cabin reeks of Lavender Shores sensibility.”

Will laughed again and nodded. “I know it, but don’t tell him that.” He kept hold of my hand but refocused on the scene in front of us. Some ducks were making their way across the ice, their little webbed feet breaking through here and there. “I think I want both. I want this, away from everyone, where there’s no pressure, no one watching… but…” His gaze flicked to me and then away again. “Maybe this makes me weak or arrogant, I don’t know, but some part of me needs the affirmation, confirmation, something. I mean, it’s like out here. You know that weird question people ask—if a tree falls in the woods, does it make any sound if no one’s there to hear it?” His voice grew far away. “Will it matter, my life, I mean, if no one else knows about it.”

I replayed his words, not sure I understood them, but then… wondered if I did. I hoped I was wrong. “Well, if you think about Nick, he’s out here by himself, living life basically alone. Very few people know about it; does it matter? Does Nick’s life matter?”

“Of course!” He whipped back to me, his tone dogmatic and almost offended, though I got the sense it was more directed toward himself than me, as it softened almost instantly. “Of course Nick matters. But that’s Nick.” He shrugged. “At the end of the day, Nick never wanted anything else other than being allowed to just be him, to do exactly what he wanted to do and have that be enough. I don’t want all the things that I did before, at least not in the same way. I don’t need to have Dad’s approval or have the rest of the town think I’m better than they are, but I think part of me still wants… some sort of confirmation or… recognition.” He winced. “I’m sure that makes me sound so weak to you.”

In a way, at face value, it did, until I saw how much strength it required for Will to admit that need to me. Though I was afraid I understood what lay beneath. I told myself not to ask, but I couldn’t keep from it. “You’re thinking about Angela’s phone call the other night, aren’t you?”

His nod was instinctual, an automatic reflex that left no doubt to his sincerity. “Yeah. But I’m not considering doing anything with Angela.” Though he looked at me again and didn’t turn away, there was definite hesitation in his eyes, fear over my reaction. “I won’t ever work with Angela again, though I really don’t think she was the one who arranged the clip of you and me. But… She was right. I made several calls yesterday to see what my options might be. With everything that just happened, this is the time to strike.”

“A new show?”

Another nod, another glance at the beauty that spread before us, then back again. “I’m playing with the idea. But not like before, not where it follows us around, not where it becomes our entire lives, where it takes over my existence.”

Again I thought back to Pete’s words, remembering them more specifically that time. That he thought Will was on his way to becoming a remarkable man. And he was. This felt like a step back somehow.

I studied him. And as I did, the Will of the past superimposed over the Will of the present and made me unsure who the Will of the future would be.

He must’ve seen disappointment over my face as his expression fell and he sighed. “Never mind. I won’t do it if you don’t like it. I won’t do anything to risk us. Never again.”

That was what I needed. It was enough to tell me that wherever he was heading, it wasn’t the same place he’d been. I took his other hand so he was turned toward me. “Honestly, this is a heavier conversation than I thought we’d be having so quickly, but I’m not going to play the role other people have filled in your life, Will. I’m not going to tell you what you can or can’t do. If you want to do a show, if that’s something you need, then… do it.”

“Really?” The relief that washed over him offered the same sensation to me.

“Yeah, really.” If we were going to do this, then Will had to be Will. But I had to be me. “I do have to say, though, I don’t know what you have in mind. I realize you’ve already said that they’re not going to follow us around, but I just want to make clear I won’t be doing that. I’m tired of living in a bubble. I’m not going to be the widower who fell in love with his twin’s husband’s ex-fiancé. I’m just not. I don’t care whether that’s on camera in front of the whole world or only the rest of Lavender Shores. From this point on, I’m just Andre, I’m Katniss’s dad, and I’m the man who—” I nearly said loves you but couldn’t make myself. It was true, as surreal as it felt, but I couldn’t have the first time I uttered those words be any way connected to a possible TV show “—the man who is with you. And Katniss will never be on it. Are those things okay with you?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely.” He relaxed even further, somehow looked more peaceful than he had in the kitchen that morning, though I couldn’t quite understand how. “I haven’t made up my mind whether I want to do it or not. But thank you for being open to the idea.”

Maybe this had been how Meghan felt when I joined the military. It had been one of our biggest fights. I’d not asked her permission. Just launched myself at it as if was the only choice I could see at the time that would keep me out of my parents’ control but yet not embarrass them. It hadn’t been what Meghan wanted, but she loved me and we made it work.

I released one of Will’s hands and slipped my arm around him. “We’ll figure all this out. Let’s just go slow, and for now, let’s just enjoy the wilderness, the cabin, and not having anybody’s eyes on us besides the wildlife.”

“Deal. That sounds perfect.”