Chapter 3
Rebecca
I am freaking the fuck out.
Brandon the Wolfe City Alpha is coming to my apartment for dinner.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
After he leaves the bookstore, I run through my morning tasks as quickly as possible. Luckily, most of the things I do are really routine and mundane. I organize a new display at the front of the bookstore that features some of my favorite mystery writers, make sure the rest of the shelves are fully stocked and looking nice, and return a couple of emails from customers.
I have to do a little bit of work on the bookstore’s Facebook page, but that doesn’t take too long. I also update the Twitter site, Pinterest page, and blog. By the time I finish, it’s nearly nine. It’s nearly time to open the store for the day.
I still don’t know what I’m going to cook for Brandon.
I switch the sign at the front of the shop from “Closed” to “Open.” Immediately, a little cub runs inside.
“Good morning, Jemma,” I say to the little thing. She laughs and smiles and heads straight for the children’s section of the store. Twice a week, Jemma’s mother gives her a couple of dollars and lets her come shopping while she’s across the street getting groceries.
“Hi Becca!” Jemma says, but she doesn’t pay me anymore attention than that. Instead, she starts looking through the basket of new books I just put out.
“There are a couple of new Ramona books in there,” I tell her, but she squeals as I’m saying it, and I realize she’s already found them.
With Jemma occupied, I do one last sweep of the bookstore and then I settle in at the front desk, ready to face the day.
Sort of.
My meeting with Brandon this morning was a bit strange, a bit unusual. It wasn’t awkward. Not by any means. It was, however, a little familiar. It was a little comfortable. Was he more direct with me than he usually is?
I don’t know why I like Brandon so much or why I feel so good around him. If it was any shifter but me, I’d be saying it’s because we’re mates, but that’s not for me. I don’t get another happy ending. Hell, I didn’t even really get a first one.
Oh, Chris was amazing.
Incredible.
Fantastic.
We knew from the time we were little tiger cubs that we were meant to be together. It was obvious. When he mated me, it was like the world was whole. It was like everything was as it was meant to be.
And then he was gone and I was alone.
I’ve been alone for so long now that sometimes, I forget what it felt like to be with someone. Sometimes, I forget what it felt like to have another person by my side. I forgot what it felt like to have someone who loved me for me, who was always there for me, who always took my word for what it was: the truth.
Sometimes I forget, but sometimes, like this morning, I remember.
And I desperately miss it.
I don’t know if Brandon thinks he’s my mate. I sure as hell think he’s mine, but that wouldn’t be fair to him if it were true. It must be my imagination. The reality is that I’m a broken woman.
I’m used up.
I’m damaged.
He deserves someone sweet, someone innocent.
He deserves someone who doesn’t carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Becca?” Jemma’s voice breaks me from my thoughts. She’s standing in front of the desk with two books and a huge smile on her face.
“Jemma! Did you find something good today?”
“Yes, I did.” She places the books on the counter and I ring up her order. Jemma’s mother lets her come over here on her own and I don’t mind. Jemma is nine now and her mom wants her to start learning responsibility. Coming to the store on her own, albeit under my supervision, is a good starting point.
“Oh, these are good ones,” I admire her choices, and Jemma beams.
“I’ve read them already,” she confesses. “I got them at the library last month, but now I get my own copies, and that’s just even better.”
“I completely agree. There’s something special about having your own copy of a book, isn’t there?”
Jemma nods.
“Three dollars even,” I tell her, and Jemma carefully counts her money and hands me three wrinkled one-dollar bills. I place her books in a bag and give her a receipt. Jemma giggles and smiles, then turns to head out the door. “Have a great day,” I tell her, and she just laughs and laughs as she heads across the street to meet her mom.
I watch her go and my heart stings for just a second as I wonder if I’m ever going to have a child. Chris and I wanted a baby. We wanted lots of babies. We wanted to have lots and lots and lots of little cubs running around. We wanted a whole lot of tiger babies and we were even trying for one when he died.
But then he was gone.
And I didn’t have a baby.
Didn’t have a husband.
Didn’t have anyone.
When I met Dana, it was like I finally had someone to keep me grounded. I finally had someone who could help me through the darkness, who could pull me through. I finally found someone who was willing to just be there for me and it was honestly just fantastic.
So, so fantastic.
And I couldn’t be happier for my friend. I couldn’t be happier that she’s found her mate, that she’s found someone who makes her happy, who makes her smile.
I couldn’t be happier.
Thinking of Dana puts a smile on my face as my next customer comes in. I should call her later and ask for her advice about Brandon, but I don’t want to bother her. Besides, she’s busy helping her husband with his restaurant and growing their own little cub. Yep, my best friend is going to have a baby.
She’s going to be a mommy.
Life is good.
But I still don’t know what to make for dinner.