Cameron

I sat on a stool at the island in the kitchen, reading a sports magazine with a completely faked air of unconcern as I surreptitiously watched Amy play with Noah in the living room.

That could be me. I could be sitting cross-legged on the floor, Stegosaurus in hand, knocking over Lego-trees and fighting little green army men with my son instead of Amy. Together, my Stegosaurus and Noah’s T-rex would eliminate the threat that the green army men posed to the forest and save the day.

It’s good for him, I told myself miserably. Noah was always so shy with Amy, but right now he was giggling and smiling. And he was such a sensitive kid, always picking up on my moods. When I worried, he worried, even if he didn’t know why. Ruining his day with my fears wouldn’t help either of us.

I set the magazine down on the counter, deposited my dishes in the sink, and swiped my case from where it leaned against the wall. “Bye, Bud. I’ve got to go to work. I’ll see you later, okay? Whoa, watch it!” I laughed, releasing the case so I could catch the armful of wriggling limbs that flung themselves into my arms.

“Can we play later?” he asked, his brown eyes serious. “The dinosaurs have to save the planet!”

I was fairly sure that in the National Geographic show that happened to be playing last night, the narrator had said something about saving the planet - but I doubted he had given dinosaurs that particular responsibility. “Later,” I promised, hugging Noah close and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “Hey,” I whispered, beckoning to him and waiting for him to lean in. “Don’t tell Amy. The cookies are on the top shelf above the stove.”

He nodded solemnly, eyes as serious as ever - but sparkling with a hint of mischief.

One last hug and a quick word with Amy about lunch, and I was on my way, case in hand and renewed worry dragging at the heels of my trendy shoes. Chloe had sounded fairly confident, as though she had plenty of ideas and merely needed to make a few calls to give me some good news. Leave everything to her? Yes, please. It had sounded like a perfect solution.

I needed a nanny. I needed an attorney. Throughout my life, I’d become used to working for what I wanted and needed. Sitting around when I had things to deal with hadn’t been good for me. Watching TV, reading a book, fixing a late-night snack - nothing had helped, and I’d ended up falling asleep far later than I meant to last night.

The result of this was that I had stopped for more coffee to drive away the tiredness from too little sleep. This caused me to get to the office ten minutes later than I intended, which was why I missed Chloe by a few ticks of my watch. My mind buzzed and my hands fidgeted, and I really wanted to know if Chloe had come up with anything before I tackled my enormous plate of CEO responsibilities today.

Too bad.

A couple hours later, Chloe walked into my office just as I decided to see if she had returned yet. “Good morning,” she said affably, clearly in a good mood.

That made one of us. “Morning,” I replied shortly, wearing my hopefulness on my face.

“I haven’t found an attorney yet, but I did find a good candidate for a nanny.”

My back snapped straight in the chair and I dropped the pen I’d been fiddling with. “Really? Who? And where?” I added as an afterthought.

“Right here at Pinnacle. You remember my secretary, right? Diana Hayes?”

Diana. Diana. I tested the name in my mind, and it felt just right. Wasn’t Diana the name of a goddess in some civilization’s mythology? Fitting. Perfect. Beautiful, just like the woman herself. “Of course.”

“She confided in me that she’s in a situation where she needs some extra income.” Chloe held up a single index finger to quell my obvious excitement. “I haven’t mentioned a position as your nanny to her yet, so don’t take it as a done deal. And I don’t feel comfortable explaining her personal situation to you, so don’t ask me. She can do that if she wants.”

“Of course not,” I said as though I hadn’t already had the question on the tip of my tongue. This could be perfect! I’d seen Diana around the office and taken note of her charms and capability, so she wasn’t a total stranger. Noah needed someone with confidence who would realize that his quietness was a shy nature hiding a great kid.

But… there was still that other problem. The one that neither Chloe nor Diana could find out about. If Diana spent time with me and Noah, could I keep my feelings in check? Could I make sure every word and action on my part was entirely appropriate and befitting for a boss-employee relationship? This morning, if Diana had been sitting on the floor and playing with Noah instead of Amy...

Hopefully, I didn’t visibly slouch with relief when I found the solution. “Could you please inform Diana that I’d like to consider her for a position as a nanny, and if she agrees, set up a meeting? Since the position will be outside of the Pinnacle building, I’d like to meet somewhere else. After work, maybe.”

“A coffee shop, then. Time-honored meeting place and all that. Sure, I’ll talk to Diana, and I’ll update your calendar if she agrees to a meeting. If she can do today after work, would that work for you?”

Today? “Uh - yeah, today works.” Chloe gave me a look but left without comment. Today! So soon. Somehow, even though today was perfect if Diana was amenable, I hadn’t expected... I hadn’t been at all prepared for...

It’ll be fine, I told myself firmly. This was exactly why I would be meeting Diana in a perfectly appropriate public place chosen and set up by my executive assistant. Diana wouldn’t suspect that a single unbusinesslike thought crossed my mind, she wouldn’t realize that my gaze wasn’t quite as innocent as it seemed, and she would definitely have no clue that I desired more from her than her skills as a nanny...

Boss-employee relationships never worked. As long as I repeated that and remembered why the words were true, this meeting would go just fine.

“You don’t even have a meeting yet,” I mumbled to myself, rubbing at my eyes. Diana could say no. Maybe she hated kids.

Fifteen minutes later, I got a text from Chloe. Diana says that she loves kids and would like to meet with you after work to discuss your open nanny position. She’ll be at that little coffee shop around the corner at 5.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or slap my own forehead.

If yesterday’s work had dragged on interminably, today’s zipped by like a lane-splitting biker. Worry and relief played havoc with my brain in equal measures. I wouldn’t be hiring a stranger, thank God. But I would be hiring my employee, who looked like a goddess and happened to have the name of one too. And I didn’t know if I would actually be hiring her, obviously... We hadn’t talked yet. She could say no. When I told her Noah was shy and could be hard to connect with, she might change her mind even after she said yes. If she said yes. Because she could just as easily say no... Which might be better. Then I wouldn’t have to be on guard against her tempting curves...

An hour after lunch, I lifted my hand to scratch at my forehead and found it beaded with sweat despite the comfortable temperature of the room. That was right after a particularly bad bout of doubt. Shortly after that, I found myself smiling fondly at a report. It was one I was carrying once when I walked by Diana and found her laughing.

This is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. That realization finally helped calm my thumping heart and nervous anticipation, leaving me feeling a little bit silly. This wasn’t a big deal… I didn’t need to make it one.

By the time my watch showed 4:40, I felt calm, collected and ready for this meeting. Did I need to leave 20 minutes early to get to a shop the next block over by 5? Absolutely, if I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t run into a certain beautiful woman on my way out of the building.

The coffee shop was large, pleasantly-decorated, and very familiar - I’d been here dozens of times over the years because of its proximity to the Pinnacle building. Deliberately, I sat at a table facing away from the door. I would not be staring when Diana walked in pink-cheeked and ruffled by the winter Chicago winds. The corner of my eye caught movement approaching my table.

Pink-cheeked, certainly. Ruffled, not at all. Diana looked as though she’d just stepped out of a beauty shop; not a hair out of place. “Good afternoon.” Her voice was brisk as the chill outside, and it reminded me why I was here - Noah. I wasn’t here to admire Diana’s… everything. Which was a shame, because every time I looked at her, I found something new about her to admire.

“Hello.” I stood and shook her hand. Her skin was soft and smooth, her fingers cool from the frozen world outside. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I’m Cameron.” For some reason, the words didn’t sound quite as smooth and comfortable as I had expected.

“I’m hoping it’ll be a mutually beneficial meeting. I’m Diana.” She smiled, clearly more at ease with the conversation than I was.

“Me too. As Chloe probably told you, I’m in need of a nanny.” So direct… That wasn’t like me. I enjoyed a good conversation, and I had the feeling I could have a great one with Diana under different circumstances. And if I were different.

“Right. An overnight nanny for your son, right?”

“Exactly.” Chloe must have given her a few details. “The first night is next week, and I’ll need a nanny for three nights. I’m… not entirely sure when or how often I’ll need someone after that, though.”

Slightly confused but clearly not inclined to press, Diana just nodded. “I’ve never stayed the night, but I worked as a nanny in college and I’m good with kids. How old is your son?”

“He’s three. He’s a good kid, but…” How much should I say? “But he’s pretty shy and he doesn’t usually talk to strangers.”

“That’s okay.” Diana’s voice rang with confidence. “I’ve been around shy kids before. I have my ways.”

“Noah’s...” My voice trailed off uncomfortably. Noah wasn’t just a little shy. “Noah’s very shy. We actually go to counseling to help… help him open up.”

“Oh.” There was an uncomfortable short silence, then Diana’s sunny smile returned. “Well, I’m sure we’ll get along fine anyway.”

Fishing around for something to say, I settled on a question. “I was just wondering, why are you looking for extra work… I mean as a nanny?” The instant the words left my mouth Diana’s face fell, I could have kicked myself. Idiot! Hadn’t Chloe just told me she needed money for personal reasons? “I’m sorry, that’s not really relevant,” I tried to amend what I had said.

“No, it’s perfectly relevant. If I was a mother I’d want to know why someone wanted to be around my child too.” Her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath. Not that I focused on that, of course, because I was looking at her eyes the whole time like I should have been, not at her ample bosom. “My mother needed hip replacement surgery recently, and she’s still recovering from it in a nursing home since she needs care and I have to work. We fell a little behind on the bills and I just need to pick up a little extra work to catch up.”

A little, a little. I doubted the situation was as minor as she wanted me to think, but she clearly didn’t want to talk to me about it... That might not be true. If I didn’t ask her, how could I know? “Overnight nannying is a lot of extra work to catch up on some bills,” I ventured. She could tell me, if she chose to take my comment as a question - and I found as I leaned forward, clasping my hands, that I wanted her to tell me. I wanted her to tell me what was wrong. I wanted her to tell me how I could make it alright.

“It might - it might be the mortgage we’re behind on,” she admitted hesitantly. “I got a letter from the bank about it yesterday. We missed some notices they sent about late payments… It’s the home I grew up in… I’ve been preoccupied and haven’t paid that much attention to the mail… Most of the time it’s just junk mail.”

That shocked me. A notice after some unreceived letters? That could only be a foreclosure notice. And… This was her childhood home? I tried to imagine what it would be like for someone to seize my home and say it was theirs to sell and that I couldn’t live there anymore.

Heartbreaking.

Spurred by the sudden need to do something, anything to make Diana feel better - or even just to make her feel that she was not alone - I found myself sharing my own situation. “The reason I need an overnight nanny so suddenly… well, it’s my ex-wife. Noah’s mother. She filed for full custody of my son… our only child… No, my only child.” I cleared my throat. “I have to fly out to San Francisco for the court dates.”

Luckily, I had to fix the sleeve of my jacket before I could look up. Pity? Judgement? What would I see when I looked at Diana’s face.

A wide, amused, and slightly sardonic smile. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. I guess neither of us has had a very good week, have we Cameron?”