Chapter 6
Brandon
Apparently, I’m not the greatest Alpha when I’m lovesick.
Apparently, I’m not that aware of my surroundings.
When Tony said that Rebecca had been listening, I should have paid closer attention, but I didn’t. I didn’t pay attention and I didn’t even know she was here.
Why is she here?
When Tony and I decided to come running together, I didn’t think twice about where to go. Of course we’d run to the swimming hole. It’s where we’ve always gone. If we need to be alone, to have a private conversation, or just to think, this is the place we go.
I think because I’m so used to letting my guard down here, though, I didn’t even look around. It was stupid of me. There could have been a predator out here. There could have been someone I didn’t want overhearing the conversation.
There could have been anything, anyone.
But it was Rebecca.
Even from my spot on the beach, I could see her bright red cheeks when she peeked over the edge of the cliff. I called her down and there was a moment’s hesitation before she nodded and disappeared.
Now it’s just a matter of waiting.
It’s just a matter of giving her a few minutes to get her sweet ass down here and then we’re going to have a talk. We’re going to have a good, long, decent talk and we’re going to sort this thing between us out because I can’t take another minute of not calling her mine.
I’ll wait for her until the end of time, but I’m going to call her mine. She might not be ready to accept what I’m offering, but I’m still going to offer it. I’m still going to let her know that everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be all right.
Finally, Rebecca emerges from between the trees.
She’s beautiful.
She’s also a tiger.
“Really?” I raise an eyebrow. She looks down at herself and then back up at me, as if to say, “What?”
I stand up and walk over to her. She stands perfect still and I place my hand on her head.
“You’re hiding your beautiful body from me, Rebecca. That’s fine. I understand you might be a little shy. This is the first time you’ve seen me naked, after all, and it’ll be the first time I see you, but you don’t have to be scared.”
She doesn’t move, but I can hear her heart beating faster.
Good.
She’s not unaffected by this.
I pet her soft fur, rubbing her neck and back. Then I move back up to her head. She’s swishing her tail around as I pet her. She’s practically purring. Oh, yes, my sweet Rebecca is excited.
“You’re a gorgeous tiger, sweetie,” I tell her. “I’ve never seen anyone with such a beautiful coat of fur. You take wonderful care of yourself.”
Then I do something I’ve never done before.
I do something I don’t expect to do.
I do something that shocks us both, but that feels so natural.
I kneel down in front of her and I look up at her beautiful tiger eyes.
“But I think it’s time you let someone else take care of you, Rebecca. You’ve done such a good job taking care of yourself. You’ve been so brave. You’ve been so bold. Chris would be so proud of you, honey, but don’t you think he’d also want you to be happy?”
Rebecca doesn’t move. She just looks at me, watching, and I think her heart might be breaking a little bit. I know mine is.
“You’ve been through so much, baby. You’ve faced the whole world alone. You’ve done this all and you’ve done it without any help from anyone, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore, Rebecca. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
Before I realize what’s happening, she’s shifting, and then she’s curled up in a pile of tears on the ground, sobbing. I grab Rebecca and pull her gently into my lap. My arms wrap around her and I start petting her hair.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whisper. “Everything is going to be okay.”
She cries and cries, but eventually, her tears slow, and I keep touching her, keep promising her that it’s all going to be okay, keep telling her that I’m not going anywhere.
“I heard what you said,” she says finally.
“What did you hear?”
“That you love me. Is that true?”
“It’s true.”
“I love you, too, Brandon.”
I kiss her forehead, but don’t say anything else. I adore Rebecca, but this is an incredibly emotional moment. I’m worried that if I say the wrong thing or push her too much, she’ll get nervous and skittish.
I don’t want her to run away.
I don’t want her to have to be alone again.
“You miss him a lot,” I finally say. “Have you said those words to anyone since you lost Chris?”
“I haven’t,” she shakes her head. “I haven’t even been on a proper date since he died.”
“You haven’t been with anyone at all since then?”
“I’ve had sex,” she clarifies. “But I haven’t been on any dates. It felt wrong, somehow. More wrong than the sex, you know.” She laughs quietly. “Sex can just be sex, especially when you’re a shifter. Sex is a biological need. It’s understandable that sometimes you need a release, but dating? Cuddling? Watching endless sitcom reruns together? Those things are personal. Those things require you giving a little bit of yourself, a little bit of your heart.”
“I was right with you until ‘sitcom reruns,’” I say, and Rebecca slaps me gently.
“Dork,” she mutters.
“But I’m your dork.”
“He was my best friend, Brandon. He was my best friend and then he was just gone. We did everything together. When he died, I didn’t just lose my lover, I lost part of myself. There was this huge, gaping hole in my life and I didn’t know what to do.”
“But you survived,” I tell her. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”
“When the police came to my door,” she whispers, “I knew. I knew what they were going to tell me. The cops never come to your door unless they have bad news, of course. We all know that. I just didn’t think it would ever happen to me. Not in my lifetime.”
I pull Rebecca closer to me, holding her even more tightly.
“He was hit by a car while crossing the street, Brandon. He was just walking across the street and someone was texting. They couldn’t wait to send their message and now I’m a widow. It wasn’t even a drunk driver. It wasn’t even that big of a car. It was just some guy who was texting his girlfriend and hurrying home to get some.”
“I’m so sorry, Rebecca. I’m so sorry.”
“And the worst part is that I didn’t get to say goodbye. They took him to the hospital, you know. They tried to save him. They did their best, but they couldn’t keep him alive. They couldn’t save my mate. They could save Chris.”
Rebecca cries into my chest for a long time, and I cry with her a little bit. It’s not fair. It’s not fair and it’s not okay. It’s not all right. What happened to her is a horrible, horrible thing. No one should have to deal with what she’s gone through.
No one should have to handle this.
“I’m not Chris,” I say after awhile. “I’ll never replace him. You’ll always love him, but you know what, Rebecca? I think you have a big heart. You’re the best woman I’ve ever met in my life. You’re kind and sweet. You’re wonderful and thoughtful. You always look for the good in the world. You’re incredible. You’re amazing.”
She looks up at me and her eyes sparkle as they meet mine.
“Do you think you have room in your heart for two?” I ask.