Chapter 7
Rebecca
“I think I have room for two,” I tell him.
I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow.
I don’t know where I’m going to be in five years.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with the bookstore.
And I don’t know what I’m going to make for dinner.
But I know one thing, and it’s that Chris would want me to be happy. He would want me to find some sort of joy, some sort of solitude in this dark place. He would want me to be with Brandon.
He would love Brandon.
So when Brandon kisses me in the forest, I don’t feel guilty or afraid. I don’t feel scared or overwhelmed. I don’t feel anything but peace. I don’t feel anything but joy.
And I kiss him back.
I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and pull him closer. He tastes like heaven to me: warm honey mixed with berries. He tastes like a bear, not a wolf, but he’s all mine, so I don’t care. I kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.
Then I kiss him a little more.
Finally, he pulls back and I moan in protest.
“I love you, Rebecca,” he says. “But I’m not going to take you right here in the woods.”
“Why not?” I whine, looking around. “There’s no one here.”
“Because our first time is going to be perfect,” he says. “And I’m going to mate you, Rebecca. I’m going to mate you and mark you and prove to the world that you’re mine.”
“Yeah?” I quietly raise an eyebrow. “Is that a promise?”
“It’s a pink promise,” he says, holding out his pinky.
I start laughing loudly, not quite believing that this is really happening. We’re sealing our mating promise with our pinkies, but then again, I never really was traditional. Chris and I got married when we were so young. Everyone thought we wouldn’t make it. Everyone rooted against us. Now things are different.
Now I’m older, wiser.
I’m a little more mature.
I’ve seen a little more of the world.
But despite all of that, Brandon makes me feel like I’m still really young. He makes me feel alive in so many wonderful ways, in so many ways I haven’t felt in forever.
“What happens now?” I ask finally, but Brandon just laughs.
“Now it’s playtime,” he says. “And then I have to get back to work.”
He lifts me up in his arms and I think he’s going to kiss me again, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks to the edge of the water and before I realize what’s happening, he tosses me to the center of the swimming hole and I sink down into the cool water.
I sink.
I allow myself to focus only on the physical sensations surrounding me, and I close my eyes.
I used to swim a lot as a cub. My mother used to take me to the lake every weekend and we’d swim together, splash in the water together, catch fish together.
This is different.
In this moment, I’m not just splashing around and having fun. In this moment, I’m realizing that I really have grown in the years since I lost my darling. After Chris’ death, I thought I’d never love anyone – not even a friend – again.
Dana changed so much for me.
She showed me what true friendship is. She showed me that friends are always there for you, no matter what. She showed me that when you’re feeling alone, you should have someone you can call on to help you. She showed me that sometimes, just sitting with someone is enough to make them feel a little bit peaceful.
She showed me that I can dare to try again.
And now I’ve got Brandon, too, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
When I hit the bottom of the swimming hole, I move my feet and push against the sand. I propel myself up, up, up, and out of the water, splashing above the surface like a mermaid. I hit the open air and I just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Brandon swims out and wraps his arms around me.
“Having fun?” He asks.
“The most fun.”
“I thought you might be upset I tossed you in, but you’re just too adorable. I had to.”
I kiss him softly on the lips, feeling his mouth against mine.
“I don’t mind at all. You come here a lot, don’t you?”
He nods. “It’s where I come to think. When I need to be alone, I like to put my feet in the water and just look at the beauty of nature.”
“Typical wolf,” I murmur.
“All shifters like nature,” he points out. “Not just wolves.”
“But wolves have weird outdoorsy habits, like dipping their toes into the water while they think,” I tease him.
“Plenty of people do that.”
I cock my head to the side and just look at Brandon for a good, long minute. His eyes are bright and piercing. I don’t think I could ever lie to him, not even if I wanted to. I think he’d know. Those eyes are so deep they seem to go on forever, and I think that if he ever asked me a question, I would have to be honest.
There would be no other option.
And that’s okay.
“You’re right, you know.”
“About what?”
“This place is beautiful. I don’t know how I’ve never seen it before.”
“Not too many people know about it, to be honest. You’re the first stranger I’ve ever seen out here. Usually it’s just me or me and Tony.”
“You should put a cabin on the shore,” I say, pointing to the area he was sitting earlier. “Maybe ten yards back from the shore or so. Look. It’s the perfect area for a little cabin. Then you could stay out here.”
“We could stay out here,” he corrects me.
“Yes,” I say. I don’t know what’s come over me because suddenly, all I want is to build a little cabin here with Brandon. I’m picturing our little cubs coming out and splashing in the water, playing around, having fun, and I’m picturing cooking for Brandon.
But while the fantasy version of myself seems to know exactly what to make, the truth of the matter is that I still have no idea what I’m going to cook Brandon for dinner.
And then he kisses me.
And I forget to worry.